Push & Pull
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Out of Goodbyes



Jiwon’s grip on the steering wheel loosened as she arrived home. Distress and pain filling up while she forced herself to get out of the car. Baekhyun didn’t answer any of her calls and he wasn’t home—as if fate didn’t want them to meet up at all. Was she trying to bring up something from the past that was already done for good? “.” She groaned as she closed the car door, her eyes glued down to her phone.

Her text was never read by him.

Once again, she attempted to make a call.

She walked into the entrance of the building while waiting. It simply rang and rang until it went to voicemail. “Ugh, does he even have his phone with him—motherer.” She hissed and eventually gave up. She lazily pressed on the elevator button and waited. Her eyes dropped slowly along with her head—she felt like she just lost the most important game of her life, that was what it felt like not being able to see him today. All the excitement in her chest was wasted and now she knew it was going to take a while for her to muster up the courage all over again for another time.

Just her luck, huh?

She sighed as she stepped into the elevator. “So tired.” She unknowingly took her phone out from her pocket again and checked it. The message remained unread. “Yup, I don’t know where the you are but there’s no way you have your phone right now.” She shook her head and looked up to the bright ceiling of the elevator. She then turned to the glass wall, staring at her reflection. “I look like .” She muffled. Her makeup had run down from all the crying, her ponytail was all messed up. She removed the tie on her hair completely and let her long hair drop to one shoulder.

She arrived on her floor and stepped out. Within ten steps into the hallway, she paused when her eyes travelled towards the direction of her unit. A man—a scarily familiar one—knelt down in front of her twins. The opened door of her unit was opened and there was Eun Jung standing there and chuckling.

The man was … Byun Baekhyun.

Jiwon gasped and covered . “No way—” She then started running towards them. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god—Hansol and Hana get back inside first.” She shrieked in terror. “This is not how I—oh my god, what is happening. Eun Jung unni, please take them inside first, please I beg you.” They all turned to her direction and without saying anything more, Eun Jung frantically grabbed Hana into her arms. “Hansol, let’s go in, hm?” The old lady tried to grab the little boy but he was now hiding behind Baekhyun for some reason.

“Hansol—get in.” Jiwon skipped around Baekhyun and tried to grab the kid who now started running away into the hallway.

Baekhyun on the other hand just stood there, dead frozen. “Hansol, don’t wait for Eomma to get mad.” Jiwon warned while running after the silly kid, they were just running back and forth around and around the hallway now. Jiwon breathed hard while tapping her chest, pausing for a bit. The toddler also stopped while giggling hard. “Oh my god, Hansol. You stress me out so much, you’re just like your—” Jiwon paused realizing what she almost said.

She turned round and met eyes with Baekhyun who was still dead silent there on the same exact spot he was in.

Without even realizing it, Hansol had already run back to their direction and towards Baekhyun again. He let out a loud squeal and hid behind Baekhyun again, hugging him on the thighs. Jiwon watched it happen and covered , tears threatening to form in her eyes. They look so much alike and now that they were so close to each other, physically, it was even more visible. “Hansol, baby, please just get in first.” Jiwon muffled in half-voice, half-air.

Finally, Baekhyun moved. Yes, moved. He looked down to the kid, gently grabbing his tiny body. “Hansol, your mother said get in. Get back in.” he ordered firmly and to their surprise, the toddler giggled hard before running into the apartment, following Baekhyun’s direction.

Jiwon shivered from the sound of his voice.

How much she missed that voice.

Eun Jung peeked out one last time, sharing a brief eye-contact with Jiwon before closing the door. “Okay—” Jiwon exhaled heavily, nervously smiling at the man in front of her. “I’m sorry about that, they’re uh—a handful sometimes.” She managed to apologize. Baekhyun looked away, he had to or else his chest would just explode. He needed to stay calm, he didn’t want to this moment up by doing something so rash—like grabbing her into the tightest, most deadly hug possible and the most passionate kiss ever.

