Hanni closed her laptop and hid her face in her hands. Why was she trying to study the history of jazz when she knew her mind wasn’t there?

She couldn’t stop thinking about Minji and what happened hours ago. When did it all go wrong? They were having fun. Minji was the one who wanted to learn the guitar! But then she threw that fit when Hanni tried to help her?

What the hell!

Standing up, she fetched her jacket and purse and left. It had been a while since she took a night walk, something she always loved to do. The summer nights weren’t as warm as before, but the chilly air felt good as she walked aimlessly.

Hanni exhaled, long and loud and frustrated. It was past ten and Danielle was still out. She loved the girl and it hurt to pretend she was fine, just tired, when she invited her to hang out with the others. On some other day, she would have said yes. Or, maybe she still should try and occupy her mind with something else.

A small smile crept on her lips as she remembered the night of the party. She was cold, and instead of going back inside, Minji hugged her. How that simple act was enough to keep her warm and cozy.

How she wanted to hug Minji at that moment.

How she suddenly wanted to write. Those lyrics she randomly started but flowed so well, or maybe even some new ones.

But she kept walking, Wave to Earth playing on her ears. ‘Homesick’ started playing, and Hanni had to stop herself from skipping the song. Ever since Minji showed that vulnerable side, so contrasting to her cool and nonchalant day to day self, Hanni couldn’t listen to that song about missing home without thinking of Minji.

Was she feeling lonely?

Hanni reached for her phone, opening for the nth time the convo with her. But also for the nth time she locked her phone and pocketed it again. What was she supposed to say?

Looking up at the sky, her eyes scanned the surroundings for a split second. There was a playground on the other side of the road, one she never noticed. In fact, she didn’t know where she was.

And on the swings, someone sat. Hanni chuckled, remembering how Minji mentioned she had always loved the swings.

Could… could it be?

Hanni found herself walking there, and the cosmos must have been with her. She sat on the empty swing, and the shackle of the chains caught her attention.

“You like to take night walks to clear your mind, too?” Hanni asked.

“Hanni.” Minji straightened her back. “How…”

“I had no idea. I promise I’m not stalking you.”

That ripped a smile from Minji. “I believe you. And yes, I take walks at night to, well, try and clear my mind.”

Hanni gripped the chains and swung without lifting her feet from the sand. “Can’t do it tonight?”

“Rarely works, to be honest. But I love being outside at night. It’s quiet, peaceful. Silent.”

Hanni looked her way, and let herself stare. The more she knew Minji, the more she wanted to find out. A true snowball effect.

“Hanni, I’m sorry about today.” Minji refused to meet her gaze. “That was ridiculous.”

“What exactly happened? Did I do something wrong? Did I act like a-“

“You didn’t do anything. It was not about you.”

“Then… what was it?”

Minji sighed, shrugged, shook her head.

“You can talk to me, Minji. Are you holding stuff to yourself again? You know you don’t have to.”

A silence dragged. Hanni’s heart drummed in her ears.

“Did I ever tell you why I started playing the drums?” Minji said after a good while.

“No. But I’m all ears.”

After another silence, shorter this time, Minji spoke. “I mentioned my brother, right? Taehyung. He’s older, a good eight years older than me. He’s the whole reason why I play the drums. Why I dedicate my whole self to it.”

“Does he also play?”

She nodded. “He started playing when I was three. I kid you not, I still remember the first time he shoved the drumsticks in my hands. I gripped them hard and hit around. But then I tried in his first drum set, and… I don’t know, it just resonated with me.” She smiled, probably recalling the memory. “I decided I wanted to try it as well, to actually play. So I started attending classes when I was six. I’ve always loved it, and never stopped playing, but neither did he. We’re lucky because our parents never demanded us to go to medical school or anything, we were free to do what we wanted and loved. When we got older, he got himself a band and even performed around, because well, he is ing amazing, and I wanted the same. I wanted to be as good as him, play seriously with other people, and perform. So I also got into a band. Well, several over the years.”

Minji paused.

“Did it go well?” Hanni asked.

“I mean… the first one was in middle school, and it didn’t go any further. Then another in the first year of high school, but the others weren’t as invested as I was. But the thing is… even with the one I formed in the second year, which lasted the longest, the issue persisted.” She paused again. “No matter where I was, no matter who I played with or to whom… I was always Taehyung’s sister. Not Kim Minji, not a drummer. Just… Taehyung’s little sister.”

