You really look  good.

Everytime i look at you, it just feels unreal. My head becomes blurry and dreamy; I guess the neurons in my brain are dancing because of the beautiful sight if you. It is impossible you could look so handsome; just a glimpse of your side profile and my body forgets how to function. My eyes are unable to focus and falls on the ground as it seems no direction is not strange to look to, my arms and legs forgets the rhythm of their original movements, and my heart feels like it has flied out of my body. Seeing you one second can make your name, your face and your body fill up my mind for 3days, every hour, every second, all I could think about is you, you you, you and you.

But the point is today left me so unsatisfied. I saw you twice but both times our eyes did not meet. It left me worrying about you might be avoiding me because you have confirmed that I like you, as I was so nervous when you stood right beside my desk, and so maybe you will be indifferent to me, never teasing me, and never do that sound again. Afterall it was just two sights of you and you did not look back that makes me so frightened. despite this is so stupid and silly of me, but you won't want to lose your job, and I guess there might be personal reasons for you to suddenly transfer to my school.

but I am just scared of losing you.


I think if my boldness level is just 0.1% higher, I will crash myself onto you and hug you, really. And I want to do this desperately, that I'm really just lacking that 0.1%.

I always have a high drive, possibly everyday I want to kiss someone and hug someone, and at night I want something to be inserted inside my organ. So I hug my family at home and at school the unfortunate classmates who chose to be my friend are always hugged by me always all of a sudden and at any time. But to my observation, my charisma and charm and most importantly the nature of human beings especially girls love skinship, and my desires always successfully build more intimate relationships between my classmates and I. Whoever I'm interested in, I succeed in making them my friend.

I only hope the law of attraction, and the saying that telling something to your head makes it truly happen, happens to you too.


Ari - Moonlight

“He's so bossy
He makes me dance
Tryna sit in the back of his whip
And just cancel my plans
Sweet like candy
But he's such a man
He knows just what it does
When he's holding me tight
And calls me moonlight too”







The week two weeks before passed by barely any glances from you, except that when I opened my legs for attention, you looked to the center place between my thighs.

I begin missing you every night, not only your aura, your body... but your presence.

Missing a man at night can give me such a vulnerable and idiotic feel. Can't think of anything else but you, and down there my just calls for you. It isn't my brain's fault but my organs' fault.

Oct28
At the end of the week, which was Friday, I decided to approach you, asking to be excused before the lesson and asking you to upload the test suggested answers after the lesson. Both times, we had so intense eye contact.

How we stared into each other's eyes so intently, purely without lust, you could give me such a warm, assuring, trustworthy, comfortable feeling. Looking at your eyes and your face makes me feel wholesome, peaceful and graceful. Your eyes are so beautiful, and glaring into them while they are glaring back into my eyes feels so intimate, unreal, sweet yet makes me feel so safe. It was so nice, your eyes feel so familiar as though you've been my lifelong friend.

I was too tired to write down anything last week, I forgot what happened on Thursday, but it was all nice on Friday. I did a lot to get your attention, said something to turn you on, and act flirtatious enough. I felt great.

I decided to not to have any inappropriate thoughts about him. Obviously I failed.

(Once I saw you in the corridor, you gave me a long more-than-two-seconds glance. That was an eye contact. I felt nothing that day cuz that was when I lost my feelings for you. But that eye contact is strange enough. You atr quite a strange person.

Today (nov4) he was so handsome again in the lesson. Him wearing that blue short sleeved shirt is really something I cannot resist. His arm muscles together along with his whole body is just impossible for me to not stare at and desire. When he walked passed my desk I see his back. His back is big and manly. While he was answering a question from a classmate two seats in front of me, I could see his side profile clearly, he was truely very handsome. His hair, his shimmering eyes, neck and body as a whole made him really attractive. I could feel things down my v even by looking at him today, how crazy this is.

And when my classmate told me that I looked 'seductive' (誘人) today, I had no idea how to react. She said that and blushed, explaining that my facial expression and posture both looked so 'seductive'. Deep in my heart I chuckle I hope he sees this too.
 6nov (sat) he changed his Instagram profile picture to his side profile. He looks really handsome:)

(+ I forgot when, my classmate sent me several photos of him, taken by some lower form students, I could look at him even when I'm back home from school)

8Nov (Mon) there's math lesson tomorrow
I promise to myself, if you do not do anything to me tomorrow, I'll erase you from my heart forever. You have no second chance. Just give me one peculiar glance.

9nov (Tues) I kept looking at your body. The look in your face tells me you know this happening. Haha. It's fun. I acted flirtatious throughout the lesson. And at the end of the lesson your put your hand on my desk while passing through the space between my desk and the chair of the classmate sitting in front of me. Your palm was facing up, with your fingers facing me, it was quite an awkward posture of your hand. I saw the white chalk powder in your hand. I don't know but it just made me feel, you're doing it for me.

Nov10 (Wed)

I went to the teacher's desk to give you the quiz correction I should've given you two days ago. You were concentrating on something that you were lowering your head. I said Mr Lau in a super weak and tiny voice, with much sense of softness and tenderness that startled myself too after j made that sound. As soon as I made that sound I know it's gonna melt you. I just sounded like a girl wishing so much for masochism.

 You reached out your hand to take that. When the lesson started, of course you had to stand up, and surprisingly, amazingly and ing insanely, I see  you  obviously going through an . There was a ing huge thing there inside your tight black pants. I still remember how that looks. It never looked like that before. This is ing very insane. period.

the ing thing stayed there for about twenty minutes and then disappeared. I kept touching the pen you held before when teaching my maths, touching the lid and the whole pen with my fingertips continuously (a week ago I asked him maths he used my pen to take notes on my notebook and made my pen full of his chalk dusts and even his fingerprint was there for three days) that should have happened on 29oct I really forgot the time. 

I kept staring at you, your body, your eyes, your face, your  ,and I think you noticed that as you return my stare sometimes.  today is ing satisfying. My very sadistfeellike man, I love you so much. 

Nov15

My mood is so bad. Can you just come and me.

Nov 21
The week passed. Yesterday nov20 was the school catholic retreat day. Just when I was leaving the building, I saw you walking at the upper playground. You were wearing casual style. You looked so hot as ever. You made me unable to control myself that I screamed in front of my newly-made friend and I rushed quickly down the building. When I arrived to the school's fate you're nowhere to be seen already.

Nov23
I wanted to go to the washroom. I went in front of the class when it was math working time. You were writing on the blackboard when I asked 'may i be excused'. You didn't hear. So you stared into my eyes for a good two seconds until I become confused and asked you 'may I be excused' again. Then you let me.

Nov24
I asked you maths and you taught me, with yout deep low voice, in cantonese, and head held close to me, explaining it to me while tilting yout head to look at me.