“Sehun!” Suho pushed the small body of the maknae.

“Sehun,” D.O. pushed a little lighter, gently urging him to wake up.

“Seeeehhhuuuuuuuuniiiie~”, Baekhyun cooed with his greasy gooey voice. “Eww,” Se Hun sat up from his bed, disgusted. “That was so girly!”

Baekhyun pulled back, shocked and sad. “I’m not girly!” he protested, eyes wide.

“That’s what they all say,” Chanyeol swung an arm over Baekhyun’s shoulders and gently pushing him out of Se Hun and Suho’s shared room.

“Yah! I’m really not girly!” Baekhyun screamed as the giant of the group dragged him through the doorway.

Sehun got through his daily wakeup routine of brushing his pearl white teeth and rubbing every trace of sleep out of his eyes, and finally refreshed himself enough to walk to the dining room to meet the other members.

“Maknae! Do you know who’s teaching you today?” Kris barked in a joking way at Baekhyun. “Nope,” Sehun looked up with a mouthful of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth open!!!” D.O. screamed and waved a spatula, accidentally hitting Kai on the head and he fell onto the floor, groaning.

“Sorry,” Sehun said again with a mouthful of rice. “DON’T TALK!” D.O. spun his spatula and as Kai stood up from the ground, hit Kai again and he fell back onto the floor.

“Hyung!” Kai moaned from the floor [A/N sorry I need some Kaisoo right now]

“I’m sorry!” D.O.’s eyes widened and clumsily swung his spatula backwards in panic, hitting Chanyeol.

“Ow,” Chanyeol boomed with his deep voice but nevertheless smiled widely because he had like a tattoo of a smile on his face.

“Your teacher today is Baekhyun!” Chen announced.

“Maybe not, he’s sorta mad about the girly thing.” Lay said in his broken Korean, gesturing towards Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s shared room.

“He’s crying and all his eyeliner and mascara are like dripping down his face!” Xiumin cackled evilly.

“I don’t even wear mascara!” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, walking out from his room.

“H-hyung, were you actually crying?” Sehun asked, cowering a little.

“No! I was putting on a new shirt, all the bullcrap these guys make up,” the eyeliner prince smiled a small smile and walked towards Sehun. “H-hyung are you gonna hit me?” Sehun walked back a little.

“What makes you think that?”

“I bought you new eyeliner! Liquid liner!” Tao quickly said, as the peacemaker and innocent youngling that can’t stand violence in the dorm despite being a kung fu master.

“Liquid? Really?” Baekhyun was immediately distracted and smiled widely and the panda. “Kris I need to borrow your liquid liner, fast,” Tao whispered to the leader.

“I am not borrowing my liner for that blackhole of eyeliners. He’s going to dry it all up before tomorrow even come by,” Kris shook his head firmly.

“Bbuing bbuiing?” Tao asked.

“You do know that is only for variety show images right?” Kris smirked but his heart wavered a little.

“Bbbuiiing bbuiiiinngg~” Tao tried again.

“It’s in my top drawer…” Kris grumbled.

~~

Once Baekhyun was satisfied with his work with Kris’ eyeliner, he turned to Sehun. “I am wisely passing down to you some of my limited humor preserved for variety shows.”

“You have humor?” Sehun accidentally said and covered his mouth. “Sorry, I mean, of course, hyung!”

“Kyuhyun sunbaenim befriended him,” Kai explained and Sehun shrugged. “He seems…nice?” he explained. All his hyungs swallowed back strings of groans.

“Well, we only have some basics, you just have to get them down and not be an awkward loser and then we’ll be okay.” Baekhyun instructed.

“Are you still mad at me because I called you girly?” Sehun pouted, sad.

“No, yes…maybe. Let’s just get going. Step one, People enjoy when others get tortured, but not too much. So act troubled when asked a hard question, for example your non-existent love life, or when they make you drink soy sauce or something.”

“Hyung you’re so harsh,” Sehun pouted and his eyes looked sad. But of course, although he looked cold, Baekhyun was a softie and he couldn’t stand sad people. Just like a piece of bacon, the outside crusts are hard and crunchy but once you bite inside he is soft and amazing.

