How Can We Be Doing Something So Terrible If It Feels So Right?

the unspoken truth

Jennie sighed, laying down, "I don't usually share about my personal life usually with people but...maybe you should get to know this about me..."

Rosé nodded, unable to stop her eyes from admiring the girl's long curvy outline as she was in a lying position. But she tore her eyes away just in time as Jennie looked up. 

"You met Jisoo right?" Jennie asked. Rosé nodded, "Yeah, I heard from her that you guys were child hood best friends or something?" Jennie widened her eyes with a look of skeptic, "Well...that's what she tells everyone. But actually, part of that is true. We live near each other so since we were children, our parents were also friends so we naturally became close too. But around middle school, that's when she started liking me more than a friend. I mean, that was bound to happen, because it's me, we're talking about." Rosé rolled her eyes.

"Anyways, she confessed to me when I was a 7th grader. She was in 8th grade. We started dating and dated for a while, I guess you can say. I broke up with her when I became a 9th grader at Young Arts. She was becoming so clingy and annoying and would get so mad when I even hung out with friends. She was so paranoid that I'd fall for another friend or that a friend would try flirting with me. She would bother my friends if she saw them talking to me. She'd warn them to back off too, it was so annoying. So obviously that's when my feelings for her dissappeared too. I dumped her but she grew so angry and resentful and obsessed too."

Rosé felt a little shiver, as the story was taking a bit of a stranger and unexpected turn than she'd expected. 

"I had a friend group in 9th grade that consisted of 8 friends. They were all my close friends that I'd known since middle school. Jisoo might have told you a different story, most likely. But this is the real story. Jisoo targeted 2 of my friends each quarter and made them kill themself."

"Hold on...how did she even make them kill themself? People would have noticed if she bullied them." Rosé asked.

Jennie concentrated on a loose thread in the blankets, picking at it blankly, "She'd find some sort of weak spot. LIke I guess something to blackmail them over. She threatened to reveal it to the public. It was easy for Jisoo to find something to threaten them with that could seriously end their future careers. Being friends with me too, isn't a good influence, to be honest. But my friends all had some sort of dark secret like selling or doing drugs, or illegal activity in clubs or things like that. Jisoo killed all 8 of my friends. 5 boys and 3 girls. She was so obsessed with the fear of me possibliy liking any of them."

Rosé blinked, she didn't know what to say but just gasp. "A-Are you saying...Jisoo is the real bully of the school? SHE killed those students last year? What..."

Jennie stared at the ceiling, "It was a tough year for me. Especially because Jisoo kept trying to frame me. She remembered all the security camera angles back from when we were in middle school and I'd take her to the security office with my mom just for fun. She knew all the angles and hidden parts too so that's where she'd bother and bully my friends. And I'm afriad she is just going to continue trying to bother or get rid of anyone I get close to...so for that, I'm sorry for approaching you first that morning. After what happened last year, I made an oath to myself that I wouldn't become close with anyone so that Jisoo wouldn't kill any more students. But I saw you struggling with your locker. And I saw your face. And your guitar. And I just...had to break my oath. I'm sorry I put you in danger..."

Rosé was unable to believe everything that was just said. "Wait...what do you mean you saw me struggling with my locker and you saw my face and my guitar and then decided to break your oath...what do you mean?"

Jennie sat up, staring at Rosé, this time not looking all smug as usual, "Rosie...you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life. And after hearing you sing, hearing you talk, I believe you're just as beautiful on the inside too...you're just so sweet. Just like your name. I don't know what else to say or how else to explain to you other than that I just truly fell for you at first sight."

Rosé wasn't expecting this at all. Jennie Kim? Confessing to her? Within a week of meeting her? They technically don't even know each other that well. And usually, Rosé wouldn't feel so happy if someone fell for her just based on her looks. But it was different when Jennie said it.

"Can you answer something for me?" Rosé asked.

Jennie stared at her, willing her to speak.

"How come you never told the police or anyone that it was Jisoo's doing?" Rosé asked, feeling a bit guilty for asking.

Jennie sighed, "Of course I did. I told my mother, I told the board. I told the police. I called news reporters. I felt so heartbroken and angry about what happened to my friends each quarter. I tried to stop it from happening each time. I was silenced each time. My mother told me to just let the issues go...she said my friendships with those people weren't profitable anyways because of their reputation. And something you should know...Jisoo's parents are the owners of this huge company but there are many companies sponsoring and always supporting Young Arts Academy. And Jisoo's company is one of those. That's the main reason why my mother couldn't let this expose Jisoo. But since she couldn't let her own daughter take the blame either, she just paid off everyone to be silenced."

