“I cannot believe you just said that.” Sehun muttered, looking at her incredulously.

And Soojung instantly met his eyes, quirking her lips into a cheshire grin as response to him. She may not mention this but it was always her thing to make him change this stoic expression of him. He’d always been so cold, so scary that even other people find him unapproachable. And she wants to change that for him. “Sehun, I don’t like that look on you.”

Sehun looked at her in aghast, trying his best to pull himself together— he wasn’t going to be prude or anything but he was just surprised to be an actual witness of these crazy girl topics at hand. There really just some things that he doesn’t prefer to listen to, okay. “I think I’m scarred for life. And it is your entire fault.”

Soojung beat him with her hideous laughter clutching on her stomach for dear life as she succumbed to this craziness. Sehun can only scowl at her, wanting to stick this pointy end of the umbrella into his ears until it bled.

“I don’t get why you are being dramatic over me and my friend’s conversation! It’s not like I complain when you guys talk about . Just because we are women, is it such a crime for us to dwell in such topic?” She arched an eyebrow, “We can talk about everything. We cannot be defined on these modest, domestic roles you guys would always prefer us with. That is so boomer generation! We are more than that. We should have the same respect as men do!”

“Soojung, I am not stopping you to do whatever you want. Of course, I believe in women supremacy and guys are being stupid—“

“I don’t believe you don’t talk to your friends about , Sehun. You have rowdy friends and you have Jongin as the prime example!” Soojung shook her head lightly, “Don’t act so prude.”

“Again, I am not being prude. Guys talk about but in a discreet manner and you can never hear a girl’s name being mentioned. Maybe the positions and the place where we have it but that’s only that…” Sehun defended himself, raising both his hands as if he was at her mercy and continues, “You can talk about , about anything at all but please spare me the details. I am friends with that poor guy, did you know? Have you ever imagined how will I act around him now without thinking that he has a small ? I honestly don’t want any other women talk about how I was during to be very honest.”

Without thinking, Soojung threw her head back and roared into another loud fit of laughter, leading to every student in the area to turn on them with startled and surprised expressions.

And for a second, Sehun felt like time has stopped.

Have you ever watched a movie where the camera would zoom in the center of his attraction and like everything was just a backdrop? This is exactly how it was every single time they were together. He can barely kept up because his concept of time will always be in ruins—with hours feeling like minutes and seconds lasting forever…. every time that they were together, Sehun will never fail to wish for longer time to spend with her. He knows he is losing it as it was very overwhelming and painful most of the time and he just cannot stop loving her any more than he could stop his heart from beating.

He stared at her for a long moment, focusing on her and giving her his full attention. It was so crazy how much he badly wants her and it’s just like a torture for him in fighting off this strong gravitational pull towards her. He clenched his hand into a fist, stopping himself from reaching out to curl her hair behind her ears, to touch her… or even to cup her face and capture her lips with his… no… doing so will ruin everything.—he pulled himself out of his hazy mind and heaved a deep breath yet it is still hard to breathe.

Let’s face it, it wasn’t just her beautiful face that he was struck with but because she’s more than her facial features. He finds it undeniably attractive to find her being true to herself— have you seen her right now? How she doesn’t even care about the eyes on them as she howls into this very loud laughter? How messy she looks right now with paint stains in her fingers and shirt? She’s comfortable in her skin and she doesn’t need anyone’s validation to love herself. She made him see beauty in things he once thought was only ordinary. He doesn’t want to leave her side… he’d want to see her live her best life and help her chase her dreams or aid her to find new things to be passionate about.

Soojung’s laughter died down, wiping her happy tears away with her paint-stained fingers and looked at him dearly. And oh boy, he very much knew that smirk on her face will ruin him one way or another.

“You know… we have known each other for long but I cannot remember anyone you introduced as your lover. I’ve shown you my exes, my crushes and flings but you? You never did!” She emphasised, “Not even once!”

Sehun’s heart began to race— why the was he on a literal hot seat? He could feel sweat dampen on his side burns and he is growing nervous. He will never like where this conversation will be led. “I never keep secrets from you if this where this conversation is going. You know everything about me.” He ended it.

