“I wanrt someu warfers,” (MBLAQ Mir reference <3) Sehun attempted to repeat as Kris strictly instructed him to the four words on the computer screen.

“No, no. Try again. I, want, some, wa-FFLES.” Kris said in his fluent English, his bass voice booming throughout the dorm.

“I want someu wa-PPLES.

*Koreans find English hard to pronounce at times because their mother tongue, Korean, has no sound for f and for v. Instead, f is replaced by p at most times (which is why Tiffany is Tippany) and v is replaced by b, hence making borrowed English words like high five turn into high pibe.

“F. Say that. Fan. Friends. Fruits.” Kris said, naming the sixth letter of the alphabet easily, causing Sehun to be a little envious.

“Pan. Priendz. P-p-f-fruits! Hyung, I said it!” Sehun excitedly announced it to the ten guys eating breakfast in the kitchen.

“Good job, now say Vancouver.” Kris instructed.

“Bancuber,” Sehun said and Kris cringed.

“That was sorta horrible.” Baekhyun commented from the side, and Suho nudged him. “Don’t discourage our maknae,” he whispered.

“fine, let Bacon hyung try it!” Sehun whined.

“Why do you call me Bacon?” Baekhyun asked.

“Lazy maknae has no schedule so we make him monitor. He probably picked it up from international fans,” Kai smirked.

“What does Bacon mean, Kris?”

Kris laughed, a rumbling sound shaking the dorm. “It’s fried processed meat foreigners eat for breakfast.”

“We haven’t debuted yet and already people are calling me MEAT?” Baekhyun screeched.

“It’s good; it means that we’re already gaining attention even pre-debut. Don’t worry about it, BACON.” Chanyeol smirked.

“Ugh, Engrish,” Sehun cursed.

“It’s EngLish.” Kris emphasized.

“Engrrrriiiish engrish engRISH~” Sehun sang, annoying the leader. “If you don’t say it correctly, I will make you memorize an entire paragraph. In ENGRI-ENGLISH.” Kris promised.

“Omo! Hyung just said Engrish! I’m right~!” Sehun chirped.

“Holy crap Kyungsoo, what did you put in the kid’s breakfast this morning?” Xiumin grumbled, throwing a steamed bun at the maknae’s head.

“Holy crap Minseokie-hyung, why did you throw a frozen steam bun?” Sehun mimicked the oldest, causing him to throw another frozen steamed bun at his head.

“Sehun, seriously, you’re hanging out with Changmin and Kyuhyun sunbaenim too much. It’s…unhealthy for you.” D.O. nagged, pulling calmly at Sehun’s arm. “And listen well to Kris. He has good intentions.”

“Mehrong,” Sehun smiled widely.

“Look, you all at keeping this kid calm. I’ll do it.” Luhan threw a pillow at Lay, who was inching near his bed.

“Luhan, time for you to get up anyways,” Tao rolled his eyes, just returning from early wu shu practice.

“Shh, I’m going to work my magic. The guys won’t even know how I do it,” Luhan grinned smugly.

“Tell Sehun to stop being an , I want to sleep.” Chen grumbled from his room, but welcomed Lay to join his bed. “Lay, what are you DOING?” Suho yelled from the living room.

“I want to sleep but Luhan wouldn’t let me so I moved in with Chen,” Lay pouted and dove into the Korean vocalist’s bed.

“This is how you work it.” Luhan turned to the younger guys, bowing proudly. “Sehun, shut up~” he said and Sehun immediately clamped his mouth, waiting for next instructions. “Listen to Kris.” Luhan said.

Sehun obediently turned to Kris with anticipation in his eyes.

“Now let me sleep,” Luhan stalked off to his bed again, with the rest of the group in awe.

“Okay, okay. So we’re learning Engrish?” Sehun asked innocently.

Kris rolled his eyes. “English.”

“Fine, English. Continue on, Mr. Kris.”

“We’re just gonna go over the basic every-day speech. Translate whatever I say into Korean.”

“Sounds fair,” Sehun shrugged.

“Thank you.” “Kamsamnida.” “Hello,” “Annyeonghaseyo.” “Hello? On the phone.” “Yeoboseyo?”

“I’m hungry.” “Na baegopah.” “You’re not bad,” “Mwoh?” Sehun asked.

“No, I’m just saying, your English skills are better than expected.”

“How about this? I am a dog.” Kris said.

“That doesn’t sound like everyday English…” Sehun said, confused.

“Just in case you need to explain.” Kris urged.

“When do I ever need to explain that I’m a dog?”

“When people ask you why you always follow Luhan around,” Kris retorted.

