You're doing all these things out of desperation

Sana looked up from her seat on the couch at Daniel and Jihyo’s apartment. Their closest friends was gathered around in the living room area. She smiled as she watched her friends engaged in their individual conversations. Momo and Nayeon were arguing about something absurd, like getting a dog and naming it 'boo'. Some of  Daniel's friends were goofing off as usual, while Irene and Seulgi was drinking the whole bottle of Jihyo's wine (seriously, these two can drink the whole liquor supply from their apartment.... and not get ing drunk).

“Okay, everyone,” Sana almost shouted to be heard over the group, “Let’s focus. We have a lot of planning to do before the wedding.”

“Who put you in charge of everyone all of a sudden?” Momo asked.

“Um, the bride.”

Momo scoffed and turned to look at Jihyo for back up. She received no help there, as Jihyo looked at her helplessly and shrugged, “Let her. Don’t fight it.”

Sana smirked in victory. “Now, along with my fellow co-Maid-of-Honor (yes, that’s a thing, Nayeon) Momo, we put together a list of tasks for everyone and the date at which those tasks need to be completed.” The japanese handed out a packet of paper to everyone. “We still have some time yet, so just look over your assigned duties, and let us know if you have any questions.”

Momo chirped in as everyone started flipping through the packet, “No complaining about how hard your jobs are. Just get them done. And don’t mess them up, or else two japanese beauties will beat your up.”

Jihyo cleared and glared at her friend. “What Momo means is, thank you everyone for dedicating the time to help with the planning. Daniel and I love you all and will be eternally grateful.”

Momo shrugged. “That’s what I said.”

“As you can see,” Sana began, “I’ve left the portion on the bachelor and bachelorette parties blank. You boys are responsible for planning the bachelor party and we will do the bachelorette party and bridal shower. We thought it was best if we kept those separate from the rest of the planning.”

The boys looked decidedly more excited about wedding planning with the mention of the bachelor party. She thought she saw Seongwu held them hem of his shirt, pulled it halfway, winked at Irene and Seulgi and mouth the word “stripper” which they just rolled their eyes. (Stop it Seongwu, they are gay.)

“Okay, so about the bridal shower.” Sana started to turn to the page in the packet dedicated to that.

“Wait,” Daniel interrupted, “do we need to know about this?”

“No, I suppose not?”

“Okay, then, we’ll leave you ladies to plan your boring tea party while we plan more exciting things. We’re going down to the bar a block away from here for a drink while we plan. Come join us when you’re done.” He signaled to Seongwu, Woojin, and Jihoon, who all eagerly got up to join him.

After they left, they then discussed some more ideas for the parties (though Momo managed to talk Jihyo into letting her bring some “special sparklers” for the bachelorette party). They finalized her guest lists for both events and divided up the tasks.

Then, they moved on to planning the wedding. Since the couple had already chosen the venue, and Jihyo was having her wedding dress specifically designed for her, so they just needed to decide on flowers and the cake for now, which had been assigned to the japanese girls. Sana knew a good florist and they made plans to go visit the florist as well as cake tasting.

Sana glanced at her watch and was surprised that so much time had passed. She quickly gathered her things. “Oops, sorry, girls. I have to run. I have to meet with my agent about my gallery opening. It’s coming up in just a few weeks, and I still have so much to do.”

“Do you need any help?” Jihyo offered. “Don’t worry about some of this wedding stuff if you’re busy. The wedding isn’t for a while yet, so you should certainly focus on your gallery opening.” she added.

Sana shook her head. “No, but thanks. I like the wedding planning. It’s a distraction from the less fun work of organizing the gallery. It’s just that my agent managed to invite some pretty famous folks from Japan who apparently really liked some of my old pieces and might want to commission me to do some pretty big projects.”

“Oh wowo, that’s awesome,” Momo said, smiling at the good news.

Sana nodded. “It is pretty exciting. I have never really done anything like that before. Working with a personal collector to do a major commissioned project. So, I really, really have to pull this off. But that just means I have to make sure the gallery goes off without a hitch. You guys are still coming, right?”

They both nodded.

“And Jihyo, you’re going to get a whole bunch of your singer idol friends to come glamour up the event, right?”

Jihyo grinned. “Yes, Sana. They’ll be coming. I'll make sure of it.’”

“Yah, Sana-yah, why didn’t you ask me to bring some of my pharmaceutical friends?” Momo asked.

Sana laughed. “Because they don't exist? But if they do, you can bring them if you want, Momo. If you think they would be interested. Just remember, nothing can blow up.” She bent down to give Momo a peck on the nose before leaning over to give Jihyo a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

“See you, girls.”

