The bright sun rays over Chaeyoung’s eyes, waking her up from her sleep. She finds herself back in her apartment, with a towel placed on her forehead and a warm blanket around her.

“Ah. My head” She mumbled through her chapped lips, pulling herself up.

“You’re awake” a monotonous voice called her

“Tzuyu? What happened?”

“You happened. You were lucky Dahyun, and I were looking for you right after you ran off”

“Oh.”

Tzuyu walked towards her and sat by her side

“Well?”

“I don’t know” Tzuyu hummed as she reaches out to the cub and placed her hand on her forehead

“Looks like you’re fine,” She shifted about 

“Where’s Dahyun?”

“She’s at Sana’s”

“Why?”

“Apparently, Something had happened, but neither you, her or Jeongyeon would say anything. The girls are worried you know”

“They know about me?” Tzuyu hummed in agreement

“—but we said not to visit you.”

“Oh.”  

Silence engulfed them as Tzuyu continued to arrange things in her room.

“It’s Christmas. Isn’t it?” Chaeyoung breathed and Tzuyu replied with a hum.

“Today is the day.. Are you sure you still don’t want to?” Chaeyoung remained silent as she clenched her chest once again “There is always next year”

“I just want to go home” Tzuyu’s eyes widened as she smiled at the cub patting her head

“Okay then, I’ll let Dahyun know” Chaeyoung nodded as she grasped tighter onto her chest “It’s okay Chae.”

“Thank you, Tzuyu,” She chuckled “Looks like.. Christmas is a curse for me, huh”

“Don’t say that. You’ll never know. Maybe after today, everything will be okay,” she smiled and Chaeyoung reciprocated this gently.

“Thank you,” 

*** 

Sana is wrapped around her blanket as the girls gathered around her.

“Sana, you gotta get out of there,” Jihyo sighed

“No”

“—But it’s Christmas,” Momo whined

“No”

“Are you going to sulk there all day?” Mina sighed and Sana jolted 

“I am not sulking! I AM THINKING. And crying. And confused. And—” Mina hummed and chuckled.

“—and sulking?”

“No!” she grunted and laid back down covering herself yet again.

“May I ask, if this has something to do with Chaeyoung?” Dahyun asked bluntly as she sat with the others

“N-No..” she lied

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It has nothing to do with her, or Jeongyeon”

“I see”

Silenced then engulfed the girls, with nothing but glances and sighs are clear within them.

“Did— Did she say anything?” Sana stuttered and broke the silence under her blanket

“Chaeyoung? No, nothing really.”

“Oh.” Dahyun took a deep breath as she stood from her post

“Well, I better be going now, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu must be waiting for me”

“W-Where are you guys going?” She lifted herself back up.

“Oh, well, it is Christmas. So, We’ll be going back home,” she smiled.

“Today?” Dahyun hummed with a smile

“We always spend it at home. Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone, we’ll see you girls soon,” she chuckled.

“Aww, it’s nice meeting you Dahyun.” Momo pouted

“Yeah, We had fun hanging out with you,” Mina added

“Maybe the next holiday, we can spend it together too,” Nayeon smiled

“Yeah, sure. Just let us know.” She chuckled and waved “Have a Merry Christmas,” she bowed and left.

Sana then plopped back to her bed screaming on top of her lungs, covering her screams with the pillow. 

“You know we are here right?” Jihyo sighed as she shook her head and crossed her arms.

“So, spill” Momo pounced over, laying down beside Sana with a smirk

“Shut up” Sana grimaced, wrinkling her nose

“Sure” she taunted

“No. go away, Momo” she whined and hid her face under the blanket

“I think this has something to do with Chaeyoung,” Momo laughed

“—and Jeongyeon?” Nayeon added

“ah! stop it guys!” she jolted. The girls widened their eyes as they see Sana’s bright red cheeks, her ears affected from the color.

“So it is?” Momo taunted

“C-Can you stop?” she stuttered

“Well, tell us when you are ready. You know we are here right?” Nayeon chuckled, and the latter sighed.

“I-I just don’t know what to do”

“So something did happen last night,” Mina said monotonously

“Is it obvious?”

“Well, You and Jeongyeon came back hand in hand..” she averted her eyes

“ah, yeah, and Chaeyoung never came back. Dahyun and Tzuyu looked for her, but the two didn’t come back too” Nayeon added. Sana sighed as she reached out to her chest and gently grasped this to stop her heart from pounding even louder. Jihyo noticed Sana being uncomfortable. She sighed moved towards her as she gently grabbed her hand.

“Hey, It’s okay.” she smiled

“J-Jihyo”

“Sometimes, things can seem to be unfair. Giving you these choices to make on your own. It’s hard I know, but just take your time and relax okay?”

