X: I Should’ve Been There
Choice and ChancesX
"Chae Won-a"
She could hear him as if he was just beside her. She let her sight roam outside thinking he might be there somewhere. And she was not wrong at all. Je Hoon slowly showed up from the corner of their gate.
He looked at her straight through her eyes, "Are you okay?"
She swallowed the lump that was on . "Oppa"
That rang on his ears multiple times. She too didn't saw that coming. Did she just address him casually? She cursed herself for that.
"Was he always like that to you?"
Turned out Je Hoon was on the other side of the tall stone wall. He has been there for longer that they were. Je Hoon saw her at the venue few hours ago. It was mainly his reason for coming there, he hoped he could get a glimpse of her. It was a selfish move but he can't help himself. He just wanted to check and he was sure he was extra careful. He wouldn't let her be in another trouble because of him again. He thought that after he'll see for himself that she was okay, it would be enough, but then he was wrong. He wanted to see more of her. Trying his luck, he went to her place.
"I did not intend to listen, I'm sorry." He reasoned after being answered with another silence.
They were having an eye contact and there were no words from her yet. The huge metal gate started to close. It slowly blinded their view of each other.
"You shouldn't be here."
"I'm sorry but I need to talk to you." He could have left after seeing her but hearing their argument awhile ago gave him another reason to stay.
Chae Won shut her eyes close and sighed. She knew it wasn't the right timing but she also knew she needed this talk too. She surrendered and agreed to his request. "Meet me at the peak, I'll be there in a few."
He did as she said. He went to the peak of the hill where her house was located.
It was eleven in the evening. Late for normal people, too early for paparazzi. Secret couples usually meet past midnight. Frankly speaking, it wasn't a dangerous time and place to meet.
She arrived ten minutes after him. She covered herself well just to be extra safe.
They sat with a good enough space between them. "Yeon Seok isn't always like that." She answered the question that she failed to answer a while ago.
She started the conversation soon as she settled down and he knew it was a sign that she wanted the meeting to end quick. And more so, he knew she was trying to cover up Yeon Seok's attitude a while ago.
He did not hear much but the voices that rose up from time to time. But what he heard was enough to conclude that it wasn't their first time fighting. "I'm sorry if I'm causing your fights."
"It's not like you intended this to happen." There was a pause of silence before she asked, "What do you want to talk about?"
He was lost in a trance. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask but he knew he better not.
"If I was never involved in a dating scandal, what would we be now?"
"If I announced divorcement earlier, would you still be married now?"
"If you never married would we have a second chance. Would you accept me even if I am this much of a mess?"
"Do you still care about me?"
Those were some of the questions he wanted to ask but couldn't. That would be too inconsiderate of him if he does. He has enough guilt to stab Yeon Seok from behind. They were once good friends after-all.
"If ever... just in case Yeon Seok is giving you hard time. It's okay to let go." He felt bad for saying that. He was aware his not in the right position to say what he said. "I don't want you to be in a miserable relationship again. You don't deserve that."
Her sneer was so soft that only herself could feel. "We won't come to that."
Her words made him look at her. And she did the same mirroring his gaze with hers. "If there was something I've learned from our past, that's to stay and be strong if the other is weak. And if I fail, I just have to be even stronger." Her tone was so soft and it conveyed how much she means her words.
His eyes never left hers.
The corner of her lips curved slightly showing a smile with a tint of guilt. "I should've done that before, I'm sorry I left you to fight by yourself."
All the pains and struggles he had, came back to him as if it only happened recently. He could not help himself but shed suppressed sobs, bowing his head in attempt to hide his pains.
She was in fight of comforting him physically or not. She settled for a gentle rub on his hand that was resting on the space between them.
The sound of his sobs that he was obviously holding back hurt her deep inside, but she had to hide it.
A good ten minutes was all it took for him to take control of his emotions. It was enough to calm him down. She was staying still and let him take his time.
"If it was now, would you have hold me instead?" He spoke once he knew his voice won't crack anymore. He had his eyes fixated on the view in front of them.
"I would," she confessed.
That was all he needed.
"I told you to come back when you find yourself, I was wrong." None of them dared to look at the other. It was a topic that if they do, it might stir a long buried feelings. Both avoided that to happen because they knew their time was long gone and not
Comments