"Why looked at that. Beautiful isn't it?" said Seulgi while pointing to the beautiful blue sky.

"How lucky we are to come here. I heard the weather will be hideous today"

“Well we are lucky then” Irene hummed as she lean her head on Seulgi’s shoulder and smile while admiring the beautiful sky.

Just being here under the beautiful sky along with Kang Seulgi, her girlfriend, her fiance, sitting right next to her. There is nothing could been better than staying here with Seulgi.

One relaxing day outside the office. Not minding the board complain and just have one find day with her fiance. This is heaven on earth.

If only she could stay like this forever, forget about money, and just enjoy what God made for them. Admiring each and one of them. Irene would do anything to make her wish come true.

However, it just her own fantasy. Real world is a lot more cruel and sadly they live in it. No such thing as fantasy. 

Seulgi move her body, laying her body on Irene’s lap and just close her eyes. This kind of movement from Seulgi always make her heart go soft. Staring at her pretty face looking all so peaceful.

Irene cannot wait for their wedding day to come. Because afterward, Seulgi is her and forever will be. Therefore, she able to do anything she want with Seulgi. Part of it of course about . 

Just the thought about it really intriguing and Irene cannot help but to smirk at her little naughty, dirty thoughts.

“It will be nice to stay here forever, right?”

“There is no forever, Hyun”

That made Irene stop for a moment. Seulgi’s voice change into deep and serious. Making Irene a little confuse as she divert her attention on Seulgi. Only to be surprise with the sight she is seeing right now.

“Ahhh!” Irene cannot help but to scream and gets up.

Letting a lifeless body drop on the white sand. Bloods covering Seulgi’s face. Irene notice some of Seulgi’s body part are no longer there. To conclude, Irene cannot describe what she is seeing right now.

Completely shocking and scary. Her body shaking and her eyes getting teary once she put the dots together. This is not real.

“Hyun. You killed me”

“No. Seulgi. No”

“You should have told me to stay”

“S-Seulgi”

“You killed me”

“No. This is not real” 

“YOU KILLED ME!”

“NO!!!!”

 

“NO! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! SEULGI!” 

Her body ache from the sudden pain she’s feeling on her chest. She immedietly position herself to sit on her bed instantly once she open her eyes. 

. It was a dream.

She notice how her body are sweating a lot and her chest goes up and down fastly. Trying to get as much air inside her lung.

It was a dream. Nightmare. One of her hideous problem that even going to Kim Yerim doesn’t solve the problem.

Headache starts to invaded her head. Her hand trying to reach out the nearest night stand. Grab her medication that she always get it prepare next to her bed. Incase she wakes up like this. Well apparently, she always woke up like this.

Painful and she wish to throw the pain away. However, her best friends never understand her wishes. Irene sigh. After she drank her medication, she was about to go back to sleep when she notice a familiar figure at the corner of her room.

She was about to drink another medication when she stop. Hesitate at first whether she should or not. When suddenly she remember. 

“K-Kang Seulgi?” 

The figure standing next to the window in her bedroom move a bit closer to the light from outside. She’s there. Staring at her worriedly and at the same time guilt can be seen on her face. 

She simply standing there. Doing nothing but staring. Perhaps that is what she able to do. As a ghost. 

“You okay?” Asked Seulgi. 

Of course not.

“Yeah...the meds help” said Irene. 

Silence come between them as none of them continue to talk. Both of them drown into their own mind. They never been like this in the past.

Irene remember they will always being playful in this room. Seulgi teasing her all night and Irene would always end up in the losing side. Making Seulgi on top of her almost everyday.

To tell the truth, it was what made Irene always eager to come home. Because if coming back home means she able to witness Seulgi’s body everyday, then she had nothing to stop her from coming home right before sleep time.

But seems like after years of having the same love, some things does change. Fact that Kang Seulgi cameback as a ghost and she become so distant. So strong. Unlike the old Kang Seulgi and somehow it saddened Irene a lot. She wish to touch her again. To feel her again.

Just to bring back the old warm she used to feel back in the past. However, the new Kang Seulgi seems to make some distant between them. Building walls. For what? Irene doesn’t want to make assumption at all because she know every possibilities will hurt her.

Especially this one specific question. The most sacred and crucial question ever. Irene wanted to ask but she want to protect herself from getting hurt. She already have lot on her plate. Let’s not adding more.

