“You’re back later than I expected.”

Glancing at the girl on the couch, you nodded softly. Normally, it had been the other way around. When your career had started, Nina was out doing long hours of work, both in the practice rooms and on location. You had eventually stopped going to every schedule with her, Terry even encouraging you to leave her to it.

You had your role in this duet, and it consisted of singing and making sure you didn’t mess up behind the curtain, so Nina remained the star.

But lately, your schedules had switched around. You spent more time in the studio for vocal lessons and recording new songs, whilst Nina’s appearances grew limited with the downtime of no promotions. Your name had been called upon more often to sing several OSTs and even the new opening song of a variety show.

It was a little overwhelming to be highly sought after.

“I had to do an extra hour in the studio tonight,” you admitted, heading for the refrigerator where you stored your honey water. Your throat felt a little dry from how many high notes you had to sing.

“Tomorrow too, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s never-ending.”

“I don’t think you’re complaining,” Nina announced, and you glanced over at her as you took a slow gulp of water. Her expression was unreadable for a change.

It bothered you a little.

“No, I guess I’m not. But are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. I was just asking,” you cautiously answered, placing the lid back on your water. “I’m uh, going to take a shower.”

Nina didn’t respond as you scuttled off to your bedroom and shut the door behind you. Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you went over the interaction with her. Normally, Nina was bright and cheerful to be around. She thrived on all the work she was doing, and every time she was up on stage or invited on a show, she was always bouncing around with infectious energy. Even with Midnight Idol two weeks ago, she had enjoyed the experience in the end. And no one had been none the wiser, thanks to Kihyun’s effort to bridge the gap between them.

“I hope she’s alright,” you murmured to yourself, trying not to go to the worst-case scenarios that Nina might be facing and not tell you about.

You convinced yourself that she was just tired and went to have your shower.

Except, the mood continued. Days went by, and Nina’s smiles stopped shining altogether. You had racked your brain for every possible reason and asked her multiple times about what was wrong. Not only did Nina cut you off every time, but she was also curt whenever talking to you.

“I used the last of the bread,” she announced after you had spent over five minutes looking on the counter and in the cupboards for the loaf you had bought. Looking back at Nina, you were surprised when she met your gaze defiantly.

It made no sense, and you swallowed slowly. “That’s okay. I’ll just pick up a new one.”

“Or I could. Since I’m only at the company for half a day.”

“If it’s not too much of a hassle,” you agreed, still frowning as you put away the condiments you had pulled out for your toast.

“Of course it wouldn’t be. I’m not busy, like you.”

“Have I been slacking on something around the house because of my increase in work?” you wondered, blinking several times as you tried to figure it out.

“No. You’re not home enough to leave a mess.”

“Right. But if I were—”

“Melody’s here,” Nina flatly announced, getting up from the barstool and went to let your manager in.

On the car ride to Starship, you continued to watch Nina in the seat beside you, your worry overriding your awareness of your surroundings. You were so deep in thought as you trailed behind Nina and Melody that you didn’t even see the person you walked into until they were righting you both.

“Easy there – oh!”

You blinked back into focus and matched Sewoon’s grin. “Hello!”

“If it isn’t the angel’s voice I’ve come to know and love. How are you doing, Y/N?”

You managed to swallow back the giddy squeal that rose in your throat at the idol remembering who you were, let alone complimenting you. Grinning over at Nina, who had stopped to look at the sudden outburst of voices, you gestured for her to come back to you.

“Sewoon, this is Nina. Nina is—”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Sewoon said quickly, nodding once in Nina’s direction before smiling back at you. “Y/N, when do you have a free moment? I want to work on a duet with you.”

“Uh, I doubt that would be feasible,” you edged, glancing back at Nina. You swore you saw her face fall at Sewoon’s easy dismissal, and a sense of loyalty to her had you stepping around him. “But if you’re ever in the studio and want to bounce ideas, I’m happy to help when I’m free.”

“I’ll hold you to it. I need another White moment!” he called after you as you started down the corridor again.

“How many others are there?” Nina asked as you both rounded the corner into your department. You hummed curiously at her, and Nina sighed. “You know. The people you’ve got – never mind.”

“The people I’ve got what? Oh, like Sewoon? The reason I was recruited here was because I covered his song one time in Kihyun’s studio. Wait. You know that. Anyway, I met him the day I signed the contract, and so he knows who I am that way.”

Nina merely stared for a moment and then brushed past you silently into her studio space. You went to follow her in, but Melody shut the door with a quick, “You’re needed in the recording studio, Y/N.”

Letting it go again, you slumped off to where you were required to be.

Another week of struggling to connect with Nina had passed. You were beyond exasperated by it, and even after confessing to Kihyun how things were, you couldn’t decipher what was going on.

Furthermore, you were exhausted.

Stepping through the front door of your apartment, you didn’t bother to call out for Nina upon arrival, knowing she had stopped waiting up for you to get home days ago. Not only that, she didn’t respond to anything you had to say about your day whenever you tried. You didn’t like being so defeated, but you weren’t the confrontational type. For others, you would fight in their stead in the past, but for yourself, you’d much rather pretend you didn’t see the problem unless you knew how to fix it.

And clearly, you were at a complete loss right now.