“But, I—”

“I know.” she chuckled “Actually, we all knew.”

“huh?”

“It’s quite obvious really” Nayeon sighed as she moved to sit beside Sana, placing her hand onto her. Momo and Mina hummed as they both moved behind Sana, offering her comfort.

“It’s okay Sana.” Momo smiled

“It’s just a small obstacle. We are here,” Mina added 

Sana looked at her friends with eyes moistened, her hand trembled and her lips quivered as she hangs her head low. Tears began to fall, her cries filled the room as her friend's comfort her.

“I.. I don’t want to hurt them”

“We know.”

“But doing this, hurts them more. I never knew. Why am I so stupid not to realize this any sooner,” she cried as her friends remained quiet “I can’t give them an answer they would want to hear, I can’t respond to something I would want to say because, If I do. It’ll eventually hurt them.”

Sana cried as nothing else could ever make her stop. She remembered the things each of them did for her; she was dense; she was oblivious. She never knew, how three simple words can break her, can break things that she worked to build up through the years. The girls remained quiet as they hugged the latter, hoping that it’s enough comfort for her.

Just then Mina received a text her phone vibrating in her back pocket. She pulled away from the group looking down at the notification. It was from Jeongyeon.  What is she up to? She swiped up on her phone opening the message. 

Mina grabbed her coat and exited out of the apartment. She was walking to a nearby riverside that her and Jeongyeon would often meet up whenever one of them needed to clear their mind. They helped each other, comforting one another with whatever struggle they were currently facing at that moment. The two always had this weird relationship; they weren’t just friends, but they weren’t best friends either. It was more of just someone willing to listen to the others' concerns, with no judgement. 

The two appreciated this weird relationship they had. The two were good listeners. A good listener knows that the words don’t hold the meaning but the people. They always look to what the heart speaks. A spoken heart talks directly to a silent soul. The most basic need of a human being is to understand and to be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. No matter the occasion, the time, the location the two were always willing to meet at the same spot to listen to the other. 

Mina pulled up her scarf around her neck as the cold wind blew, she approached the bridge and there stood a familiar figure leaning over the fence her head hung low. Mina let out a heavy sigh as she placed her hand on the older’s shoulder. She turned her gaze towards the running water down below. The ice clearly forming around the riverside, the signs of fall fading and the beginning of winter. Their breath clearly seen in the sub-zero temperatures. 

The older placed her hand on top of Mina’s “How is she?” 

“Confused, sulking you know her” 

“Do you think I’m stupid for telling her?” Jeongyeon turned her head towards the younger her hand still on top of hers 

“No, you took a risk. You put yourself out there. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to tell her… most people are too afraid to even take that chance,” Mina turned towards the girl biting the inside of her cheeks. 

Mina knew Jeongyeon’s feelings for Sana. The topic sprung after they started meeting up like this. She understood Jeongyeon’s feelings right now may be too well. She knew how Jeongyeon felt whenever she would make eye contact with Sana. Whenever they would hold hands whenever they would offer their shoulder for the other. She knew it all. “I know she doesn’t love me but I still stay… I still wait… for what? What am I waiting for? It’s never going to be me. But yet I’d still choose you and I’ll choose you over and over again, without a second thought, without a doubt. In a heartbeat I’ll keep choosing you. Maybe I’m stronger than you because I can hide my feelings unlike you, or I’m just a coward too afraid to get hurt and ruin this friendship we have” 

A deep sigh had been released from Jeongyeon’s lips and hung her head over the fence

“I think I shouldn’t have said anything” she pulled up as the cold smoke hovered in every breath she took “I think I just ruined that friendship we built right?” she turned to Mina, pressing her lips into a thin line and her hand shivers from the cold, She sighed, shaking her head trying to hold back her tears.

“What would you do if it doesn’t work out?” The shorter girl tried to gaze through the distance as the running water flows. Jeongyeon’s eyes widened to the thought of not having Sana, with a smile she breathed 

“Then it doesn’t,” she paused taking more of those cold air into her system “You really can’t force a person to love you back, even if you loved them for years and years. That’s not how love works,” she smiled.

“I see..” Mina stuttered, fidgeting her fingers underneath her winter mittens.

“Say, have you ever been in love?”

“Me?”

“Who else?” she chuckled

“I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter.” she took a short glance at Jeongyeon, her heart was pounding, worried that if it continues to be this loud, Jeongyeon would probably notice. Unfortunately, Jeongyeon is oblivious as Sana.

“Don’t try it” Jeongyeon uttered monotonously

“huh?”

