« You can talk to me, Jinnie. »

 

Soojin finishes her glass of wine, the second of the night. Miyeon and she are sitting on the balcony of Miyeon and Minnie’s place, a bottle of wine opened between them. Soojin loves looking at the darkness of the night slowly hugging the city, plus the view from the apartment is wonderful. There is a large garden just nearby and the singing of the wind passing through the leaves brings Soojin peace.

 

Minnie is already in bed, she understood Soojin needed some time with Miyeon. It is rare. Yet it happens when Soojin has big moments.

 

« Minnie really loves you. »

 

Miyeon nods before sipping on her wine. The atmosphere between them feels so important, she doesn’t stop the warmth in her heart at the mention of Minnie’s love for her.

 

« The other day, Soyeon and I talked. »

 

Soojin takes the bottle of wine and pours herself another glass. It is not that the words are difficult to say out loud, it is that she is apprehensive of Miyeon’s reaction. There is never any judgment coming from her, but the step to freeing her heart seems difficult right now. So the alcohol helps. A bit.

 

« We talked about our relationship. Precisely, how it ended. I always told you it was as far as we could go together, or something along those lines. »

 

Soojin drinks again. She concentrates on her breathing and the sweet taste of the wine.

 

« The truth is… Lee Sanghoon told me to do it. He said it would be a distraction to my career to be dating her. »

 

Miyeon turns her head to look at Soojin. The woman is frowning, hanging at her wine glass for dear life. The wind blows in Soojin’s hair, and for a second she closes her eyes, her face relaxes, and Miyeon sees sorrow.

 

« I listened to him. I couldn’t let go of a chance this big. It was the cinema or Soyeon. I… I chose the cinema. »

 

Soojin empties her glass and pours more wine in her glass.

 

« I loved Soyeon. I was in love with her, even when I didn’t choose her, I was still in love with her. Unnie… Does it make me a bad person if I don’t regret it? »

 

« No, it doesn’t make you a bad person, Jinnie. »

 

« Hum… I regret not telling her the truth at this time. Soyeon… Soyeon was very hurt, and I think she still is. »

 

Miyeon was here when it happened. Soojin came home to their shared apartment and suddenly said Soyeon and she had broken up. It was the moment something changed in Soojin, instead of crying about the situation, a flame started to burn in her gaze. With the years it only got stronger.

 

« I feel sorry for what I put her through. For a long time, I felt guilty, and when I saw her in my office for the first time in years, I could barely look her in the eyes. »

 

The bow she always greets Soyeon with is just her guilt talking through her actions. Soojin hoped Soyeon could see in it a sign of her regret and respect.

 

« Are you happy, unnie? »

 

Miyeon looks at Soojin in confusion. The question seems quite out of place with the conversation they are having, but Soojin is waiting for an answer, even if she isn’t saying anything.

 

« Yes. I am very happy, Jinnie. »

 

« Do I make you happy? »

 

« Having you in my life makes me really happy. »

 

Soojin smiles, but her eyes stay sad. Miyeon can feel her going miles away in her thoughts. She clears to get her attention.

 

« When we were in college, seeing you when I got home was the highlight of my day. It wasn’t always the case, but sometimes everything was going wrong. I would come home and you would be waiting for me with homemade food, and I thought bless whoever put you on my way. »

 

« Dramatic…. »

 

« When we each got our apartment, and you would drop by my place once or twice a week to share a meal, and it felt like college again, I was happy. And when you pass by my office just to give me a milk tea, I feel very happy. »

 

« I got it. »

 

« You make me happy. I hope you don’t doubt that. »

 

Soojin puts down her glass of wine, stands up, and walks toward the railing. She turns around to look at Miyeon. The wind keeps blowing her hair in her face, and she groans before finding a way to keep them out of her face.

 

« I kept avoiding Soyeon’s eyes because of how sad they were. But then… I looked a bit closer at everyone around me, and all I could see were sad eyes. Yuqi thinks no one knows, but I feel how she clings to me when I hug her. Remy thinks I will eventually leave him behind. And every once in a while, I have an actress who breaks down, and I spend the night comforting her. »

 

Soojin bites her cherry lips, even in the dark of the night, they stay red.

