Chatting with Kihyun had opened up a door you hadn’t known was closed. Sure, after the fire, you found out who really cared, who only pitied you, and who couldn’t cope to be in your life anymore. But over the years, you hadn’t realised just how isolated you had become.

You could only count those who cherished you on one hand.

Going through the early stages of your new friendship with Kihyun was exhilarating. And it wasn’t because he made your heart flutter whenever he smiled at you, either.

“So, what are you doing after this?” he asked, scrolling mindlessly through your computer for a song to sing as he usually did.

“Not much.”

“You work from home, right?”

You nodded. “It makes life easier. I can wear whatever I like and avoid the staring.”

“That makes you your own boss. Well, kind of, yeah?”

“I suppose. I have allocated tasks to complete each day and week. But overall, it doesn’t matter when I get to them, as long as I do them.”

“Do you have anything to do tonight?” he continued with his questions, though with this one, you noticed the hesitance in his gaze. He didn’t quite look at you, seemingly shy for asking.

You frowned. “What’s with the fifty questions, Kihyun?”

“I need to blow off steam, and I booked time in the studio.”

“Here?”

He shook his head. “At work. We all have our own studio spaces to practice in.”

“And you need to book that in?”

“After schedules, no. But they normally end well into the early morning, so if I want it earlier, and I don’t have any individual work to do, I can book it in.”

“I won’t say what I instantly thought,” you mused, and Kihyun gave you a look before chuckling.

“It’s a bit excessive. But that’s the life of an idol sometimes.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“It is. Which is why I want a break.”

You cocked your head to the side. “So, you opt to go to the studio instead? Why not go do a hobby or something.”

“Singing is still a hobby, even after all these years,” he replied with a playful nudge. Kihyun then stopped, gauging whether he had hurt you.

Dammit, you thought silently. You had almost relaxed entirely around him.

“Okay. Well, why are you telling me?”

“Want to come see?”

You blanched, looking wide-eyed at the man.

“Well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he offered quickly, chuckling awkwardly. “It was just an idea, and I thought maybe you could spot me as I film another cover or something.”

“You want me to?”

“I want that. Yeah,” he confirmed, smiling his smile that made his eyes turn into little half-moons.

“And it’s allowed?”

“I can have guests over if I clear them. I did that already.”

“Wait. It’s that simple for people to come into your workplace?” you breathed incredulously, wondering if all idol companies were the same. You had always imagined it was near impossible to get in unless you were staff or the talent themselves.

Kihyun beamed wickedly. “So maybe I cleared you as someone who works here.”

“Kihyun! I don’t—”

“Boah owns this studio. She owes me a favour or two. She promised to cover if anything happened.”

This was risky. On one hand, you were curious of his lifestyle more than what you had seen first-hand or heard about in his endless daily messages. Getting to see his studio would be a dream come true, and frankly, something you had always wanted to step into. Well, not Kihyun’s specifically, but one inside an actual company like Starship.

However, it wasn’t exactly the type of environment you yourself into normally. You liked being in the shadows, where no one noticed you or questioned your appearance.

Kihyun was watching as you debated your options, his eyes trying to delve deeper into your own and find the answer before you spoke it. You smiled. He was like Boah that way.

“Promise me that I’ll be safe if I come in.”

“It’s not the government, Y/N. No one’s going to come out and scan you from head to toe to figure out your true identity,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes as he broke into hearty laughter. “Besides, some of the members will be around and—”

“Members?!” you cut in hastily, and Kihyun arched a questioning eyebrow at you. You cringed at your eagerness. “Wow. I just. Well, you know—”

“You’re such a Monbebe,” he announced, and you gaped at his smug statement, shaking your head unconvincingly. Kihyun leaned closer with a pout. “Isn’t one idol enough to blow your mind?”

“Sometimes Boah is right when it comes to you. You really are full of yourself.”

Kihyun grinned. “It’s just me talking myself up, so I don’t have to deal with the rejection right now.”

“Why would I reject you?”

“It was in your eyes a moment ago. Me mentioning my fellow members, though… wow, and here I thought we were friends, Y/N. You lit up like a Christmas tree.”

“Quit teasing me if you want me to come,” you grumbled, and Kihyun smiled genuinely.

“You’ll join me?”

“I’m curious.”

“If you say it’s about Jooheon or Min—”

“About your setup,” you cut in with a flushed expression, watching his eyes disappear with delight again.

Oh boy. Kihyun was going to work your emotions hard tonight.

He gave you all the information you needed and told you to come by at 9PM. Of course, you entertained the anxiety of somehow not getting through security at the front when you stepped inside Starship a few minutes before time, convinced that they would see you for what you truly were.

You still couldn’t quite figure out what that was.

A friend of Kihyun’s, definitely. But places like this overwhelmed you. The hurt resurfaced, knowing you had auditioned here before. You couldn’t face being turned away again, even if it was for something unrelated to your voice.

After explaining who you were to the clerk at the front of the office, she nodded once she confirmed your appointment and gave you the elevator directions you needed to get to Kihyun. Nodding thankfully, you walked on through, placing the VISITOR lanyard around your neck shakily.

