I was six years old when I landed my first modeling role sa isang TV commercial.

My parents were really supportive of my dream to become an actress, I was always taught to become confident since I have the looks and the talent to start with daw, there’s no reason for me to shy away sa mga opportunities. Mom would often make me attend acting classes hanggang sa mag high school ako.

My career started as a child model for a kid’s clothing line as well as appearing in other television advertisements. Nakatatak na sa utak ni mommy na I would become famous and successful as I grew up. Hindi daw siya pwede mamatay nang hindi niya ako nakikitang umaacting sa isang film as the main character. Not a recurring, not an extra, not a guest, but the main star mismo.

She was already dissatisfied when she found out na I got the side character role for this one movie instead of the lead role I originally auditioned for when I was in my Senior Highschool. Mom demanded an explanation from one of the casting directors and even showed my impressive resume which included twenty television spots and seventeen print ads. She pushes through it parin kahit na pinigilan ko siya since I’m already grateful naman sa naachieve kong role.

Despite my success as a child model, numerous auditions, short stints for varieties of shows and films, I still wasn’t able to win a major role my mom was highly dreaming about. She’s my manager and madalas ako absent sa school nung time na yun just because she was making me ready for auditions. It made me think na maybe I should stick with my studies nalang since I'm doing very well naman sa school.

Plus, I'm mostly interested din to become a theater actress rather than a TV actress that's why I took TA sa college. Most of the stage actors I know kasi are brilliant and has a top-notch acting skill like Eugene Domingo and Lea Salonga and I've always idolized them. Their acting feels raw and veracious compared to what I watch sa television. Nanonood din ako with my classmates ng indie films sa University Theater ng UP whenever we got free time noon.

I also always hated the overused plots sa mga telenovelas about mistresses and anak sa labas storyline. Mom would often make me watch international shows nalang since they’re better daw in terms of the plot and the actors delivering their lines. Mas maayos daw kasi ang mga performing arts school duon kaysa dito. Kaya laking tuwa ni mommy when I passed the entrance exam sa Ateneo.

I went to an all-girls school hanggang sa middle school and masaya naman ako na I attended there since the school is very eco-friendly and doesn’t use air conditioner sa mga classrooms. The girls there are nice, even my teachers na magagaling magturo and had a lot of patience when I struggled to understand my math problems for years. The only problematic thing about sa isang all-girls school is the male-gaze from of course, male professors. I’ve encountered child predators for a few times noon. Mom knew about it and promised na I would transfer na sa katabing university if I promised na makakapasa ako once I finish my junior highschool.

Okay, enough talking about predators.

Then while studying for college, I got invited sa mga stage plays and musicals to perform since one of my professors in my theatrical performance subject was flabbergasted sa acting skills ko. I realized acting was really my passion since it feels natural doing it. The others were familiar saakin and would gush, saying that ako daw ang childhood nila when it comes to television commercials.

While Yeji has already an establishing career and reputation sa entertainment industry along with Giselle sa modeling, i’m the most surprised na walang nakakakilala sakanila mostly sa probinsya. Of course, Tita Suzy knows them well because of my mother and me. I guess, people there doesn’t watch television that much or mas familiar talaga sila sa mga older celebrities. The signal’s impossible din kasi and we could only do text messaging. RJ has a Wi-Fi naman sa home nila pero masyado itong mabagal kaya balak na daw ito ipapaputol ng ate niya, soon. Mataas din daw kasi ang bill. Lahat din kasi ng mga tao dun may pinagkakaabalahan even sa weekends and watching tv is the last thing they would do for killing time.

“Did tita know ba na you went with us?” Yeji asked while driving, eyes not leaving the road.

Nakikiramdam lang si Giselle sa likod.

I shooked my head, “No, she would ask me to come home na rin soon, anyways.”

Almost everyday na rin ako kinukulit ni mommy na umuwi.

She looked apologetic, “She texted me kaninang umaga to check up on you. I replied naman out of formality.”

Hindi ako sumagot. I wasn’t interested.

Yeji continued, “She thought daw na sasabay ka na kayla Ate Yeri pauwi after you guys talked through the phone nung fiesta.”

