"So you're half japanese and half korean. You spoke English fluently. Good. And how come you don't call me oppa? You don't know, I'm a whole korean myself."

"Does that mean I have to call you oppa? In any case, are you older than me? And what do you mean I'm fluent. Are you praising me or insulting me? Here, it required to study English because English is the universal language. People in all over the world understand. You? Didn't you know it? Didn't you go to school? Are you even educated?"

"If you would tell your age maybe perhaps we would tell. You, being fluent in speaking English is not a praise or an insult. It's just a compliment. Don't worry, I'm not an indecent person. I'm educated."

"Kevin-kun I'm not open-minded so I would tell you absolutely nothing. Tell, tell. Um, how's my cooking? I'm not that confident when it comes to it. I'm not good enough. I'm not confident unlike other people."

"I'm not gonna give you any comments unless you tell me your age. Age isn't a big deal. Confidential much, hmm?"

"Yeah, right. You're teasing me and I don't want to be teased. Stop asking me stuff. It's none of your business."

"Ah maybe you're an OLDIE now, maybe 130 years old. You only had plastic surgery and change your identity, you and everything. Yeah, that must be it." *nod**nod*

"That's all you have to say? Do you think so? Kidding is all you have to say? Screw you. You didn't think about my feelings. What do you think I'm feeling now? ."

"Now, now. I'm sorry. I shouldn't said words who'll hurt and offended you, Saku-chan."

(SFX: *Silence* (Um, awkwardness???))

"Sorry too about your hand. I... don't like--- it's more like hatred. Those people, they did nasty things and blame it all to me. They believed I have been responsible in everything. They thought and assumed that it was what I WANTED. Darn, I was sorry. So SORRY. I didn't mean it."

"What are you talking about? I don't understand you." ----> clueless

"Uh, that was just my DRAMA. Excuse me while I cry like a girl."

(=0.0=)

After eating lunch, I treated Kevin kun's hand. It's not that deep and serious so it'll be ok. It's just a simple wound. I thought he would drain his blood and kill himself. I don't want IT anymore. I'm tired of it. Everything is covered in red then black. It was all fading and no one seems to notice that I'm a monster in their eyes. Thank God, they wouldn't know everything. Every single detail. It's forbidden to be known. It has to be. No matter what. I wasn't ready to face the consequences. They would just judge me and *sigh* you wouldn't understand. M life's complicated.

Now that I think about it. It's my first time to hold a guy's hand. I never get near to boys. Well, I did just once. Remember my ex? Yep, he's the first boy really close to me. Let's not talk about him, please. He's gone in my life. End of the story.

Do you know what was Kevin-kun's hand feels like? It feels like silk and a feather. It's so smooth, so light, so white, and so soft. Like a girl's hand. I want to touch it always. He has nice hands. So beautiful and nice. No sign of dirt in it. It's PURE. Unlike my hand, it's always been covered by dirt. Sometimes, I feel that something yucky has been there dripping even though there's nothing. I felt uncomfortable with those times. I can't sleep. I stay wide awake till morning until the feelings are gone. It's so hard to live but... I have to because of only one reason. The only reason left why I'm still leaving aster all that happened.

A BOY.

It never occured to me that I'm trying to live normally just for a boy. But NO, HE'S NOT JUST A BOY.He change my life. He changed my life I was into in past. He became my light temporarily because he LEFT ME the moment I calmed down though I haven't completely recovered. I don't know why he left me abruptly. MAYBE, he has his own reasons and he didn't want me to know about it because he knew I would be sad. Whatever his reasons, I don't care anymore. I just want to him personally. I don't even care when is that chance.

I don't know much from him or his physical appearance but I KNOW DEFINITELY that there's something, there has to be something that he'll remind him of me. I'm hoping that he still remembers me  and wanting to see me too but he don't know where he'll find me. Will we ever meet again?

"Um Saku-chan, are you finished?"

"D-Does it bother you that much?"

"Why? Seems like you wanna touch it for a long time." *smirk*

"Who? Me? SHUT UP! That's only what you think. Perhaps your wild imagination."

I let go of his hand.

"Hmm, it is? I guess? Wait, you only applied betadine on it. Are you not going to bind it with something?"

"I don't have ANY."

"Then, can I ask you a favor? Would you mind if I borrow your HANDKERCHIEF just for a while?"

"You don't have ONE with YOU??"

"Sorry, I don't have any with me today. I failed to get one. So, WILL YOU? It's just a substitute to the band aid or the bandage. Promise, I'll return it to you washed. Please, Saku-chan." *bow*

"But I had only one now. It's my favorite and the most important thing I have. You don't have to take it away from me!"

"TRUST ME, I won't lose it."

"Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys. I don't know if I'll able to trust them. They ALWAYS say such words to just LIE to us, girls! I'll be able to trust just THAT ONE."

"No, THEY AREN'T. Not all boys were like that. I'm not like them!"

"You're saying that just because YOU'RE A BOY! You haven't experience to be lied of. You won't understand because you're CLUELESS. You don't know how it feels. You don't know how PAINFUL IT IS TO BE LIED OF!"

"Calm down. I'm not here to argue with something you don't want to remember. I hope a 'sorry' would settle this for now. I won't bother you anymore."

How is it? I hope I did well this time. Sorry, I've updated so long. Sorry, for the wait. Hope you support this fanfic!! my first fanfic!! Yippee! Thanks, all of you!!! KISS ME!