Rosé felt like she was watching some sort of movie. She didn't know people actually paid off other people in real life. It was surreal, hearing all this on top of Jennie's confession. And for some strange reason, even though Jennie basically just implied that Rosé was in huge potential danger from Jisoo, Rosé wasn't scared or angry. She was actually nervous and tingly and excited. She felt her heart thudding faster by the second. She couldn't stop thinking about Jennie's surprise confession.

Suddenly Jennie crawled closer to Rosé, laying next to her.

"Rosie, do you find me strange for liking you so fast? Trust me, I'm more astonished at myself. I've never fallen so hard and so fast for anyone in my whole life." Jennie admitted, while staring at Rosé.

The younger girl forced herself to stare back at Jennie.

"Jennie...I never liked another girl before...I've never even dated either, but the only people I've ever had crushes on were just boys. But when I met you...something was strangely alluring about you. Just as you fell for me right away, I fell for you too. But...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, Jennie." Rosé's voice suddenly cracked, and she looked away. Jennie suddenly reached out, and pulled Rosé's body closer to hers, and then just hugged her, tightly, "Rosie, why are you scared? I'm right here." 

Rosé was tearing up a bit now. She felt like a baby.

"I just ...my parents are christian folks. They taught me that non-straight people are sinning...you know. I just feel like I'm doing something so terrible...by liking you." She whispered. Jennie wiped her tears away, "Rosie, want me to make you feel better? Because I know how I can assure you that you're not doing anything wrong." Rosé felt like she was agreeing to some sort of death will by speaking but she nodded, "Yes, please..." Jennie put her hand gently on Rosé's face and pulled her in as she kissed her on the lips.

Rosé saw the clear night sky, filled with millions of shining stars. The lake was peaceful and calm. 

Rosé gasped as Jennie pulled away, staring into her eyes, "How can we be doing something so terrible if it feels so right?" Rosé blinked, touching her lips, blushing, "Tha-That was my first kiss...." 

Jennie laughed, and then gave her another quick peck, 'That was your second kiss." Rosé's heart pounded madly against her chest. She wondered if Jennie could feel that. After all, their bodies were pressed so tightly against each other. She also wondered how many kisses Jennie has had in her life. She was so good at it.

"Jennie?"

"Yeah?"

"What does this make us?"

"What? The kisses?"

"Yeah...the kisses. What does that make us?"

"Happy." Jennie smirked. And suddenly the older girl slid on top of Rosé's body smoothly, kissing her again. 

Rosé felt like she was in heaven. But she pulled away, "Yes, we're happy but...."

Jennie laughed, "Rosie, that makes us into a couple. That makes us dating. If you're fine with that...are you?"

Rosé answered quickly, "Of course I am!"

Jennie laughed again. 

"Jennie?"

"Yes?"

"How many kisses have you had?"

"More than you can ever imagine Rosie."

And with that comment, the brown haired girl put her hand on Rosé's waist, squeezing her sides, while kissing her. Rosé felt Jennie's teeth sink slowly into her lips. She opened her eyes, in alarm, gaping. But Jennie took advantage of this and stuck her tongue inside the younger girl's mouth. She swirled it around, meeting Rosé's tongue. Rosé suddenly pulled away, alarmed. Jennie was unfazed though, and instead leaned more forwards, smirking, "Can you tell I'm experienced?"

Rosé blushed so hard,trying to avoid the older girl's gaze, "I'm sorry Jennie, but can you get off me for a second? I'm getting so hot..."

Jennie held her smile in, but got off, laying down next to her, "Take your hoodie off, you dummy."

Rosé gulped, sitting up, "Oh, you're right..."She started taking her hoodie off, and then suddenly she felt Jennie pull Rosé on top of her. "Jennie!"

"You said you wanted me off of you, so you should be on top of me now." Jennie said, in a smug way.

