You lie down on your bed with the clothes the coven provided you with, consisting of a large sweatpants you had to tighten around your hips and a big white shirt. Despite their hospitality and their personalities (which are meeker than you expected) there's nothing in your heart for them. They're strangers you feel nothing for, and no matter how much you want to get to know them and intervene with their daily lives, you have no idea how. There seems to be a big wall between the two of you; a bigger wall between Junmyeon and you, so you sit on your bed pathetically and stare at the wall.

You've never felt like this before, but you also wasn't in a situation like this before. So you cut yourself some slack, even though you are usually pretty harsh on yourself. You decide to be gentle this time. Your previous you would understand the conundrum a soulmate bond goes through, and she would understand the absolute emptiness you feel at the loss of your life and the loss of your family. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest, and you feel like you're about to choke on all the emotions welling up in you, so you try to take deep breaths to level you out, but the inhales and exhales seem to suffocate you more than alleviate your enxities, and you claw at you throat desperately to have some air in.

A knock on your door makes you gasp, breathing in large quantities of air, and you sit in your bed breathing heavily, clutching on your midsection with black spots dancing in your vision. What was that?

"Come in." You call weakly, and the heart-shaped lips of Kyungsoo comes into view as he enters your room holding another tray of food. Your previous elation at seeing food being brought in is gone, and you stare blankly as he waddles further in to place the tray on your table.

Usually, he gives you your food and leaves. He never strikes conversations with you. Other than the first time you met him and he introduced himself to you, he hadn't said a word to you. You think he's about to act the same, but you're surprised at seeing his feet come into your peripheral vision, which means he came closer.

"Are you okay?" His voice is gentle and warm and low and it should have brought butterflies to your stomach, but all you feel is the dull pang of hunger and fear. You are spiralling into a dome and you have absolutely no idea how to yank yourself back on your feet.

"What do you think?" You swallow. "I'm away from home; I have been attacked and kidnapped and belittled. I have no idea if my family is alive. I'm lying on a bed in a house filled with strangers and I'm soulmates with someone who doesn't even give two s about me. I'm this close to losing my head and you're asking me if I'm okay?" You don't want to snap at him. He's the least one deserving of your bad attitude, but coupling with your dark negative feelings and your sense of loss, it makes you sharper than usual. "I have absolutely no idea what to do next and I'm losing my Goddamn mind. I'm not okay, Kyungsoo. I'm really, really not."

He stays silent while you dig fingers into your hair, breathing heavily from the farthest area in your lungs, and you look down at you lap with wide, mad eyes. You're having a breakdown; you know the signs of your meltdowns, and you still have no idea how to get yourself out of it. So you sit there in Kyungsoo's vicinity and try to breathe. In and out. In and out, you tell yourself, trying to match your breathing with your words.

You feel a hand on top of your head on your own fingers clutching your hair, and you freeze. The hand is big and callous but manages to be warm at the same time. You find yourself retreating your own fingers from your hair, and you slowly tilt your head up to meet his naturally round eyes.

"When I'm upset," he begins to say; talking to you like he's talking to a friend. "I find that a glass of warm blood helps me navigate my feelings."

You furrow your eyes. "And how would a glass of blood help me? I'm not a vampire."

He smiles, and the exact shape of a heart that his lips turn into makes you oddly flustered; your heart beating for a completely different reason than your anxiety. "What I meant to say is, you should find the equivalent of your own glass of blood, something to cool you down."

"But I'm trapped here, Kyungsoo, where can I--"

"There's a small greenhouse in here, did you know that?"

"I.." you begin, blinking. "I don't really know anything about flowers."

Kyungsoo takes his hand off of your head; you think he'd retreat entirely, but he runs a gentle finger down your cheek, the warmth exploding against his finger warming your own heart. "Take a deep breath in the form of flower essence. Getting out of your room, having fresh air, and eating food, you'll find that they're amazing mood stabilisers."

You agree, of course, but you think your problems are much bigger than what food and air can fix, but maybe that's you wrong about something. You really don't want to move from your hole of self-loathing, and you want to bury yourself in your pit of despair, but maybe Kyungsoo is right. Maybe you can find yourself in a better place if you searched for it. This emptiness does you no good.

You remember your heel, and after getting the directions of the greenhouse, you ask Kyungsoo if he can retreave it. He isn't sure if his coven mates has disposed of it or not, but he promises he'd search for it.

You lift yourself from your bed and head for the bathroom to change into better suited clothes. Some of the spares they gave you were oversized, which definitely belonged to some of the men, while others were new and completely in your size. You wonder who was in charge of providing you with clothes, probably someone who was good at guessing sizes, like Yixing. When you're done changing and refreshing yourself, you take your tray with you as you hit the road to search for the glassdome known as the green house.

Thankfully, you find it easier than expected, and as you look in awe at the absolute green sight of nature like a fool, you find yourself walking in circles. There are large daffodils, wild orchads, peonies and sunflowers. You catch sight of flowers you don't even know but were very excited to caress with your hands nevertheless. You find a small white bench against a dirt road and you sit dowd there to begin eating your food, which you just realize is a plate of pink pasta and chicken thighs.

You eat your food and happily take long inhales of the natural air around you and finally begin to feel a sense of calm. Your heartbeats has softened into a normal rhythm and your head isn't whispering mean things to you anymore. The company of food and fresh air is almost magical, and you think Kyungsoo probably deserves a thank you. And an apology; having exploded on him when he was nothing but kind to you is something you tended to do to people, but you know it's not your intention to be rude. This is why he deserves an apology.