BGM:

Taemin, Be your enemy (feat. Wendy)

Apink, No No No

———————

Seoul.  January, 2021. 

The door bell rang. 

She opened the door, and found him standing outside with a black mask on. Automatically, she found her lips curling up at his presence. 

He mirrored her, but somehow, his smile but didn’t reach his eyes. 

“No one’s at home today?” He asked. Her parents and her sister were all out, while she had a leave today. She nodded and sighed, then collapsed on the sofa, while he chuckled and followed suit. 

He reached out his arms to wrap around her shoulders, and she leaned onto his instinctively.

She glanced at him slightly and wondered if she should tell him her worries. She knew he had his own. He had to bear the weight of releasing a new album as SHINee, after 3 years of hiatus. He had to bear the weight of releasing a new solo work soon, before his military enlistment. 

She knew, she always knew how much he had to go through, which was why she kept herself silent before, because he didn’t want to add to his burden. 

Now, years of relationship made her realise that communication is the key, and she knew she should probably tell him, but she would still hesitate, like now. 

He turned and saw her dilated pupils. “Naeun-ah, you have something in mind?”

Reluctantly, she nodded. 

He sighed, while his hands fiddled with her fingers. “We’ve been through this right? If you have something in mind, just tell me. Your worries are never my burden.”

She stared into his tentative, sincere eyes and began. 

The worry and concerns she had for her career. 

Naeun never thought of herself as a celebrity when she was young. She dreamt to be an artist and went through her school days as an artistic student. Despite this, she liked singing and dancing. This was why she went along with her cousin to audition. 

She tasted the life of an idol, but as she grew older in this industry, she found herself lost. 

There were too many talented musicians. There were boisterous singers, graceful dancers, charismatic rappers. Compared to the other talented idols, she was just average — average at singing, average at dancing.

Sometimes, when she saw her boyfriend standing on the stage with his unique aura and spectacular performance, she would look back on herself. She was proud of him, because he found his dreams and goals. But for her... she just endorsed products, modelled, and released albums with Apink. She enjoyed it, but she knew there would be a day when those products change their models, or when Apink no longer has the popularity from before.

Just like how he wants to be a life long performer, she wanted to be more too — for a better career — one that she will be interested in, and one that she can stand on, in the competitive industry. 

And so, she looked to the world of acting. 

She was interested before, but it grew as time passed by. From participation to small dramas, to being a main role in horror films, she wanted to explore as an actress. She admired the seniors who still acted despite their age and their status. 

She wanted to be like them, to have a life-long career too.

But Play M isn’t a company for acting. It is relatively new and is only experienced on training idols. She knew from how they chose drama scripts for her, and how they prioritised her endorsements or Apink’s activities before her drama works. 

At the end of the year, she told her worries to her members, and they were all supportive. She knew they would be. They are her family, and they respect her thoughts. Despite this, she isn’t going to give up on Apink. She doesn’t want to. 

She wanted to maintain her status as an Apink member, release songs whenever their schedules match, but also pursue in her acting career. 

And there are also her fans. Her pandas from Apink: there were fans that stayed with her since her debut, some joined middle of the way, and some from her individual activities. But for her to change her career path, she might let those people down. 

She didn’t know what to do. 

He remained silent while she expressed her thoughts. She knew he is listening, as he always does. 

After processing his thoughts, he gave his opinion, as a senior and experienced member in the industry. 

“For a mor