Your heart is in peril. Everything hurts. You're unable to stand, walk, or even sit. Your vision is swirling with imagery; of menories trying to split your head open. Your cheeks are dry with tears, and you stare at your vanity chair with a blank face, having tired yourself out with your random fits of sobs. Everything within you is shattered, peices of organs and blood littering the ground. Every part of you is oozing with the dark crimson of the blood, and you're afraid of standing on your own two feet, knowing they'll get wet.

Removing blood from skin that absorbed it so finely is difficult, you know that from experience.

So you lie on your bed, wrapped in your silky blue blanket and hoping for death to greet you soon. You are completely, utterly numb. Your fingers and toes are buzzing with the sensation, and you're afraid of the concept of amputation, but you're so deeply ingrained with greif and sadness that you don't care. You'd go through fates worse than amputation if it'd get your family back; to get your old life back.

It's been almost a week with you staying in this state. You're aware of the worry you're causing the vampires in this house because they haven't stopped visiting you, hoping to get you to eat something or do something with your time to alleviate your emotions, hoping a shot of serotonin will get you back on your feet. But you're riddled with thoughts of death and loneliness so severe that you have no powers to do anything. Kyungsoo had to force feed you bread once just so you'd eat.

I'm going to die here, you think to yourself, humming. This thought is the only thing that you let pass through your head; a reprise. It's cathartic. You had always been so full of life despite Gee's insistance of your boredom; the simplest of things had brought you glee and made you keen with happiness. Even though you were partially cynical, you were different around your family. You allowed them to see past your walls, and allowed yourself to laugh and love them. Yet all you feel right now is the complacency of death. If death came knocking on your door, you'd give him your body without a single thought.

Death is the instant relief of the miserable mind.

You don't know what to do. You don't know how to get over this. Junmyeon's presence wouldn't help either. After what he said to you in the greenhouse, you feel as if a tender rope between you has snapped, and no matter how strong the bond between you is, it has no purpose when one of the recipients is fighting against it. His presence in your room would have probably made you feel worse, but it doesn't stop the incessant need to be flowing in his vicinity, even if you were reduced to the air he breathes. Your heart aches at the memory of his gorgeous face and the whispy tone he talked to you with. Everything within you aches, actually, and you know you're under the influence of missing him so much. You didn't think missing a stranger like this was possible, but here you are burning from within.

Perhaps your fire would ignite this room and you'll fall with it as it burned.

"You're still lying in bed?" Someone speaks on top of you. You flinch so hard you bang your head against the headboard. Your eyes fly to the tan face of Kim Jongin, the man that had introduced himself to you after his friends had failed to get you out of bed and were forced to try his luck. He was absolutely stunning; with sharp jawbones and visuals that can cut steal, but he was so kind and tender you wonder how a vampite can be this vulnerable. Then again, vampires have personalities, too.

"Go away." You grumble gloomily.

He yanks the blanket out of your body, and you glare at him venemously as the cool breeze of the fan attacks you at once. You curl around yourself and stretch the long sleeves of your shirt over your hands to preserve heat, and you curl your knees up to your face. You have absolutely no desire to talk or see anyone, and if Jongin thinks he can remove the state of your despair into something sunny and bright, then he is wrong.

"Get up. We're going shopping." Jongin orders. For a gentle soul he smirked a lot and ordered you all the time. Who does he think he is?

"Have fun shopping, then." You say flatly.

Jongin narrows his eyes down at you. "You're going with us. Kyungsoo wants to refill the cabinets. Since you're our only human resident he wants you to be able to pick any food you like."

"I will eat dirt if it will stop you from dragging me out of this bed."

Jongin sighs and uses his sweet voice to coax you out of your bed. "C'mon. You have been on your bed for how long? A week? You'll never get better if you stay here wallowing in self pity."

"Just let me suffer in silence, please, or dig me a hole to die in if you want. Any method of death is welcome." Your voice is nothing but a drawl of disinterest.

He stays silent and you think he's going to leave, finally, but you're befuddled by his body falling down on the bed next to your curled body, his warmth oozing out of him in waves and blanketing you in a sense of eerie calm. You look at him as if he's insane, but the softness of his usually sharp face deters you from saying anything snarky.

"I know things are difficult," he begins, soft tender and willowy enough to resemble a whisper. "You're here in a strange place living with strangers. Your whole life has gone to and you don't know what happened or where are your parents. Junmyeon's not acting like the man I'm proud to call our leader and you're an Envoi for God's sake. I didn’t even know these things existed! You've probably lived your life entirely skeptical of people and worried about your livelihood; you can't trust anyone and your life is a mess occuring after another. I know that. But, isn't life worth it? Worth fighting for? What if your family is alive? Do you think they'd want to see you like this?

"That's the corniest thing I've ever heard in my life." You say. Yet you're crying again. Tears fall down the bridge of your nose and gathers on your silky-smooth beddings, creating a wet splotch. You're not going to care or be uncomfortable with it.

"Will you please come with us?" Jongin tries again. "Outside might be a good thing for you to be in. Isolating oneself only worsens a suffering mind. You need to be amongst other people now, and you know, sniff the air."

"You think I have the capacity to sniff air, Jongin?" Your voice is low but incredulous.

He takes out a black card from his pocket and shows it to you, grinning playfully. "Junmyeon Hyung gave us his credit card and told us to buy you things to feel more at home. Clothes, food, furniture, whatever you want. Told us not to worry about the expenses and to get you whatever."

You stare at the card in surprise. Junmyeon did what? "Why would he do that?"

Jongin shrugs. "I don't know what transpired between you two, but that's the kind of man he is. He likes to make everyone happy."

You ponder for a while. Is this his way of apology? He did say he was sorry, no matter how worthless his apology was for you. Maybe he's trying to persuade you another way? You don't know. He's very hard to unwrap or understand.

"Okay," you sigh, sitting up and wiping the dry tears off of your cheeks. "I'll go."

Jongin grins widely. "That's great. Get ready. We'll wait for you downstairs."

You watch him as he leaves your room and closes the door with a soft click. You release an exhale from the bottom of your heart, long and heavy, before you force yourself up on your feet. You look down at your toes, knowing that your expression is worse for wear and that your ache has reached your bones, but you stand up nevertheless and choose something to dress yourself in. Jeans and a white T-shirt. You leave your hair in an unflattering ponytail and wear the pair of boots Chanyeol dug from somewhere and were just a little bit big on you, so you know it's an old pair from one of them. You don't care about how you look but you like the smooth feeling in your toes as they're enveloped in the soft fur of the shoes.

You walk downstairs and find Jongin, Sehun, Baekhyun and Yixing waiting for you. They're all wearing the same black coat that reaches their knees and they're all having their hands inside the pockets. They resemble a group of mafia members who are about to eradicate a werehouse or something, and you find yourself smiling for the first time in a while.

"Ready to go?" Yixing asks. Once again, he's not smiling, but there's a soft look in his eyes. You give him a nod and then you all exit the house.

When you were wandering around the vampire territory before you were violently caught by Baekhyun, it was dark and you weren't exactly in a mood to sightsee. Now t