Lift your head, baby, don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by with a smile
Now it's time to kiss away those tears goodbye
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                           12 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, guys! Are you good and settled, already? If you are, come and join me for lunch! You must be hungry after all that unpacking!" 

 

 

 

Hindi pa rin talaga nawawalan ng energy itong kaibigan ni Bruhilda. In fact, mas lumevel up pa ata. Samantalang ako parang lantang gulay na dito sa gilid. Sa dami ba naman kasi ng gamit na dinala nitong Bruhilda na'to. 

 

 

 

Syempre pinatulong– or more like inutasan niya akong tulungan siya sa pag-aayos ng gamit nila ng anak niya. Eh ilang bagahe din 'yun. Malapit na nga mapuno ang aparador sa room nila. At alam ko din na mas lalong madadagdagan pa 'yun dahil may balak din silang magshopping dito. Haynako. 

 

 

 

Plus, dumagdag pa ang hiya nang madatnan namin ang mga nakahandang pagkain sa lamesa na akala mo may pafiesta sa buong barangay sa dami nito. Tsaka 'yung mga nakahilerang maids sa gilid at nakabantay. 

 

 

 

"Don't be shy and take a seat! Leonardo, please assist them. Thank you!" Masiglang utos nito sa butler nila na tinanguan naman ang mga maids, kaya automatiko naman silang gumalaw mula sa mga pwesto nila at nagsipuntahan isa-isa sa'min. 

 

 

 

Sinet-up nila ang mga pingga't kutsara namin kahit na hindi naman kailangan. Napakaawkward lang dahil nakatingin lang kami ni Bing sakanila habang ginagawa nila 'yun. Hindi naman kasi kami sanay. 

 

 

 

Pero ang mas nakapagdagdag ilang sa'kin ay 'yung mga pagyuko ng maid sa gilid ko, kakaset-up. Alam niyo 'yung mga Japanese maid outfit sa anime? Parang ganun kasi 'yung suot nila. May idea ako kasi minsan na ako pinanuod ni Bing ng mga ganyan. Mahilig din kasi ito sa mga ganyang palabas.

 

 

 

Napapaiwas nalang ako ng tingin kasi naman mga teh! Bat ganun?! Medyo masikip din kasi ang damit ni ate at halatang may future talaga, malaki! Hindi tuloy maiwasang sumagi sa utak ko ang paboritong cartoon show ni Soleil, Cocomelon. Haha eme. 

 

 

 

Saktong pagbalik ko ng tingin, nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Bruhilda and I flinched as a great shiver ran down my spine when I saw how hard she glared at me, along with that raised eyebrow and pursed lips. It was really intense this time. 

 

 

 

Parang 'yung ekspresyon niya lang nung una kaming nagkakilala, nakakamatay at napakamaldita. Kaya dali-dali ko nalang iniyuko ang ulo ko at nagfocus sa mga utensils.

 

 

 

Grabe naman, para naman akong may ginawang karumaldumal na krimen sa paraan nang pagtingin niya. Hindi ko namang kasalanan na may mata ako.

 

 

 

Nang matapos na sa pagseset-up ang maid, akmang kukuhanin na sana nito ang table napkin when a hand beat her to it, si Bruhilda. Sabay pa kaming napatingin ni ate maid sakanya.

 

 

 

Ako na medyo kinakabahan samantalang si ate, confused. Ganon pa rin kasi ang ekspresyon nito. Parang may gugulpuhin nalang bigla eh.

 

 

 

"Yes, Ma'am? Is there a problem?" Inosenteng tanong ni Ate Maid sakanya at tinilt pa ang ulo. Meanwhile, I just my lips and gulped out of fear na baka may gawin siya sa babae. Sana naman wala.

 

 

 

I looked at her friend, hoping she'll help with the situation pero kinindatan lang ako nito at amused na tumingin pabalik sa namumuong eksena. I inhaled in disbelief. Magkaibigan nga talaga sila. Magkapareho ng ugali, pangit!

 

 

 

"There's none. But can you let me do the favor of putting the napkin down to my lover's lap? If you don't mind." Seryosong sagot nito kaya lumaki ang mga mata ko sabay napasinghap.

 

 

 

Gago! Ano daw? Lover?!

 

 

 

I immediately nudged her, whispering a little too loudly for her to hear. "Huy! Anong lover-lover pinagsasabi mo?! Gawa-gawa ka diyan!"

 

 

 

"Oh yeah, Asawa ko?" She gave me a look that made me gulped in fear again. So, I just silently retreated back in my seat. As it was also telling me to just stay still and do as she says or else hell will raise. Ayaw ko naman nun.

 

 

 

"I'll also serve her food."

 

 

 

"O-Oh. Uhm sure, Ma'am."

