“Amethyst!” I greeted as soon as we got inside Mrs. Yun’s café.

Miss Kim and I have been visiting Amethyst and Mrs. Yun to check on them. And because I miss Amethyst too. Mrs. Yun is also a good friend of Miss Kim. Last week, I helped Mrs. Yun around and took Amethyst to a walk while Miss Kim stayed to drink and sometimes help Mrs. Yun.

Today, we just dropped by at their place on our way to finally have our picnic date near the Han River. Even though I am excited, I’m also worried.

This will be the first time that we’ll be out in public together. As girlfriends. Miss Kim has openly confessed how clingy she can get and I like it. I don’t mind if we’re at each other’s place, at the shelter or even in the office. I do get shy if others are watching us but these are people we know.

It’s unlike being surrounded by strangers.

I don’t mind holding her hand. Anyone can hold hands.

But it’s the scrutiny from the pairs of eyes going my way that bothers me.

I dated before. We hold hands too. But even sharing a quick kiss to part ways is considered a big deal in a conservative country like Korea.

It’s even a bigger deal if two women are cuddly and sweet. Romantically speaking. How much more if they see us kissing?

The squeeze on my hand pulled me out of my thoughts.

Miss Kim stared at me with worry and concern in her eyes. “Something wrong, babe?”

I grinned and denied with a shake of my head.

She raised an eyebrow and gave me a pointed look. “Say it. Are you not feeling well? We can head back if you want to”

I glanced at the pull cart that she’s dragging behind us. We already rented a foldable tent, some mats, chairs, and a table. I got our snacks and drinks with me. We’re fully equipped for this picnic.

“But we already got food. We rented the tent too”

“We can ask for a refund. We’re not that far off from the shop yet”

I sighed heavily and shook my head again. “No, it’s fine, unnie”

“Are you sick?”

“No”

“Ah… something’s bothering you then. I already told you about that, right? You can tell me anything.” She smiled patiently. She always encourages me to speak up if something’s bothering me because she always worries.

“It’s just that…” I sighed again, lips pouting out of habit. “This will be the first time we’ll have a date in public”

She chuckled, amused. She even lifted my hand to her lips to kiss it, causing me to hold my breath. “We’ve had dates before. Lots of them”

I looked around us and was relieved that everyone else was busy heading to where they wanted to go. I turned to Miss Kim again and there she was with her heart-fluttering smile, patiently waiting for me to explain.

“We weren’t together back then…”

“And?” she coaxed.

“I’m uncomfortable”

She immediately stopped walking to stare at me, studying.

In panic, I shook my head, trying to stop her train of thoughts. “I said it wrong. Let me explain” I nervously rambled.

“Go on”

I gulped hard, feeling suddenly nervous. “It’s just that people might stare, unnie. I don’t mind going out with you but this is new to me”

“Didn’t you say that you dated before?”

“With a guy, yes. Even then, we were judged for being too… for acting like a couple”

Her eyebrows went up, silently asking for clarification.

“I don’t mind holding hands. I like it. But… everything else—”

“Touching, hugging, kissing?” she elaborated on it for me.

I nodded. “It’s scrutinized. Looked over”

“I don’t care about them, Whee. And I honestly don’t think we should. I mean, in America, we can make out and nobody cares”

“But we’re in a conservative country now…” I said, pouting because she looked so adamant. It’s a losing battle on my end, really.

Her eyebrows flinched before they relaxed. She stared some more, thinking.

She doesn’t like it. I can read it from the expression on her face and the way her eyebrows moved.

I held the bag of food a little harder, wanting to hold onto something as I was feeling nervous.

“Do you suggest we shouldn’t act as a couple in public then?”

“I mean… I didn’t mean that… Just maybe not too much”

She shook her head. “No” she said firmly and I could only sigh. “Baby, listen,” she bent down a little to be eye-to-eye with me, “I think it’s not anybody’s business what we are, what we do, how we act. I love you and I’m going to shower you with affection whether they like it or not”

The last one made me blush. She does that so easily.

“If you are uncomfortable with it, I understand and I’ll try not to be too clingy for your sake only. But please don’t tell me to stop because that will not happen. Do you understand?”

I nodded.

She’s intimidating.

It’s scary.

But also so y of her too.

“Okay.” She kissed my forehead as if to prove her words earlier. “Let’s keep going. I’m kinda hungry already”

“Sorry…” I shyly mumbled beside her as we kept going.

