“Drink your espresso, Rina.”

I peeped kay Jeno from the mirror na malambing na nakangiti saakin. He was also holding a cup of coffee habang nakasandal sa gilid ng trailer, still waiting for me to finish practicing my lines before going off sa set together para sabay kami. He headed straight na kasi dito nang matapos na ang pag-aayos sakanya. He looked clean sa hairstyle niya ngayon at sa suot suot niyang buttoned up shirt along with khaki shorts.

Binaba ko ang script na I’m currently scanning,

“I will, after this.” I replied and turned to the last page ng script, avoiding his gaze.

“I’m starting to worry, baka nauumay ka na sa mga libre ko sa’yo.” He jokingly said, pointing sa drink kong hindi ko pa nagagalaw simula pa nung break.

It’s my fourth cup of Espresso na this day and lahat yun ay treat niya.

I took the paper cup and carefully drank from it, “Happy now?”

He seems satisfied na and drastically laughed, “Of course, I paid one-hundred twenty pesos din kaya sa drink mo.”

I almost roll my eyes, “Sus, that’s barya lang when it comes to you.”

He mentioned na one of his cousin’s company is a shareholder sa coffee shop na lagi niyang pinagbibilhan ng kape namin. At hindi lang naman ako ang nililibre niya, even yung crews and other cast ay hindi niya nakakalimutan na bilhan.

It’s already our fifteenth day of shooting for our upcoming movie handled by one of the biggest film productions company in the country. My co-star, Jeno, is a meticulous guy and would often treat us a hot brew to start the day, magaan ang loob ko sakanya since lumapit pa talaga siya personally kay Ate Sunny na long-time makeup artist ko to ask what I prefer when it comes to my drink. He’s really attentive sa mga inconvenience sa set and would often give me advice when it comes to acting for the screen tapos magtatanong rin naman siya back to me about theatre acting, admitting na mukha daw talangang mas mahirap ‘yon compare to what we are currently doing right now since it's live at mahirap magkamali on the spot. Bilib rin daw siya saakin as he watched my plays from before na nakaupload sa Youtube.

Matunog na rin ang pangalan ni Jeno sa enterainment industry as he came from one of the most prominent clan in showbiz. Her grandmother was a veteran actress while his dad and uncles were matinee idols back in their days. He has worked na rin before with Gigi sa isang commercial, shyly confessed na natipuhan niya daw that time ang bestfriend ko and chickened out as parang hindi naman daw interested ito sakanya.

Another chika to tell my besties nanaman kahit na Jeno made me do pinky promise pa to not tell Giselle about it.

We are currently somewhere in Antipolo and first time ko yata sa set na magkaroon ng sariling trailer. The budget for this project is really high and there were a lot of people sa set to watch us na mostly are from the higher ups. Buti nalang the director for this project is open to anyone’s idea na pwede pang ika-improve ng film and he’s not the condescending type unlike sa mga nakawork ko before na ubod ng pagka professional. Ang cool lang kasi even sa mga non-producers ay nakikinig si direk.

Although I’ve been working with these wonderful film crew na has been taking care of us since day one ng taping, I still can’t explain the dismay na naramdaman ko when we had our first script reading along with my co-stars. Tama lang na I didn’t expect too much sa storya ng film or maybe nasanay lang ako sa tremendous plotlines sa theater plays or maybe ayoko lang talaga mismo sa job na ‘to.

I didn’t like the fact that my character relies too much sa leading man ko after being independent her whole life. It makes me sick in the stomach.

Ayoko din yung thought na I easily got the part everyone was willing to die for without any effort. I despise the fact na tinanggap ko pa rin yung trabaho despite knowing the truth behind it.

I guess this is what mom wanted for me, a high-budgeted film with a low-budget storyline with an exchange of fame.

Mommy was so proud to see me back in taping. After having the talk with her the day na umuwi ako sa bahay from the province and mindlessly went to the contract signing for her sake of her kahit labag na labag sa loob ko, medyo nilulubayan niya na naman ako and she’s back to her normal self na para bang walang nangyari. She’s being a mother to me all over again, treating me as if she really cares for me.

I wanted to prove something sakanya by working on this project.

There are a few knocks sa metallic door ng trailer,

“Karina and Jeno, first take in five. Mag ready na kayo.” One of the producers called out.

“That’s us na.” Jeno repeated. Tumayo na ako from my vanity chair.

I took one last quick sip sa drink ko before making sure na okay na pa ang light make up ko and the lipstick didn’t smudge. Jeno offered his hand saakin habang pababa kami ng mini stairs,

“It’s fine, Jeno.” I politely refused habang nagpatuloy lang sa pagbaba, napasipol pa tuloy yung isang producer sa kanyang narinig.

He awkwardly laughed and defeatedly raised his hand, “Alright alright.”

I playfully looked at him, “Don’t take it personally ha.”

He chuckled at nakisabay naman, “I’ll make a thread about you sa Twitter!”

