Longing

Stars In The Sky: You Give Me Heart Eyes
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Jimin’s heavy breaths create smoke out of her parted lips in a huff. She looks down at the soccer ball a few feet in front of her, then back up towards the net. Three more deep breaths, her body leans forward until her feet run towards the ball, kicking it skillfully into the top right corner of the net. 

 

Unsatisfied, she cracks her neck. 

 

Turning on her heel, she takes four wide steps back to her starting point, focusing her eyes on the next soccer ball. 

 

“Come on, Jimin.” 

 

The next ball bounces off of the crossbar. 

 

“.” Jimin curses, her voice echoing around the field. 

 

The sun still hasn’t risen, so she wasn’t too worried about being a disturbance to anyone. 

 

Jimin looks down at the last ball in front of the goal. Her confidence was nowhere to be found. Shoulders rise and fall with every deep breath she inhales and exhales, a fire burning up inside of her. Anger? Disappointment? She picks the ball up from the floor, tossing it up in the air and kicking it as hard as she could across the field. 

 

Her feet start to move, jogging towards the end of the fields for her morning run. That’ll surely clear her head. 

 

Jimin felt off today. Like nothing was going the way she wanted, and that it was going to be like that for a very long time. It was frustrating. 

 

What was it? 

 

Was it the way she started her morning? Did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed? 

 

Jimin clenches her teeth as her feet start to run faster, picking up her pace. A ripping scream comes from the pit of her stomach, echoing throughout the gymnasium. Jimin’s feet start to slow down, her chest feeling slightly lighter from the relief that scream gave her. 

 

“Yu Jimin!” 

 

Her ears perk up at the familiar voice. Her light jog comes to a halt and she turns around to see Minjeong waiting behind the fence that separates the field and the bleachers. 

 

Minjeong had her hands comfortably stuffed in her hoodie pocket, shoulders slightly raised as she shivered from the cold early morning air. Her hair is cuddled up beneath the hood of her jacket that sits atop her head. She looked so soft and absolutely adorable. 

 

Jimin smiles at her subtly. 

 

She looks down at her watch and checks the time. It was still early. 

 

6:10am, December 20th—

 

Oh. 

 

December 20th.

 

How could she have forgotten?

 

Has it really been three years? 

 

“Yu Jimin, I’m cold.” 

 

Her eyes blink towards Minjeong who had walked around the fence to start making her way towards Jimin. 

 

Three years. Today. 

 

Jimin’s eyes start to sting as her heart starts to feel longing. 

 

Maybe that’s why today felt weird.

 

“Hey,” Minjeong’s worried eyes become more noticeable once she was up close. “What’s wrong?” 

 

A warm hand cups Jimin’s cheek and she feels a pang at her chest that causes the ripple of ache through her whole body. Her breath hitches into a sob, and it was too late for Jimin to prevent her cries. 

 

It felt like a wave breaking through a tower of sand. 

 

Minjeong was surprised at Jimin’s sudden outburst, but she still envelopes Jimin into a tight hug. Her eyes close shut as Jimin’s cries fill her ears. 

 

It was heartbreaking. 

 

Jimin has never broken down like this before. To be fair, they’ve only been together for five months at this time, and Minjeong knows Jimin to be someone who doesn't like to be sad over trivial things. 

 

So Minjeong comforts her through sweet nothings and encouragement. She hugs Jimin with a promise to keep her safe and loved. 

 

“I miss my mom, Minjeong. I miss her so much.”  



 

_



 

To some degree, as time passes, days like these become easier for Jimin. Maybe it came with maturity. Maybe it was the familiarity with being alone for so long.

 

Nevertheless, it did become easier.

 

After her mom had passed, Jimin coped with her emotions by herself. She’d like to think her mother had taught her well in regards to understanding feelings well. Whether it’s her own, or others. 

 

It was because of how her mother raised her, Jimin didn’t lose herself in grief. 

 

That, and well… Kim Minjeong. 

 

And then Jimin had lost her too, along the way. 

 

Even then, Jimin didn’t lose herself. 

 

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t tough. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 

 

With what you do with your pain and suffering, it’s in your control. Let it be felt, but never let it destroy you. 

 

“I’m sorry, Dr. Choi, I’m not feeling my best today.” Jimin apologizes as she sniffles a little. Dr. Choi only smiles, passing her the box of Kleenex for her to use freely. 

