Two months ago

"I am not going. Do you hear me, Kim Jennie?" 

"You're no fun, unnie! I am trying to help here okay? This is exactly what your therapist want you to do! Live a life! Get hook up with someone!" 

The girl in her white blazer groan as she put down the report she got from her secretary earlier. A report from the board. When papers came down from the board, you will never receive goodness inside it.

Much more bring frustration to your day though you already had enough stressful meeting in the morning until the afternoon. They don't ing care about it. What they care is their own money.

She done everything they asked yet they still seem very unsatisfied. Though she already please them with everything they asked her before! They are the reason why she went to psychiatrist though she said to them she is damn okay.

But they have some trust issue with her. Nothing personal. Just it runs in everyone who is part of the board in every company. 

"The least thing I want to do is...hook up with someone, okay? I already have plenty on my desk. No need to add more cruality on my desk" 

"Joohyun unnie!"

"What?!"

Only people who are close to her call her with that name and when Jennie call her with that name, she is being damn serious.

Jennie sigh with her disappointed face. All she is trying to do is helping her cousin. That's all. However, Bae Irene is quiet a stubborn, hard headed person she ever met.

Even her mother agreed with her. But it gets a lot worse after what happened to her girlfriend. She died in a plane crash several years ago. Yet Bae Irene still stuck in the past. Her feeling remain the same until now.

Nothing can change that. Well, everyone who put herself in Bae Joohyun's position get it. The pain of losing someone you love so much and about to get married next month, it was very much traumatic.

Kim Jennie always there for Irene. Help her getting better. After years, she thought Irene is getting better. Otherwise, she wouldn't left the country for work. 

Well, if she knew her cousin having nightmares everyday, halucination almost everytime, and she secretly having a thought of ending her life, Jennie wouldn't left.

If she get that chance again, she will never leave Irene's side. Truth is that Bae Irene can't never move on from her late girlfriend and she is a very fantastic and extraordinary actress who happened to fooled everyone including, Kim Jennie.

That's why she managed to left the country for work. Didn't realize it was an opportunity for Irene to end her life because her babysister left. But like God knows everything and plan everything ahead, Irene plan was ruined.

How?

Park Sooyoung, a.k.a Joy, her best friend came to her apartment that day. To her surprise, Irene was ready to end her life. Joy need to calm Irene down for an hour before she able to pull her away from the hanging rope.

Since that day, Jennie knew she has failed. Failed to protect her cousin. When she heard the news, she bought flight ticket that will departure in an hour. She left her work and she was fired afterward.

But it doesn't matter for her. What matter the most was and still is her cousin safety.

Like every other years, today is just like the other day. Jennie helping Irene on finding someone for her to hook up. She heard that Doctor Kim suggested her cousin to go on a date.

Live a life and find her own purpose. Which she obviously answer sarcastically. Said that she own a company and keep the business running is her life purpose.

So, she denied the offer and left the session.

Only resulted she got a warning from the board. That if she didn't do the session well, they might need to step her down from being the CEO. That's what she just received from the board.

"Just this one, please? You need to follow what you psychiatrist said so that you will still be able to run this company in the future! Aren't you scared everything you have will belong to someone else just because of your rudeness and recklesness?!" said Jennie.

Irene scoffs. 

But she cannot talk back because what Jennie said was true. She is scared and worried at the same time. However, how can she go on a date with some strangers when her heart still cannot accept what happened in the past?

How can she...forget the last person that love her deeply and understand her so much? How? 

And the fact that Kim Yerim, her psychiatrist really betrayed her by telling the board member the whole truth about their session the other day, makes her even more angry.

However, Doctor Kim just did her job. She cannot blame her for doing her job and sure she unable to yell at Kim yerim because she will probably tell Joy and the next day she will meet with angry Joy at the office.

Of course, she wouldn't want that to happen because she have a lot on her plate already. The least thing she want is to see people get angry at her. 

Ever since that day...ever since she tried to...you know...she never been the same after her girlfriend left. She can't even go on a date though some of her friends tried to help her.

At the end some of them quitted on helping her because everything was useless. Bae Irene remain the same. Nothing change. Now that her psychiatrist told her to date, people starting to hook her up with some strangers.

If only Joy didn't stop her that day, she would probably with her girlfriend right now. Just...maybe. 

"Please, unnie? At least if you don't want to do this for you, you should think you are doing this for me. You surely don't want me live alone in this world, right?" 

Jennie begged. She begged with her doe eyes. Irene love Jennie. She is the only cousin that are close to her. Other reason is because she also the only child. 

Back in the past, she spent most of her days with Jennie. Weekend she would go to Jennie's house since she get lonely sometimes during weekends. Her parent barely at home. That's why she felt lonely.

So, she went to Jennie and they grew up together basically. Yeah, they are close. Only two years a part. 

