F O U R

Word of the Day – “Glaze”

Kyungsoo took in a mouthful of Takoyaki fresh off its pan. It wasn’t a good idea and he knew it. His mouth remained half-open while he attempted to cool it off by blowing on it and fanning his mouth with one hand at the same time.

“Easy, boy.” Wonsuk laughed while he flipped the uncooked Takoyaki balls.

“Yeah, I kno—this is the best midnight snack—oh god, it’s ing hot, I burnt my tongue.”

The old man laughed at him as he successfully swallowed the food. “Wash it off then, here.” Wonsuk lifted his glass of beer and Kyungsoo did the same. They made a rough toast before drinking. “Just one beer. Okay, Boss?” He reminded as he set the glass back on the table. “Yeah yeah, I know you’re driving. Just one beer.” Wonsuk laughed while nodding.

“It’s not about me driving. You need to watch your health, Boss.”

Wonsuk gave him a solemn smile before taking another sip of the beer. “I know I know. Today was just … quite a day for me, I needed a drink.”

In all honesty, Kyungsoo really didn’t mind drinking tonight. He didn’t mind eating Takoyaki at eleven in the evening either even though he needed to get ready for work at six in the morning tomorrow. He had gotten used to staying up late, use as much free time as he needed since he didn't have much going on in his life outside the kitchen anyway. After all, working in a restaurant, let alone being the Head Chef, isn’t a nine-to-five job.

“Does it show that … it still hurts me?” Wonsuk asked, making him look up at him again.

Kyungsoo blinked in confusion at the vague question. Wonsuk laughed at his reaction as he took three pieces of Takoyaki onto his plate. “I am aware that it will never be fair, it will never make sense to feel distant but every time I look at my daughter … I don’t know what to feel.” Slowly, Kyungsoo got what the man meant and his expression dropped. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad that she’s finally back. But … I forgot how much she reminds me of the past.”

Forcing an awkward chuckle, Kyungsoo grabbed himself another piece of Takoyaki but this time, he put it on his plate first. “She’s still a brat but … she’s a lady now.” He admitted and somehow, his smile turned more genuine upon the thought.

“She said she killed her mother. Kyungsoo, I made her feel that.”

Kyungsoo was quick to shake his head. “No, Boss. Don’t say that. You didn’t make her feel that but it’s also understandable if Miyoung feels that. It’s just that—”

“No, Kyungsoo. In the back of my head, every time I miss Eunjoo, I think about all the possibilities and as much as I hate feeling it, a part of me … sees my daughter and all I could see is that one last smile Eunjoo gave me when the baby started crying … while her hand started losing grip on mine.”

As much as he wanted to say something, Kyungsoo didn’t relate much. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing either. He knew it wasn’t right on Miyoung’s part. It hurt him to even hear it and he couldn’t imagine Miyoung hearing it herself. “Boss, don’t stress. It’s not good for your health.” The old man simply nodded before drinking his beer.

“I know, it’s just that … I was the one who insisted we don’t adopt. I was the one who pushed her to her death.”

Kyungsoo looked down upon the mention of the word adopt. He never liked the term all his life. “If you would have only met Eunjoo, you’ll understand the attachment I have for her. I asked for it and I got it but in return, I lost my wife and—”

“Boss, I’m sorry but … I don’t think dwelling on the past will make your relationship with your daughter any better. She doesn’t act like she needs anybody but if there’s one person that she would need, it’s just you.” Kyungsoo turned the Takoyaki pan off and placed the cooked pieces on the bigger plate on the center of the table. “I know firsthand. I never had parents but when I was younger, I always knew I wanted them even though I didn’t know what it felt like to have them.”

The two of them shared a toast once again before drinking at the same time until the bottoms of their glasses were up towards the ceiling of the pavilion. “Alright, let’s just finish this and I’ll let you go. I’m sorry for calling you over, I know it’s late.” Wonsuk laughed in embarrassment as he chewed.

“Are you kidding me, boss? I’ll never say no to free food.”

He made the old man laugh again. “Speaking of which, how many times do I have to tell you that you need to buy more clothes? Did you go to the meeting with the Cheon Corporation in that?” Kyungsoo looked down at his six-year-old blue button-down shirt. ”Why not? It’s not falling apart yet.” He threw his arms up in confusion. “They didn’t say anything, Boss. Don’t worry.”

Wonsuk palmed his forehead, still chuckling. “I don’t understand. You have money, what are you saving your money for? You live in a tiny bachelor's pad with your cat.”

“Boss, my apartment is not even that tiny. It's more like a loft. It doesn’t have divisions, yeah, but it’s huge. Even my balcony is huge. I don’t see the point of getting a roomed apartment, I am barely there anyway. If anything, it almost feels like Chef owns the place.” The old man’s laugh grew consistent as Kyungsoo proceeded to rant. “And what’s so bad about saving money for no reason? Clothes are so unnecessarily expensive now. I’m a chef, I’m not a celebrity. Clothes are just fabric that covers whatever you want to cover.”

“Just say you’re stingy, Kyungsoo.”

This time, he laughed in defeat. “Okay, fine—whatever you call it, Boss.”

Kyungsoo dropped his head as his laughter died down. “And also … I didn’t really bring all of my clothes with me when I moved out. I left most of it at home and—I don’t know, who knows, maybe she burnt them already.” The whole atmosphere instantly changed. “Then take them, Kyungsoo. It’s your clothes. If I were you, I wouldn’t leave a single thing in there. Unless you’re holding onto it on purpose.”

There was a brief silence until Wonsuk cleared his throat. “Are you?”

“No.” Kyungsoo avoided the man’s gaze and took a whole piece of Takoyaki into his mouth so that he didn’t need to talk for a while.

“You know, you’re going to have to tell me someday the reason for the divorce. Don’t you trust me? I’ve respected you for the past year and never asked about it but son, it’s been a year, things should be easier to discuss by now. Can’t I at least know a little bit?”

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