Sehun grasped two things:  uncertainty and anxiety run through his vein in this whole ordain and thinking hard of what will happen next caused him a decent sleep. He was so convinced that the likelihood of her remembering is very slim knowing full well how she gets when she’s drunk. He leaned against the counter, holding his coffee with both of his hands to warm himself. His head aches from the lack of sleep and overthinking and adding to that was his pounding heartbeat shrieks at his ears as he heard her movements across his room. She’s awake. She’s here.

A little later, there she is… standing right in front of him with a shy grin curled into her lips. “Hey.” She whispered a greeting in which he responded back with a slight nod. She curled a few strands of hair behind her ears as she took a seat across his kitchen counter, nodding at him. “Can I have coffee, too?”

“Of course.” Sehun reached for another mug near him to pour her a coffee and placing it before her and adding a box of creamer and sugar for her. A pained expression crossed his face, his pounding heartbeat chokes him, as he fought the urge to ask her if she remembers— he’s very quiet and he’s afraid that any minute that pass may let his tears run. He let a blanket of deafening silence hover over them, and no one dared to make any attempts of a light conversation as they let themselves enjoy the warm coffee.

“Does your head hurt? Do you want some advil?”

Her expression is hesitant, but she beat him to it as she locked her gaze with his, “About last night….”

And Sehun can only pinpoint at how confused she looked right now. It took him a moment to realize that this might be the doom that he was trying so hard to avoid happening. He acknowledged the fact that he was just not lucky enough to have everything in life, to either have a beautiful story with her or even have a person he can make a home with. A conflicted feeling beat him mercilessly as he knew where this will lead to— him, curled up on the floor and crying over a broken heart.

He cleared his throat, curling a grin on his lips to reassure her. “It’s fine, Soojung. You were drunk. I understand.”

Soojung shook her head, placing the cup beside her. “No, you don’t understand, Sehun. We’re best friends and I feel like I have not respected that.”

“Okay…” Sehun sighed, and he can only nod and let himself laugh softly— who was he kidding?

“But you know what, Sehun… I realized I don’t want to be your best friend anymore.” Soojung admitted.

He stared at her, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I want more than that.” Soojung emphasized, “I am so tired of pretending that there isn’t something between us … I am so tired of pushing you to date other women when all I ever wanted was for you to date me. Haven’t you ever noticed the way we act with each other isn’t something normal best friends do? You treat me as your best friend, sure… but I want to be that best friend where you fall in love with— Hard. Real. Irreplaceable. Someone you can’t live without. Someone you want to hold, to touch, to never let go… to kiss until you must pull away to breathe… I want to be that kind of friend, Sehun.”

His thoughts were all over his head and it took him a moment to let her words slowly sank in his system. A grin tugged at his lips before a genuine smile broke into his face, his eyes danced with delight; he stood before her, pulling her into a tight hug and burying his head on the space between her neck and shoulders.

“I’m in love with you. More than you ever know.” He whispered to her ears. He could feel her smile against his skin, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and sighed in contentment. They stood there for a moment, holding each other.

Sehun moved his head, pressed his lips to her neck, up to her jaw and to her cheeks. She closed her eyes as she felt his feathery kisses against her skin. His other hand cupped her cheek before he pressed a warm, light kiss to her lips. She moved her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, tasting his lips more for her delight with her fingers ran through his hair as she kissed him. He broke the kiss, taking a deep breath before he leaned his forehead against hers.

“I never knew it would be possible for you to be with me…”

“Why?” Soojung mumbled, pressing her lips again to his as she held their faces closer together. Sehun closed his eyes, nibbling on her bottom lip as he tightened his hold against her hip, wanting to get enough of her.

“I kept my feelings for you for years because of fear that I’d lose you in my life. I tried fighting it, pushing it all down because I’d rather feel numb inside than ruining this good relationship we have. I want to forget you but on the other hand, I know that you are the only person in this entire universe that will make me happy. I am falling harder for you every single day that we are together, every friendly hangout we have, every little secret we keep, every memory we share…. I really wanted to be with you all the time… and I really wanted it to be you.” Sehun breathes, his voice croaked as he lowered his head to hide the impending pressure he could feel behind his eyes. “Soojung, you have a place in my heart no one could ever have.”

“Oh, Sehun…” Soojung crooned, running one of her hands to his hair and the other lightly trailing along his face, his jaw and up to his lips. Sehun pressed a kiss on her finger, closing his eyes. “It came to the point that I just want you to be happy… that I am slowly accepting the fact that it can be with someone else… It does not matter to me if it’s with me or not.”

“But I don’t want anybody. I only want you. I also want it to be you as you are with me.” Soojung whispered, an endearing smile curled into her lips, “In the future, I don’t want you to keep anything from me. I want to know what you are feeling, what you are thinking… may it be negative or your happiness… Sehun, I want to be there for you.”

His lips break into a smile, “I’m sorry for being a coward… for not letting you know earlier. I am just far from perfect… If I— “

“We’re not always easy to love. I don’t need perfect. I need you to be just as authentic as you are. You love me in your own imperfect way, and I accept you for who you are…. and I am going to love you more for it. In fact, I’d prefer it this way. Maybe it is really meant to take some time. We met and liked people we always thought we’ll end up with. But they’re not… We learned with our past experiences, our heartbreaks… and it made us stronger and better for each other… don’t you think so? From now on, we’ll get through everything together…no more secrets.…”

Sehun leaned his forehead against hers, mirroring her bright smile. “No more secrets.”

They both know they can never make a relationship as perfect as those of movies they have watched— they’d surely make foolish mistakes or have arguments over big or petty things, but they promised to try together anyways and love each other always, in all ways…

IG edits made by sinanggag | photos used are not mine
this chapter is dedicated to my friend, boonanis, you are strong, brave & loved— i love you. <3