Guilt haunts sehun for the rest of the night as he subconsciously keeps rubbing his shoulder. He looks up to the clock on the wall; Some soap opera plays in the waiting room, seeming to only entertain some old ladies and Chen. “How's your arm?” Baekhyun asks as he takes a seat beside his friend. He hands Sehun a soda, who shrugs.

“Who cares?” Sehun replies tiredly. “I got Kai shot.”

“Sehun, that’s not your fault. Kai didn’t have to come, you know- he could have just sent Chen and Xiumin.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees. “Boss loooves to be part of the action!”

“You guys...aren't worried?”

“Of course we are, we absolutely love him.”

“But we know he’s tough,” Chanyeol goes on for his boyfriend. “He survived getting shot at the age of fifteen.”

Baekhyun yawns as he stands. “You want a ride home? We’re all coming back in the morning to see him.”

Sehun shakes his head. “No, I uh…” He looks at the ground. “I’ll wait for a bit.”

“Okay, Sehuna. We’ll see you in the morning,” He messes Sehun’s hair up before taking Chanyeol’s and walking out. Chen and Xiumin are next to stand. Chen wraps his arm around the copper-haired boy and kisses him on his cheek. Sehun can’t help but smile at them. 

Junmyeon steps up and gently touches his head. “Call me if you need anything, little brother.”

Sehun just nods, not watching as the rest of the boys leave. He pulls his knees up to his chest and hugs them. Why is he so worried? Kai has been a total to him. It’s not his fault for coming in the first place. So why does he feel so damn bad? He looks at the clock again. He's been here all day and night. He finally stands, deciding he’ll just come back late with the others. He's stopped, however, by a nurse; the same one who helped tend to Kai and Sehun's dislocated shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Sehun flinches and quickly pulls his arm back. “Uh...yeah?”

“I noticed that you’re the only one left and you’ve been here this whole time,” She motions to the waiting room. He didn’t notice that most everyone had left. “Your friend, Kim Jongin is awake.”

Sehun raises a brow at the name. “I uh...I’ll just return in the morning.”

“He could really use a friend,” The nurse says. “Especially since you saved his life.”

Sehun shakes his head. “Oh, I’m not…” He sighs and rubs his head. “Nevermind, just take me to him.”

Sehun likes hospitals, oddly enough. His mother used to work at one all the time as a doctor and he’d spend his days as a kid just roaming around. He’s learned a few medical things and apparently remembered all of it.

The nurse leads him into the elevator and down a corridor, in a room at the end of the hallway. “He has a private room?” Sehun asks.

The woman nods. “A man paid for it, the same one who told me you saved Jongin’s life.”

“Junmyeon,” Sehun smiles before slowly opening the door and peeking his head in. The room is actually quite sizeable with cream-colored walls and wooden floors. Besides the hospital bed is a couch; not too close but not too far. What’s especially nice is a large window that looks out into the city. He uses the hand sanitizer on the left side of the door, already knowing the procedure. He looks back at the nurse behind him, who just smiles and motions. 

“I’ll leave you two alone. Please, call me if you need anything.” When she leaves, Sehun awkwardly pulls up a chair beside the bed and takes a seat. Kai looks tough, even while laying in a damn hospital bed. “The others left,” Sehun whispers. 

“Yeah,” Kai sighs, letting his head fall back.

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“Should it?" Kai shrugs. “They know I’m fine.” He looks over at Sehun, eyeing him. “Hey, uh…”

“I didn’t save your life,” Sehun interrupts. “I just…I don't know.”

“You know what you were doing, huh?” Kai points out. “You knew what to do and you didn’t hesitate.” Sehun looks over out the window, remaining silent. “Sehun.”

“Don’t mistake it for me caring,” Sehun crosses his arms. “I just…”

“Look, you belong in this lifestyle,” Kai points out. “When I punched you, when you shot that guy; when you tended for my bullet wound.”

“I just did what I had to survive…”

“Bull, Sehun. What you did in that van wasn’t for your survival,” he says. “You could have kept your head down but you helped me- you risked YOUR life.”