 

 

 

Kaagaran namang lumayo ang babae sa'kin samantalang napakagat nalang ako sa labi. Sa huli ay tinapunan ko ito ng tignin sabay ningitian ng may kasamang hiya't ilang, saka sorry na din. Nagtatrabaho lang naman 'yung tao eh, nasungitan pa ng Bruhilda.

 

 

 

Nagpapasalamat nalang ako dahil mukhang naiintindihan naman niya ang ipinapahiwatig ko when she returned my smile.

 

 

 

"Aray!" Napadaing ako ng may maramdaman akong kurot. Mabilis akong lumingon sa salarin.

 

 

 

"Keep your eyes on me o tutusukin ko 'yang mga mata mo." Another wave of shock ran through me. "Alam kong malaki siya but I can also compete, you know." She simply gestured at her chest kaya namula ako.

 

 

 

"H-Hindi naman kasi ganyan!" Jusko ano ba 'to! Sa hapagkainan pa talaga at sa harapan ng maraming tao! Not to mention, her daughter too! Nakakahiya!

 

 

 

Nakuha lang ang atensyon namin nang marinig ang malakas na halakhak ng kaibigan niya.

 

 

 

"How amusing, Katherina. I like seeing this side of you!"

 

 

 

"Yeah? Wait till that happens to you." Nagpoint ito gamit ang ulo na sinundan naman ng isa.

 

 

 

It lead to Bing who was about to have the same fate as me. Ang kaibahan lang ay nasa kamay na ng maid ang table napkin at akmang ilalagay na sa lap nito. 

 

 

 

"Stop right there!" Gulat na natigilan naman ang nag-aassist kay Bing pati na rin ang kaibigan ko sa biglaang pagsigaw nito.

 

 

 

"M-Ma'am?"

 

 

 

"Give me the napkin."

 

 

 

"B-But..."

 

 

 

"The napkin, please." Nag-aalinlangan man ay sinunod pa rin nito ang utos saka inilahad ang serbilyeta sakanya.

 

 

 

"Thank you. And you guys can go and take a rest. It's okay." She smiled sweetly at the poor maid and then looked at Bing. "Sweety, can you move a little closer to me? I'll just put your table napkin."

 

 

 

Agad namang umiling si Bing habang namumula. "A-Ah, i-it's alright! T-There's no need." Pagtatangi nito. 

 

 

 

"Nonsense. Move, sweety."

 

 

 

Basi sa tono nito, kagaya ng kay Bruhilda, mapapasunod ka na lang talaga ng wala sa oras eh. Kaya wala na kaming nagawa ni Bing at napakamot nalang sa ulo dahil sa taglay na saltik ng dalawa.

 

 

 

Sa awa ng Diyos, naitawid naman namin ang tanghalian. Talagang pinaalis nila ang lahat ng maids at 'yung Butler Leonardo nalang ang pinatira.

 

 

 

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa living room area nila— living room area pa ba maitatawag kung kasing laki na nito ang isang bahay na?

 

 

 

'Yung magkaibigan ay umiinom ng tsaa habang prenteng nakaupo sa sofa at naguusap ng kung ano-ano gamit ang alien language nila tas patawa-tawa pa. Samantalang kami ni Bing ay wala, nakaupo lang. Hindi naman kasi namin maintindihan.

 

 

 

Si Soleil naman ay nasa may sulok at masayang nilalaro ang  bagong kabibigay lang na laruang doll house galing sa Tita Savannah niya. Sana all diba? Wala pa ngang isang araw pero spoiled na agad ang kabibe na 'yan.

 

 

 

They must have noticed our clueless faces when they changed their language and conversed in English instead. As if namang makakarelate din kami. Usapang mayaman ba naman.

 

 

 

Then, their topic surprisingly took a turn. This time, nasa usapang entertainment business na sila and I don't know if I should listen or not, but later decided on the former.

 

 

 

Because no matter how much I tried to denied it, nor how much I despise it, it's a topic that still always piqued my interest— mostly, even when I wanted to get away from it, and yet, I can't seem to do so.

 

 

 

"So, how's the world of entertainment after I retired?" Pagsisimula ni Bruhilda. Pasimpleng nakikinig lang ako sa gilid, hindi pinapahalata na interesado ako sa tsismis nila.

 

 

 

"In chaos. Well, there's this new and rising actress, whose name I didn't bother knowing because she's not that important to me anyway. And she's the one who gloats the most from your retirement, taking advantage of every opportunity she gets—most of which are the ones you've turned down before."

 

 

 

"It's quite funny, actually, because there's a rumor going around saying that she's just a copycat of you—basically, she's copying your style in... well, almost everything. That's why a lot of companies want her since they can't have the best real thing anymore."

 

 

 

Ay grabe namang chismis 'yan.

 

 

 

"But enough about her, she's irrelevant. Anyway, your fans still can't believe that you retired this early, Rina. And they truly miss you, but they are also in pure utter disbelief. I know because I often lurked on Twitter just to see your face on my timeline every time."

