Chaeyoung was walking back to her apartment with a smile plastered on her face. Just at the moment, she reaches closer, She head reached her hand out to the knob; Her smile slowly disappears as she heard a faint conversation behind the door

“What time will she be back?”

“She’ll be back soon..”

“Are you sure? It’s that time of the year. you know?”

“Yeah. This is why we are here right?” The girl behind the door sighed.

“I really want to help Tzuyu.. but, how long do you think we’ll be here for her, it’s senior year.. do you-” The girl stuttered as her voice slowly cracked “Do you really think.. we’ll be with her forever?”

“I know.. She’s trying, Dahyun”

“I know.. but. I love Chaeyoung, I don’t want her to suffer again... Not.. again..”

“That’s why we’re here...”

In between their conversation, the front door swung open revealing Chaeyoung with a slight smile on her face

"Chaengu!" The small girl called out

"Hey, Dahyun.."

"So, hows the date?" The tall girl gave out a chuckle

"It was good, Jeongyeon was there too" she chuckled softly

"Oh..- so it was a trio thing?"

"Something like that"

"I'm sorry.."

"Nah, It's okay Tzuyu- well.. have you girls eaten?"

"Yeah.. we've been waiting for quite some time" Dahyun eyed the girl as she moves around

"Cool.."

Silence had engulfed the room, with nothing but the clanging of the plates as Chaeyoung prepared food for herself. Dahyun and Tzuyu glanced at each other as they gulped and sighed. Dahyun took her first breath to release the words she wished to utter.

"The day is near."

The latter halted at the phrase as she knew what it meant; She knew where it would lead and the spoon she held in her hand trembled in fear as she tried to inch it closer to her lips. 

"You idiot" Tzuyu smacked the smaller girl's head

"Ah... I'm... I'm just saying.."

"It's okay.. I know it's near" Chaeyoung uttered, bit her lip and her eyes slightly becomes moistened 

"Chae.. Don’t you think we should pay him a visit this year?"

"I understand.. but.." The girls watched her and anticipated her next phrases "I don’t think I would want to go."

The two girls glanced at each other with their eyes widened

‘I don’t need to see him, I don’t want to.. I'll be fine.. I’m fine on my own.'

"This year too? But.. It’s been 2 years and-"

"I know and I don't want to go back.. I don't want to see him.."

'I do want to see him.. I do but I just can’t. Something in my system just wouldn’t allow me to see him'

Dahyun and Tzuyu glanced at each other with a bit of relief and nervousness

"Chae.. maybe it’s time for you to-"

"Just stop." The raise of voice from the latter alerted them for quite some time, "I just don’t want to. You can just leave tomorrow and I'll be fine. You are not obliged to be with me anyway"

'I don't want to bother anyone anymore..'

The girls sighed as they knew what she was on about. Dahyun and Tzuyu were quick witted for the latter so they smiled and moved closer to Chaeyoung

"You know what, It's that time of the year.. We made vacation plans" Dahyun smiled

"h-huh?"

"It already snowed didn't it? So, Gyeondu High is closed" Tzuyu smiled

"We're spending Christmas with you Chaengu" Dahyun laughed as she pounced over the latter

"But I don’t like Christmas"

"Well.." Dahyun leaned down with a smile, "Whether you love it or hate it, you are not spending it alone" She smiled

"But I am fine alo-." Dahyun immediately hugged the latter with a sigh of relief

“We love you Chae” she giggled. Chaeyoung sighed with nothing else to counter the latter “Don’t ever forget that.”

🌨️ 

A loud slam of books erupted on top of her desk startling the latter 

“ah! Momo? W-what-” She started as Momo immediately smirked at her

“Hey Sana, I heard you spent the first snow with your.. ‘BEST..FRIENDS’”

“Y-Yeah, it was fun” She awkwardly laughed

“Oh sure, it was,” She sighed “How does it feel to have two people like you Sana,” she laughed

“Like?- well it’s okay, they are my best friends,” she awkwardly laughed

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah?”

“is that all?”

“of-Of course.”

“If you say so Sana..” Momo sighed as she began to walk away from the latter

“W-Why?- huh? M-Momo?”

“It’s for me to keep and for you to find out, girl.. You are just way too dense” 

“Momo!” Momo never looked back and left her wondering what she meant

‘I wonder what she meant by that?’

