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BGM:

Taemin feat. Taeyeon, If I could tell you. 

Apink, Hug me

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Yongsan, South Korea. 

June, 2021.

“Left, left, left, right, left.”

“Salute!” The sergeant shouted, as Taemin raised up his hands sharply, along with the hundreds of men around him.

With his entry to the training camp — from crowded fans to sideway glances from his recruits, he knew military life wasn’t going to be easy. Looks and mumbles followed him wherever he went.

“Hey hey! That’s Taemin! SHINee’s Taemin!”

“Guys who sang ring ding dong?”

“Ring ding dong? That’s so long ago. More like the guy who sang move!”

“Move! The y dance!”

“Oh! What? He’s with us?”

“Oh my… a celebrity is here…”

“Gosh… that’s why there was all those crowd on the first day…”

Spending more than half of his life as a celebrity, he thought he was used to all the spotlight, but in the barracks, everything got amplified. He felt like he reverted back to his timid, young self, who would stay and hide inside a shell, unwilling to get close to anybody. He remained silent most of the time, knowing that if he speaks, more looks will follow him and fearing for saying the wrong thing. At night, when his disrupted sleep schedules were forced to normalise, he would stare at the dark ceiling above him, hearing snores and buzzes around him. Shots of him standing on stage flew by, as he wondered what would he be doing, if he wasn’t in here. Shots of his family, his friends, s and his fans snapped by, until they reach the woman he longed for.

What would she be doing now?

Filming for her latest drama? Hopefully there weren’t be any kiss scenes…

Shooting for a new CF? He must buy more of them when he gets a chance then…

Meeting her friends at a cafe? He must thank Stephanie for the things she did last time…

Visiting galleries? Going to their usual church? Doing pilates? He found his lips lifted into a trembling curl as her smile appeared in his mind.

As the moon rose quickly and time ticked by, he sighed, forcing himself to fall asleep.

……

At 6AM sharp, the national anthem rang in his ears, along with the sergeants’ shouts and whistles.  He shot out of bed, began his day with a stretch, before rushing out of his sheets and fixing his bed.

It was his fifth week of training camp, before he will be sent to the military band. Here, new recruits of all age and all departments train for 8 weeks. Most of his fellow soldiers were younger than him, some were applied to the marine corps, some to the air force, some to ground forces, while some to military band, like him. It was hard for the first few weeks, to go through physical training and adapt to new people and new environment. But he had a good physique, with regular weight training and fitness before he enlisted, plus, the soldiers in his regiment were nice and welcoming. Although he was older than them, they were given the same treatment. Despite this, his fellow soldiers treated each other well, and he found himself enjoying the times with them, as they shared sweat and tears together.

The one thing — no actually, two things — that Taemin was proud of during the training period, was when he got the most letters everyday (from his loving fans and dearly family members), and getting an award for coming first in the physical test.

“Trainee Lee Taemin. Congratulations for coming first in the physical test. We’ll give you a prize on the ending ceremony day. Since you’ve had a hard work, you’re allowed to use your mobile phone shortly. Remember to return it in an hour.”

Though wearing a mask outside of his dorm, he had his cheekbones risen and eyes sparkling in gratitude.

He saluted, then bowed. “Thank you, sir.”

As the apple logo emerged on his screen, he couldn’t hide the sparkle in his eyes and the trembling fingers. Thousands of notifications, from fans, friends, family popped up on his phone, but he ignored all of them and pressed on the green icon first.

He called his family first, wondering if they’ll pick up at this hour.

“Hello? Taeminie?” His mother picked up with a strained voice.

“Mom. It’s me.” His smile bursted through his lips as he kept his trembling voice stable.

He heard his mother let out a scream that was enough to deaf his ears, before rambling questions, whether he is feeling well, if he has eaten his meals properly, what he had been doing. He laughed through all of them, answering her questions one by one, until his father and his brother’s voices echoed across the phone, both speaking with excitement.

The call lasted for 20 minutes, way longer than the usual calls he had with his family, until his mother finally released her grip on the phone, and let him contact his friends and loved ones.

After his family, there was one woman, a dearly one, who he is willing to call. A woman that comes right after his family - her value greater than anyone else. He dialled another number, with his cheekbones already risen. As the dialling tone lengthens, his breath hitched in worry. Is she in a shoot? He might be bothering her through the busy schedules.

After seconds that seemed like forever, he heard her sweet voice across the phone.

“H..ello..?” Her voice was cautious, almost as if not believing that she would receive his phone call right now, after so many weeks of hiatus.

“Naeun-ah.” He heard himself quiver as he repeated. “Naeun-ah, it’s me.”

“O..ppa? How… What… Why…” She closed the door of her waiting room, before her widened eyes and opened mouth could shut close. She couldn’t even speak properly, as words just blurted out of .

He chuckled, then ex