“And that’s only because I forced you to tell me everything.”

Sehun shed an incredulous look at her, “You never forced me to do anything. Everything I do and say was all of my doing. I trust you.” He reasoned, “Haven’t you ever considered the fact that maybe I wasn’t sharing anything about my love life was because there was actually no one? I can barely spend time with anyone if it wasn’t for work. I am terribly busy with everything.”

“Is there any other reason why you are still single, then?”

“Aside from the fact that I just don’t want to, I can’t think of anything else.”

“Or is it because of me?”

“What?” He breathed. He could feel his heart beating on his throat and any moment, he can never be sure if he’d puke right here.

“Sometimes, Sehun, I feel like I was being selfish and I’m being possessive of you. I feel like girls are scared to make a move on you because we’re always together. Maybe someone has already piqued your interest so far but I…” She shrugged, curling few strands of hair behind her ear. “Sehun, won’t you get lonely?”

In that moment, Sehun’s heart stopped for a moment before he booted it up. He ran his hand over his hair as his breath caught in his throat. He contemplated in his thoughts to run away, hoping for the ground to eat him up to escape this dangerous situation he was suddenly falling in. His eyes darted at the students playing ball behind her. He glanced at the leaf falling from the tree. He looked at the woman who’s talking animatedly with her boyfriend beside the fountain. Sehun looked everywhere but her eyes. He doesn’t want to meet her gaze because he’s afraid she’d see what he is feeling but one he cannot say. He’s afraid that she’d figure out how he’d look at her like how it was in fairytales: dreamy, full of wonders and so much affection.

“I will never get lonely. I have you.” He confessed.

Soojung rolled her eyes, a small smile lurking in her lips. “Is there someone, then?”

He looked up at her and his heart momentarily stopped as their gazes locked against each other and he can only hope that she will not recognize that look of want in his eyes. And as much as he wants to, he also prays that she wouldn’t see the way how he looks at her differently than how he looks at other women. How he looked at her like it was the first time he’d seen stars or the way his eyes sparkle like she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

He shook his head.

“You’re no fun.” She rolled her eyes, slapping his arm.

It hurt.

“If there is someone, will you tell me?”

“I will.” He promised.

“And if I found someone whom I’d love, will you still stay by my side?”

It hurt more.

”I will.” He cannot promise that.

And he knows he’ll always be that man who will love her from afar. He knows his place and he chose to stay in that corner. Let’s face it, time will come that she’ll find someone whom will replace his role in her life and he’d no longer be that someone she asked to sneak out for midnight snack or that someone she confide with secrets she doesn’t tell her family. He just hopes who may be that lucky guy, he hopes he offers that kind of love that makes her feel free to laugh loudly and not those calculated laughter to not embarrass the guy. That kind of love that makes her feel safe to actually talk about sensitive topics like this and fill her with courage and strength to actually voice out whatever she wanted to tell.

Sehun cleared his throat, tilting the umbrella more on her direction to shade her from the afternoon sun and said nothing. Silence reigned between them and it was anything but awkward between them. As they walk together, he could feel her staring at him and he looked down to meet her gaze, a sweet smile tugged at her lips as she freely hooked her arms around his free arm.

“Do you want to hear a joke?” Soojung gestured for him to bend his head a little lower to meet her height. She cupped with her hands to whisper on his ears. “What did the toaster said to the bread?”

“What?” He tilted his head in curiosity before he gaped at her upon realization, eyebrows furrowing in warning— such sight of him changing his expressions in a small time frame was her favourite of him! “Jung Soojung, I swear to god—“

“He said I want you inside me.” Soojung squealed, clamping a hand over . And he just watched her laughed merrily before he found himself joining her into fits of laughter. All of a sudden, he just realized that there will never be anyone in the world that he will love more than Soojung.

It doesn’t really matter how much he could give for love because he knew that even if someone used all language in the world, it will never be enough to describe the love he has for her. It will never be enough to be put in words.