“Okay, okay, let’s just practice this. There really isn’t anything for me to teach you about variety skills, it has to come naturally,” Baekhyun ruffled Sehun’s hair, which earned a squeal and a disapproving glare from the younger latter.

“Suppose you are on Strong Heart, and I ask, ‘Sehun-ah, do you have a girlfriend?’” Baekhyun said, looking thoughtful.

“No!” Sehun quickly said, blushing.

“You are so obvious, Sehun,” Chanyeol said. “So obvious what?” Sehun continued madly blushing.

“So obvious that you have a crush on Luhan~ahahaha~” Xiumin laughed and Sehun ducked his head. Luhan looked intrigued and surprised.

Sehun looked around the room suspiciously; nobody could know that he had alittle guy-crush on Luhan! Unless they stalked him, or were in his room 24/7…

He peered at Suho and the leader tried to put on an angelic smile. “What? I totally don’t look over your shoulder while you’re scrolling on your laptop! Not me,” he protested lamely

“You were watching me while I read fanfics!” Sehun accused, then realized what he had just shared.

“What kind of fanfics, Sehun-ah?” Kai choked on his laughter.

“Nothing you need to know,” Sehun snapped, embarrassed.

“He likes fluff more than ,” Suho shrugged and Sehun launched himself at the not-so-leaderly-leader with a high scream.

“I don’t know, I think Sehun could pretty much manage the variety show concept without my help,” Baekhyun mumbled.

“Right but if we were to ever get to feature on a show then we certainly can’t talk about this story,” Kris said logically.

“But it’s not like we’re saying Sehunnie reads , he reads fluff!” Kai smirked.

“Yah like you don’t read fanfictions, nevertheless ,” D.O. scolded his roommate like how a mother would scold her child for being rude.

“Shhh,” Kai nudged him.

“Are we spilling secrets now? Okay, Baekhyun actually reads-” Chanyeol started but the vocalist jumped on him with fast reflexes.

“Shut up I’m teaching my lesson be polite,” he said in one breath, taken aback that his secrets were about to be spilled.

“You’re just mad because I know everything about you and you don’t know anything about me because YOU READ SNSD FANFICTIONS ALL DAY AND PAY NO ATTENTION TO ME!” Chanyeol said the last part really fast, but unfortunately it was an unpredicted attack and Baekhyun couldn’t stop it.

Instead of teasing him for reading fanfictions as well, Xiumin looked at Baekhyun seriously. “Sorry but you sort of have to tell me your bias so I’d know whether or not my bandmate is also my competition,” he said.

“I-noooo, I totally like f(x) more,” Baekhyun backed away nervously under the glare of the oldest.

“Right because then you’d have to put up with me,” Chen smiled nicely but his eyes suggested otherwise.

“Then what about 2NE1? T-Ara? Wonder Girls?” Baekhyun suggested weakly and Sehun stood smugly in the corner.

“We called dibs a loooong time ago, Bacon,” Suho rubbed his neck.

Ten very immature guys started fighting over girl groups and that left Luhan and Sehun standing alone.

“So, uh, do you really like me?” Luhan asked shyly.

“Maybe,” Sehun blushed.

“You know this is the part in those fanfictions where you say Yes and we kiss passionately, right?” Sehun looked up at the older flower boy, shocked.

“Yeah but…you read them too?”

Luhan dipped his head shyly. “Maybe, but they might not be as bad since I read them in Chinese and all,” he proposed.

“Right, and K-fans are just way more dirty and inappropriate,” Sehun laughed.

“Maybe I’m not right about that, but you know what’s worse than Korean and Chinese fan fictions?” Luhan asked as Baekhyun emerged from the fight, waving a handful of ripped clothes.

“What?” Sehun asked, distracted by the scene before him, as Chanyeol dragged his best friend back into the fight.

“International fanfictions. Those…I have no words for.” Sehun and Luhan laughed together for the first time.

--

this is probably a filler but technically this story doesnt' have a solid story line so dafug

so i spent my weekend just reading one shots of all my exo ships and am craving HunHan so i wrote some lol

you guys are awesome & thanks againn <3