# 42
My Hot Babe
"Hae... thank you..."
Donghae smiles. Hands clasped around Hyukjae's waist. The food's mostly eaten. The cake they couldn't finish. They'll have to take it inside. But a few drinks were had. Made Hyukjae settle into his lap.
He kisses him softly.
"Thank you too," Donghae says. "For five years of... knowing what love is, and three beautiful years of marriage..."
"You make them beautiful."
"No, baby, you do."
"No, you do, baby."
"You make me smile the minute I open my eyes."
"You make me smile when my eyes are closed, Hae."
Donghae chuckles. Pulls his face down for a kiss.
"I've never seen you smile in your sleep. You're always like this." He juts his lips out. Nothing like Hyukjae's plump pouting lips. Every morning.
Hyukjae giggles. Pecks his lips. "But I'm smiling inside, Hae. That you're with me."
"Okay... me too, then."
They share another kiss. Sweet and slow.
Donghae looks into Hyukjae's eyes. They glimmer. Reflect the lights around them. He is still in his robe. Which has exposed his chest. His legs. Donghae places a kiss on his neck. Where there's already a mark. From before.
"Baby..."
"Mm."
"Thank you for doing this with me... I know it isn't easy for you..." Donghae says. Eyes on his. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you ahead of time, before I planned for it... I thought... I don't know. That it'll be more difficult. If it was all set... I could try harder to convince you... I just want to make more memories with you. I always think... we could be doing lots of things you enjoy... but you're giving those up for me... I really hate it... we don't do so many things you love because you're worried about me..."
Hyukjae's eyes glimmer more. From tears now.
"But I love you more than all those things, Hae... I always love you more... I can give up anything for you."
"Hyukjae..." Donghae says. Sets his head into his neck. "You shouldn't. I want you to love me and keep all of what you already have and love."
"Hae, me too. T-That's why I... I want to be careful. You've worked so hard and for so long. KRYD has a strong fandom. I don't... want to be the reason any of that changes... I can't..."
"Honeybun," Donghae says. Wipes his tears. "No. I understand what you mean. We've worked hard. The group has come a long way. We've been so loved. We've had success. It's all been amazing. But that's a stage of our lives. It's great, but at some point, it will be in the past. It's the same for the fans. They have lives too. They'll have to accept the members loving and getting married... Hyukjae, I don't want to hold back in my love for you, just so I can keep those fans' love for longer, the fans who will eventually leave and have their own lives and freedom. You s-said... why do I have to talk about you. Mention you. It's because... I think, maybe if they see how much I love you, if they see you how I do, they'll understand. That they won't say things about you or me, things that hurt you, us. If they knew what my Hyukjae was like, they couldn't possibly hate him..."
Hyukjae's smile is sad. Donghae understands. That he thinks it'll never happen.
"B-But they..." Donghae says. "They want things from me that they know I can't give them, they want me to be someone I'm not, to pretend I'm not the happiest with you, the love of my life, and I feel that it takes me away from you, and my time and love for you. I want to love you Hyukjae, not them. They can't have me either, and they know that. If I can still be with the members as a
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