“Do you want to talk about your nightmare?” Asked Seulgi.

No.

Irene hesitate. How can she not? Her nightmare always been about blaming her for Seulgi’s death.

And she doesn’t want Seulgi to know because it will definitely hurt her. 

As someone who live inside a hell loop where she able to hear the pain of her fiance, she knew most of her nightmares are about her guilt.

For sure, this one also the same. She walk a bit closer to Irene’s bed. Where she remember they would always cuddle here and had everynight. Sadly, it remain as memories. Though it pain her and being here really suffocating her, Irene begged her to stay.

That is the least thing she can do and after all, she want to accompany Irene. So that once she wakes up she won’t be alone. Once she’s close enough, she wanted to reach out to Irene but then she forget. She’s ghost. So she retreat her hand back.

“Seulgi”

“It wasn’t your fault, Hyun. It never was” said Seulgi. 

It was hard for both of them. They both wanting each other comfort so bad but the nature happen to hate their love to each other.

Seulgi wanted so bad to erase those tears away from Irene’s face. For her Irene always ugly when she’s crying. As for Irene, she wanted to hug Seulgi so bad. Everytime she cry, she would always lean in for a hug. But now...they can’t.

“I-I should have stop you”

“No one knows the future, Hyun” 

“But if I...If I just hold on to you a little longer. I might able to prevent you from going”

“It was my fate”

“No. I-it was never your time to go” Seulgi sigh.

“You’re not God, Hyun” said Seulgi.

Seulgi notice the way she spoke. Mean and clearly it made Irene hurt deeply. Irene keep on wondering where is her soft, clingy, playful Kang Seulgi?

Did death really change her? Then maybe she shouldn’t wish to die if she will meet the new Kang Seulgi. 

“I’m sorry” said Seulgi.

“No. You’re right. I’m not God” Seulgi sigh.

She very much know that tone. Everytime Irene gets angry at her, she would always glare at her and agreed with her though the fact is completely the opposite. 

“Hyun”

Instead of dealing with Kang Seulgi, Irene felt like there is nothing more to talk about. So, she get herself ready to go back to sleep. Dig her body in to the blanket and close her eyes.

For now, it’s best not to talk to the real Kang Seulgi. She wish she never notice the real Kang Seulgi. What is more surprising is that Irene might prefer her own hallucination than the real Kang Seulgi.

Meanwhile, Seulgi sigh. She knew she was at fault here. However, Irene had shut herself out from her. The sign is clear and it’s time for her to go. Although she doesn’t want to, maybe a little time for both of them would be a good idea.

After all, this is might a bit too shocking and surprising for Irene. Giving her soace and time to think, to cool herself would be a good idea. 

So that night, both lover went separate ways. Just like years ago when the crash happened. 

.

.

.

I hate you Kang Seulgi.

 

“How was your sleep last night?”

Disaster.

“It was nice. I slept pretty well” said Irene.

“That’s new”

That’s a lie, Kim Yerim.

“Well, you wouldn’t want to hear the same news all over again, right?”

Yeri smile after she took some notes on her paper. Whatever she’s writing, Irene used to get so curious. However, her curiousity dies the moment Yerim caught her reading those paper.

Irene wasn’t supposed to read that and fact is she didn’t even get the chance to read the first sentence. But since she caught red handed, Irene promise herself to never touch anything that belongs to a psychiatrist. 

She concluded that a psychiatrist is a psycho and ‘do not touch my thing or else you’ll die’ freak. At the end of the day, Irene decided to let her curiousity die and never ever touch Yeri’s thing ever again.

“Oh well. That’s okay. It always been about progress, unnie. So, you did have nightmares last night, right?” 

Also, you cannot lie to a psychiatrist. Especially to Kim Yerim. .

“Jennie didn’t turn off the CCTVs, huh?”

“She actually did. Enough trying to find how I know. I’m your psychiatrist. Of course I can read your psy behavior. You’ve been having those nightmares since long time ago. To actually put those nightmare aside will need years to cool them down. And for you to finally reach that final, you need to heal yourself”

Heal. They actually believe I can heal. 

Irene scoffs. Her habit when she doesn’t know what to answer. 

“So, tell me how do you deal with it?”

“Deal with it?” Yeri nodded.

She’s crazy, right? The only way I could deal with it was with the meds she prescribed me! 