Hanni stared at her. At how Minji gripped the chains that held the swing, at the straight line for her lips.

“No matter how hard I worked, how much I tried to be good, I couldn’t get rid of that title. And I know I’m good. But I’m never good enough for my skills to be recognized. I know it’s not his fault, but this feeling went out for so long that at some point I didn’t want to perform anymore. At least back there. There was even this time…” Minji chuckled, almost a scoff. “My band won a band competition. And you know the headline for the news article posted on the website that was organizing the event? Taehyung’s younger sister’s band won the competition. Bro, not even our name?”

“Minji…” Hanni reached for her hand, resting hers on top. “You are the best drummer I’ve seen playing. I don’t know anyone else who loves it as much as you do. And I can’t possibly know how that feels because I come from a different setting, but… I can imagine it feels awful. Like your hard work doesn’t mean anything, so why are you even working so hard?”

Minji met her gaze, lips apart. “Exactly. It’s exactly that. Why was I even trying? For people to not even know my name, or my band’s? It was even damaging our name. And that’s why I left. I needed to be somewhere new, where people don’t know me or my brother. Somewhere where people will notice me for my skills, and not for the fact that I’m my brother’s sister.”

“And you found that here.”

Minji sighed and dropped her gaze to the ground again. “Not… exactly. I thought I would, but… no matter how much others praise my work, my skills, it still… I don’t know, it feels like there’s something still missing. I may joke around saying I’m the best, because factually maybe I am the best drummer in my class, and I guess that’s what I wanted, to be the best, like my brother. But then, why doesn’t it feel nice at all? Why does it feel like I’m still never that good? Maybe I’m not as good as I think I am, and maybe that’s why people never acknowledged it. Maybe I really am just Taehyung’s little sister, and will never be Kim Minji, the drummer.”

You’re not good enough. How could you ever be?

That hit home in a way Hanni couldn’t put in words.

Hanni jumped from the swing and stood in front of Minji. Cupping her cheeks, Hanni looked her straight in the eyes. “You are good. You are amazing, Minji. Your brother doesn’t define you or your skills. You are you, you are Kim Minji, and even if you’re not the best drummer ever, because you don’t need to, you’re still the best for me. And I will say this how many times it’s needed for it to get ingrained in this head of yours”

The faint light from the lamppost shone on Minji’s eyes. They gleamed more with each passing second, and when Minji’s lower lip started trembling and her eyebrows drawing together, Hanni pulled her closer. Just like the night of the party, Minji cried in Hanni’s embrace, in her chest this time, her arms around Hanni’s torso and gripping her jacket. Hanni rubbed her back and caressed her hair.

How much more pain was Minji hiding behind that cool mask she put on every day?

They stood like that for who knows how long. Minji had calmed down, but didn’t let go. And neither did Hanni. Why would she, when she felt so… warm? So comfortable, so right. And she did say she wanted to hug Minji…

“Feeling better?” Hanni mumbled.

Minji hummed and pulled away. “I can’t believe I cried again. Without alcohol this time!”

“I guess I’m that close to you.” Hanni giggled.

“You are.” Minji’s serious tone shut Hanni. “You’re the only one I can talk to like this.”

“You have your sister.”

“I know. And I’ve been talking to her more often after what you told me. I talk to her every day now, and video call, too.” Minji smiled. “But… it’s not the same. It’s not like she doesn’t get it, she does, and she knows how I feel and the reason why I came here. But having someone here to talk to feels different. Talking to you feels different.”

Hanni’s hands were still around her shoulders. Looking down at Minji, at her delicate yet fierce features, her still teary eyes, her pouty lips, made something stir inside her.

“I-I’m glad, Minji. You should do more talking, you know.”

Minji shrugged. “I ended up dropping this on you when I just wanted to apologize about today. Because, and all of this to say, what happened today was simply the fact that I’m incapable of accepting that someone is better than me at something. Or that I can’t do something on my own. I know you wanted to help me when I was the one asking to learn. I’m really sorry, Hanni.”

Hanni shook her head. “It’s fine. I understand now. I’m also sorry, I guess I triggered that.”

“No, it wasn’t your fault. My day wasn’t that good, and I ended up taking it on you. And I also missed practice.” Minji seemed like she was about to cry again. “I was so excited about it, to play with you guys, to finally listen to you play something for real, and I just… I need to apologize to Dani. And you, and Haerin. I promise I’ll be there next time and I’ll make it up for you.”

