Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame

Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains

'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name

It was a chilly, windy day, one that indicated the impending arrival of winter, but she had missed the crisp Autumn air of her hometown for far too long, so she kept her windows opened last night. She pulled out her cigarette box from her pocket and pulled out a stick.

Dahyun snuffed out her cigarette, made her way through the apartment, maneuvering around opened and unopened boxes, and looked out the window. She placed the stick in the ashtry, and inhaled the outside air deeply, taking in all the pleasant (and unpleasant) smells of the city waking up. She smiled at the smell of freshly baked breads from the bakery down the street, and then quickly grimaced as a garbage truck drove by.

She didn’t have all of her belongings with her yet. They were arriving in several shipments spread out over the next weeks. Which was just as well, because after looking around her new apartment and seeing it littered with boxes, she wondered how this could be only one-third of what she owned. She then began to puffed another smoke. 

She was excited to be back. This was home, and she had been away far too long. She turned back to look at her apartment again. Chaeyoung had picked it out for her and had it mostly set up for when she arrived. She only stayed with Chaeyoung for few days before moving to this apartment, she didn't want to bother Chaeyoung that much, she knew she would play a lot of piano and guitar, and Chaeyoung has this trait that likes quietness and silence.

It was modestly sized, but already much bigger than her flat in London. It was quite perfect for her actually. She was only about ten minutes away from her bestfriend, and her neighborhood was peaceful, filled with bubble tea and coffee shops and bakeries and flower shops and convience stores, but still within walking distance of good restaurants and shopping areas and and parks, should she feel like it, music venues and local bars. And it was farther away from S---, from where they used to live.

Good job, Chaeng, she thought to herself.

Dahyun stretched her arms over her head in a big yawn. She was still adjusting to the time difference and fighting jet lag. This was why she was up so early, which is quite uncharacteristic of her night owl ways. She had briefly thought she would use this time adjustment to finally switch to an early riser, but almost instantly laughed at her too optimistic self. That would never happen. She immediately inhaled more of the nicotine stick she's holding. 

The yawn made her realize she needed caffeine in her body system. After all, she had been awake all of fifteen minutes. Dahyun groaned as she realized her coffee maker and tea set were still packed somewhere in those boxes, and she had no idea which one. 'I guess you really have to work for the good things in life.' She figured she might as well start the process of unpacking as she looked for a source of caffeine. Halting into the living room, she observed her not so organized stuffs.

The first box she opened contained some kitchenware, but not what she was looking for. Her piano case lays down beside it, together with her acoustic guitar case. The box next to it contained some of her office and writing supplies as well as a gift for Chaeyoung she brought back from London. She smiled as she pulled out fluffy top hat, decorated with a hippie color and pattern on it, Chaeyoung would love this, it's definitely her style, she thought, sarcastically, bemused smile on her face as she pictured pulling this over Chaeyoung’s happy face. She set it aside, making a mental note to have a camera ready to capture that image for all eternity. 

She moved on to the next box which was different than the others. The box looked older and more faded, and the only box that had a label on the front, “books”. The tape around it appeared old as well, and the whole thing looked as though it hadn’t been touched in several years. That was because it hadn’t.

The  korean wondered why she still had this box with her. Why it had traveled thousands of miles with her to London and now back to Seoul. She was never going to read them again, anyways. She was sure she was probably never even going to open the box again. She shook her head, unwilling to think of more excuses as to why she shouldn’t throw it away, seeing as it was so early in the morning and the caffeine is still absent from her system. Instead, she pushed the box into the back closet and covered it with other boxes so that it remained out of sight. There, Dahyun thought, problem solved. Then, another part of her added, Or just temporarily avoided. Good enough for now.

There are few more boxes to go, all packed with heavy tapes around it, and Dahyun is not liking digging up furthermore early in the morning, it would have been easy if she only labeled things outside. Finally giving up, when she realized, she was nowhere closer to her caffeine, she her heel and walked into the bedroom, she found her duff bag and pulled out a small bottle, before walking to the bathroom. Popping the top, Dahyun threw a tiny pill into before leaning down and taking a mouthful of water straight from the tap. She swallowed hard and stared at herself in the mirror. She knew that the medication would help, but she still hated that she needed it. She observed the dark circles under her eyes are gone now, and the roots of her grayish brown hair are slowly turning to black now. 

The sun was now up and Dahyun decided it was a good time to take a break and explore her new neighborhood more closely. She grabbed her beanie and scarf and locked her apartment. Once she exited the building, she smiled and took a deep breath in.

I’m back.

Week 1 (Since Dahyun Left):

Dahyun shifted nervously in her seat on the plane. No matter what she did, she couldn’t make herself comfortable. And sleep was certainly out of the question. She looked on enviously at the people next to her, all deep in slumber during the long flight.

What am I doing? Dahyun found herself asking for the hundreth time since she got on this plane. It wasn’t that she had never traveled internationally before; she had, few times in the past. But in all her travels, she had never purchased a one way ticket without knowing when, or if, she would ever return. She has never been far away from her best friend, who she already missed. The thought made her more anxious, she's not only leaving home, but she's also leaving Chaeyoung, who was always there, every time she needed a shoulder. Chaeyoung kept her warm, when her world grew darker and colder, Chaeyoung was the spark that lit the path to carry on, Chaeyoung was always there when she was hurt the most, and needed hope, Chaeyoung was always by her side. 

She was lost in her thoughts continued to fidget, to the annoyance of the passenger next to her, who awoke and gave her a annoyed look. She mouthed a silent “I’m sorry” and the person leaned away from her to fall back asleep.

She subconsciously reached to her chest and grasp around for a second before she remembered that she did not have ... that with her anymore. Over the past months, Dahyun had gotten used to holding onto it whenever she felt stressed or anxious, finding it brought her some peace and calm. She had left it behind when she left, along with everything else that could remind her of her. She let out a sigh and wondered if Chaeyoung really did throw it in the ocean like she asked. And if she did... what was the likelihood that it would find its way across the ocean to the other side of the world? To London, maybe? After all, there were so many stories of messages in bottles making their way thousands of miles away.

She shook her head and chided herself, Don’t be silly, Dahyun. Why would you even want it back? The whole idea of this move was to leave her old life, and everything that reminded her of it, behind. This kind of thinking was not going to help her move on. She needed to not think about her anymore.

Dahyun leaned her head against the plane and looked out the window. The world was completely dark outside the plane as they flew over the ocean, and the only thing that she saw were the blinking lights on the wing of the plane. She was getting farther and farther away from everything she knew, everything she loved. She silently prayed that she was making the right decision for herself, for her, for everything, before pulling down the window shade in frustration and sat back in her seat.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

Dahyun jolted awake when the flight attendant’s voice came on overhead to announce that they were getting ready to land. She looked around, with a slight of disorientation, for a second before she remembered where she was. With some excitement and a lot of nerves, she pulled open the shade to see that the sun had risen and they were now flying over a beautiful cityscape.

The flight attendant continued to speak, and Dahyun noted a soft in-between accent of someone who divided her time between England and Seoul. She liked the way it sounded. She wondered briefly if she would pick up the accent as well. Chaeyoung would love that, she thought wryly.