Surprisingly, Nina was on the couch instead of holed up in her room when you stepped up into the living space. You attempted to smile at her and sighed when it wasn’t returned. “Hi,” you said, all the same, heading towards your bedroom door to strip off your layers.

When you were home, you took off as much clothing as you could to help your skin out. And considering how busy you had been lately, and with the stress of whatever was wrong with Nina, your body was giving you hell.

Again.

Stopping in the doorway when you saw her laptop’s screen, you frowned. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing. Is that a forum? Oh Nina, please tell me you’re not monitoring comments about you.”

“You mean, you,” she replied flatly, and you cocked your head to the side in confusion. Nina laughed. “You always act like this.”

“Like what.”

“Oblivious.”

“How am I oblivious? Aside from whatever is eating at you, because even after all the silent treatment or bratty remarks, I cannot figure what the hell is wrong with you.”

“It’s you! You’re the problem!” she announced breathily, and you jolted back into the doorframe, wincing as if she had hit you in the process.

“What have I done?” you whispered, trying not to let your rising emotions run freely down your face. “I’m sorry if I’ve-”

“Do you know how hard it is to be around you? To see how everyone fawns over you?”

You balked at her statement. “What? Who the hell fawns over me?”

“Everyone does! It’s all ‘Y/N is so talented’ or ‘I cannot believe that was only one take to get’! People are always telling you how wonderful you are. How your voice is a miracle.”

You choked back a sob. “My voice is all I have to give.”

Nina was undeterred, clearly ready to unleash all that she had been withholding. “Or let’s talk about how all of Monsta X protect you like you’re too fragile to do anything?! Don’t act like they don’t. They swoop in whenever there seems to be an issue. Sure, Kihyun makes sense since you’re ing him, but the others? Do you even see the way Changkyun looks at you? It’s as if he’s taken it on personally to protect you from all things nasty in this world.”

You were so stunned. You didn’t know what to say first or even refute her bitter claims over Kihyun.

“And what about how Sewoon disregarded my existence the other day?! He didn’t even care that I, the person who thousands of people associate as Starlet, was standing there!”

“So, this is what it’s about? Because Sewoon didn’t—”

“I’VE DONE NOTHING FOR WEEKS!” Nina erupted, panting afterwards.

You didn’t dare say anything, especially as the tears that ran down your face started to stream down hers.

“I worked my off to get our name out there. All the variety shows, all the performances. All the hours I spent practising dances for our songs. But are they even ours?! All that comes in now are requests for your voice. All the comments online are about how beautiful your singing is. Hardly anyone comments about me! And yet, all you do is just stand there!”

“Stand there?!” you echoed, feeling the coil within you snap at how insulted you felt even though you were aware of Nina’s pain. “How do you think it feels to have to stand behind a ing wall?! To be backstage and sing to a camera monitor so I can make sure I’m in sync with you? Everyone thinks that my voice belongs to you! That no matter how good my voice is, how everyone praises it, no one will ever know that I’m not under that precious limelight that you’re so greedy for! Just once, I wanted to succeed. How can you say that I am when it’s all fake?!”

Swinging back for the doorway as you trembled from head to toe, you reached for the bag that you had left there and blindly stepped into a pair of shoes, not even turning around to face the person who had hurt you the most just now. The one you had housed and cared for. The one you had felt you had given too many sacrifices for.

“As for my friends, they’re protective of me because, in case you’ve forgotten, the company we signed up to are absolute s who have created this rift between us. We’re fighting over jealousy of each other that came from the tiest of all deals that we were too stupid and went through with. And they, having experienced the wrath of Starship’s ruthlessness before, are guilty that both of us fell into this trap, Nina. I’m sorry that I knew them first and that they struggle to be close with you too. I thought that would come, especially after the dinner we had with Minhyuk, Changkyun and Kihyun. Who, by the way, isn’t ing me. Yet!”

Storming out of the house as a veil of tears fell down your face, you made it as far as the street before you dropped to the ground and hugged your legs to your chest, fumbling for your phone.

“What’s wrong?” Kihyun’s voice was urgent as soon as you tried to speak.

“Can you come and get me, please? I can’t stay here tonight.”

“Where are you?” he asked, and you managed to give your location before the phone call ended.

You didn’t feel the time slip by. Your body was suddenly pulled up from the wall you had slumped against, warm, familiar arms gently encasing you to his chest. Kihyun held you as you sobbed on him, breathing consoling words into your hair before urging you to get into his car a moment later.

“What happened?”

“Nina and I fought,” you whispered, glancing up at Kihyun’s worried expression. “It was… I guess it was eventually going to happen. I want out, Kihyun.”

“Out of your house? Why not tell her to—”

“No, I mean, I can’t keep doing this. Being just a voice. She’s right. I’m nothing special. No one knows I’m the voice of Starlet. And it’s not fair on her to be putting in all this effort to—”

“Don’t. For the love of God, please don’t say that you’re not worthy right now to me.”

“I don’t want to sing anymore,” you whispered, meaning it too.

Kihyun cursed before pulling you into his arms again, kissing you on the forehead gently. “Don’t make decisions when you’re this upset. Come on. I’ll take you back to mine tonight.”

It’s funny how things go. Amid all the chaos within your heart and mind, the relief of Kihyun’s comfort was short-lived.

Neither of you had expected your entire embrace to be caught on film.