“Look, I just reacted. I learned-”

“No,” Kai interrupts. “You got a gangster in you.”

Sehun looks down and begins to stand up. “The others are coming to see you in the morning, so…” Kai grabs his arm, pulling him back down.

“Stay...it’s about time we talked.”

“So, your mom worked here?” Kai asks with a mouth full of hamburger. Sehun had called Junmyeon and snuck it inside for the leader.

“Yeah,” Sehun replies. “She taught me some things.”

Kai nods. “So that’s why you can take a couple of punches?”

Sehun sets down his drink and shakes his head. “No, that had nothing to do with it.”

“Sooo, what? You’re just tough?” Sehun sighs as he looks down at his fiddling hands. He just shrugs his shoulders in silence. “Come on, tell me.”

“Well…” He feels responsible for Kai’s injury, so he goes on. “There’s a reason I’m not on amazing terms with my dad.” 

“Whhhat? Your dad is a stand-up guy- not knowing or caring his son is missing for days on end.”

“Yeah,” Sehun scoffs. “I’m gay and he doesn’t like that.”

“And what? He beats you for it?” Kai snorts as if it’s the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. But when Sehun's jaw clenches and he remains silent, the leader’s smile fades. “Sehun?” The boy swallows hard and when he looks up, he sees a certain concern on the man’s face; something he’s only seen for his other members. “Does your father beat you?”

“I...”

“Look at me,” He commends. When he doesn’t. Kai seems to be angry. “I said look at me!” Sehun finally looks over into Kai’s dark, intimidating eyes. “Does your father beat you?! Don’t you ing lie to me- I hate liars.”

Sehun lets out a shaky sigh as he clutches his pants tightly. “Yeah.”

Kai curses loud, his temper getting the better of him when he slams his fist into the side of the table. “Gah, !” He groans and grabs his shoulder; Sehun quickly stands up. “Hey, stop! You’re gonna reopen your wound!”

“I’m fine,” Kai grumbles stubbornly. “Sit down.”

“,” Sehun huffs taking food from the bag that fell and sets it back on the tray. “Seriously, macho man. Be careful.”

“I said I’m fine, I just…” Sehun takes a seat again, watching the leader. "Your dad beating you for being gay just...it ing pisses me off!”

“That and he blames me for my brother and mother dying.”

“Why, you murder them?”

“No, they died in a car crash.”

Kai raises a brow. “Okay? Did you crash the car?”

“No,” Sehun mutters. He shakes his head slowly. “I...I was at this camp my dad sent me to.”

“A camp?”

“A religious camp.”

“And are you religious?”

“Um, no.”

Kai goes quiet for a few seconds. “Why did your father...send you to a religious camp if you’re not religious?”

“Con…” Sehun rubs his wrists at the memory. “Shock conversion therapy.”

Kai closes his eyes and lets out a slow, long breath. He calmly opens his eyes before taking out a phone and begins to dial a number. “I’m putting a ing hit on him.” Sehun rolls his eyes as he reaches over and snatches the phone. He looks at the number; Chanyeol. He clears the number and slides the phone into his own pocket. “The nurse…”

“Kai, did you steal it from her?”

“Maybe,” The leader smirks. “I tried to get my knife back too but she didn’t have it.”

Sehun sighs as he pulls it out of his back pocket. “You mean this?”

“Hey, why do you have it?”

The boy puts it back in when Kai tries to grab for it. “I took it from your pocket when I saved your life, . I used it to cut my shirt.”

“And how does cutting your shirt save my life?”

“It doesn’t,” Sehun laughs. “But I used the fabric from my shirt to stop your bleeding- I couldn’t find anything else.”

Kai huffs and picks up the rest of his burger. “Cool trick.”

Sehun leans back on the couch, thinking back on how angry Kai got about Sehun’s father. He furrows his brows and shifts around. “Kai.”

“What?” Kai asks with his mouth full. Sehun thinks it’s extremely childish but, honestly, cute. He smiles at it.

“Tell me about your dad.”