Our last scene for tonight is a heavy scene and the of the movie itself. I gathered some composure and exhaled deeply as we go off sa set. The cameras are ready to roll and everyone else is just waiting for us. Lumiwanag ang mukha ni Direk when he saw us ang quickly guided us through the gaff tape na nakadikit sa floor, explaining us the angles of the camera and kung hanggang saan kami hahapak in order for the camera to properly capture us.

Been a while na rin since a bawl my eyes out for a scene, it’s actually one of my specialty when it comes to acting; emotional scenes.

“You ready?” Jeno whispered as soon as we got sa position namin.

I inhaled, “Yeah, let’s finish this scene agad.”

“Is that a challenge..?”

Pinigilan ko ang pagtawa ko, the boom operator might hear my contagious laughter. Masyado na maraming bloopers.

I nodded, “It’s a win-win situation kaya, makakapagpahinga na tayo after this.”

“Then, game ako d’yan.”

Our facial expressions quickly changed and we get into our characters the moment direk started to countdown,

“And… action!”

I have to prove to mom na I didn’t need her to sleep with some old disgusting movie executive guy in order for me to have a major role again. I am well aware of my talent and what I’m capable of. Para saan pa yung mga acting workshops na pinaggastusan niya just for her to doubt me?

So far, every person i’ve stumbled naman upon these days has either complimented me for my acting or asked me for a photo implying that deserve ko ang role na ito and they can’t see anybody na gaganap pa sa character ko. Medyo nabawasan ang burden na nararamdaman ko kahit papaano about this work.

Little did they know.

Everyone applaud as we finished shooting the last scene and inabot ko agad ang tissue na a staff handed to me, I could still hear Direk’s slow yet boisterous clap from his standing ovation. Pinunasan ko ang mga luha sa mata and cheeks ko as I watch myself sa view screen monitor.

God, that was very emotional to the point that I didn’t even need to put myself onto it nor force a cry since emotions suddenly burst out by the time the camera started to roll. It approximately took three takes lang to finalize our last scene for tonight, I wanted to go home na rin.

Jeno looked a little worried after the cut kanina before siya i-drag ng manager niya to have a talk, mukhang hindi kasi ito satisfied sakanya but I think he did well naman in terms of acting, kulang lang talaga sa voice projection.

Direk thanked us and told us to have a rest na muna. He didn’t forget to express his adulation towards my emotional and physical expressivity. The executive daw was right to recommend a theater actress to cast sa highly anticipated film ng lahat.

I suddenly feel tired bigla despite all the good things he said about me.

Naglakad na ako palayo ng set and some staff would still compliment me as I walk my way back to trailer.

"Ate Rina!" Wonyoung suddenly appeared from behind and gave me a hug.

"Hey hey, at bakit nandito ka pa? Kanina pa tapos yung part ninyo ah." I asked surprisingly as I hug her back.

What time is it na ba.. she's still a minor and dapat hindi niya inooverwork and sarili niya.

She pouted, "Gusto kaya kita panoorin, ate. Ang galing galing mo!"

Nahihiya akong tumawa, "Grabe talagang nag-abala ka pa to stay dito just to watch me. Sana worth it naman 'yan.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya,

"Super kaya, ate! Talagang pinilit ko pa si daddy na magtagal muna dito since Sabado naman bukas at walang pasok.”

Wonyoung is still a senior high student pa sa Ateneo. Nakikita niya daw ako before nung elementary siya sa mga theatre shows namin and number one fan niya na daw ako since the first time she laid her eyes on me, isa daw ako sa dahilan kung bakit gusto niya mag take ng TA sa college. Nakakakatouch talaga makapag inspire ng ibang tao. Even her friends daw kept asking for my autograph, tapos still hoping parin sila na maging MC ulit ako for UAAP para mas maging worth it pa ang ticket nila.

“Ikaw ha mas gumagaling ka na mambola, pero you should go home na. I’ll treat you lunch sa susunod, okay?” I promised and broke our hug since it’s getting late na talaga.

“Hindi naman ako nambobola, ate..” Pamamaktol niya.

We took a couple of selfie pa bago niya ako pakawalan. Nakakawala talaga ng pagod ang mga katulad ni Wonyoung na grabe mang encourage at mag express ng pagkamangha saakin. She’s one of the few people sa showbiz na I’m fond of, she’s like a little sister na to me.

I fished out my phone agad sa handbag ko to check messages once I finished changing clothes. Hindi ko pa natatanggal ang make up ko and it feels irky na.

Three messages from Winter and few from our groupchat nila Giselle and Yeji. Mukhang nangungulit na ang dalawa since tapos na ang work nila.

Winter: Sakit ng katawan ko sa dami ng delivery today. Baka matulog ako ng maaga ngayon..

Winter: Or i’ll just wait for you para sabay ulit tayo? :)

Winter: Sige ayun na lang, ingat on your way sa work mo