You pushed the heavy oak door with your eyes tightly shut. You needed a few more seconds to compose yourself and confront whatever awaited you. You took in a sharp breath and snapped your eyes open. Taemin squirmed in his bed, shrieking in agony, bed sheets strewn across the floor from his fighting. The candle holder you clutched in your hand dropped to the floor and you rushed over to his bedside.

You stared for a few moments.

The dim moonlight from the lattice windows was all that highlighted Taemin’s ghostly white skin that glistened with sweat. His eyes were shut tightly and he continued to scream, his limbs flailing and grabbing hold of any material he could find for comfort. The veins stuck out on his neck, salty tears falling from his sleeping eyes, rolling down his pale cheeks.

‘Help me!’ he shouted into his pillow gripping his matted blonde hair tightly in his hands. He sobbed and wailed and you didn’t know what to do.

It could only be a nightmare… but you knew you weren’t supposed to wake someone who was having nightmares. ‘Please help me’ his voice cracked into the bedclothes, he sounded so terrified, so pathetic, the screams were unbearable.

‘T-T-Taemin…’ you stuttered, fear hitting the back of your own throat. He continued to convulse before sitting upright in his bed, holding his head in his hands, continuing to scream. He wrapped his arms around himself and you looked on as he started to claw at the flesh on his upper arm, starting to leave red scratch marks. ‘Taemin… stop!’ your voice trembled, tears welling in your eyes watching Taemin torturing himself like this. You reached out and grabbed him by an icy cold wrist, prising his fingers away. His hand locked with yours and he squeezed harder and harder, you thought your fingers might crush in his hold. ‘Taemin…’ you placed your free hand on his shoulder and started to shake him. ‘Taemin it’s okay… it’s just a bad dream. It’s okay.’ Tears continued to fall down his cheeks, his lips red and sore from nervous biting.

‘Why does no-one ever come to help me?’ he whimpered, taking a hold of his hair and pulling on it hard, you watched his eyes squint shut even harder, lips trembling. You managed to shake your hand free from his tight grip and placed both your hands on either of his cheeks. You held his face in your hands, feeling a strange mixture of burning hot skin one second to icy cold the next.

‘Taemin I’m here… it’s okay, I’m here. I’ll help you.’ You sobbed softly, attempting to dry his sodden cheeks with your fingers. ‘I’m here.’

You stared at his drained expression, cheeks glistening and reflecting the moonlight and watched as his breathing suddenly slow down, you could feel his pulse racing, you swore you could hear your own heart beating in your ears. Taemin squinted hard before his eyes snapped open and he took in a sharp breath as if he hadn’t been able to breathe for hours.

His eyes were almost black, pupils dilated in terror, eye lashes soaked with tears. you wondered if you should let go of him, take your hands away, but he still stared at you so pathetically, like a small child. His breathing quickened and he spluttered out your name in disbelief.

‘It’s okay. You’re okay.’ You whispered, attempting to dry his eyes with your shaking fingers. Taemin’s body suddenly lurched and he flung his arms around you, squeezing as tight as possible, nestling his head into the crook of your neck. You sat back in dismay as he held you, feeling his heart pounding frantically against yours.

‘Hold me back…’ Taemin stuttered against your skin and it seemed like he was going to break down into tears once more.

‘Taemin…’ you sighed in defeat, before wrapping your own arms around his trembling body. ‘It’s okay.’