 

“That’s quite alright, Jimin.” Dr. Choi dismisses, “I apologize for being gone for that long.” 

 

Jimin waves her hand, shaking her head. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Dr. Choi. It was a family emergency.” 

 

The psychiatrist dips her chin, smile never leaving her lips. She crosses her legs and clasps her hands at her knees. “Anything you want to share?” 

 

Jimin shrugs. “I think things are going really well with Minjeong.” 

 

“How so?” 

 

“I feel like I’ve gained her trust again. Like she feels safe with me again.” 

 

Dr. Choi’s smile softens. “That’s good to hear, Jimin.” 

 

“Not only that, but I can see so much growth in Minjeong. A lot more confidence in herself.” Jimin breaks into a foolish smile, “I’m very proud.” 

 

A small chuckle leaves Dr. Choi’s lips as she catches Jimin’s lovesick grin. “Well, that makes two of us, Jimin. I’m very proud of her as well. I hope to see this newfound confidence you speak of when I see her next.” 

 

Jimin nods. “Oh, you will see it, Dr. Choi. It’s so beautiful.” 

 

“But enough about Minjeong, Jimin. This is your session. I want to talk about you.” 

 

Blinking, Jimin’s smile relaxes until it has disappeared. “What if I don’t want to talk about me?” 

 

“Then that’s something we need to deconstruct, Jimin.” 

 

Jimin exhales. 

 

“You didn’t seem to have any trouble during our previous sessions.” Dr. Choi points out, “is there something bothering you that you would like to talk about, Jimin?” 

 

Shifting in her seat, Jimin’s elbows rest on her thighs. She shrugs, clearing . “Um… today is my mother’s death anniversary, but I don’t think that’s bothering me at all.” 

 

Dr. Choi hums. “Okay, and how does that make you feel?” 

 

Jimin looks up to meet Dr. Choi’s gaze. She thinks for a moment, shifting in her seat again and sinking into the cushioning at her back. “I don’t know.” She shrugs again, “everything that I feel when it comes to this day feels normal. I mean, it’s been more than a decade.” 

 

“Do you miss her?” 

 

Jimin sighs. “Of course. Every day.” 

 

“Do you find it difficult to talk about her with other people?” 

 

Blinking, Jimin thins her lips. 

 

“No.” She shakes her head subtly, “talking about the people I love is the easiest thing I could do that makes me happy.” 

 

“Would you like to talk about your mom, Jimin?” 

 

“Yes, I would.” 



 

_




 

Remembering her mother brought Jimin a feeling of nostalgia and longing. She doesn’t know when the feeling of grief has subsided, but then again, some days are worse than others. 

 

Today? 

 

Well, it was one of the easier days. 

 

Hands tickle her waist at the same time a gush of wind passes by. Jimin immediately smiles when a pair of hands encircle her waist, pulling her back into a comfortable warmth. 

 

“Hi,” Minjeong whispers, chin tucked where Jimin’s shoulder and neck meet. “How are you feeling?” 

 

A hum from Jimin sounds, as she leans her weight back into Minjeong. Her hands find the ones resting at her stomach, intertwining them together. 

 

“I’m not congested anymore, nor do I have a cough.” Jimin chuckles. “I think I’m good to go back to work tomorrow.” 

 

Minjeong untucks her chin to place a soft kiss under Jimin’s jaw. She shifts, turning the older woman around by the waist to face her. Her hands grip the top of the railing, trapping Jimin in her arms. 

 

“I’ve been told to deliver a message from your dearest intern.” 

 

Minjeong grins when Jimin’s face scrunches in annoyance. 

 

“Dr. Lee wants me to tell you that he is awaiting your arrival back to work diligently. Says he misses you and that Dr. Cha isn’t as fun as you.” 

 

Jimin scoffs. “Well, tell Mark he should stop kissing my .” 

 

A big frown drops onto Minjeong’s face. Clicking her tongue, a look of disapproval is thrown at Jimin. 

 

“I will not tell him that.” 

 

“Fine. I’ll tell him myself tomorrow.” 

 

Minjeong softly smacks her hip. “Be nice, Yu Jimin.” 

 

With an exaggerated groan and feigned hurt, Jimin’s face scrunches dramati

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