 

« I kept wondering if I was not making everyone around me miserable. »

 

« It is not you, Jinnie. »

 

« I know. Don’t worry, unnie. »

 

Miyeon wishes to stand up and hug Soojin. But Soojin walks inside and passes out on the couch. Miyeon puts a cover on her, she caresses her hair before leaving a kiss on her forehead. Too much alcohol makes the agent sleepy.

 

---

 

« Hum. »

 

Soojin is sitting in front of the big mirror in her room. It has been a few minutes already of personal inspection. She doesn’t do it often, only when she is going through major moments in her life does she feel the need to check who she is.

 

It usually starts with an examination of her face, her forehead, her two brown eyes, her mole under her left eye, her small nose, her cherry lips, and her round face. Then she goes down to her hands and she longly looks at them, she runs them in her hair, before standing up and dusting off her pants.

 

The worst part is the next one.

 

Responding to the question “why am I doing all of that?” At first, it wasn’t evident, there were thousands of answers, and she felt like she was walking too many paths at the same time. Eventually, her goal became clearer, and now she knows what she is doing and why.

 

Often, she ignores the quiet questions on the side.

 

Through the mirror, she can see herself but also the room behind her. It is clean from the lack of use. The white bed in the middle is rarely undone. And all the walls are decorated with bookshelves. Books live in her room, and a large mirror reflects their existence.

 

Most of Soojin’s apartment is lifeless. She is never home, so she doesn’t think it is a good idea to have any plants or pets. The rooms are all kept simple. With basic design, and books to decorate the empty walls. In her living room, there is a huge canvas, with Hyacinths painted, one of them is purple and immediately catches your gaze.

 

They aren’t Soojin’s favorite flowers, but they hold their importance in her eyes. Soojin has never been a fan of flowers, it is Miyeon who always loved them.

 

The kitchen is the only room that knows life in the big apartment. It is always perfectly clean, but the subtle smell coming from it indicates someone has enough love inside to prepare food for others. And indeed this is the only room that has witnessed Soojin’s love.

 

---

 

« I got you iced coffee! »

 

Soojin looks at the fresh cup Shuhua just put down on her desk. She then looks up until she sees Shuhua’s face, and she stares. The actress sits down on the chair facing Soojin’s desk, she is smiling proudly at the agent.

 

Soojin leans her face in her hand, and she just looks at her.

 

During Shuhua’s audition, and also during the auditions of the other important characters, Soojin had to look at Shuhua’s shot a good hundred times. She could draw the face of the actress from memory, and yet, she still manages to fascinate her.

 

« You could say thank you. At least. »

 

Shuhua’s tone is only playful. It doesn’t seem that she noticed the weight of the stare yet. She throws her gaze around the office, only to notice nothing has changed, and as usual, Soojin is busy with paperwork.

 

« What can I do for you? »

 

« I… I… »

 

The sentence stays in the back of Shuhua’s throat. The look Soojin is giving her is destabilizing. If she talks she feels like she will ruin whatever is currently happening, and at the same time many questions are driving through her brain.

 

Shuhua has never seen anyone look at her like that before. It hurts her heart, but it also makes it beat faster.

 

Soojin doesn’t seem to realize that Shuhua never answered her question. They are looking at each other. Soojin is leaning her face in the palm of her hand while Shuhua is clenching both of her fists, trying to find a grip on reality.

 

Beautiful. Is the world which comes to Soojin’s mind when she thinks of Shuhua. This is the kind of beauty that is so pure you can only admire it. A beauty that didn’t impress Soojin, but which she recognized. It was Shuhua’s sincere acting, which touched Soojin. If given the means, her performance easily touches you right in the heart.

 

But it isn’t that which made Soojin stop on Shuhua today. It is the iced coffee.

 

« Tell me, I could make it a reality. »

 

Shuhua chuckles, and it pops the bubble. She gets closer to the desk too, her elbows resting on the surface as she leans in, closer to Soojin. Their nose are quite close, almost making them squint.

 

« There is this concert… I would like it if you would come with me. »

 

Soojin’s eyes are a deep pool of mysteries in Shuhua’s opinion. Yet they are always so warm.

 

« That is an easy wish to realize. »

 

« It is tonight. »

 

« Hum. Easy. »

 

Shuhua leans in even more, and here is the playful sparkle in Soojin’s eyes that come out at times. It seems as if a little game is unfolding, and not a single one of the two wants to back off. Soojin likes to play, if it is dangerous but the reward interest her then she will not hesitate; Shuhua doesn’t know she is playing, but she likes the thrill.

