[a/n: during dialogues where members are speaking, I will be using their real/birth names. In the narrator’s point of view it will be their stage names.

Eg. “Kyungsoo, I love you,” Kai said, snuggling up to D.O. “I love you too, Jongin,” D.O. smiled.]

“Where’s Jongdae?” Xiumin yawned as he came out of his room.

“Still sleeping, I guess,” Suho said, looking at Chen’s room.

“Where’s Jongdae?” Kris furiously walked out of his room, holding up his mirror which was ruined.

“What happened to your mirror?” Sehun asked half-heartedly while he gathered Sehun’s hair up into an apple hairstyle.

“Someone drew over it with Sharpie!” Kris groaned.

“Where. Is. Kim. Jongdae?!” Baekhyun stormed out of his room, holding up an empty tube of eyeliner.

Sehun touched the mirror, dragging his finger down. “I don’t think it’s Sharpie, it feels and chemically reacts like eyeliner.”

“Whatever, smart guy, it’s still ruined.” Kris rolled his eyes.

“Yeol! Go get Jongdae for me,” Baekhyun demanded.

“But I’m eating,” Chanyeol said, stuffing a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

“YAH GO GET JONGDAE, SERIOUSLY,” Baekhyun glared but Chanyeol continued eating.

“I’ll hit you!” Baekhyun threatened, and Chanyeol gestured to his head, then Baekhyun’s head. “I’m taller than you, do your best,” Chanyeol rumbled, eating even more.

“Please Chanyeollie? Please with cherries and car-sized shoes on top?” Baekhyun resolved to aegyo and Chanyeol sighed. “I don’t understand why you can’t get him yourself, you’re much closer,” then he stood up and walked towards Chen’s room.

“KIM JONGDAEEEE, MY MASTER WANTS YOU,” Chanyeol shouted at the door.

“Master?” Suho rose an eyebrow, and Baekhyun shrugged. “It’s a long story.”

“A long story,” Luhan whispered to Sehun and the maknae blushed.

“Chanyeol-nim! What are you doing?” Chen screeched, clutching his pillow and blankets as he fled his room, Chanyeol chasing him with a water gun.

“MUST SATISFY MASTER!” Chanyeol roared as a stream of water shot into the small of Chen’s back.

“What wrong medications are you on?” Chen screamed as the cold water hit him again.

“Yah, more like what medications were you on when you drew over Kris’ mirror with my eyeliner!” Baekhyun.

“How would you know it was me?” Chen asked, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Who else would have such horrible penmanship! I could distinguish all our members’ scribbles!” Kris said.

“The irony, hyung! Your writing is bad too! And also, that’s not scribbling! It says, ‘dansheen masheen Chen’,” Chen protested.

“And isn't that all the more evidence that you did it?”

“Well, are you guys pissed?” Chen asked, a sly smile playing around his lips.

“Take a wild guess, Jongdae.” Kris glared.

“You always look like that though, how could I tell if you were mad or not?”  Chen protested.

“Fine, let me put it into words. I. Am. Mad.” Kris said through clenched teeth.

“Mission accomplished, then. I have cake, wonderful hyung; would you care for some cake?” Chen grinned cutely.

“KIM JONGDAE, I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET-”

“Ooh! Gege, let’s go get cake! Thanks, Jongdae hyung!” Tao pulled on Kris’ hand, pouting up at him excitedly.

Kris sighed and glared at Chen again. “you got yourself out of this one, smart one, mess with my mirror again and I’ll-”

“OOH CHOCOLATE CAKE! I LOVE YOU JONGDAE!” Tao squealed cutely, unlike his tough image.

“B-but hyung! Trolling is an art!” Chen shouted after Kris, waving the mirror around. “You have to be clever and secretive!”

“Is that what you’re teaching me today?” Sehun grinned evilly.

“Yes, my little grasshopper! Sensei is here to guide you through the wonderful journey of being a successful troll.”

“Finally something useful,” Sehun said.

“Was my modelling not useful?” Luhan pouted.

“Except for you, hyung,” Sehun smiled widely.

“Traitor,” Kai mumbled, smudging a bit of cake into Sehun’s face.

“Hyung! You know I love you too,” Sehun whined.

