Title: [4/5]

I believe that your title basically told the reader a little bit about what the story was going to be about, a foreigner and a kpop idol.  A title has to be eyecatching and has to sound appealing to the reader in order for them to check out your story.  The title did fit the main idea of your story though.  

Description/ Foreword: [7/10]

Your description was sweet and simple, and gave the reader the right amount of information and not too much.    Your foreword was good, it gave off a little bit of how the story begins and that's what a foreword is basically for.  But, I didn't give full marks because I believe your description and foreword needed to be a bit more captivating like something that will make the reader want to immediately subscribe instead to pass off.  Like they say, making a good first impression is everything because the description and foreword is basically the only thing that will get people to become interested in your story and want to read it.   

Originality: [8/10]

Through other people have similar plots to yours, I believed that yours had an original feel to it.  I liked how Minra's dog goes and plays with another dog who has the same name as Jonghyun dog, it like seems mysterious yet predictable in a sense.

Plot/ Writing: [18/30]

I liked your plot, but I felt that it was slow going because I only read your 9 chapters and they're mostly about Minra and her friends settling down in Seoul.  I kept waiting and waiting for Minra to meet her love interest, but nothing happened.  

Characters: [8/10]

I liked it when you described Minra, I got the sense of how she looked like and her personality-wise.

"I was always just the weird and nerdy part-Asian girl in the back of the class who ignores everyone else.  I am so short and petite for my age that I don't even look 18!  I still look about 14 or 15, which makes everyone I know seem to point it out every 3 seconds."

Grammar/ Vocabulary: [17/25]

I noticed that you spelled 'toke' instead of 'took.'  You also spelled 'paid' wrong a few times as 'payed.'  There were other minor mistakes, but these two were the most popular.

You should write more in depth so that the reader can actually feel like they're in that person's shoes and experience all the senses the character is experiencing in the story.  Sometimes you're descriptive, but not as much and be more specific like "I prayed that the boy would take the money," what did you exactly mean by that, was it US money or Won? 

You should also label who's POV it is because I got pretty confused at certain parts.  I thought all the chapters were in Minra's POV, but then I realized that chapter 3 and 6 was in Wendy/ Yeonhyo's POV so next time please point that out.  

You should stick with calling Alex by one name.  I know the other two girls had english names in the beginning and then switched to korean names instead when they arrived in korea and everything was alright because you continuously called them by their korean names, but with Alex, he was going back and forth with his english and korean name so that might have been confusing for some readers.

Overall Excitement: [2.5/5]

To be honest, it wasn't that exciting for me.  I found it mediocre, I like stories which get me excited and wanting to read more of it.  

Extra (Poster/Background/Chapter Titles/Chapters Length): [4/5]

I liked your poster and background.  I thought that the chapter title did go with each chapter, but you lost a few marks when it came to chapter length.  I felt that some were good length, but others were too short.  You want to have good sized chapters so that the reader doesn't lose interest.

Total Points: [68.5/100]

Thank you so much for being the first person to request at our shop, it means a lot to us and all the best of luck on your story!

Reviewed by: ForeverFifi

Thank you much for requesting at 'Chocolate Cupcake's Review Request Shop' and we hope to see you again!

~Enjoy