Mom called me nung umaga ng fiesta, telling me that it’s time to go home and mas safe if sasabay ako sa mga cousins ko sa sasakyan pauwi. My driver is currently on his vacation din kasi with her family, mommy doesn’t allow dad naman to drive there sa province to pick me up. It’s a complicated situation.

I sighed exasperatedly, “Ji... I don’t want to talk about my mom right now. We’ll talk naman later pagkauwi.”

Yeji nodded, “We’re just worried about you. Sorry, Rina.” She apologized and tahimik na ulit nagdadrive.

Giselle patted my back, I lazily smiled sakanya.

Pinikit ko saglit ang mga mata ko, the only person I could think about right now is Winter. I know that we didn’t talk much pauwi and she was silent lang habang inaantay ako na nag iimpake ng gamit upstairs. Tita Suzy was also sad sa biglaang alis ko and nakiusap muna ako to not tell my mom na uuwi ako, she agreed and told me to fix things with my mother and welcome daw ako lagi to stay sakanila whenever I want to. I hugged Ryujin, Yujin, Ning and Chenle one by one tightly as we part ways, not forgetting to thank them for everything they did for us. They joked that if ever na hindi ulit ako bumisita sakanila, huhuntingin nalang daw nila ako sa QC since naattach na sila saakin.

I saw how Yeji bid her farewell kay Ryujin, they also hugged and naramdaman ko ang kalungkutan nila especially ni RJ kahit malakas ito mangasar hanggang sa pagsakay namin sa car. Giselle teared up naman while holding hands with Chenle, feeling ko ay mag ooffer na siya ng job as a makeup artist on the spot kay Chen if hindi lang siya pinasakay agad ni Yeji sa loob ng sasakyan.

It’s quite depressing na ngayon sa biyahe after kami i-lead ni Winter using her motor hanggang sa bungad ng bayan nila for a straight route at hindi kami maligaw sa pasikot sikot na daanan sakanila. Lumapit pa siya saamin para sabihan na mag-ingat kami sa biyahe and told Yeji shortcuts for a much faster trip. I gave her one final look before Yeji fully closed the window and pinaharurot na ang sasakyan.

I miss them na agad. I miss Winter.

“I wanted to upload our group photo badly...” Giselle said, pouting. Looking through the pictures sa gallery niya.

Yeji scrunched her nose, “You can upload naman yung pictures na tayong tatlo lang, those that are taken by Ning.”

“Yeah, showing their faces to the public would cause chaos.” I said as the matter of fact.

I’ve listened to the stories of Yeji and Giselle about some fans na hindi alam ang personal space at privacy nila. Tumataas parin ang balahibo ko everytime I remember how Yeji got constantly harassed for months just because some fanatic is obsessed sakanya and would always stalk her wherever she goes. The man even sent her some death threats if she ever dated someone that is not him. Luckily, I never had an encounter with a creep naman since i’m still a rising actress.

Kahit yung mga kamag anak ni Yeji had a hard time dealing with personal questions from those fanatics buti it stopped rin naman since lawyers got involved na with the case.

“But me and Chen really looked good in this candid picture, look.” Giselle leaned in saamin and showed some pictures nila ni Chenle.

“Uhuh, those are indeed pretty good.” I agreed, amazed sa photography skills ni Yujin.

Giselle looked at me excitedly, “The bokeh effect is on fire, right?”

I nodded habang tinitignan pa ang ibang pictures, we all looked happy there.

“You didn’t tell me that Yujin takes good pictures pala. I had to endure RJ’s shaky hands and blurry photos the whole time.” Yeji complained, trying her best to take a glance sa phone ni Gigi while driving.

“I did kaya, you just like Ryujin so much sakanya ka lang nakadikit.”

“That is so not true! Correction, I like everyone there.”

“Girl, that also includes Ryujin.”

Yeji retorted, “Don’t bugaw me kay RJ. That’s very weird.”

I cracked up, “Noted.”

Everyone there sa Nueva Ecija is very cordial. Yeji is usually wary when it comes to friendly people and pinagdudahan pa ako nung nagkukwento ako how Winter is very caring saakin and would take me to places. Nung nakapunta na sila dito, they finally understood bakit sila Winter