The atmosphere suddenly became thick and heavy and hot when it had been cool and crisp just a second earlier. She forgot what she had been looking for even as she held the pair of scissors in her hands. Chaeyoung’s words reverberated in her mind. She’s still there.

Chaeyoung observed her best friend's reaction with a heavy heart. She felt a stab of guilt for ruining the lovely day they were having, and for bringing about the sudden exhaustion that seemed to blanket Dahyun’s entire body. She waited patiently for her to digest her words.

When Dahyun continued to remain silent, she pushed on, needing to get all of this out now, while she still had an opening.

“She said every Tuesday, rain or shine, four seasons. And as far as I know, she has kept her word. I see her there, even when she doesn’t see me.”

Still no answer from Dahyun. She sat with her head leaned back and her eyes closed. The only indication that she heard Chaeyoung was the clenching of her fists on her lap.

Chaeyoung was growing exasperated.

“Dahyun. Listen to me. I saw her several weeks ago. She’s not going to give up, atleast not any time soon, not until she sees you and says what she wants to say to you. She asked me to tell you that she will continue to be there. I promised her I would.”

Finally, Chaeyoung saw Dahyun take a final deep breath before opening her eyes and facing her. She heard resolve, with a hint of forced steadiness, in her voice as she spoke, “Did you tell her I wouldn’t go?”

Chaeyoung sighed. “Of course I did. I have been telling her that. Every time I’ve seen her these past two years. Come on Dahyun, it’s Sana-unnie.” Chaeyoung saw a subtle flash of something in Dahyun’s eyes at the first mention of Sana’s name. Her name was never easy to hear as much as to say anymore. She remembered when her name used to fall so easily out of – when she was having a conversation with her. Her name used to be so easy to hear and say, but not this time. Not right now. Her heart ached and her chest tightened when she thought about hearing her name again. “When has she ever done anything for her own good? She is just as stubborn as she’d always been.”

Dahyun fell silent again. Chaeyoung was now getting frustrated. As much as she loved Dahyun, and understood that her best friend's way of coping and dealing with things was, to say the least, very different from her own way of driving into things headfirst, being direct and saying whatever she felt like, and dealing with the consequences later, she could not, for the life of her, make sense of why Dahyun wouldn’t want to settle this thing with Sana that she knew still loomed over her head.

She remembered when she first told Dahyun about Sana’s weekly vigil at the Nayeon's coffee shop. She was visiting her best friend in London for the first time, and it was nearing the end of her weeklong trip.

Dahyun had planned a full itinerary for her visit there, excited to show Chaeyoung, who Dahyun knew still worried about her, that she was happy and doing well. And toward the end of the week, Dahyun had shyly introduced her to Tzuyu, whom Chaeyoung had known as Jackson’s cousin and the girl Dahyun had been officially dating for more than a month. She could tell Tzuyu was a little nervous meeting Chaeyoung for the first time (though most people tended to be) but she was polite and sociable and Chaeyoung could certainly see what Dahyun meant about her intelligence. Chaeyoung did feel a certain amount of gratitude to this woman for restoring lightness and laughter back into Dahyun’s life. But of course, it would take more than manners and small talk and smarts to get in Chaeyoung’s permanent good graces. She felt happy for Dahyun, but left that encounter with an unreasonable sense of . . . deep jealousy (perhaps?) on behalf of Sana. Dutiful, waiting, unaware Sana.

So that night, after she finished packing her suitcase, she decided to sit her best friend down on the couch and do it. She told her quickly, much like ripping off a bandaid, letting the whole story rush out before Dahyun could respond.

She told her about the night Sana came to her apartment, too late, hoping to see her to apologize and ask for her forgiveness. She told her that she was angry at Sana then, for having driven her away, for taking her damn time to realize her stupid mistake, too ing late, for thinking that she had the right to decide when and how she wanted to be with Dahyun. No, she wasn’t going to give her that power. So she yelled at her and told her to leave.

Chaeyoung had paused there to catch her breath and calm the anger she could feel rising inside. Dahyun’s face was uncharacteristically impassive.

She then told her that the last thing Sana said to her that night was that she was going to wait for Dahyun, every Tuesday, at the place they met, until she came. She told her that she didn’t believe Sana. Out of anger or spite, she didn’t know. She didn’t want her to be able to hurt Dahyun again. So she ignored her. But eventually, she realized that Sana was actually doing it. She told her that she visited with Sana after three months, to tell her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. She told her again at six months, with the same futility.

Now, Chaeyoung had never been afraid of telling Dahyun anything in all their years of growing up together. But now, as she was telling her about Sana, she felt mild apprehension rising