I stirred from my sleep that when I opened my eyes, I was in a very white room.

I groaned, the pain on my head was increasing with the brightness of everything around me. Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw that I was in a hospital room. 

I checked myself and I saw that I was connected to an IV drip and my clothes were from the hospital itself.

I also had bruises on my arms. I tried to remember what happened last night but my memory was fuzzy. I then heard the toilet flushing and I saw Jisoo emerging from the bathroom.

Her expression didn't change when she saw me looking at her weirdly. "Oh good. You're awake. Do you want a glass of water?"

"Yes, please." I croaked. My throat was too dry and it hurt to speak. She gave me a tall glass of water and I gulped everything in one go.

"Thirsty, aren't you?" She snickered but returned the glass on the tray beside my bed.

I nodded, reveling at my now damp lips and throat. "What happened, Chu? Why am I here?"

"You don't remember?"

I shook my head, "No. But I have a hunch. Where are the others?"

She gave me a light punch on the arm, probably adding to the bruises or she just made me her punching bag while I was knocked out cold.

"Ohooo, you think you're famous, huh? Do you expect everyone crowding here in this small room because you fainted?"

I blushed. I gave her a shy smile. "That's not what I meant. The other two, where are they?"

She laughed, seeing my flustered state. "I was just messing with you, Lisa. They're home. I think they plan to come here later in the afternoon."

I nodded, "How long was I asleep? What time was I rushed here? Does my family know?"

I grimaced, my head throbbed suddenly. "Hey! Hey. One at a time okay? Lie down first."

When I settled into the hospital bed, she explained that I collapsed while Chaeyoung and I were in the kitchen. I closed my eyes after hearing that, blocking everything out even what she's saying.

Jennie's going to confess to Jisoo. Jennie loves her. I love Jennie, but I'm still doubting that part. Maybe I was just super infatuated with my fellow member and not inlove? Or maybe it was just pure admiration and respect with how dedicated she is in everything she does and I had mistaken it with love?

How ed up my life really is?

"Hey. Hey, Lisa. What happened? Why are you crying?"

I opened my eyes slowly and saw that Jisoo was slightly panicking. I wiped the tears and smiled, "Nothing, unnie. I'm fine."

I'm trying to be fine. That's all I could do for now, right? To pretend. To lie. To smile.

"Do I need to call the doctor?"

I shook my head. "Do you want me to call Jennie?"

I flinched upon hearing the name. I looked at her and her eyes that were always so mischievious looked calm and soft.

"What?"

No. Not you, too. No...

"The doctors can't help you but maybe she can heal you."

Oh my gods, oh gods no. My eyes widened while I stare at her. My heart grew heavier by the second and I was getting breathless. . She knows too. Oh gods. 

I felt my throat constricting and I suddenly gasped for air. Tears sprung out of my eyes and Jisoo looked at me in shock and quickly dialled something on her phone.

"Pick up. Pick up. Pick up." She kept muttering this while trying to comfort me. "Lisa? Lisa. Breathe. Please, breathe."

"Chaeng! Finally! She's having an attack. What should I do?"

I closed my eyes, feeling everything in my body tensed. Oh gods, help me. I'm scared. I can't breathe. I tried to scratch my throat, forcing myself to breathe but all I could do was wheeze and panic and cry.

You're ing pathetic Lisa. You can't even properly breathe like a normal person right now.

"Okay. I'll give the phone to her now but if it doesn't work, I'll call the doctor."

With her slightly trembling hand, she handed me the phone. I gripped it tightly while focusing on Chipmunk's voice.

"Lisa? Lisa. Listen to me, okay? Focus on my voice and follow what I say, okay?"

I tried to speak but what came out was a half groan and a whimper. 

"Inhale, Lisa. Then slowly exhale. Close your eyes. Imagine me infront of you. Listen to my voice. Keep doing it."

After a few minutes of Chaeyoung calming me down, I finally normalized my breathing. She sighed when she heard me say that I am okay. She hung up the call after that saying that they're already on their way here.

When I glanced at Jisoo, she was looking at me warily. Her face looked almost afraid of what she could cause again. Her hands were tucked neatly behind her, as if holding or calming me would break whatever that's left of me that's intact.

She bowed her head, her voice thick with wary and apology.

"I'm sorry, Lisa. I didn't mean to trigger your attack. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

I held her hand and squeezed it tightly. Her hands were slightly trembling, a rare happening for me to witness. It's not common for her to show her weakness to us and seeing her like this tight now made me realize how scary it was for her to see me struggling to breathe.

"It's not your fault, Chu. I'm okay now. Don't worry about it."

She sighed then squeezed my hand again. "I believe you