"I-I'm not experienced...I don't know what to do...I-I've never d-done this be-before..."Rosé confessed, feeling awkward, sitting on Jennie. She felt sorry for some reason towards Jennie. Rosé was an unexperienced dummy and couldn't offer anything to this great and beautiful Jennie Kim who was so much more experienced than her. She didn't deserve Jennie. And maybe Jennie didn't deserve her too. After all, Jennie was a well known player at school. A heartbreaker. She probably had countless one night stands with both boys and girls, not to mention tons of relationships that were meaningless to her in the end. Was Rosé just a small page of a chapter in Jennie's story? Jennie would probably leave her soon, right?

Jennie smiled, "What are you thinking of so deeply that makes you crunch your eyebrows together so tightly?" Rosé studied Jennie's eyes, wondering how much truth was in the older girl's confession earlier. Did Jennie even truly care about her? After all, in her own words, she did say that she fell for Rosé for her looks and even exposed her to Jisoo who is now a dangerous killer.

"Jennie...I-I don't know how I feel about...about all of this...it's just too fast...and..." Rosé started, feeling like emotions would just explode from her.

Jennie put a calm and gentle hand on Rosé's cheek, "Rosie...you're worried about your heart, right? You think I'm going to throw you away after I'm done with you. You think you're meaningless to me. I didn't tell you this earlier because I thought honestly it would sound creepy. I was thinking of just not ever mentioning it to you. But the first day of school wasn't the first time I saw you...I've seen you 3 months before school started. I was in the music store in Hongdae one day, looking for a keyboard. I was passing this room where there were a bunch of guitars hanging from the wall. I heard a beautiful voice coming from that room. And when I peeked in, I saw you. A long haired, beautiful angel. You looked so peaceful and pretty just sitting there on the floor, trying out different guitars and singing softly. I called my mom right away, and sent her a picture and recording of you. I demanded that she scout you to the Young Arts Academy school for free. I hired people to follow you around to figure out what school you were thinking of going to. That day at the audition, when my mom approached you. I told her to do that...I just had to meet you somehow and hear your beautiful voice again...this was the only way that I could think of..."

Rosé blinked, she was speechless. She felt like she was in some sort of movie. What was going on today? She opened , but found nothing to say. She felt like crying and laughing and smiling. She didn't know what this feeling was. Was it love? But was love real? This fast? This amazingly? "Jennie...I-I...I think I might be falling in love with you." She was suddenly so full of emotion and grabbed the older girl's face with both hands and leaned down, to Jennie's surprise, and kissed her long and hard.

She pulled away, feeling embarrassed. Jennie's eyes suddenly glowed, and then she pulled Rosé down back for another kiss, this time putting her hands on Rosé's back. Rosé felt the older girl's hands slowly climbing down to her . Rosé gasped a little, shocked by the sudden explosion of skinship.

As if an invitation, Jennie starting kissing her more though. She was now rubbing her hands up and down Rosé's back, pushing her body against Jennie's. 

***

They both lay side by side in bed, facing each other. "Rosie...I don't want to go home today...let me sleep with you tonight." Jennie whispered.

Rosé blinked, caught by surprise, "Uh-I...I mean..." she didn't know what to say. Did Jennie want to...possibly have with her today? Already? Wouldn't that be too fast now? Rosé wasn't even ready...even making out in her bed took so much energy from her. Her cheeks were bright red and she felt so hot just from making out. And all their clothes stayed on. Nothing serious even happened. How did Jennie expect Rosé to already want to have with her already?

Jennie burst into laughter, sitting up, "Oh my god, Rosé...I can literally see every single thought so clearly through your eyes. You're like a childrens book, honestly. I've never met anyone in my life that I can read so easily! Rosie...I'm dirty, I am. But I'm not that dirty! I won't ask you to do anything you don't want or aren't ready for. Like you said earlier, you're falling in love with me. I want you to completely fall for me. And I'm going to do it the proper way. You're not some meaningless one night stand, Rosie...okay? I just really don't want to go home that's all. I don't want to face reality and my mom again. I just don't ever want to wake up from this dream with you. I want to purely sleep with you. I want to feel your breathing go steady and I want to go to sleep with you in my arms. And I want to wake up to your beautiful face."

Rosé was once again speechless. Was Jennie being sincere? Or was she just that good with her words? She really must be experienced. Beyond her imagination.

Jennie smiled, amused, "Rosie..."

Rosé smiled back, "Yes. Let's sleep together Jennie."

 

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Ne09KS #1
Chapter 10: Nice story Author-nim keep it going👌
Ne09KS #2
Chapter 10: Oooooooh more updates pls