Hanni smiled, tucking a piece of her behind her ear. “I told them something came up and you had to leave, but you were sorry. It was still productive, Haerin is amazing and she came up with a really cool bass line. Dani was so ing happy and excited.”

“That’s great. I’ll also do something super cool for the drums, you’ll see.”

“Of course you will. You’re the best, Minji.”

Minji’s shy smile was so adorable it was making Hanni want to cry.

“Thank you, Hanni. And you were right, talking is nice. I should talk more, even if it’s uncomfortable. I always end up feeling better when I talk to you.”

There it was. The weird buzzing in Hanni’s ears, the tightness in her chest as if all the air had been pulled from her lungs and she would drown.

“I’m here to listen to you, Minji. But now let’s go back, it’s getting cold.”

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Minji s an arm around her shoulders as they made their way back, her hand rubbing Hanni’s arm up and down.

“Better?” Minji asked.

Hanni couldn’t answer, humming instead.

“I love night walks,” Minji said. “Let’s also do more of these.”

Hanni wanted to ask why. A lot of whys, actually. Why did Minji trust her enough to tell her all these things, why was Minji so touchy, why did she want to spend time with her?

When did they get so close?

Did that matter, though? When, or how or why? Sometimes people just click. Like her and Danielle. But somehow, it felt different with Minji. There was something there that Hanni couldn’t name yet.

“Yes. Let’s do more of these. And you know what I also love? Night drives. I wish I could go on one.”

“Oh, same. Hope we can go on one, someday.”

They stepped inside the dorm building, and a sudden image of Minji driving a car with Hanni in the passenger’s seat made her clear . “W-Well, see you tomorrow, then.”

“Let me walk you to your door.”

Hanni didn’t fight back. She led the way through the silence of the corridors and up the stairs. Stopping in front of her door, she turned to face Minji.

“Good, now I know which room it is,” Minji said.

“You walked me here just to know which was my room?” Hanni frowned.

Minji’s next smile was one Hanni had never seen. A silly one, almost a smirk. Definitely teasing. “Maybe? Now I can come ring your bell whenever I want to.”

“Kim Minji!” Hanni slapped her arm. “Don’t you dare! Don’t forget I share the room with Dani!”

“I’ll make sure she’s not there so I can only bother you.”

Hanni slapped her again and again, and Minji turned into a giggling fit, but the second she patted the top of Hanni’s head, she froze.

“Tiny angry but cute rabbit.”

“I’m not!”

Hanni was about to slap her again, but Minji was faster to pull her into another hug. Hanni tensed up, her every single muscle becoming so riding she couldn’t even hug her back.

“Thank you, Hanni. For real.”

Melting away with how deep and soothing Minji’s voice sounded so close to her ear, Hanni closed her eyes and hid her face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her perfume.

“Oh? Who’s-“

Hanni pulled away at the sound of Danielle’s voice echoing in the corridor, but it was a bigger surprise that Haerin was by her side, holding her hand.

“Hanni!” Danielle rushed to them, pulling Haerin with her. “Hey, guys! What you doing here, Minji?”

“What are you doing here, Haerin?” Minji irked an eyebrow at her, eyes down at their hands still clasped together.

“Walking Dani to her room,” Haerin simply answered.

“Well, same.” Minji pointed at Hanni.

“Awn, so cute! We’re all so adorable.” Danielle’s eyes sparkled, her constant smile on as she looked around at them. “I love you guys. I’m so glad we got to meet!”

Minji irked an eyebrow. “Did she drink?”

“What, no!” Danielle gasped. “It’s Monday!”

“You did go out with the others,” Hanni added.

“She had one beer,” Haerin said. “But I think she’s a light drinker.”

“You were there too?” Minji’s frown deepened. “You went out at night?!”

Haerin’s face went red in a second. “Dani called me. I didn’t have anything else to do, anyway.”

“On a Monday night? What about your precious books? And your eight hour sleep? What did you do to her, Mo Dani?”

“Let’s go, it’s late.” Haerin let go of Danielle and grasped Minji’s arm instead, walking away.

“See you guys tomorrow! Rest well!” Danielle waved her hand until they disappeared at the next corner and spun on her heels, holding onto Hanni’s arms in a way that startled her. “I’m done for.”