“Yah! Double timing the both of us?” Luhan and Kai complained in unison, turning around and leaving.

“Congratulations, Sehun! You have just trolled two people at the same time!” Chen said ecstatically.

“Really?” Sehun asked sceptically.

“Yeah, because in truth, you love me! That was wonderful!”

“Right, sure, hyung.” Sehun rolled his eyes, doubting the usefulness of Chen’s lesson.

“After a trolling attempt, do not hint anything that leads to the fact that you’re trolling. If the victim points out that you're a troll, that signals a bad attempt at trolling and you shall stay off trolling until senses come to you.”

“Where did you learn all these?” Sehun gaped, his eyes large and b with interest.

“Urbandictionary, and a little skills and experience of my own,” Chen smirked, picking a piece of lint off his shirt in satisfaction. (A/n: seriously, I got all these off urbandictionary so if you want more trolling tips, search it up at urbandictionary.com haha)

“Thank you for the cake, Jongdae,” Kris patted Chen’s head gingerly, and Chen smiled at him angelically when he knew he had been forgiven.

“This is really good cake,” Kris kept commenting, grabbing another slice and taking a big bite. He chewed in silence until his eyebrows knit together and…

“Kreem Zhoun drae, whart e dish?!” (translation: Kim Jongdae, what is this?!)

he spat and quickly ran to the garbage.

“Just a lovely little…surprise, why?” Chen asked innocently, batting his eyelashes.

“A fortune cookie in the middle of a cake? What is your problem?”

“It’s a win-win! You get cake and a fortune cookie and a fortune! How much better could it get?” Sehun piped up, doubling over in laughter.

“Explain yourself,” Kris demanded.

“I just wanted to show some love, a fortune cookie isn’t bad, is it?” Chen asked, itching to not burst into laughter at the look of indecisiveness on Kris’ face.

“Until I open it,” Kris grumbled and Sehun leaned in to read his fortune.

Your position as leader will be taken over one day by a great man named Kim Jongdae!

“Yah, and this is supposed to be a nice little surprise? Right.” Kris snorted.

“Aw, I wonder who would be so considerate and nice to add my name in here too?” Chen asked, faking surprise.

“You're a sneaky hyung,” Sehun commented from the side, “and I’d call myself an evil maknae but I think you deserve the title more.”

“Really? Thank you, oh thank you, Sehun!” Chen leapt onto Sehun.

“Just kidding, you could be evil, but not a maknae,” Sehun stuck his tongue out.

“I could get rid of you and Tao and Kai…” Chen suggested.

“What about Kai?” Kai walked into the kitchen with Luhan in tow.

“Where are you guys going?” Sehun asked, jealous.

“Hanging out at the bubble tea cafe,” Luhan replied, happy that his and Kai’s plans are working out.

“Hey~ I’m home!” the door opened and D.O walked in, heaving and trying to squeeze in bags of groceries and junk food and necessity items for a household of twelve men.

“The bubble tea will have to wait,” Kai whispered and immediately jumped to help D.O.

Luhan pouted crossly. He toured around the house, mad that Kai had ditched him and Sehun had left him for Chen.

Speak of the devil, Luhan involuntarily walked into Chen’s bedroom, flipping through his stuff with boredom.

“What’s this? A book?” he picked it up and without reading the cover, ran into the living room.

“Sehun! Let’s go study! Come on, say bye-bye to Jongdae-seongsaenim!” he quickly dragged Sehun away, letting the boy leave no protests.

Luhan’s bedroom door slammed shut and Chen sat quietly in the living room.

“LUHAN HYUNG. WHAT THE HELL IS ‘HOW TO BE A TROLL 101, TIPS BY MASTER KIM JONGDAE’?”

 “Desperate Luhan is desperate,” Chen grinned happily.

---

As promised, here is my update! School just began today and I'm already tired ;__;

again, just so you'd know, this story will be ending in about 4 chapters and I'd like to thank you guys again and again and again and again (cue 2PM again and again) for reading and commenting and being wonderful readers and supporting me all this way! 

and LOL i realize that Sehun doesn't have much part in this chapter, but yeah, some love for EXO's resident troll Kim Jongdae!