In her vision, loads of students are now preparing and packing their things as they leave school. They require all schools to be closed right after the first snow hits, finally giving the students their winter break. Sana looked around as the students began to leave, she spotted Jihyo, Nayeon and Jeongyeon including Mina and Momo. She also spotted some of her friends preparing to move through the cold and back home. 

"Where.. is Chaeyoung..?" She looked around to look for the small cub, searching high and low until she remembered that one spot Chaeyoung loves to stay at.

She began to walk through the halls and pass the stairs to reach that final step towards the rooftop.

"Ch-Chaeyoung?" Sana pants as she looked around to see that one girl standing over that barrier of the roof once again

Chaeyoung didn't notice Sana’s presence as Sana remained quiet, she watched the girl stare out towards the sunset with a dash of snow falling onto her. She stared carefully to see Chaeyoung’s eyes glisten to the sun’s reflection, and a tear trickling down on the side of her cheek. Sana watched and remained quiet as she could until her eyes widened to a phrase Chaeyoung once uttered. 

"Stop.. Please.. Stop.." She mumbled with a sigh enough for Sana to hear, to ponder as the curiosity in her system grew wider

"Ch-Chaeyoung?" She spoke, enough to break that silence, enough for her to approach the latter. 

"Sana..? Why are you here?" She immediately wiped her tears and acted that nothing was bothering her

"I was just looking for you, Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am." She smiled and jumped down from the roof barrier to meet Sana "You don't have to worry"

"—But.." Chaeyoung just smiled and immediately grab Sana's hand as she pulls her out from the rooftop

The latter was caught off guard from Chaeyoung's sudden gesture as she watched the small girl pull her with a smile on her face

'Chaeyoung.. You're smiling? She's.. smiling..' Sana thought as she watched the small cub gently pulling her out of the school corridors a small smile on her face. 

‘I want to walk away… I want to try harder… I want to let you go… this feeling… this pain… no matter how hard I try I can’t stop thinking about you. I just want to be in your loving arms… kiss your soft lips… look into your beautiful eyes… I’d still choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in any version of reality, I’d find you and choose you’ Chaeyoung squinted as she continued to pull Sana behind her and left the school corridors towards the gate to find Dahyun and Tzuyu waving at the cub not once looking back at Sana. 

“Dahyun! Tzuyu!” She excitedly smiled as she ran, letting go of Sana’s hand to hug her two friends. Sana stood there, her smile disappearing under the snow.

Chaeyoung turned to call Sana out, hence making the girl pull back her smile as she walked towards Chaeyoung and her friends.

"Hey" Sana uttered with a smile, the two girls glanced at each other and waved calmly to the latter

“This is Dahyun and Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung pointed at them, respectively. “They’re here to visit me during the Christmas season”

“Nice to meet you,” Sana smiled

“Nice to meet you too,” they both said in unison

“So Chaeyoung? Ready?” Dahyun smiled as she clung onto the cub

“Oh, you guys are going somewhere?” Sana asked

“Yeah.. wanna come with?” Tzuyu said in a monotonously

“Yeah, we are going Christmas shopping” Dahyun added with a grin

“Ah.. she.. might be busy” Chaeyoung stuttered as her eyes averted, wanting to avoid the possibility of being with Sana any longer

“Oh, I am not busy at all”

“What?” Chaeyoung turned to find Sana smiling at, talking to her with her eyes reflecting the sunset and the snow. “A-are you sure?” Sana smiled and nodded “Well, okay then. If you don’t mind”

Sana shook her head with a chuckle “No, I don’t mind”

“Okay” Was all Chaeyoung could utter as her friends invited Sana to join them with open arms.

During the walk towards the city center of Seoul— Sana, Dahyun, and Tzuyu were laughing, giggling and having some random conversations as they got the chance to know each other. Chaeyoung followed them quietly with silent thoughts trying to ignore the fact that Sana is there.

Sana then turned behind to see Chaeyoung back to her normal self. Dahyun and Tzuyu noticed this as they glanced at each other and nodded.

“Hey! We are here” Dahyun exclaimed As they arrived at the city center with tons of people who’ve been starting to do their Christmas shopping. Red tags are scattered and displayed for the season, lights are also prepared and a giant Christmas tree stood tall at the center. 

