When I got home, I quietly tip toed back into my room trying my best to not wake up my father or sister. Once I got back into my room I saw at my desk looking down at the workbook I was studying just before I left. I tried my best to go back to studying but my mind blanked and I was merely staring at the page as tears continued to stream down my face and onto my workbook. 

It’s okay, this is not the end of the world. One boy breaking my heart isn’t going to do anything. I can get over this.

I pulled out my cream colored, gold embroidered letter and bunny topped blue black ink pen.

Dear Mark, 

I like you, I’m sure you already know because everyone else knows but I really do sincerely like you. I don’t know when it happened, was it back when we met in Mr. Han’s geography class back in our first year? Or was it when we became closer as friends this year? At one point you just became the center of attention to me, anything and everything you did just captured my attention. 

For the SKILLS competition I was really rooting for you because I wanted to be able to travel with you and tried my best to find loopholes for you to be able to go, but you didn’t want any help.

When you asked me to formals I was really happy because the guy I like asked me to go with him, out of everyone he chose plain me. At some point I became yours without you even knowing. I thought we could have it all. I’m sorry for thinking that way. I wouldn’t think that you or Gyuri did what you two did without me knowing, so maybe it’s better that I try to stop my feelings here. I wish you well even if it’s not with me.

With love,

Hyeri

Putting the letter into a pastel blue envelope and sealing it with a small polar bear sticker, I stamped the envelope and addressed it to Mark. Carefully I pulled out the small turquoise box out of my closet and untied it’s ribbon, opening it’s lid and placing the letter inside before closing it back up and putting the box back. See I write love letters when I have a crush so intense I don’t know what else to do. But I never mail them, simply store them in the back of my closet where they should not be found.

Sitting back down at my desk I stared out my window, my reflection showed the now dried tears. Snapping out of my daze, I saw outside my window my next door neighbor, Na Jaemin. He was holding up a large sketchbook and in his messy handwriting was written,

Are you okay?

I cracked a smile, when we were little it was how the both of us would talk to each other at night after our bedtime. We would spend the whole day playing with each other at the nearby playground and when we got home we would try to yell at one another from our rooms since our windows were right across from each other. I motioned him to wait as I rummaged through my drawers for my sketchbook. Although we live next to each other, the both of us stopped talking to each other some time when we got into middle school. Nothing major happened between us to cause us to stop talking to each other, we simply didn’t have anymore time to spend time together since we both chose to go to different schools, well our parents really, we didn’t have a say in which school we were to go to. Even now that we’re both in high school, we still go to different schools. Jaemin goes to Seulri High School and has his parents drive him everyday since it’s too far of a walking distance and commuting via train would take too long. Whereas I go to Hanroo High School, a 20 minute walk.

Finding my old sketchbook I flipped to a blank page and popped the top off of a purple marker writing back to him,

Yes thank you !

Across from me, he smiled and it was like we were back to being kids, except now it was a boy with a defined jaw and dusty brown dyed messy hair that stood in front of me in his room that was lit with purple led lights.

Study hard!

He wrote before waving goodbye and shutting his blinds.