“Kibum, you should go home.” Jonghyun sit next to me in the room. 

 

“I want to stay by her side Jonghyun hyung. You of all people should understand that.” I replied weakly. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to keep my eyes of you.

 

“I know. But you’ve been here for a long now. You never once went back home. You never visited your babies. What kind of father are you? What will EunAe think if she knows you didn’t visit them?.”

 

“Shut up Jonghyun. You are not the one that should be advising me.” I spat, not caring to call him hyung.

 

“Shouldn’t I? You have done nothing Kibum. You sit here lifelessly and do nothing. Nothing at all.” Jonghyun said while facing me.

 

“Nothing?!” my voice increase a pitch. “Nothing you said?! I’ve been here since she’s been unconscious. I accompany her! I stay by her side! That is not nothing!” I yelled furiously. How dare he, said something like that. How dare him.

 

“That’s my point Kibum. That’s the only thing you did. You ignored everybody else. You ignored your friends. You ignored your family. And the worst part is you ignored your children. They are still alive Kibum. But you act like they never exist in this world. Heck, you don’t even name them.” Jonghyun hold my shoulder tightly while looking deeply into my eyes. 

 

“Go home Kibum. Go home and rest. Go get yourselves a good sleep.” He let go of my shoulder and turn to look at you. “We’ll take care of EunAe for now. Me, Onew hyung, Minho and Taemin. We’ll be here taking turns to watch her.”

 

“Hyung….” I plead I really don’t want to leave you alone.

 

“Go home Kibum. We’ll call you if anything happens. Don’t worry.” He assured me. “Minho will be taking you home. You didn’t have your car with you right?” I shook my head lightly. The car is still at my house.

 

“Ok, now go. Minho is already waiting for you outside.” I nod weakly, dragging my feet towards Minho.

 

“Let’s go Kibum.” And we both walk side by side towards the car.

 

 

 

I settle myself at the passenger seat while Minho drives beside me. The drive to the house is quiet. Not that I complained. I need this silence. And Minho knows that. I close my eyes, tired of the current situation.

 

 

 

“Kibum, we are here.” Minho speaks after a while. I open my eyes, and step out of the car.

 

“Thank you for sending me Minho.” I said, forcing a smile.

 

“Don’t mention it. You sure you are fine alone? I can accompany you if you want to.”

 

“It’s okay. I need some time alone anyway.” And with a slight force, I closed the door. I waved him goodbye before turning towards my house.

 

 

 

I walked slowly towards it, standing in front of the door, hesitates to enter the house. Images of you bleeding flashes right in front of my eyes.

 

 

I sighed loudly. I really need to go through this, and slowly I turn the door knob. Vanilla scent quickly conquers my sense of smell. Your smell still lingers around here. Must be the air freshener that you insist on putting at basically every part of the house. 

 

 

I smile a bit. You and your stubborn head of yours. I always said that the vanilla scent is too strong. Placing it in the living room is enough, no need to place them all around the house. But you never listen.

 

 

I walk slowly inside the house, immersed in your scent. Tears start to pool in my eyes. Before it ever reaches my cheeks, I wipe them away. I need to be strong.

 

 

I climbed the stairs heading towards out bedroom. I open the door slowly, taking a deep breath expecting your pool of dry blood still be there. But the floor is clean, not a single trace of blood can be found anywhere. Someone might have cleaned them up. The guys probably. 

 

 

I think I need to take a bath. I can’t remember the last time I clean myself up. I sighed deeply. My life has been unorganised lately. I grab my towel and step into the shower.

 

 

The water rushes onto me, hitting at every inch of my body. The sound of water pouring out somehow calms me. All the worries disappear. For a moment, I forget everything that ever happens to us.

 

 

I close my eyes, enjoying the cold water. This adds to one more things that differentiate between me and you. You love soaking yourself with bubbles and adding a few drops of vanilla essence to your bath. Sometimes you can stay in it for a few hours without getting out. I always worry somehow you’ll end up drowning in your tub full of bubbles. Meanwhile, I love the simplicity of the shower tab. Nothing fancy, just water gushing out onto me. We always take a shower together. You in the bathtub while I stand here and you’ll stare at me and giggle naughtily. 

 

 

 

I open my eyes, looking at the empty bathroom. There’s no laughter, no giggles. There are no you. I fall onto the floor, sobbing, wishing you were here. All our memories together flash me by, and I sat there, crying for hours and hours.

 

 

I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. That long shower that I took just now drains my energy. My eyelids are getting heavier and heavier. After a moment, I fall into a deep sleep.

 

 

I woke up with a bright light shone on me. Aish, for how long have I been sleeping. I rub my eyes tiredly. I blink a few times, trying to lessen the effect of the light that is stinging my eyes.

 

 

I saw a silhouette not far away, walking towards me. I blink a few times, not sure if this is a part of my imagination or not.

 

“EunAe…..” I whisper as you stand in front of me, smiling.

 

 

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what do you guys think about this chapter?

personally, i think this chap :(

 

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