You didn’t want to admit it just yet, but there was something about all this that didn’t sit right with you. Two months had almost gone by since signing with Starship, and whilst you didn’t have a direct understanding of what it was like to prepare for a debut, you had assumed it would be different than this.

You spent most of your time in the studio. Each day was spent around the Starlet team, planning out your first mini-album, recording potential songs to release on the EP, and vocal training.

But that was it.

You hadn’t once been sat down to talk about your appearance or asked to go on a diet. You had, of course, opted to be more conscious of your image, but no one was strict on it. If anything, they were more concerned about your voice being in optimal condition.

There was also no training around being interviewed. You had no understanding if you should start practising your English either, knowing your pronunciation was only good from singing, not speaking the language. You knew there were multiple classes an idol took before debuting. And you weren’t attending any of them.

Maybe they weren’t going to put you up on a stage right away. That was the only conclusion you could come to over the lax details around your swiftly upcoming debut.

That was until you met Nina.

“Y/N, this is Nina. She’s joining the Starlet project today,” Terry announced with a broad smile, and you looked at the newcomer in awe.

Nina was effortlessly beautiful. Even with her unnaturally red locks, she looked like a goddess compared to you. She was slender, yet her feminine curves were soft and shapely. Her eyes were a light brown, and her skin a perfect creamy milk consistency. She was a good ten centimetres taller than you, and her legs seemed to go on forever outside of her shorts.

She was the epitome of idol beauty.

And she was extremely friendly as well. “I’m so nervous to meet you! Seriously.”

“You? Nervous?” you echoed softly as she shook your hand in greeting. “Why?”

“I can’t believe we’re going to be working together. I heard a clip of your voice today, and wow. You’re going to have to guide me in the singing department, Y/N. Wait, are you older or younger than me? Should we establish how we talk with one another now?”

“Ladies,” Terry cut in, smiling when he had your attention. “It seems you’re both off to a good start. Nina here excels in dancing, and Y/N, we all know you can sing. You’re a perfect match.”

Glancing at the girl beside you, who equally looked confused, your thoughts started to turn dark.

Here was everything they wanted an idol to look like. Nina had to be dieting to be in great shape like that. And if she couldn’t sing…

No. You shook your head to remove the thought building in the darkest corner of your mind. You would simply work as a duo and become each other’s strengths. Nina could help you learn how to get in better shape and teach you to dance if that was part of your concept. So far, your songs hadn’t taken on a direct concept. You had recorded ballads, pop, and rockier tunes all this time. Nothing had been put in place yet, so you still had time to figure this all out.

Despite trying to convince yourself otherwise, that nagging inner critical voice didn’t quieten at all.

A week into working with Nina, it was becoming all too clear what the plan was for the Starlet project. You hadn’t voiced it out loud, but when Nina worked on all the tasks that you hadn’t and wasn’t found in the studio recording tracks, you began to suspect that your voice would be heard by the nation.

But you wouldn’t step in front of them.

You were struggling to come to terms with how slighted you had been by Terry. How desperate you had been for this opportunity at the time that you hadn’t once thought about how you would be presented as a soloist. And even if you had tried to fool yourself for a day or two after meeting Nina, you knew now there had never been a chance for you to stand on stage and sing your songs.

“You know, I’m confused,” Nina whispered to you when you finally met with each other to eat dinner. Leaning across the table towards you, she glanced around before letting out a little breath. “If we’re on the same team, how come it feels like we’re training apart?”

“We are,” you replied, spearing a lettuce leaf from the bowl in front of you. One of the staff members had tried to offer you a more substantial meal, but you had declined after seeing what they had served up to Nina without asking her if that was okay.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to hate the girl before you, knowing full well she would be the one going up on stage alone. She just hadn’t come to figure that out yet.

“But why? We’re in this together, Y/N.”

“Nina,” you started and noticed Melody, your manager, approaching the table. Smiling briefly, you merely stabbed another vegetable into your mouth. Nina looked at your sudden quietness and chose to follow suit. You had found she was only a few months younger than you, and she had started to look up to you.

In some weird way, you were protective of her already.

“Girls, your debut date has been set,” Melody announced with a smile, but neither of you were able to match the warm gesture back. Melody frowned. “Are you not excited?”

“Of course, we are. I can’t wait to stand up on stage with Y/N,” Nina suddenly enthused, and you were acutely aware of how rigid Melody became.

Your suspicions grew.

“Right. Well, uh, it’ll be in three weeks. Terry is finalising the song tracklist tonight.”

“I haven’t sung anything yet,” Nina murmured, her gaze catching yours before you could divert it. She fell silent, no doubt coming to the conclusion that there was only going to be one true Starlet performing.

Nina.