She laughed wholeheartedly, which surprised me since she was so serious earlier. “Nothing to be sorry about. I’m thankful you trust me with your worries, darling. If I get too much, just tell me, okay?”

“I will. Thank you, unnie”

It was a relief. I’m still slightly nervous but it really does feel better after telling her.

We headed to Hangang Park and looked for a good spot to unfold our tent. We set up somewhere on flat grassy ground under the shade of the trees. There were foldable chairs but we opted to sit on the blanket and eat.

Like on any of our dates, after eating, Miss Kim would grab her Kindle to read while I’d pick up my sketchbook and pencil. She’ll read and I’ll draw and it’s calm and peaceful.

“Are you done with your drawing?” she asked.

“No… Why?” I asked before looking up from my sketchbook.

She shook her head before leaning forward to kiss my cheek. “I’ll take a quick nap first. Wake me up if you want to go already”

“We can head now if you want”

She shook her head again while heading inside the tent. “Finish that. I’ll take some rest”

With the additional installments for the Bae project and upcoming two more projects, she has been busy checking the systems and working closely with the programmers. We have the easiest task in the company. The pressure lies on them, especially on Miss Kim since she’s the head programmer. I suggested we just stay in today but she insisted on finally taking me out on a picnic date.

The park is cool with the tall trees and the river close by. But to make sure she’s comfortable I left the tent open and pointed the handheld fan towards her direction.

She was fast asleep.

I went back to my sketchbook and continued drawing.

It was quiet for a while until a familiar voice called my name.

“Wheein-ah!”

Mino-oppa was walking towards me while waving so big at me.

I kept my laugh a little low so I wouldn’t wake up Miss Kim. When he was close, I asked, “Mino-oppa, what are you doing here?”

“I did a commission here.” Wordlessly, he joined me on the blanket. He pointed somewhere where he walked from. “I did a painting of the Han River while they were fishing. I just finished. Are you here by yourself?”

I shook my head and pointed at Miss Kim’s sleeping figure in the tent. “I’m here with Yongsun-unnie. She’s a little tired from work”

“You took her out on a date?”

I shook my head again and chuckled under my breath to cover my blush. “No. She wanted to take me out on a picnic date”

He noticed my open sketchbook and wanted to see my unfinished drawing. It was a drawing of our silhouettes by the Han River. We talked about his work and other commissions lined up and my current work and my lack of commissioned works.

The most recent one I did was at the preschool with Mino-oppa, Seulgi-unnie, and Naeun-unnie. And that was a long time ago already.

“I remember,” Mino-oppa snickered, “I used to bring you here too”

I stared at him while trying to figure out what he meant. It took a little while but I understood what he said.

“Back when we were together?”

“Yeah!”

I playfully smack his arm, making him laugh. “That was a long time ago, oppa. We’re over that”

“We used to compare sketches too until it became a competition”

“I remember that…”

He smirked teasingly. “You know I let you win because I was just being a gentleman, right?”

“Yah! I win fair and square”

He reached over to ruffle my hair, earning pout and whines from me. “I let you win because you whine all the time. And you always use that cute pout of yours. You’re irresistible when you want to be, Wheein-ah”

I pushed his hand away and blew him a raspberry. He only laughed and I joined him later on.

Fun times…

“Funny how time moves so fast now” he whispered with a sigh, eyes looking somewhere distant.

My eyes followed over the Han River. “Yeah… It does”

A groan and a loud yawn behind me caught my attention. As I turned around, Miss Kim was already crawling out of the tent, squinting from the light. She sat close to me, closer than before, while placing her arms around my waist. She pulled me until my back hit her front.

“Unnie…” I quietly complained.

My attention was torn between my closeness with Miss Kim and the strangers around us. Even Mino-oppa was surprised at the display of affection.

Miss Kim snuggled her nose on my cheek down to my neck. She placed soft kisses on the path she made on my skin while I grew stiff and uncomfortable.

We’re getting more and more stares from the people walking by and even from the neighboring tents and blankets. I’m torn between hiding and pushing Miss Kim away.

It was easier to stop Miss Kim.

“Unnie, they’re staring”

“I don’t care,” she whispered. She bit my neck before easing it with a kiss while I bit back a moan. “Let them stare”

“Unnie… I’m not comfortable” I softly whined, gently pulling away from her.

It stopped her but when our eyes met, I immediately felt bad for pushing her.

Her face is passive but it’s her brown eyes that tell me she’s hurt. And she doesn’t get upset so easily so seeing her like this makes me feel wretched.