“Why are we doing this? You said we will be doing something different”

“You came here as a patient. This is where it gets different. We’ve been doing session through session and we never get anywhere. I want you to be here physically, mentally, and your thought should focus in our session. Can you do that?” 

So, we’re still doing this talking session. I don’t see the different. 

“If you’re not willing to be here fully, I won’t hesitate to call the board member and get you fired immedietly. As you can see here, I have direct call to the board member. So, I ask you again. Can you do that?”

Ah. She’s getting scarier. That’s the different. Okay now I’m scared. 

Irene take her time to stare at Yeri. Trying to find the slightest lie within Yeri’s eye. But she found nothing. Which mean she’s telling the truth. 

This is new for her and obviously this is the first time Yeri being so hard on her. Before she would be very soft and patience with her. Perhaps now she would like to draw the line here. Yeah. Irene has gone too far.

She sigh. 

“Alright” said Irene. 

“Great. Now. How do you deal with that?” 

Despite how much she found this question quiet absurd, she must answer it. Honesty is where her integrity lies. 

“I-uhmm, I took the meds” said Irene finally.

Again, Yeri take notes on the paper before she proceed on her interogation.

“And then what you did?”

“I went back to sleep” Yeri hummed.

Irene raise her eyebrow. Yeri is not the only one who able to read her behavior. Spending most of her time in the past with Yeri, she know when the psychiatrist think she’s wrong and she is not.

The way Yeri only hummed and take time before she talk again, only mean what she did last night was wrong. Irene can feel Yeri is judging her.

“You think I did wrong?”

“No. What you did is completely normal” 

“Really?”

She put down the paper and took of her glasses. A very common body language from Yeri.

“Yes. It is normal in your condition”

“My condition?” 

“You’re stuck with your own past and what you did last night was you trying to avoid your guilt”

Hah! This is new.

“It’s a common reaction when you unable to accept your past. You’re trying to keep your guilt there. That’s why you went to sleep instead of distracting yourself. You're trying to keep your guilt”

“I don’t”

“You can deny whatever you want but that’s the fact. You’re trying to keep your guilt there and so you’re avoiding any kind of distraction that could make your guilt go away”

Irene can deny it but deep down she know it’s true. Very much true. However, she doesn’t like to show it. 

Although she knew that is very much useless because Kim Yerim is a smart psychiatrist. 

“If it’s true that I want to hold on with the guilt, then what do you suggest me to do?”

“First, it’s true. Admit it and instead of you asking my suggestion. I want to give you a prescription” 

That’s not new. Isn’t that what she always gave me and I always ask her for more dosis but she never give it to me? Wait. Don’t tell me...

Irene looked at Yeri who is now very occupied writing something on that familiar paper size A5. Look at her! She’s opening a prescription. 

“No! You can’t do that!”

“Apparently I can. I will decrease your dosis”

“I ask you to increase the dosis now you decrease it?! I cannot sleep!”

“I told you. We will do something different. I cannot play soft on you unnie. I’m sorry but I have to do this”

“You’re killing me”

“I’m helping you” Irene scoffs.

A hard knock on the table made Irene divert her attention to the paper Yeri put on the table. Terrified look is what Joohyun gave to Yeri. Meanwhile Yeri lean her back on the chair with a light smile on her face.

Meaning she win this little competition. All these years Yeri was the one who give in. She always let Irene win. Now she’s trying to win the competition. 

“Now. Let’s continue, shall we?”

 

Staring at the 20th floor building. Last time she came here was because of that one specific person. Now she came here by her own will. Surprising. Perhaps that person will be surprise to see her here too. 

Take a deep breathe surely needed. Whenever she came here, it was always suffocation. Especially after that accident. But she’s here not to mourn. She’s here for something more important. 

Chin up. Back straight up. Walk with confidence and firm. The sliding door open as soon as she step in the front. Walking right to the front office and a pretty young lady smile at her. Wendy smile back. 

“Hello good afternoon. Welcome to Bae’s Enterprise. How can I help you today?” Said the lady who Wendy knew by her name tag as Jihyo.

“Hello, Dahyun. Good afternoon. I am here to meet with Bae Irene. Yes. The CEO. You can just tell her a friend of Kang Seulgi is here to meet her” said Wendy confidently.

