9 years ago

-1-

The first time Taeyeon asked for a break up, Tiffany took it as a joke. She did, however, give Taeyeon a good earful for that 'joke'. Taeyeon didn't say a word to clarify herself after that and had been silent for the next few days, only responding to her when needed. Tiffany tried not to think too much about it, although she was worried since she could feel that Taeyeon seemed to have distanced herself. A part of her screamed for her to confront and reconcile with the woman. Another part of her sought to dismiss it as Taeyeon's normal mood swings. At last, she chose the latter because she wasn't brave enough to face the truth.

That night, after they had dinner at Taeyeon's house, Tiffany heard the words that she had wished would never come out of Taeyeon's mouth again. She could tell that it was real this time around.

"It's not funny, Taeyeon-ah," Tiffany said. Her voice trembled after Taeyeon dropped the bomb for the second time that week.

Taeyeon's eyes were soulless. "I'm not joking. I can't endure it anymore."

"What has gotten into you? It hasn't even been a month since you said you wanted to live with me forever." Tiffany scoffed. She considered the abrupt change in behavior to be childish.

Taeyeon had suggested that Tiffany move in with her, but Tiffany had refused her request. She thought that it was still too early for them to move on to that level. It had just dawned on her that this could be the cause of Taeyeon's strange behavior.

"Of course, I still want that! But my career is more important right now. The moment people know about us, everything ends for me," Taeyeon said, and flinched a bit when she heard her own unplessant words. "Have you ever thought about how everything is going to end for me the moment people know about us? You're lucky, your job is surrounded by people who wholeheartedly support people like us. What about me? Have you thought of that?" She clenched her fist and tried to convince herself that she did mean what she said.

The truth was that it had never been about her. Her senior had recently come out of the closet and she had witnessed how nasty the public had been in response to the news. She couldn't care less about herself, but she didn't want Tiffany to experience the same thing as that senior. She knew how people would never let Tiffany live peacefully and consequently hurt her if both of them decided to come out.

Tiffany shook her head when reality hit her. Taeyeon was right, she thought. She had been so engrossed with Taeyeon's love that she had forgotten about how it could jeoparadise the woman. "I'm sorry. I should have known better, but please let me stay. Don't let me go, Taeyeon-ah." Tiffany's voice cracked.

Taeyeon took a deep breath and shook her head. "Close the door when you leave," she said coldly before turning around to go to her bedroom. She closed the door lightly and fell to the ground, crying silently right there and then.

-2-

Taeyeon dashed to the front door as the buzzer rang endlessly. She opened the door to see Tiffany standing there in a shambles. "Are you drunk?" she asked when she smelled the reek of alcohol.

"I miss you," Tiffany said and hugged Taeyeon. She heaved a sigh when she felt Taeyeon's warmth, although the woman didn't hold her the same way she used to.

"Let me send you home," Taeyeon said. She didn't try to pull away.

Tiffany broke the hug and looked at Taeyeon. The empty stare made the latter uncomfortable. Long gone were the twinkling orbs in her eyes when she looked at Taeyeon. "Are you happy living like this, Taeyeon-ah? Because I'm not. I knew everything and I hate that you kept the thought to yourself when we could talk through it." She started to tear up. "I thought I could do this. But it's hard. I miss you a lot."

"Fany, let's not do this." Taeyeon sighed, knowing that her best friend had told Tiffany everything.

"Give me one chance. One last chance for me to stay. Please?"

"I can't. We can't. You know that."

Tiffany started to aim for Taeyeon's lips. She kissed Taeyeon hard in the hope that the woman would reconsider her decision.

Taeyeon wanted to push Tiffany away, but the moment Tiffany's lips touched hers, she trembled and eventually gave in. She had been missing her too. Taeye