“Whoa. Seoul sure is prepared,” Dahyun looked around

“Yeah, Christmas season is a really nice season too,” Sana commented

“So! How do we do this?” Dahyun began

“Uh, is it just the three of you for Christmas?” Sana asked

“Yeah.. it always had been” Tzuyu uttered in a monotone voice. Sana hummed as an idea popped out of her head

“How about you three join us on Christmas eve? My place. We can all exchange gifts there”

“Really?” Dahyun exclaimed

“Yeah, Cool.. but we don’t know anyone,” Tzuyu added

“Don’t worry, they are all nice, we can just randomize the gifts by picking numbers!” 

“Okay? Are you sure we can join?”

“Absolutely!”

“Cool! So, what should we get?” Dahyun asked

“Anything, we are all girls.. so, Just go with what you think a girl would like” Sana smiled with her eyes. She feels excited to spend Christmas with Chaeyoung, Jeongyeon, and everyone else.

Sana then walked towards Chaeyoung as she stares down at her with a smile and saw that she’s wearing the locket she gave; which really made her happy.

“Chaeyoungie?” The latter answered in a hum as their eyes locked the moment she looked at her “You’ll be fine joining us right?”

“Yeah.. sure”

“I’m glad, I get to spend Christmas with you and everyone else this year.” She smiled with her eyes with a high-toned giggle.

“So...? PRESENTS!” Dahyun exclaimed with excitement 

“Yeah.. yeah..” 

“TZUYU! Let’s go here!” Dahyun dragged her around the stores

“Ah! G-guys” Chaeyoung tried to reach out for her friends but Dahyun and Tzuyu seemed to be running with joy. She sighed. Sana chuckled as she gently grabbed the latter’s hand and intertwined it. 

Chaeyoung jolted from Sana’s gesture. Sana giggled as she noticed that the cub was tensed.

“Relax, I am not gonna hurt you Chaeyoung,” she laughed

“Right.”

“So, shall we look around?”

“Yeah.”

🌨️

Sana and Chaeyoung began walking hand in hand around the heart of Seoul as the snow gradually piles above them.

"So, your friends—" Sana paused and averted her eyes "Are they—"

"Chungnam.. they have been there with me from that moment I left"

“I see.. so that’s where you went” she giggled with a sad tone that was noticeable. Chaeyoung hummed and could only nod her head. Sana anticipated a topic to talk about, a topic that she and her could enjoy the conversation, but nothing seems to pop out, nothing could make her break the silence. 

The walk seemed endless, and Chaeyoung’s hand felt colder than ever.

“So, is there something you wanted to do?”

“Nothing really. Do you have something in mind?”

“How about we leave this crowded place and maybe get some hot chocolate from the convenience store?” Chaeyoung smiled and nodded their hands still intertwined as they left the busy city.

They walked out to grab something to keep themselves warm without a word uttered to each other. Chaeyoung followed Sana’s lead to walk at the quiet sidelines of the street. 

“Ah, it sure is cold tonight..” Sana breathed to her hand to keep it warm as they walked “I guess that hot cocoa didn't help” she giggled and Chaeyoung answered with a hum placing her hands in the pockets of her coat. Sana sighed and the silence just continued to grow, making her lose the ability to even utter another word.

Chaeyoung noticed how Sana had been trying to keep the conversation going, but she is just too stubborn to even try.

“Sana?”

“Yeah?”

“Give me your hand”

“Huh?” She hesitantly reached out her hand to the small girl as Chaeyoung held this gently, guiding her hand in her pockets.

“It’s warmer here.”

“T-Thanks” and the silence continued.

Sana’s eyes lit up when she saw the old park across them. She tugged on Chaeyoung’s arm pointing at the park. 

“Chaeyoung! Look it’s an old park!” Chaeyoung stayed silent as she recognized the familiar park 

“Do you want to check it out?” She smiled anticipating for an agreement from the cub

“W-well..” 

“Let’s go!” She said excitingly

“W-wait Sana?” 

She tugged on the cubs arm pulling her as she ran towards the park. Chaeyoung could feel the cold breeze on her warm face. The trees dancing in the wind, the branches exposed it’s fallen leaves on the ground covered by snow. It left a bearable sting on her cheeks nothing compared to the one in her chest. This park was nothing like the ones Chaeyoung saw in her old province. There were formal gardens for the elderly, benches, ornamental trees and flowers year round. With, a water fountain in the center decorated in Christmas decorations at this time of year. Not in the big city. Here a park meant acres of concrete mixed with neat grass foregrounds. They had basketball courts, big structure playgrounds, skateboarder basins. There were always music being played clashing from various sources.

