Morning.

The night before had left an imprint in every inch of your being, you had tossed and turned, your mind unable to switch off from what had happened. Sleep must have won the battle, as eventually you awoke that next morning, your head buried into your pillow. Sunlight leaked in through the windows and eventually you found the strength to pull yourself from your bed. You shuffled towards the full body mirror that stood in the corner and examined yourself. Your skin had become paler, eyes dark and heavy from a distressed sleep, hair matted clumps falling around your shoulders. Even your arms looked skinnier, as if the last few days of no eating were finally taking their toll. Your nightgown hung off one shoulder and a memory flashed of Taemin being cradled there, nestled against your neck, his breath on your skin. You shook your head to rid the thought.

You showered and dressed but took your time even more than usual, anxiety bubbling away in the pit of your stomach with every movement you made. Am I even ready to face him yet? You felt so on edge, you thought you could be sick, but a lack of food prevented you from doing so and you instead nervously paced along your bedroom floorboards, glancing out the window now and then to observe the thick white snow that covered everything for as far as you could see. There was not much to see admittedly, everything disappeared into a white blur beyond a couple of bare trees that seemed to be floating in thin air.

A searing pain hit your stomach and you wrapped your arms around yourself, as if it would calm the hunger pains. Your mouth was dry and you realised that maybe you should eat something after all. You hesitated before opening your bedroom door out on the empty hall way. You glanced towards the direction of Taemin’s room and saw the door still tightly shut as if no one had ever entered or left. He must still be asleep.

You progressed towards the staircase, taking a hold of the banister as you shakily took each step. The kitchen seemed so far away today as you dragged yourself towards it before stopping dead in your tracks. Taemin was awake after all. He was slouched over the kitchen counter, a shiny, bright green apple in his hand, half eaten. His eyes snapped up on your awkward figure in the door way.

‘Morning!’ he replied in a tone cheerier than you’d ever heard him use. You blinked back at him, swallowing hard.

‘Morning…’ your voice cracked as you stepped into the room grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. Taemin suddenly spoke again and his soft voice startled you, almost spilling the water down your front.

‘Did you sleep okay? You look tired.’ Taemin said, taking another bite from his apple. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that had put you in a worse mood than normal, or the fact that Taemin was doing small talk with a sickly sweet expression on his face that didn’t wash well with you.

‘You’re asking me if I slept okay?’ you answered him with a blank tone.

‘Is that not a normal question to ask someone who looks half dead?’ Taemin blinked back at you. ‘You look exhausted.’

‘Well, you waking me up in the middle of the night didn’t exactly help, so no, I’ve slept better.’ You proceeded to down your glass of water, and placed it down on the counter with a loud clunk. The boy’s eyes widened and he wore a look of confusion.

‘I woke you?’

You glared back at him, trying to work out if he was fooling around or not, but his expression was just as blank and showed no sign of breaking into laughter anytime soon. ‘Yeah… you were having a nightmare and I came to check on you.’ Taemin’s eyes narrowed as if he was deep in thought, searching every crevice of his brain to work out what you were saying. ‘You don’t remember?’ Taemin shook his head, not the response you wanted.

‘Are you sure you’re not going crazy?’ he chuckled, throwing his apple core to the bin that you were standing near to, tapping at your forehead. You slapped his hand away.

‘Don’t you dare call me crazy, you can’t tell me what crazy is!’ You scalded him, Taemin recoiled slightly, looking back at you irked. ‘I wasn’t the one screaming my head off, crying into my pillow, begging for help and-’ you cut yourself off before progressing any further, biting down on your tongue. Through Taemin’s thick honey blonde bangs you could see his eye brows raise slightly.

‘I did that?’ he stared back at you, you nodded and he scratched the back of his head. ‘I really don’t remember… I’m sorry.’ he let out a sigh. ‘Did I do anything else?’

Your mind pondered over the many little details that stuck in your head vividly, but didn’t dare to mention the most vivid of all. ‘You err… you were scratching your arms.’ Taemin smirked in disbelief. ‘Don’t make that face, look!’ you leaned towards him, pulling his shirt sleeve up towards his shoulder. There must’ve been a mark left somewhere… but all that greeted you was perfect skin, unscathed and milky white. ‘Taemin, I’m not lying.’ You took a step back from him, frustration written all over your face.

‘I never said you were…’ he sighed. ‘I’m just saying I don’t remember. Is that all?’

Don’t tell him. If he can’t remember that then you certainly didn’t want to remind him of it. He would laugh even more at the suggestion that he would have… kissed a girl like you, after you’d seen the state you looked that morning. You decided to spare yourself the embarrassment and shook your head. ‘That was pretty much everything.’ You sighed in defeat. Taemin’s expression dropped slightly.

‘Well, again I’m sorry. I was going to go dance now… maybe you should go back to bed and rest.’ He placed an uncertain hand on your shoulder before leaving the room. You wanted to call after him, but what was there to say?

You stood staring blankly at the wall, contemplating why you were feeling so awful.

Taemin had stolen that kiss from you and was unaware, it left no memory on him as it did to you; you hated to admit it, but you couldn’t help but feel a little...

...crushed.