soeun’s perspective

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“I can’t do this…” I whispered softly to myself, hating how I felt so weak and fragile. “I— can’t…” I cried out.

“Can’t do what?” Hyunjin questions, holding onto my hand to stop the shaking.

“Liking Soojin,” The grip on Hyunjin’s hand became tighter as my other hand clenched. I started shaking even more as I kept blurting things that I shouldn’t even be saying to her. I didn’t expect myself to let it all out on Hyunjin. “I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s the only thing that’s ever on my mind! I feel so embarrassed that I want to avoid her, but I can’t because I like her so much. I keep hearing the word friend all the time, and it hurts. Friends! It’s driving me crazy, I can’t!”

I could tell that Hyunjin wasn’t expecting this outburst. Silence ensued in the area, but I couldn’t blame her. “It’s okay, I know how it feels…” I wiped off some of the tears from the corner of my eyes, looking up at Jimin. “W-What do you mean?”

“I’m just— let’s just say I’m going through the same thing,” she was being cautious with her words, and for what? Why does she sound so cautious about what she says? I didn’t want to ask her and make it sound like I’m pressuring her into it, and I wasn’t.

“I-I… I don’t even know anymore,” she sniffled as she took a deep breath in. I could tell she was having a hard time as well, just like me. “I’m scared of losing her, and we’re so… close, and I don’t want to ruin that,” Hyunjin chuckles bitterly. “Sorry, this talk was supposed to be about you, not me. I’m sorry,” she apologized as I waved my hand at her, physically telling her that it was okay. “No— it’s okay. We’re going through the same thing, I think it’s good to let it all out.”

"Well yes, but actually no."

I looked at her confusingly, what did she mean? "Y-Yeah, our situations are similar, but... I-I, I don't even know if I should say this." Hyunjin stumbled over her own words, contemplating whether she should say it or not. "It's alright, we're friends aren't we? You can trust me. I told you about my problems, so tell me about yours," I reassured her. "Alright..."

Hyunjin sat straight up and straightened her back a bit, trying to calm herself down. “Well— I’ve always told Heejin that I love her, but all she ever says is “I’m sorry.” I’ve been telling her since our third year, and she always replies with the same thing! It hurts, I—” Hyunjin covered her face with her hands, not wanting me to see her in this state.

I could hear her trying to keep the sobs inside, and I felt bad. I know we’re not close with each other, but I understood her as we’re going through the same thing. This is really different, I’ve never seen Hyunjin like this. I’ve only ever seen her as the teasing and happy Quidditch Captain.

Hyunjin sighed weakly, biting her lower lip as she’s lost in her own mind. She’s really hurt and it shows. This escalated quickly from my problems to hers.

“It’s okay.”

『••✎••』

Soojin and I managed to get a seat and order two butterbeers at The Three Broomsticks after school was done for the week. I recommended going to this place, or well Hogsmeade for the weekend for a date. For our assignment.

A pretend date for a school assignment on a weekend. Doesn’t that sound fabulous?

I took a small peek over at Soojin as she stared at her butterbeer instead of drinking it. Soojin looked around The Three Broomsticks weirdly and began blushing out of nowhere.

Is she alright? Did something happen?

I was going to ask if she was alright until the door opened abruptly, bringing in the cool autumn breeze and having some leaves fall through the open door. I started to have chills and goosebumps all of a sudden from the cool air.

“Are you cold?” Soojin asks.

“I think my cheeks are…” I answered, putting my own palms on my cheeks, covering them with warmth. She hummed in response to what I said, eventually taking my hands and putting them down. “What are you—” I pouted as Soojin chuckled lightly. “They won’t be cold anymore,” Soojin looked at me in the eyes, while she proceeded to squish my cheeks and pinch them. “You’re so cute! I just want to squish your cheeks.”

“I’m— I’m not cute!” I lowered my head and stared at the table. I’m cute to Soojin?

“Whatever you say…”

“Are your cheeks still cold?” Soojin asks, holding my face in place as she continues to look at me in the eyes. I nodded my head a bit as she cooed in return from how ‘cute’ I am.

“Here,” I was expecting her to give me something to warm my cheeks, but instead she started leaning in. For a brief second, her lips were on my cheeks, and she kissed it. My eyes widened as Soojin leaned back. I don’t need to see it to know that my face and ears are red. “I— what was that for?” I came closer, hugging and holding onto her as I nuzzled into her neck. “What? Did you not like it? I can do it again,” I felt my face become impossibly hotter than it was before. Would she kiss me again? I’d love that. Of course, I would never admit it openly or vocally.

I latched onto Soojin, not wanting to let go because I didn’t want her to see how flustered I was. “We should— uhm… continue drinking our butterbeer.”

Just being near Soojin made me flustered, my heart was beating rapidly. I couldn’t think straight right now, but when was I ever straight in the first place?

How was Soojin capable of doing all these things to me? My hands were visibly shaking, and I tried to stop it by clenching my fists tightly. It wasn’t working, my clenched fists were still shaking. I felt her soft hand on my closed fist. She probably knows that I’m very tense right now.

I couldn’t register anything properly. I wasn’t functioning at all.

I looked up to see her staring at me once again, and I couldn’t figure out what her eyes were telling me. My mind was going haywire, and I couldn’t process anything.

I stared back at her as I felt myself melt into her gaze, forgetting the world around the both of us. As I got lost in her eyes, I felt myself calm down.

I could feel Soojin’s hand loosen over my clenched first, and my mind somehow started working a bit at this exact moment. I opened my clenched fist and held her hand, intertwining our fingers together. I felt Soojin’s thumb starting to rub along the back of my hand. Soojin’s eyes proceed to wander and fall down to my lips.

My lips?!

She bit her lower lip as she looked at mine, her hands trembling slightly in my hold. I could feel Soojin slowly pulling me closer. Our faces were inching closer, until a bell was heard at the door, signaling that someone entered the shop.