 

« I’ll pick you up. »

 

Soojin shakes her head. Disagreeing.

 

« Just give me the address, we will meet there. »

 

---

 

« Soojin! Here! »

 

Soojin looks through the crowd of people, she sees someone making their way toward her. With a cap on her head, a short-fitting dress, and a large shirt on her shoulder, Shuhua managed to see Soojin among everyone. She almost trips on Soojin but the woman catches her before the incident.

 

« Glad you made it! »

 

Soojin helps her find her balance, but the actress seems too excited to put two and two together. Her hand naturally finds Soojin, and she starts to walk toward another entrance away from the crowd which is gathering and waiting for the opening of the venue.

 

Shuhua enters the venue by another door, they walk down a corridor before finding their way near the stage. Every time they meet someone from the security, Shuhua shows them her bracelet, and they nod.

 

« I wanted to show you the venue before the start of the show. Look. »

 

Shuhua turns around, her arms wide open, and she stops in front of Soojin. Her cap blocks Soojin from seeing her face so the agent takes it off, and smiles at the stupid face Shuhua is giving her, the actress seems completely happy at this instant.

 

« The artist is a friend of mine. Her name is Jang Dahye, but maybe you know her better under the name Heize. »

 

Shuhua proceeds to explain for a good five minutes how great of an artist her friend is, and why Soojin should pay great attention to the songs. It goes on, but Soojin finds herself smiling at the sight of Shuhua.

 

They continue their exploration of the venue, going to places Soojin is almost sure they shouldn’t be going even if they have been invited by the artist, but the security always lets Shuhua pass. They greet the technical crew and even manage to meet the crew in charge of the light, and they show them a few stuff about the stages.

 

Shuhua is invested in showing Soojin everything, and the agent finds her absolutely adorable. They never let go of each other hands.

 

Eventually, they end up in the part of the venue for the public, where they can take pictures and buy merchandise before the concert. Shuhua is in the middle of buying a shirt, and a banner when someone stops her for a picture. Soojin chuckles discreetly as the face the actress made, it seems she has forgotten her status, and she gives Soojin a panicked glance.

 

« I am really sorry, but Shuhua can’t take a picture with you right now. »

 

Soojin puts the cap back on Shuhua’s head, she feels the actress grabbing her hand and squeezing it. The fans sigh disappointed, but they seem to understand. One of them still starts a conversation with Shuhua, it is a teenager and Shuhua listens closely, answering her question politely.

 

Shuhua ends up signing a few autographs, and Soojin watches as Shuhua listens closely to what is said to her. Soojin puts an end to the sudden fan meeting before more people gather around them, they are here for the concert after all.

 

« Thank you. »

 

« You have to be more careful now. »

 

« It had never happened before… »

 

« Your drama has started airing, and it is getting really good rating. »

 

« I haven’t realized… Yuqi told me to not look at the comments online. What are they saying? »

 

Shuhua suddenly seems very curious, and Soojin finds her adorable like this.

 

« Overall the drama is well welcomed. Since your character has only been briefly introduced, there aren’t a lot of comments about you. The ones I saw are rather positive, and impatient to know more about you. »

 

« Oh! Wait… You read the comments? »

 

« I am half your agent. »

 

Shuhua looks down as she feels the blush covering her cheeks. Soojin runs a hand in her hair, chasing away the hidden meaning of Shuhua’s question. There is no need to justify herself, and yet.

 

« Do you want anything to drink? »

 

After getting their drinks, they decide to finally go to their seat. Soojin checks another time that Shuhua’s cap is well put on, as they walk through the crowd. They never let go of the other hand, even when they sit down to wait for the beginning of the show.

 

Shuhua starts a new conversation, and Soojin listens. The agent finds it adorable how the woman always has something new to tell her, even if the subject can be random, she always seems heavily passionate. Soojin is comfortable with only listening, she isn’t a big talker to start with, but she appreciates when the one she loves share with her.

 

Shuhua only stops when the light dims out. She tells Soojin to stand up with her, and the actress jumps on her tiptoe as soon as the music starts. Heize’s music isn’t the kind you end up dancing hard to, but Soojin appreciates her vibe.

 

Shuhua knows every single song, she cheers with everyone and waves her banner too. Soojin has to keep her in check from falling over the railing because of her excitement. At some point, Heize breaks into a rap, and Soojin has to cover her ears as Shuhua screams her lungs out.