“Y/N!”

As much as hearing that familiar voice calling out your name warmed every part of you initially, your reaction soon fell away to dread, and you darted your gaze around the hallway you were walking down, trying to find something or someone to pull you away.

However, Kihyun caught you easily, stepping in front of you with his signature smile that turned his eyes into half-moons. All at once, you found yourself drowning in emotions. Yearning hit you the hardest, not aware of how much you had missed seeing Kihyun in person. You raked your wild stare over him from head to toe, noting the new haircut and colour first. Although he had bags under his eyes from comeback promotions tiring him, he seemed to be full of energy.

Yours drained in comparison.

“Y/N,” he repeated, though this time with more concern. Just as you had, Kihyun’s examination of you didn’t conclude with the same excitement. You hated how easily you showed your emotions in front of him, especially when you were trying too hard to hold everything together. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Swallowing, you nodded your head once. “Of course.”

“You’re lying.”

“Am not.”

“Your nostrils flare when you lie,” he pointed out, and you cursed inwardly at how well he knew you even when it had been so long since you last saw each other.

You went to step back, but instead, you moved forward, reaching out instinctively for his hand. Kihyun noticed your gesture and shook his head. “Not here. Come on.”

Following him down the hallway, he investigated a window on a door before stepping inside and shutting it behind you. Once secured away from anyone who walked down that hallway, Kihyun stepped right into your personal space, forgoing the hand you reached out to him and pulled you in for a hug instead.

You forgot how to breathe, and yet you had somehow inhaled his scent, closing your eyes as the fresh ocean cologne he wore washed over you. Finally reaching around him, you placed your hands on his back, nestling your head over his chest.

The moment was too intimate, though in that moment, you didn’t care. You had missed him, and with your world cracking underneath you, it was as if he appeared right when you needed him the most.

Like always.

“You’re scaring me,” he murmured, reluctantly pulling away. You watched as his ears reddened, his gaze not quite meeting yours. “I uh, don’t know why I went for the hug.”

“I’m glad you did. I needed it.”

“Want another one?” he offered with a hint of a smile that you mirrored. He hadn’t fully let you go, his hand still threaded through your hair, ready to tug you back into him.

You took the step back that was needed to bring clarity into the situation.

You couldn’t tell Kihyun the bitter truth. Not after how hard he had worked for you to get this opportunity. He had been your biggest believer, and even now, you could see he was still rooting for you, his eyes warm with appreciation.

You owed him this debut. Your voice would be heard by thousands all because of him.

But Nina will be the one to showcase it, you thought.

“Y/N?” he said, lowering his head to search your eyes. “Tell me what’s got you down.”

“I’m just exhausted. I know you warned me, but this training business is tough.”

“Especially when you’re still working your old job too,” he muttered, and you gaped at him for knowing how you spent your nights.

It wasn’t as if your schedule could fill an entire day when all you did was sing.

“Boah’s been talking to you.”

“She’s worried and missing you. Might pay to give her a call to ease her thoughts,” he suggested, and you nodded distantly, trying to squish the painful emotions rising in your chest.

The words were on the tip of your tongue now, desperate to let Kihyun know. You fought to shove them back down your throat and bury them in your stomach. When you did, you attempted a smile. “Starlet has a debut date.”

“Starlet? You can’t even refer to yourself as the one with a debut date?”

I’m not debuting, you answered internally and pushed that down too. “Yeah. It feels weird.”

Kihyun grinned. “Are you excited? Nervous?”

“I guess a bit of both.”

“When is it?” he wondered, and when you told him it was in a week’s time, his face lit up for only a second.

And then he looked you over from head to toe again, his expression darkening.

Don’t pick up on it, you begged silently. You knew he was looking you over for the usual signs of promotion. Your hair was the same. Your appearance too. Sure, you had toned up and lost a bit of weight, but that was naturally done. It wasn’t enough of an upheaval to show that you were idol ready.

You almost laughed out loud, thinking back to Sewoon’s offer of singing together when you were an idol. It wouldn’t happen now.

Kihyun’s phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts, and he didn’t break eye contact with you as he answered it. “Yeah? I’m with Y/N at the moment. I found her in the hallway.”

You tuned out of the conversation, edging towards the door and mouthing that you had to go. Kihyun shook his head whilst talking, his eyes still contemplative. You were certain if you spent any longer in his company that he would figure it all out on his own, and you needed to escape – immediately.

Waving, you darted out of the door, but Kihyun was just as fast. Having hung up in the process of your departure, his hand shot out for you and tugged you back into the room, shutting the door before pinning you against it.

You both stared at one another breathlessly from the sudden proximity, and Kihyun’s gaze narrowed.

“You’re not debuting properly, are you?”