Instead, he stood there motionless. His hands in his pockets and his lips tightly sealed in a straight line.

The silence stretched out longer than he had expected and it was starting to fall awkward. He hesitantly moved his eyes towards her and she was looking around while rubbing her neck. Baekhyun cleared his throat to get her attention and it worked. She looked back, an awkward smiling forming in her lips. “Uh—I thought I had this all planned out, everything I was gunna say but I’m just … I don’t know what to say now.” She finally spoke after a while of silence.

Baekhyun nodded. “Okay, uhm.” He cleared his throat again as he looked up to think. “How about let’s start with—”

Jiwon closed her eyes tightly. “You’re the father of my twins.” She cut him off. She gasped in realization and covered . And there she went again, panicking and blurting out stuff she shouldn’t. At least, she shouldn’t have started with that one. Baekhyun’s mouth dropped, his eyes dead fixed to hers. “Ah—uh how—fa—” He managed to let out some incoherent sounds out of his mouth, no actual words.

Jiwon cursed under her breath and nervously gulped. “Actually, let’s—let’s start with what you wanted to start with. Yeah, that sounds better. Finish your sentence.” She nodded firmly, hiding the fact that she could just her pants right now of how scared she was starting to be, for revealing that one so soon. “Uhm.” Baekhyun’s mouth moved along with his eyes, blinking terribly often. “We—uh—wha—twins?” He finally managed to mutter his first actual word—twins. That was all he got, apparently.

“Yes … twins.” Jiwon sighed. “And no, it wasn’t because you’re a god or a—or that we did more than one round that night or whatever your filthy mind might work on about the situation—they were conceived naturally, it's in my blood and I'm just very fertile I guess because you see, my eggs ... I probably should just stop talking. Like now, just zip my mouth.” She shook her head firmly and closed completely, she wasn’t going anywhere nice at the moment.

god, did she just say that?

And freaking eggs?

What the ?

Baekhyun took a few steps back until his back met the wall of another unit. His upper body bent down halfway and his hands gripped on his knees—as if he had completely turned into jelly. “Oh —I knew you couldn’t do this.” Jiwon groaned and looked away, disappointed tears already forming in her eyes. “Why did I even think this would ever work, I mean you can’t possibly accept this—”

“No no no—shut up, stop assuming things. Just shut up and give me a second, Kim Jiwon.” Baekhyun cut her off sharply, waving his hands at her for protest. “What do you mean shut up, we need to talk about this now, when else are we going to talk about this? The twins have met you.” Jiwon didn’t listen, which was expected, and argued.

Baekhyun put an index finger up, trying to stop her again. “Okay, you went nuts on revealing that I am a father of two—straight up two babies, okay? You weren’t even subtle about it. And I had no idea, this whole time. How old are they, like three?” He hissed. Jiwon groaned. “Two, Baekhyun because you see—I had to go through a process called pregnancy first which takes usually nine months so yeah, I didn’t just spit them out of my right after we had . It took time to grow them first. Like a plant, they start as seeds.” She threw sarcasm out of frustration. “I know that—I was counting in Korean age!” Baekhyun grunted back.

“Okay, just—I’m sorry.” Jiwon put both hands up in surrender. “Let’s both calm down and talk like adults.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes while nodding, his chest moving up and down heavily. “I just … I came here to see you.” He finally managed to speak more calmly. He cautiously opened his eyes, meeting her curious ones. They both leaned on either side of the empty hallway, across each other. “Jihwan and I met up, he gave me a call—I was actually very confused but yeah, he revealed to me that you actually went to my place three years ago, that same day before you were scheduled to leave.” He added and looked down. “I heard you saw me with a woman. Jiwon, you misunderstood it. That woman was nothing to me, I was very drunk and she forced herself on me but nothing happened. I swear.”

Jiwon groaned in realization and tapped her forehead, keeping her hand up aga

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