 

« You saw that, Soojin! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! »

 

Soojin chuckles, she joins the excitement, waving the banner in rhythm with the others. Shuhua grabs her hand to raise it above their head.

 

---

 

« Calm down. »

 

Soojin’s voice is between a laugh and a scold, and it doesn’t encourage Shuhua to calm down, she continues to jump around and grabs both of Soojin’s hands before starting to spin in a circle in the middle of the streets.

 

It isn’t even this late, and the excitement of the concert isn’t leaving Shuhua anytime soon.

 

They met with Heize backstage, Shuhua congratulated her for a good minute, they took pictures, and Soojin got introduced as the coolest agent ever. They didn’t stay long, Shuhua had even made delivered flowers before the concert, and Heize thanked her a lot.

 

Soojin thinks it is sweet of Shuhua. And… she must admit this is a really charming trait of character in her book.

 

« How did you and Jang Dahye meet? »

 

« Through a common friend. She was so nice to me even if she was such a big name already, and we kept in contact. Isn’t she such a great artist? »

 

« I agree. I really liked it. »

 

Shuhua walks them around the streets, they can reach Shuhua’s place on foot even if it would take a while.

 

« Wanna go for a drink? »

 

« Oh… »

 

« I know a place which makes amazing alcohol-free cocktails. »

 

« Let’s go here, then. »

 

Soojin gets them a taxi, and they ride together, quick in the night. The excitement of the concert is slowly going down, and when they reach the bar, Shuhua lets out a yawn.

 

« Tired? »

 

« No, no, no. Let’s go in. »

 

Soojin hesitates for a minute before getting out of the car and helping Shuhua out. The agent puts a protective arm around Shuhua’s waist; the actress is tired but she is pushing through the tiredness, just because she doesn’t want their night to end.

 

Inside the bar, the music is rather calm, a good following to the concert. Soojin orders for them both, and she asks for her drink to be charged. Shuhua has to admit, that the cocktail is one of the best she has had, and everything in the bar is so relaxing. Some people are dancing, others are talking, there is a little space outside that is decorated with colorful lights, and she asks Soojin to go there.

 

The fresh air of the night keeps Shuhua from falling asleep, but soon she feels cold and Soojin puts her arm around her shoulders to keep her closer. Shuhua sneaks an arm around Soojin’s waist, and she brings herself even closer in the embrace. Together they look at the street in front of them, it is quite animated with the usual nightlife of Seoul, the Han River isn’t far away but can’t be seen from there.

 

« Wanna go home? »

 

« Not yet. »

 

Soojin sips on her drink, for once she isn’t chucking those in a hurry. Shuhua has already finished her drink a while ago, but she didn’t feel like drinking anything else. She knows she is tired from her crazy schedule, even when she has a day off she isn’t resting; busy with her Korean classes and her acting classes. Shuhua always wants to do better and spends all the time she has finding ways to be better.

 

Her Korean is getting better every day, she can say she is fluent, and she doesn’t have any problem holding a conversation. Managing herself to this stage hasn’t been the hardest, it is after that it became hard, to understand all the subtleties of the languages, of the culture. All she wants is to be like a real Korean. Her teacher quickly understood the woman's motivation and has been kind enough to adapt her courses to the actress.

 

On the other hand, Shuhua never really took acting lessons. She has only started ever since she arrived in Korea. Yuki told her to do so, her determination was a good start but she could be better. The classes brought her natural talent to the light, and Shuhua has to admit she feels more comfortable on set. Nowadays, she takes a long lesson every few weeks. The lessons are tiring, and ask her to search deep inside herself, but they help her a lot.

 

« Everything okay? »

 

« Yep. And you? »

 

Soojin only nods, she naturally brings Shuhua’s body closer to hers, and they find themselves in a hugging position. Shuhua lets both her arms circle Soojin’s waist. She rests her head against Soojin’s shoulder and lets her nose poke her neck. Here it smells the most like Soojin. Fresh, a clean perfume mixed on a bed of flowers. Shuhua likes it a lot, she squeezes Soojin against herself.

 

« Can we go home? »

 

Soojin quickly finds a cab, and during the ride, Shuhua refuses to separate herself from the agent. She even leans her head on Soojin’s shoulder while holding into her arm. When they get to Shuhua’s place, the woman still refuses to let go of Soojin, and in her tired state, Soojin lets her do.