Chaeyoung’s eyes skimmed over the once familiar park, she watched as Sana ran over to the swing set while she stood still observing the park. ‘It’s still the same after all these years nothing has changed’ She fought hard to keep the tears building up in the corner of her eyes. The memories coming back to her with no warning. ‘All these memories come back but you never do’. Chaeyoung looked at the ground, still, motionless she wanted to sink into her knees let the pain all out. ‘If only it was that easy’. Her eyes met with a silvery object reflecting the setting sun, she dug it out of the snow holding it in her palm. A 100 won coin she flipped it over checking the date of its release; 2002. A faint smile played on her face before she replaced it with a sorrowful one. ‘2002.. It was always your favorite one to collect’ she thought reminiscing about the faded memories.

The sorrow grew more profound each year I spent in my quiet, lonely house the solemn walls reviving the memory of my losses like an exhibit in a museum. It feels so long since I was honest, truthful and full of love it seems so out of reach now. All I am is sadness. Where there was once love, light and laughter is an aching hollowness. I want to say I miss you but I know it will change nothing so I just keep on pretending I don’t’ 

The sadness flowed through her veins and deadened her mind; It was like a river cold and never ending. It was a poison to her spirit washing all other emotions leaving her as a mere shell of what she once was. Chaeyoung was lost in her thoughts unaware of the paused time around her staring endlessly at the coin. Unaware of Sana’s presence in front of her. 

Sana noticed the cub's sudden tense aura as she glanced at her at the corner of her eye— she sighed as if she could understand her situation. She gently clung to the cub, with no words to utter and held onto her tightly, linking their arms for comfort. . The Silence and the cold breeze had engulfed them. Chaeyoung hung her head as she continued to stare at the coin she was holding.

“Why are you always here at times like this?” She mumbled as her eyes began to moisten. Sana heard her words clearly but did not respond, instead— she gently grasped onto her arm, letting Chaeyoung know she is not alone. 

“Of all days.. of all times, of all people.. why does it have to be you”

Sana doesn't know how to react or what to say. It filled her with assumptions that could confuse her and Chaeyoung’s situation. So, she just remained silent, and let the wind blow through them calmly under the subtle snow giving the cub, that freedom to express.

The silence was killing Sana slowly; she wanted to help; she wanted to say something, but it seems as if that’s not what Chaeyoung would need right now.

“I miss him..” Chaeyoung mumbled as tears slowly dropped onto her cheeks, while she fidgets with the coin she held.

Sana moved towards her and bent down to see her face. Chaeyoung saw her as her eyes widened. Sana just gave her a gentle smile, watching her— trying to give her that comfort, the way she knows how.

“S-Sana..”

“It’s okay Chaeyoung,” she said with a bright smile  “I am here for you..”

“You don’t understa—“

“I may not.. but, it doesn’t mean I have to stop being with you” she smiled yet again— and her curiosity grew to that small mystery the cub is releasing. 

“Sana..” Sana chuckled and sat onto the snow-covered pavement with her legs crossed. She reached out her hand for Chaeyoung as if she was reaching for her face.

“I’m here Chaengie” she smiled how she used to smile. Chaeyoung’s eyes widened, as her vision of Sana, turned into a small flashback.

“I’m here Chaengie” A smaller kid who sat in front of her with her legs crossed, reaching out for her with that bubbly smile of hers. “I’ll always be here” 

Chaeyoung began to cry in front of the little kid, as the girl stood up and cupped Chaeyoung’s cheeks

“Dont cry Chaengie.. You are not alone” The kid said and smiled at her as Chaeyoung’s vision faded to reality.

Sana was smiling in front of her with her legs crossed and her hand still reaching out. Chaeyoung sniffed to stop her tears from flowing. Sana then stood up as she cupped the cubs cheeks lifting it up to face her.

“I don’t know what’s going on in your mind right now.. but please remember, you are not alone, Chaengie” she smiled, and caught her off guard. Without another word, Chaeyoung immediately hugged the taller girl, finally letting her tears flow, finally opening up to Sana.

Sana chuckled and hugged her tighter “I’ll always be here..” she mumbled as she let her unwind. The cold breeze felt warmer, Chaeyoung’s touch felt closer as both hearts seemed to pound silently for each other.

“Sana..”

“I’m here” she giggled