Kai slowly sets his food down. “No.”

“I’m pulling the ‘I saved your goddamn life’ card,” Sehun says, even if he doesn’t believe it himself. “You owe me.”

Kai actually laughs at that. He wipes his mouth with a napkin and shakes his head. "You’re a ing riot, Oh Sehun. Alright, fine. Let’s talk about my dad.”

“He’s...dead, right? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I killed him,” Kai admits.

Sehun looks at him in surprise. “What? Baekhyun told me Chanyeol saw him-”

“I was on the floor with my head in Chanyeol’s lap, gun in my hand. I figured with my last dying breath, I’d shoot the old er. The guy Chanyeol saw wasn’t my dad- he was my right hand.”

“Your right hand was angrier about you getting shot?!”

“Yup.”

“You shot your dad?”

“Why?”

“Well, tell me what happened to you at that camp and I’ll tell you why I shot my dad,” Kai offers.

Sehun grumbles at that. It’s personal and he hates talking about it, but curiosity opens him up. “Fine. They handcuffed me to a bed, electrocuted, and beat me until I lied about liking .”

Kai glances down at Sehun’s wrists before the boy shamefully covers them with his sleeves. “Is that why you freaked out so bad when Lay was gonna cuff you? That’s where your scars came from?”

Sehun looks down at them as well now. “They might be…”

Kai nods and looks away. “So you’re a struggler.”

“More so than the other kids.”

“So you, uh...struggled until they were raw and bloody,” he whispers. “But even though it probably hurt like , you still fought.” Sehun remains silent as he stands and slowly lifts his shirt. He knows the guy will see them eventually. Up the right of his abdomen are electricity scars; he has similar ones on his arms and legs, though they’re a bit lighter in shade. Kai turns his head to stare at it the markings. He runs his hands through his hair. “Ah fuc[[[[[.”

After pulling his shirt back down, he sits down. “Your turn.”

“Alright. My mother was the first person I killed.”

Sehun’s chest tightens and his heart almost drops. He stares at Kai in disbelief. “You killed your own mother?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Kai says, calmly rewrapping his unfinished third burger. “I was eleven and my father told me he didn’t want to raise a or a goddamn .” Sehun thinks back to his own father; he almost said the same thing before he beat him. “He uh,” the leader shifts around uncomfortably. “He forced me to take a knife and he said if I didn't do it, he’d do it slowly and I’d have to watch. I…” his hands tighten as he stares at his tray. “I didn’t want her to suffer.”

“I’m...I’m sorry for asking,” Sehun says quietly, his throat dry.

“It’s fine,” Kai scoffs. “I asked you about your story too. That uh..that didn’t sound like a cakewalk, you know. I can see why you’re a tough one.” The boy smiles but he doesn’t say anything. He grabs onto his own wrists and grips it tightly. He takes a deep breath when memories threaten to manifest again.

“Does...anyone else know about your mom?"

“No.”

“So..why tell me?” Sehun asks. “You barely know me.”

“It’s weird,” the leader agrees.” But you...remind me of someone.”

“What? Who?”

Kai and Sehun look over when the door opens and D.O’s head pops in. Sehun’s surprised when D.O smiles as he walks in. “You’re feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Kai nods, returning the soft expression. 

Sehun could have sworn D.O had a frown forever stitched to his face.” Sehun,” he looks over to the boy. “Thank you…”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Go to the warehouse and get some rest,” Kai commands and Sehun just nods, too hungry and tired to agree. 

“LAy is waiting for you,” D.O says.

“Thanks,” Sehun stands and goes to the door.”

“Hey, Sehun,” Kai calls out. “You uh...really helped me out, thanks.”

“Stop thanking me, it’s starting to freak me out,” He grumbles as he pushes the door open, leaving the two alone to talk. He stops in the hallway and stares at the wall for a moment. He feels as if he saw the softer side of Kai, one not many people probably see. Perhaps it was Kai himself; raw, real, open, and unguarded. He sighs and looks out the window. “When did it become morning?”

-----------------------------