“Oooh, Sehunnie just got OWNED!” Kai jeered, and D.O. smacked him over the head with a spatula. “Shut it, immature dance machine,” he rolled his eyes and continued making omelets for those who were sleeping in.

“Aish, why do I have to learn English anyways?” Sehun complained, flipping through Kris’ worn-out copy of Romeo & Juliet.

“It’s an international language. You’ll need it to communicate world wide.”

“Like when?” Sehun stubbornly asked.

“World tours,” Kris replied.

“SM thinks that world= Asia. As long as I speak Korean and learn basic Chinese and Japanese, I’m perfect. Besides, if we go overseas, we can depend on you!”

“What English did you learn in elementary and high school?” Kris asked.

“You are thekthi.”

Kris rolled his eyes. “That’s it?”

“Leteu uth hab pun,”

“Let us have fun? What fun?”

“Thekth.” Sehun shrugged and Kris choked.

“Wait, did your English teacher tell you that?”

“No, I learned it from an online forum a few years back,” Sehun admitted truthfully.

“What? ? But you’re not even 18 now, how could you be 18 a few years back?” Chanyeol screeched. “I didn’t say I was 18, I just said I was on an age 18 forum…” Sehun said.

“Holy craaap!” Xiumin squeaked.

“Minseok-hyung! Don’t swear in front of maknae,” Suho immediately said.

“Yeah, the maknae that once visited legal forums,” Kai smirked.

“I-I didn’t see anything!” Sehun protested.

“There isn’t much to see on a forum anyways,” Luhan popped his head out of his bedroom door, helping his friend out.

“Yeah! There’s nothing except comments,” Sehun chimed.

“In English? So you understand English?” Kris said, disinterested.

“That’s not the point, Kris! The point is that he was on an explicit forum page!”

“Well I’m teaching him English, not life lessons!” Kris fumed.

“L-look, Changmin sunbaenim sent it to me!” Sehun said, almost scared to tears.

“Oh Sehun,” Suho sighed.

“Y-yes?” Sehun replied, scared that the leader called his full name.

“Nono, I meant, Oh, Sehun, like, Oh, Sehun, what can we do with you?” Suho explained.

“Are you gonna throw him out?” Kai smiled happily and D.O. threw a spoon at him.

“What? So you can rightfully claim the ‘y maknae’ title?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

“Okay, whatever you say, ‘person in charge of eyeliner’.” Kai retorted.

“Guys, please, just because Kai has a problem with shirts and Baekhyun has a problem with eyeliner doesn’t mean we need to fight.

“Are you gonna listen to my lesson or what?” Kris impatiently crossed his arms, then uncrossed them to fix his hair for the billionth time.

“How can I listen to silence?” Sehun questioned back.

“You ,” Kris said in pure English and the rest of the group looked on in confusion, not understanding.

“Thuck…thuck…ah! I thuck dickth!” Sehun snapped his fingers in pure ingenious.

“Holy ,” Kris mumbled. “You have no idea what you’re saying, do you?”

Sehun shook his head.

“No, if I did then I’d be in huge trouble.”

“I don’t think so,” Luhan said, now sitting at the table munching on D.O.’s omelets. “They’d just cry, love you more, spasm, and go home and write fan fiction.”

“Guys, manager hyung just texted! Practice in 10 minutes, hurry up!” Suho shouted, interrupting the conversation.

“We sure learned a lot,” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, smiling at Kris, who didn’t look amused.

Suho hurried into Chen’s room.

“YAH KIM JONGDAE! GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF LAY, NOW!”

“I wonder how to say that in English,” Sehun murmured. “Actually no, I couldn’t care less.”

-------

hihi! so here's the 6th chapter ^^ *phew, half way through~*

i just got to reply the comments so yeah even if they were from the first chapter, i'll reply.

@ChoKyute: haha gomawo

@candycane96: hehe sehunnie's my bias, but we can always share ;) <3

@IrisButterfly: thank you LOL 

@ChoKyute: omg sometimes i just wanna jump into the acidic pool of my horrible humor :') but thank you

@princezz_hime: isnt that why we all love thehun <3

@jelly143: thank you hehe hope you enjoy

@candycane96: omg i have too many otps in exo i cant choose DD: 

@aZn_sw3in: haha thank you! yes the last part, wonder what our mischevious boys are up to now ^~^

@candycane96: yeah im putting hunhan moments but its not like i'll suddenly change sehun/luhan's ual orientation. tahnks for feedback!

@candycane96: gah i love readers taht comment on every update! gomawo! and /sobbing/ that you actually read my boring rant . thank you again and again (and again and again *cue 2pm*)