It was that easy.

Still shocked by your acceptance, when in the past you had been rejected at the first round, you stepped into the elevator and hit the floor you needed. Your emotional state didn’t ease up any when you came face to face with an idol as the doors pinged open.

Well, two.

“Ah!” Jooheon said when your eyes went round, and Kihyun slapped the bigger man off of him, the pair straightening up. “You must be the infamous Y/N.”

You quirked an eyebrow at your friend’s exasperated expression, trying not to giggle at how hopeless Kihyun appeared.

And then he moved before Jooheon could, reaching gently for your hand. “I told you not to make a big deal about this!”

You were inwardly making a very big deal about Kihyun’s hand lacing with yours.

Jooheon grinned. “I’m not making a big deal about this. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“You too,” you breathed out softly, darting your gaze anxiously between the pair. “What’s the problem?”

“Kihyun has never invited someone here,” Jooheon announced before the other Monsta X member could speak as you all started to walk into the department, and you felt his hand tense against yours.

“Not true, and you know it!”

“Okay, he hasn’t invited a friend in,” Jooheon corrected, his gaze falling to your linked hands with glee.

For some reason, you felt incredibly comfortable with holding Kihyun’s hand like this already.

“As opposed to you then?” Kihyun shot back, attempting to throw off Jooheon’s keen interest.

It worked. “I have not!”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, this is work, not pleasure, Jooheon,” he muttered, and you bit your bottom lip, stifling your laughter.

Kihyun was rather adorable with how frazzled he was.

He always seemed in control of himself and his reactions – well, aside from your argument that time. Now, with Jooheon openly winding him up, you could see two things.

He had a formidable friendship with Jooheon, and he was anxious to have you here.

“Should I ask you to keep the door unlocked?” Jooheon taunted, and you shot him a surprised look, the younger idol still gleaming with enjoyment.

“I swear to God, I will—”

“Is this Y/N?” another voice asked, and you turned to see a head pop out of a room, the smile that crossed Changkyun’s lips almost making your knees give out.

“Does everyone know about me?” you whispered to Kihyun, who looked as if he was having an existential crisis.

“Yeah.”

“Everything?” you asked more cautiously, and Kihyun’s eyes flashed with your vulnerable information. He shook his head, and you relaxed at his side.

It was only then that you realised he was still holding your hand and that it was becoming clammy – though you couldn’t tell who was behind that.

“We’re going to go sing now. No one interrupt us,” Kihyun announced, shooting the rap line a dark look whilst you bowed your head politely and waved back after Changkyun did it first.

Once inside Kihyun’s studio space, he shut the door and leaned against it.

You smirked. “Going to leave it unlocked as suggested?”

“That was so embarrassing. You’d think they don’t have enough work to do, and they’re bored or something.”

“You never mentioned you told them about me,” you said as you took a seat to the office chair Kihyun gestured to.

“I haven’t said much. Honest. They’re just teasing me.”

“Because you don’t bring people in?”

Kihyun sighed and dragged a hand down his face slowly. “No. Not often. Jooheon has a lot of friends in the industry who he records with. I have some, but mostly, I go to their studios instead.”

“I’m honoured,” you announced with a giggle, and Kihyun groaned loudly, rolling his chair towards the tech in front of him.

“We’re here to sing, but I’m not sure I’m going to be any good now.”

“You’re just saving face, right? I couldn’t imagine you not being able to sing your way through anything.”

Kihyun laughed and nodded his head loosely. “Well, you have me there.”

“So, you want to record a new cover song tonight?”

“Maybe. I’m still wondering if I’m ready to or not. I’ve practised a little, but I want it to be good when I post it online.”

“I can help you with it. What song?”

“Let’s warm-up first,” Kihyun suggested, not telling you which song it was. You frowned and poked him softly. He glanced at you and grinned. “I’m nervous.”

“I can tell. Why?”

“I don’t actually know. Maybe we could sing together first. It always calms me down.”

“I’ve been working on a Monsta X song this week,” you admitted gently, aware that his gaze had snapped to your face. “From your All About Luv album.”

Kihyun smiled warmly, tapping a finger over his chin thoughtfully. “Let me guess.”

“If you say Misbehave, I’ll go yell at Jooheon that you need to have this door open,” you commented curtly, and Kihyun busted into laughter as you folded your arms over your chest. “It’s a great song, don’t get me wrong.”

“If we did that song, let me tell you, Minhyuk would like you a lot. He’s got a soft spot for it.”

“I wonder why,” you responded, sharing a smile with Kihyun. You then shook your head. “Someone’s Someone. I like that one.”

“Well, isn’t it a good thing I know it well.”

“You should know all your songs well,” you bit back and then giggled. “Like Hero.”

Kihyun visibly shuddered and shot you a look. “You’re too much.”

“Really? I’m just getting started.”

“Sing with me, Y/N. Tease me later,” he asked, and you nodded, ready for the session to begin.