I reached to cup her cheek to apologize but she leaned away. I’ve never felt so dejected and it’s all my fault.

She slowly pulled away, glancing at Mino-oppa to give him a nod. “Mino”

“Yongsun-noona” Mino-oppa acknowledged back.

She gave me a quick glance but she only barely looked at me. “I’ll just get back to my nap. Tell me if you want to go already”

I grabbed her arm to stop her but she brushed it away. “Yongsunnie…” I called but it fell on deaf ears.

This time, she fully closed the tent, concealing herself from us.

I could only pout at the tent while trying to hold back my tears from falling.

“Yah… Wheein-ah, talk to her” Mino-oppa whispered.

I pouted at him before looking away to blink back my tears. “But I don’t know how… She’s upset”

Oppa looked at me as if I've grown a second nose. “Obviously… Why did you even push her away?”

“I… A lot of people are staring”

“And they always do whether you like it or not, Wheein-ah. They’re not important so don’t pay them any attention”

I sniffed, trying to ease the building pressure between my eyes. “Was that why we broke up?”

“What!? No! We’re better off as friends.” He was one second away from smacking me. “We’ve talked about it. And besides, we’re both insecure. Yongsun-unnie is confident and assertive. Don’t make her insecure just because you mind the others more than her”

I covered my face with both of my hands and groaned inwardly at messing things up.

It’s just that I was never confident. I try to boost myself with confidence by being positive but sometimes, it’s not enough. I’m still shy and timid at unfamiliar things. I still worry about uncertainties.

“I’ll leave you to it, Wheein-ah”

He patted my shoulder while I begged for him to stay and tell me what to do through my eyes and my pout.

“Just remember to not do anything you’ll regret, okay? I’ll see you around”

With an encouraging nod, he left me to solve my own problems.

I pouted at his retreating back before glancing over the tent. I sighed heavily and thought of ways to apologize to Miss Kim.

She’s clearly upset that I pushed her away. But there should be an underlying reason why she was suddenly clingy when earlier, when we were having our lunch, we shared subtle affections only. She did promise to adjust for me in the meantime but the change was so drastic when she woke up from the nap.

I don’t know that yet but I think the best way to apologize is to be affectionate to her. To be confident in what we have, what we are, and what we feel towards each other.

I breathed deeply several times. I mentally conditioned myself to ignore everyone else and focus on Miss Kim. She is, after all, my priority.

I slowly ped the tent and found Miss Kim reading on her Kindle.

“Yongsun-unnie” I called but she only ignored me.

Okay…

I leaned my elbows on either side of her head. “Unnie, do you know Spiderman?” I asked and smiled when the question caught her attention.

She eyed me curiously as I laid my body on the blanket with my face aligned with hers.

“Do you know Spiderman, unnie?” I asked again.

“No,” she whispered.

“What!? You don’t know him?”

“No,” she said again, eyebrows rising.

She’s entertained! Another tiny achievement.

“He shoots webs and swings on buildings. Like this! Pssh! Pssh!” I leaned on my knees first and then mimicked the superhero shooting webs. “You must know him. He’s from your country!”

I only got a blank expression from her and a tiny smile!

“Where are you going with this?” she asked.

“Well… Other than shooting webs, Spiderman also did one thing. Do you want to know what?”

“What?” Her smile is getting wider, intrigued.

“This”

I was back on leaning on my elbows again. Slowly, I leaned my face closer to hers with our lips aligned.

I was met with softness. It was such a chaste kiss with our lips just touching. I focused on her warm breath and how she held my face in position, afraid that I’ll pull away. I was still a little conscious of what others might think but I didn’t let that thought cloud my mind.

I am determined to ease the hurt I caused on her.

She deepened the kiss, capturing my bottom lip. I did the same too. At the swipe of her tongue, I gently pulled back, chuckling under my breath.

“I’m still a little conscious, unnie. I’m sorry”

She shook her head, brushing my apology. Then she patted the empty space beside her before pulling me by my arms. “Come here”

I crawled inside the tent and laid beside her. Our limbs harmoniously tangled against each other with nothing left between us.

“I’m sorry” I said right away the moment we were settled. “I shouldn’t push you that harshly but I was honestly uncomfortable, unnie. I hope you give me time to get used to us out in public. I really don’t mind you being clingy. I actually love it a lot but I’m quite insecure that sometimes I can’t fight it off”

“I’m sorry too. I promised to take it easy for you but I…” She sighed hea