 

 

 

Napakunot ang noo ko sa nasagap na impormasyon. She retired early? Ibig sabihin hindi pa gaano katagal sa industriya si Bruhilda? So what made her decide to retire then? Kung si Soleil lang din, pwede naman siyang maghiatus diba?

 

 

 

"I mean, if I were them, I would feel the same way too— which I won't deny that I am by the way, especially when you unexpectedly dropped this bomb out of nowhere without any apparent reason. Not only that, after retiring, you were nowhere to be found."

 

 

 

"And oh, I know you deleted all your socials— and I'm thankful that you still remember to reach out to me, but just to inform you, you are still trending on Twitter. And you know what that means, right? For all our safety, we're still disguising when we go out."

 

 

 

Natakot naman ako don. Gagi baka bigla nalang kaming dumugin ng mga fans nila.

 

 

 

"As for the companies that you've worked for, well, I heard their stocks went downhill the moment you left, especially the ones where you served as the brand ambassador."

 

 

 

My mouth gaped. Damn, ganon ba talaga kalaki ang impluwensya ni Bruhilda sa industriya nila? Na for a short amount of time, she already managed to achived a lot. I then glanced at her. I mean, just looking at her face alone, there's no denying it. Dahil masasabi mo talagang may maipagmamalaki siya. 

 

 

 

"That's the great impact of your retirement, Katherina."

 

 

 

"I know. In fact, I still receive a lot of calls from Carla. They still want me back and just opt for me to go on a hiatus instead." She replied solemnly and appears to be in deep thought. "But I'm really done."

 

 

 

Napatingin ito sakin at ngumiti. "Don't get me wrong. I love what I've achieved, but it's really incomparable to what I have right now."

 

 

 

"Won't you regret it? I mean, you were on the very peak of your career, Katherina."

 

 

 

I my lips and held my breath. Somehow, that question made me nervous. Nga naman. She was just starting to make her name even bigger, but she retired already. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi isipin na baka mamaya, magsisi lang siya sa ginawang desisyon. Si Soleil lang din ang maaapektohan.

 

 

 

At oo na, pati na rin ako.

 

 

 

"Never. Choosing this decision was the best thing I have ever done in my life." Puno ng sensiridad niyang sagot. At siguradong-sigurado na talaga siya sa naging desisyon. 

 

 

 

Lihim akong napangiti. I felt relieved na para bang nabunutan ako ng tinik sa katawan. I finally released the breath I had been holding back since earlier while waiting for her answer.

 

 

 

"And it's not like they really 'miss' me, Savy. I know you know that." She contradicted her friend and looked down as she played with her fingers. 

 

 

 

"Instead, all they just want was drama. And I bet they only wanted me back to know the real reason why I retired this early seeing that this is considered as one of the biggest controversy ever." She continued and that made me frown.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, napatawa siya ng pagak, rolling her eyes on the process as she leaned back with her arms crossed. Doon na ako napatingin ng maiigi sakanya.

 

 

 

Ibinuhos ko ang lahat ng atensyon na pwede kong ibagay. When I noticed the distant look she had. Like as if reminiscing her past is painful for her to do so. 

 

 

 

I unconsciously clenched my jaw. This is the first time I've seen her like this, and I don't think if I'd want to see it the second time around— nor at all. I want her to stay as the same Bruhilda that I'm starting to get to know now: playful, happy, and full of life. Not like this. Damn.

 

 

 

"What really happened, Kath?" Tanong ni Savannah sakanya. "What made you choose this decision. I genuinely wanted to know as your friend because you really went missing for a year! You only contacted me after that..."

 

 

 

"I tried to make light of everything and kept assuring myself that you're safe during that year. But... I can't help to worry you know."

 

 

 

Ngumiti si Bruhilda sakanya. "I know. And I'm always thankful for your concern."

 

 

 

"The truth is, throughout my entire career, I've been mocked and doubted more than I have ever been praised for my talents. Been hated and recieved a lot of backlash due to the countless baseless rumors, issues and accusations that was my linked down to my name, more than I have ever been supported and loved."

 

 

 

"I have also been used and taken advantage of, more than I could ever count. Worst of all, I have to apologize for the things that was supposed to be normal just because I don't fit in any of their narratives."

 

 

 

She revealed, and that made me paused.

 

 

 

"It's like all they ever see was a doll. What they wanted me to do was to stay still inside my box, be pretty and to always act perfect— but I'm not perfect. I will never be. Afterall, I'm just a human being too, right?"

 

 

 

"Am I not allowed to make some stupid mistakes? Am I not allowed to make my own decisions as well?"

 

 

 

"It's honestly just so tiring. It felt like prison disguising as a luxury." She sighed, smiling. But it never reached her eyes. "It also got worst when I started dating..."

 

 

 

She stopped and looked at her child. We all did the same.

 

 

 

Ah. I understand.