 

Soojin opens the door after getting the code right, the apartment is quiet. One window has been left opened and the quiet noise of the empty street downstairs can be perceived. Soojin walks Shuhua to her bed, but the woman refuses to let go of her.

 

« Come on, Shuhua. You need to sleep now, don’t make it difficult. »

 

« Sleep with me. »

 

Soojin groans, she manages to get the actress away from her arm, but Shuhua sits up in the bed and grabs Soojin’s hand. She pulls, wanting the agent to stay with her, her fingers press more firmly into the soft skin, they rise until her elbow and she pulls hard to make the agent fall on her. Shuhua then wraps her arms and legs around Soojin’s body and refuses to move despite Soojin’s complaints.

 

« Let go of me. Shuhua. Shuhua, let go of me, now. »

 

Soojin tries her best to unclasp the hands gripping her back but the actress is stubborn, and Soojin is starting to lose patience. Fortunately, the alcohol present in her system prevents her from becoming angry.

 

« Shuhua. I said. Let. Go. Of. Me. »

 

« I want you to sleep with me. »

 

« I can’t do that every time. »

 

« Just this one time. Please. »

 

« Why? »

 

Shuhua stays silent for a long minute, Soojin almost expects her not to answer her question.

 

« I like being with you. »

 

Shuhua breathes out her words quickly, but Soojin manages to understand. The agent stops fighting and lets her body rest on top of Shuhua. The actress relaxes her hold around Soojin a little. Her legs and arms are still locked around Soojin, but she isn’t putting the strength to keep the woman in the bed with her.

 

« Thank you for tonight. It was really nice. »

 

Soojin has her head resting on the bed, just a few centimeters apart from Shuhua’s. With her hand, she gently started to the woman’s hair, a natural gesture that came from the sudden urge to comfort her.

 

« It is fun to hang out with you when you aren’t on your phone. »

 

« It is only because it is work time usually. »

 

« Noted. »

 

« I listen even if I am on my phone, you know. »

 

« I prefer when you look at me when we talk. »

 

« I am. »

 

Shuhua looks up and meets with Soojin’s eyes, they are holding a playful sparkle again. Shuhua smiles back, for a second her gaze drops to the cherry lips so close to her before going back to her eyes. The gentle caress on her hair is pushing her to dreamland, but she is trying hard to keep herself awake.

 

« I won’t leave. You can sleep, now. »

 

« Promise. »

 

« I won’t promise. You will have to take my words for it. »

 

Shuhua tries to give Soojin a look but her eyelids are dropping, and soon she can’t do much but give in to the tiredness.

 

Soojin continues to caress the soft hair of the woman, she surprises herself by caressing her cheek gently. Shuhua looks adorable, her left cheek pressed against the mattress, her eyes barely closed, and her soft breathing as she falls deeper into sleep. Soojin smiles, her finger poking her nose before sliding back on her exposed cheek.

 

Eventually, she stops. She gently untangled Shuhua’s limbs from her body and rises from the bed. Gently, she puts Shuhua under the covers, but not before ping her dress so the woman has more space to move and breathe. Soojin looks longly at the actress asleep in the bed.

 

Maybe it lasts a few minutes or maybe an hour. She doesn’t know, but eventually, she stands up and walks out of the apartment. As she is about to close the door, she suddenly rushes back in and finds a spot in the bed beside Shuhua.

 

« Thank you… »

 

Shuhua murmurs it in her sleep before moving to be closer to Soojin, she puts her arm across the agent’s belly and falls deep into unconsciousness.

 

 

---

ALORS.

I have a problem with flowers. One time, I wrote a fiction set in a flower shop, and ever since I have been putting flowers in every single one of my stories. So. Here. I have a scene with flowers in my head already. Just to say. Flowers are never chosen without intentions.

You know, slow burn is too much. I had to make them close this chapter. Comfort, so much comfort. Now that I think about it, we know nothing about Shuhua's back story. I know I left ONE hint about it in another chapter, and that is about it.

Also, also. Soyeon and Soojin's arc is almost over. Nothing more will happen between the two, but for them to engage in a relationship they need to work out their common past. So.

On a personal note. My life has been chaos, that is why I take time to update. But I enjoy chaos. :) I put fourteen chapters because I refuse my story to be thirteen chapters. That is it, I have figured out nothing on the length.