Yes. She's right. Irene wants to die. She's tired. Lonely. She would like to end everything this instant. She has no purpose to live after her love died. The only reason why she's still here is because her friends are keeping in touch with her.

More like spying her moves everyday. So that she unable to end her life again. 

If she go for this unnecessary date for Jennie, perhaps Jennie will shut the up. All she need right now is peace and silent. It would be even better if she gets to end her life right now. 

Irene sigh.

"Alright" said Irene gave up.

The chubby girl smile widely and jump around. Gosh! She's 24 years old but act like a child!

"You won't regret it, unnie! She's a very nice person really! This is the address. Dress nicely because she will invite you for a dinner! Make good impression, okay?"

Once she receieved the address on her phone, she widen her eyes.

"Tonight?!"

"Don't sound so surprise, unnie! The faster you go, the faster you will heal! Annyeong!" 

Heal.

.

.

.

What if I don't want to heal?

When was the last time she dress up for a proper date? A month before she left. Leaving her all alone in this cruel world. Who apparently still not enough after taking her girlfriend away from her, now they want to take the company from her too.

Great. Just ing great. What could be more fun than ruining her life, right world? 

Despite how much she disagree with this...date that Jennie arranged for her, she still dress nicely. Not wanting to be rude with the other party. She want to look...presentable and that she respect whoever her date will be.

Jennie told her that whoever her date is today will pick her up. However, Irene told her she will be in the restaurant by herself. She doesn't want stranger to come to her house.

Not just dangerous she also doesn't want new party to come in to the only place she spent her last time with her girlfriend. She's not ready to let new people come in to her life.

She look at her reflection on the mirror one last time, before she took that sacred thing(her medication) and left her penthouse. 

When she said her best friends are watching her move, it's true though. The plug CCTV in her penthouse without her consent, which obviously violating her privacy.

But at the end she didn't argue more though. If she allow them to do that, the faster they zip their mouth. The least thing she want to hear is her friends being all annoying and chatty to her.

So, yeah. She let them plug those and after years, she get used to it. More like she sometimes forget her moves are being watch. By Kim Jisoo, Park Sooyoung, and Kim Yerim, apparently.

In exchange of that, Kim Jennie doesn't need to stay in her penthouse to keep eyes on her. Before she would sleep in her penthouse everyday. Almost making her penthouse as hers too. Which she hated because this place...is the place she want herself and her girlfriend build a family together.

They exchange it with a CCTV. Though for the first two years, Irene cannot help but to feel so intimidated, scared, and paranoid, at the end she get used to those CCTVS. 

Anyway! So yeah. Basically they watching her every move. Including hiring bodyguards to keep her safe. Watching her from far and when she want to do something crazy, they will be the first person to come and prevent her from any kind of suspicious moves from her.

Irene sigh. Knowing even in this set up date she will remain being watch from far. Making her feel uncomfortable yet she cannot argue with that. Or else, she will lose her company.

all of you, thought Irene. 

The restaurant located not far from where she live. She's glad though. Therefore, if her date happens to be annoying, she will leave immedietly. She doesn't want to waste her time on someone useless. 

Pardon her behavior. Bae Irene is very blunt.

Her cauver, Key, help opening her door and afterwards, he left. Leaving his boss in the restaurant lobby. 

Irene chuckle.

Italian restaurant. Just perfect.

What was her date name again? She forget. Great. Now how can she know if her date is here already? The reservation apparently under her name. Great. 

"Uhmm... excuse me?" 

She turn around and oh god.

"Bae Irene-sshi?" said the girl.

Irene can't even blink her eyes. Showed how much she very surprise. More like stunned by the beauty infront of her. The person infront of her dress up with her black blazer and a plain black shirt underneath. 

She let her hair fall down perfectly with natural wave. Overall, she's wearing all black. Making Irene wonder if she just got back from a funeral. But somehow, she cannot deny how intriguing the person infront of her.

Wondering if this is her tonight's date because she will really kill Kim Jennie tomorrow morning. How can she set her up with someone so beautiful? She's too perfect in Irene's eyes.

And perfect definitely not in her list. No one even the most perfect(beautiful person) in the world would want to date a sick person like her. Dealing with her craziness. No way.

"Y-yes?" said Irene. She didn't even know why she's stuttering right now.

"Ah, great! I thought you were someone else. I've been asking every possible person that came here" said the girl lightly with a smile and a little sigh. Making her eyes close a little and her lips goes upward. 

Definitely wrong. This is wrong. Somehow, she can see a glimpse of her late girlfriend on this person face. No. She told herself not to think about her late girlfriend.

She always think about her. Every single day. But she want to respect her date. That's why she try her best to erase her girlfriend from her mind. However, though the person infront of her who is actually her tonight's date, look very stunning and intriguing, her heart only beat for her girlfriend.

Always.

No doubt she can change that. 

