The lights of the city, which tirelessly fought against the mighty darkness of the night, accompanied me as I wandered aimlessly through the streets. Meanwhile, my thoughts kept bouncing back and forth between Sehun, who was most likely waiting for me, and Jisoo, who surely found comfort in Junmyeon now. And no matter how hard I tried to reconcile my musings, I just couldn't. Although I didn't regret my decision, my actions and especially my feelings at all, how could I if it was clearly the right thing for me? 

But that fact didn't really make me happy either. Every time I remembered that today was my nineteenth birthday, I thought of the gift Jisoo had given me - to let me go while she assured me with a grin on her face that she understood. That she just wanted to make me happy. However, the grin had never reached her eyes and I think I would even have preferred her to have only hate and anger left for me instead of such incredible understanding.  

On the other hand, my birthday also reminded me of something else. Namely, the second chance I had been given, more or less by chance. This second chance, which enabled me to take a completely new direction and to pave the way for a new beginning - and this only because Sehun had suddenly stumbled into my life.

So shouldn't I be happy now? Feel happy instead of mourning the loss? Well, as a matter of fact, I should. However, like so many things in life, this was unfortunately easier said than done, after all, I did not know how I could escape this predicament. How I should behave. I mean, how should things go on now? What did the future hold in store for me and above all what was appropriate? I asked myself and bit my lower lip desperately.

Actually, I wanted to return to Sehun and his giant villa immediately after talking to Jisoo in order to reveal my feelings towards him once and for all. However, suddenly there was the pain that made me realize that I had hurt a loved one terribly, like a huge wall that held me back. And somehow I didn't feel very comfortable with this thought either, because wouldn't I have been just like one of those unscrupulous who, after having broken the heart of one, jumped straight to the next best one?

I knew that sooner or later I would meet Sehun, but I had to give myself and my pain a little time before that. That alone demanded decency, for the last thing I wanted to see in myself was the face of such a shameless person. That is why I continued to wander aimlessly through the streets, wallowing in self-doubt, stalling for time until I noticed, as if through a veil, that morning had already arrived. Behind the high facades of the countless skyscrapers I saw the pale blue sky, which together with fine, light pink clouds slowly but steadily chased away the night and welcomed the new day. 

And with this awakening, the traffic around me became denser and denser by the minute, the soundscape louder and louder and life in general more hectic. Except for me, I thought sadly, for I for one still did not know where to go.  For hours I had been strolling through the streets and yet my thoughts had not advanced a single step. I simply could not prevent myself from feeling torn between the loss of a friend and the beginning of a love affair. And that was exactly what I really couldn't stand!, I suddenly scolded before pinching my cheek almost painfully. I was tired of constantly feeling sorry for any discrepancies, because that didn't help in the long run either, did it? 

Exactly, and that's why I took a deep breath and did the only right thing at that moment - namely to enter a small, rustic-looking restaurant, find a free seat in the back niche and order a double espresso first. Because no matter how ty a day began, with a liter of coffee I would somehow manage - at least I tried to tell myself that. However, it was visibly difficult for me to change my mind, because most of the guests who visited the restaurant at this time of day were couples in love, who fed each other with cake after a seemingly caroused party night.

Somehow I found this circumstance annoying and was very happy when after a short wait the waitress finally put the much longed for broth in front of my nose so that I could finally focus my attention on it. At least that, I thanked the sky, because the bitter smell alone made me calm down a little inside. After I had blown against the steam once or twice, I finally sipped on it carefully, but not a moment later it almost scalded my tongue. Much too quickly I put the cup down again and in the air sharply before coughing and expelling it again. 

Damn it, I grumbled to myself and drummed my fingers against the dark brown, wooden tabletop. How long was I supposed to wait until it had cooled down? One minute? Two? And what should I do afterwards? Go to Sehun? Continue to grieve? I sighed. Once again, entangled in completely pointless thoughts, which in the end revolved around Sehun and Jisoo alike anyway, I wanted to rummage around for my cell phone to check the time or at least distract myself a bit until I remembered that I was a fool not to have it with me. Argh, great, great, great! I moaned. I mean, what was it about today that made me so unlucky?

Mentally I took back my statement from before - a ty morning just remained ! Or it got even tier, because just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a group of young girls followed by a cloud of overly applied perfume floated into the restaurant. But that alone would have been halfway tolerable if they hadn't confiscated the free table just opposite and started g