“Ah, I see. But I’m afraid Miss Bae isn’t here” 

That was unpredictable. For what she heard, Bae Irene has been drowning herself at work. Making her presence always seen in the office. So she thought she might see Bae Irene here.

Perhaps she was wrong. Then the question is, where is she now?

“Well, that’s very unfortunate. Can I know where she is?” 

“I’m sorry. But it’s cla-“

“Classified, yes. I know” said Wendy.

Can’t believe after years not coming back here, something don't change and remain the same. She used to heard that sentence a lto when she came to visit her...no. More like she came here to torture the CEO. 

But every each of her employees said wherever she goes, it’s very classified. It’s like she wanted her presence to be unknown and secret. 

Now. Where she could be right now? Maybe she have a glimpse of where the CEO might at right now.

“Alright. Thank you, Dahyun. Have a nice day”

“Have a nice day, miss” 

 

“How about your hallucination? Is it getting worse?”

“Well it’s about to get worse to know you’re decreasing my dosis” 

“Unnie”

“I’m trying here, okay?! The fact you gave me lower dosis really annoyed me” 

Yeri sigh. 

They have been in the room doing session for almost three hours. First round was they arguing with each other about the dosis. Second round they talk about how she should deal with her guilt.

However, turns out they argued again for one hour because Irene cannot accept that the only way for her to deal with her guilt is to do meditation. She’s a very impatient person. Doing meditation only make her even more crazy.

Irene gave her suggestion. Maybe trying a home workout with personal trainer might be a good idea. But Yeri completely against that idea. In her opinion, Irene need to control her emotion and by doing home workout does not make her practice to control her emotion.

Home workout will only make her lose control of her emotion. Rather than controling, Irene might have potential on hurting herself again in the future. Which obviously Irene objected that idea. That arguments ends with no solution other than Yeri insisted that Irene must do meditation.

Yeri had schedule her for meditation class every Saturday night. Which of course Irene hate that and was about to decline the offer when Yeri threaten her.

Right. That’s a good word. Yeri threaten her that she will call the board member. Maybe Irene shouldn’t IPO her company. 

Now they are in third round! Talking about her hallucination. 

“You can try by giving me simple answer, unnie. Is your hallucination keeps bothering you?” 

Irene scoffs. She want to argue more but she can’t. Pressure. Yes. Irene felt very much pressure. This is why she hate going to psychiatrist.

“No”

“Then why you ask more dosis?”

“Yes! It bothers me! Happy now?” Yeri hummed.

“Alright. Let’s end our session”

“What?”

“You hear me”

She confuse. Yeri just asked her about that and now she refuse to continue this topic? Letting the topic unfinished? Hang in the air just like that?

Kim Yerim. You son of a !

The psychiatrist stand up from her sit and walk to her table. Gathering her things on the desk. Look like she’s going somewhere. 

“You left me hanging just like that? What game are you playing?!” 

“I want you to think”

“Think?! Aren’t you suppose to give suggestion? Advice? That’s your job!”

“Do keep in mind unnie that you are my special case. So don’t compare your session with the others. Now will you excuse me, I need to attend a meeting” said Yeri before she left the room leaving Irene alone confuse and annoyed.

Sometimes Irene wonder if Yeri really is a very experienced psychiatrist. The way she’s treating her somehow different from the other.

Maybe Yeri really mean it that she want to make their session together work. Irene sigh. Now going to session with Yeri will seems a lot heavier than before.

When she was about to leave the room, she cursed herself for not asking Yeri about the board member. She was supposed to help Seulgi with that.

Ah! Talking about Seulgi. Where is that girl? She didn’t see her this morning. Perhaps she made her really upset last night.  Or maybe it was her hallucination?

Irene doesn’t know or more likely she’s not sure if Seulgi really is real. 

For years her mind has been playing with her mind and still it is too hard for her to accept the whole thing. Although she managed to find the different, Irene still haven’t got the answer how the hell Seulgi able to comeback.

Anyway, after a very long and tiring sessiong with Yeri, getting out from the building felt a lot lighter. She can finally breathe the fresh air. 

However, seems the world hate her so much. First, Seulgi is back. Still cannot believe the situation. Second, Yeri session gotten a lot heavier than before. And now this?

“Irene, long time no see"

 

 

 

It appears I accidently spoiler some of the stories....my mistake...sorry.... :(