"Ah. Sorry. My name is Kim Jisoo. You can call me Jisoo" said Jisoo while offering Irene a hand for handshake. 

Irene gladly accept it and smile a little.

"Bae Irene. You can call me Irene" said Irene. 

"Yes, yes. I know you" Irene lean backward. Surprise with the sudden confession.

Jisoo realize it and she grinned.

"Other than you being famous as the most popular, smart young CEO and even have your picture on Forbes magazine. We went to the same high school together"

That even more surprising. At first Irene thought this girl is her stalker. But apparently she's right. Her face is everywhere. So, yeah. Everybody is a stalker, she guess.

But to the point that their were in the same high school, how come Irene never saw her? Then how the hell Jennie know her but she don't? She can't seem to remember Jisoo's face back in high school.

"Ah! How about we talk about how the hell I know you but you don't know me, once we get inside and order our food?" Jisoo suggested.

Well, that's a good offer. Until now, Irene realize this Jisoo girl is quiet charming and gentle...woman...that...does sound right. 

Anyways, Irene nodded and they get inside together. Lead by the waitress towards their table which is right next to the restaurant window. Irene chuckle the moment they got there.

Perhaps, Jennie told Jisoo to sit close to the window so that whoever watching her right now, able to see her clearly from outside the restaurant. Brilliant.

"Ah! So you were the shy little girl who never talk until school was over?" Jisoo nodded with a smile on her face. Remember her past was not something easy or special.

She was so quiet and the only person who is brave enough to approach her was Kim Jennie. Jennie wanted to introduce her to Irene back then. However, Jisoo ran away before Irene came. 

At that time, Irene already in a relationship with her late girlfriend. While Kim Jisoo, she's just afraid to approach new people. So, she always hide herself from everyone except Kim Jennie.

Yet, here she is. Being a completely different person after graduating from high school. Irene smile at herself. People actually change. How can I not? That thought sounds funny for her.

"You can said it like that. Yeah. I'm a very super shy person during school" said Jisoo grinned.

"Hmm" Irene hummed.

They have been talking for 15 minutes while eating their dinner. Honestly, Irene been to Italian restaurant before with her girlfriend. Every minute, it reminds her of the past.

Sure this is not a good thing. But things will get worse when someone uninvited approache her. 

"Excuse me. Need to use the bathroom" said Jisoo as she excuse herself.

Now, she's all alone. 

"I died because of you and now you get the nerve to date someone?"

, said Irene.

That voice again. It's just a voice. No. She was wrong. The owner of that voice standing there. 5 feet away from where she is sitting right now. Staring at her with her sad face.

Irene gulped as she begin having cold sweat. A habit she always has every time she is nervous and scared. 

She close her eyes hoping that person would be gone and that voice too. However, she know it will only be useless. But she try. She try so damn hard. Right.

Her medication.

Quickly, she grabbed her pouche and search for her medication. But it was too late.

"You don't love me anymore? Is that why you decided to start on a date? Why? I thought we love each other forever"

False. 

Irene will always love her. Always. Despite how many times she tried to forget her, Irene always find herself going back to square one. 

She's stuck in her own hell loop. Very much hell on earth.

"You're not real. You're not real"

"How can you leave me like this? When you responsible for my death"

"Stop. You know I love you. I did what I need to do but they holding me back!"

"No. It means you don't love me. If you really love me, you would really do it. No hesitation"

"Stop. Stop"

"You don't love me. You never love me. Look at you now! You went out on a date! You never love me! You LIE!"

"STOP! YOU'RE WRONG! I ING LOVE YOU, KANG SEULGI!"

Eyes teary. Breathing uncontrollably. Surprisingly she stood up from her seat and yelled at the person she saw standing there. 

She's there. Irene is sure she saw her there. But blinks after blinks, she realize that person is never there.

She was...hallucinating.

Hands trembling. Scared and angry. People are staring at her. Even the waitress came to her to ask if she's alright. However, voices around her muffled and her vision starts to get blurry.

This is wrong. 

As she look around her, someone came approach her and call her name.

"Irene-sshi? Are you okay?"

She need to get out of here. Those stare are making her suffocating. Air. She need air and space. 

"I'm sorry. My friend is feeling unwell. Please charge the food to this address. My secretary will pay for it. Thank you. Really appreciate your understanding" 

And Jisoo help Irene getting out of the restaurant only to meet with Kim Jennie and two bodyguards. Irene didn't notice since she's very much occupied with her own mind.

Her vision also blurry and the sound around her muffled. 

Seems like Kim Jennie has been spying them since the beginning. Well, she promise herself to never leave Irene alone. Because this is what you get from leaving her alone.

Either it public places nor private, this will happen.

"Thank you, Jisoo. We'll take it from here" 

"Is she going to be okay?" asked Jisoo worriedly.

"Soon" said Jennie before she left with Irene.