“What?”

Danielle rushed to take her card from her purse and opened the door to their room, pulling Hanni with her. Hanni stood in the middle of the room, staring at the pacing Danielle, waiting for an explanation.

“What happened? You’re scaring me.”

“I tried not to, okay? I swear I tried!” Danielle took a hand to her head.

“What? You tried not to what?”

“I tried not to crush on Haerin, but I couldn’t! I mean, how could I not crush on her?! She’s… she’s the cutest ever, Hanni. I’m so ed.”

Hanni blinked. “Kang Haerin?!”

“Of course Kang Haerin, who else?!”

“You’ve known her for like a week!”

“And? More than enough time to crush on someone!”

“How do you even know it’s a crush? Maybe she’s just cute in your eyes. I mean, it’s a fact that she’s cute.”

“Yes, she is objectively and undeniably cute. She has the prettiest eyes ever, and when she smiles! Oh, Hanni… Her smile is the most precious thing in this world. And her little dimples and cat teefs-”

“Cat what?”

“The fangs! You know, they’re long and pointy and so cute because it only makes her look more like a cat! And even her perky ears and her voice, and how she is normally quiet but when it’s something she likes, she will talk nonstop! And she loves cats! And frogs! I mean, frog things, like plushies and such. Have you seen the little froggy keyring she has on her backpack? Adorable, man. But then, when she plays the bass? Wow, she becomes so cool?”

“Dani, okay, I get it.” Hanni got the fangs part, Minji had them too, and they were very… appealing.

Danielle cleared . “So, as you can see, I know when it’s a crush. And this is one.”

“I didn’t even know you like girls.”

“Duh? Of course I do!” Danielle chuckled with a light frown. “Don’t you?”

“Uh… n-no?”

Danielle squinted at her, a single eyebrow raised. “Why was that a question, then?” Her expression softened, a pout instead. “Oh, no, Hanni. Don’t you tell me I’m gonna make you question your whole existence with my question. I just… well, I see you and Minji and I kinda assumed. Sorry, my bad.”

“M-Minji?” Hanni gulped. “She’s a friend.”

Danielle snorted. “They seem to be very good friends… Anyway, back to Haerin! I don’t know what to do! It has indeed only been a week, I can’t go and tell her. She’s still shy, even though I think I can say she warmed up to me? I mean, we spend a lot of time talking. And did you see Minji’s reaction to the fact that she went out? She normally doesn’t, at all! But I called her, and she said yes. Does it mean anything?”

Hanni blinked. “Maybe? Putting it like that, maybe it does. But at the same time, I don’t really know Haerin that much. Not like you, at least.”

“You were there during practice today! Did you notice anything?”

“I was too focused on the song. And I think she was too.”

Danielle pouted, dropping to her bed. “Anyway, was Minji feeling better? From whatever happened earlier.”

“Yeah. We met by chance, I was taking a night walk and found her at a playground nearby.”

“Cute. The hug was cute, too.”

“Danielle Marsh.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Danielle giggled. “So, is there any boy who caught your attention? I saw you with Chan during the party. And he seemed quite interested when I was telling him about you.”

“I mean, sure, he’s cute and nice and all, but… I’m not interested, no. He’s a classmate, that’s all.”

“No one else?”

Hanni gathered the necessary things for a much needed shower before bed and wondered about Danielle’s question.

“No one at all,” she finally answered as she walked to the bathroom.

And just like the night at the party, when she had the same convo with Minji, the same feeling was there.

It felt like a lie.

“Oh, and Hanni! Please don’t mention this to Minji. She’s Haerin’s roommate, after all.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Hanni said before closing the bathroom door after her.

---

A/N - heheehHEHEHEHEHEHEEH sorry this chapter gets me all giddy 

a few things so, 1 - yes, a little sad backstory, do I ever write a story without one? 2 - I LOVE wave to earth, expect more references, and I totally recommend you listen to the songs, they're amazing! 3 - yes I subscibe to the Minji Taehyung siblings agenda, they ARE SIBLINGS and that's final. 4 - I giggle with the 'they seem to be very good friends' meme every freaking time ahahauifbsduigvdfguhsdf

thank you for the comments and I reaaaaaally hope you're enjoying so far!!!

Twitter - @itzloonatic
CuriousCat - curiouscat.me/itzloonatic