“Don’t fall in love.. because it hurts. It’ll make you feel as if everything is perfect, everything is just too good to be true.” she chuckled, gazing over the flowing waters across her “loving someone is a great experience, it makes you forget about reality, it makes you forget the pain when you’re with her. Holding her hand, listening to her voice, hearing her laugh, it’s perfect.. as if time just stood still with nothing to worry about but just the two of you”

“If love is that perfect, then.. why-“

“-because that perfectness, can disappear. It can break you, shatter you to pieces that you don’t even know how you’ll ever fix it.” She paused with a chuckle, “When you’re in love, expectations arises. Those expectations, will stab you, until you don’t have anything left of you. Love is dark and never to be trusted,” Jeongyeon’s head hung low once again, her breathing intensified, clasping her chest slowly trying to hold back her tears “It’s just an illusion, for you to fall for that trap. Especially, if she doesn’t belong to you.” 

“Is it that painful?” Jeongyeon chuckled at Mina’s question as she stood tall and stared into her eyes 

“Very.. because, there is no chance she’ll ever see you the way you see her. Your love may never return, so save yourself the heartbreak and don’t try it” she faked a smile as she gently grabbed Mina’s hand. The cloth of their gloves separates the warm feeling of their touch. Mina’s heart beats louder as she held tightly to Jeongyeon’s hand, hoping for her to feel her own warmth and comfort. Jeongyeon smiled as she noticed the younger’s sudden grip.

“I am fine, you don’t have to worry about me”

“If only there’s a way to stop loving someone, how our world will be perfect”

“There is no such thing. There is no way you could stop liking someone. It’s either you be caught or crash,” she stared into her deeply, noticing how her eyes were slightly moistening up 

“Is everything okay, Mina?”

“Yeah” she stuttered “everything is okay” Jeongyeon noticed her tone of sadness as she pulled the latter into a hug, gently wrapping her arms around her. Mina took a deep breath as she held her tightly with her eyes closed.

‘Oh lord, Please, let me stay here longer. Please, stop the time. I don’t ever want to leave this warm feeling I feel inside. I don’t care, if she hears my heart. Just let me stay here a little bit longer, grant me this wish, just this one more time.’

Jeongyeon and Mina’s weird relationship is a comfortable one. It is not defined, nor labeled. They understood each other even without uttering a word as their eyes do the talking. They were in sync with each other’s feelings and thoughts, however; it is normal for at least one of them to be hiding something from the other, it’s called being human, and humans falls in love. 

‘At this rate, I might not hold back any longer, I need to stop’

***

Chaeyoung, Dahyun and Tzuyu were found to be waiting at the train station bound to Chungnam for the holidays. The weather was cold as snow gradually hovers above them.

“Are you sure you guys didn’t leave anything?” Dahyun asked one more time as she rummages through her bag.

“Nope, We are all good.”

“Cool, Let me just call mom that we’ll be leaving soon,” she pulled out her phone as she excused herself 

“Mom is still there?” Chaeyoung asked and Tzuyu hummed with a smile, “I thought she’s leaving you guys here and go to the states?”

“Well, looks like things changed you know.” She laughed “Plus, I have to take care of Dahyun.. even if she is the oldest, I feel like I am responsible for her,” she chuckled.

“Oh.” Chaeyoung smiled as she hung her head and fidgets her thumbs

“You know” Tzuyu uttered as they watch the horizon across them with the view of the bright sun with a dash of snow. “Mom really missed you, She always asks how you are doing, and if you are doing fine in Seoul” she chuckled

“I’m sorry.. If I had to leave”

“It’s okay, It’s for the best right?” she smiled at the cub, patting her head “But we won't lie, we do miss you Chae”

“I missed you guys too,” she smiled

A few moments, the train arrived from the left of the track as it reached the platform. 

“Dahyunnie, let’s go,” Tzuyu called

“Ah, I am coming— bye mom” she dropped the call and grinned as she ran towards the two. Chaeyoung chuckled as she followed the two latter in.

Chaeyoung is found sitting by the window seat with the sun brightly shining through it. The trees in the foreground were blurred as the train passes them quickly. The green fields glistened from the ray that was emitted from the sun. Chaeyoung released a sigh as she watched the path 

“I’m going to see him” Chaeyoung said leaning her head on the window looking out at the passing scenery 

“What?” The two girls turned to her in shock

“Are you sure?” Dahyun asked putting her hand on Chaeyoung’s, She only nodded in response 

They got off the train walking together in silence. Dahyun and Tzuyu uneasily followed Chaeyoung concerned about her reaction when she sees him for the first time after all these years. They weren’t sure how she would react; they knew how hurt she was; they knew how long it took for Chaeyoung to get to where she is now. They witnessed every tear that trickled down her face, taking her in during that time, taking care of her, looking out for her. They knew the impact he left on her and they couldn’t lie they were terrified.