“… and then she started crying. I didn’t want to get emotional, but I couldn’t help it at that point. It was all too much, you know? I sort of feel like a part of me still loves her, but not in the same way, like all this time I just wanted an apology so we could move past this hating each other phase. So naturally, my next move was to suggest shots—” Sana explained, but suddenly Rosé’s eyes were far away, and her jaw dropped.

 

                “What?” Sana asked, mildly annoyed that something had distracted Rosé from her very important story. She turned around in her seat to look at Momo and Chaeyoung who had just walked in arm and arm.

 

                “Oh yeah, Momo drank too much and stayed over. Don’t worry they haven’t—”

 

                “Her hair… it’s pink,” Rosé mumbled in awe.

 

                Sana snorted and pushed Rosé’s face away from the two girls who were now heading down their aisle, “Quit staring,”

 

                “It looks bloody good!” Rosé exclaimed looking at Sana instead.

 

                “I think her girlfriend would agree with you,” Sana deadpanned, “You remember, my best friend/roommate Momo?”

 

                Rosé rolled her eyes, “Yeah, sure—wait they’re dating?”

 

                “They didn’t deny it when I said they were…” Sana trailed off, “That’s as good as confirmed to me. Besides, we’ve known Momo’s always been a little slow on the draw, so even if they aren’t yet, I know she wants to be,”

 

                “I’m rapt for them,”

 

                “Me too, though our apartment is going to feel kind of empty when Momo starts sleeping at Chaeyoungie’s more. On a positive note, now that I have Tzuyu to snuggle at night I shouldn’t be sleepwalking, so Momo really has no excuse not to sleep at home. Anyway, how are you and Jennie doing? Still going strong?”

 

                “Yeah, wait, did I tell you she stopped having her panic attacks? Like after we talked everything out, she said she felt so much better like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. If I had known that was troubling her so much, I would have talked to her ages ago… we were both just being stupid and holding back how we felt from each other,”

 

                “What did I tell you!” Sana gloated.

 

                Rosé was about to respond when Chaeyoung and Momo arrived and sat down next to them.

 

                “Good morning ladies,” Chaeyoung said grinning brightly at the other two girls.

 

                Sana turned to Rosé and raised an eyebrow. She didn’t realize the two girls were back to being cool again. The Aussie just shrugged before replying to Chaeyoung, “It certainly is,”

 

                ~

 

                Mina showed up early at the library to meet Dahyun like she usually did, but she couldn’t help but be nervous. When she got to their usual table, she expected to see the younger girl waiting for her, but surprisingly Dahyun wasn’t there. She was worried about how they left off, but Dahyun said she loved her… she meant it right?

 

                Mina didn’t want to think about that possibility, so she started studying for a chem test, but she couldn’t focus. Around noon Dahyun still hadn’t showed up and Mina was about to give up when a girl with blue hair and sunglasses plopped down next to her, “Is this seat taken?” she asked nonchalantly.

 

                “Um… not anymore, go ahead,” Mina said as she excused herself from the table.

 

                “Wait, Mina! Come back, it’s me!” Dahyun called pulling down the sunglasses and revealing her new look.

 

                “SHH!” The librarian scolded, and Dahyun stuck out her tongue in response once she was sure she wouldn’t see.

 

                Mina stared at her in awe, “Sorry I just—you dyed your hair?” she said reaching forward to it – as if it was an illusion and would suddenly turn back blonde when she touched it.

 

                “Yeah, do you—I mean—I felt like it,” She said crossing her arms coolly.

 

                Mina dropped the lock of hair she’d been playing with and smiled, “It looks… very cool,”

 

                Dahyun let out a sigh of relief that betrayed her unbothered demeanor, “Yeah, I know,” she managed to say without stuttering this time.

 

                Mina narrowed her eyes and studied Dahyun for a moment, “Are you… hungover? I didn’t know you drank?”

 

                “I am legal age Mina… I can drink, in fact yes, I am hungover. Sana and I made up and got absolutely wasted… at least I think we did,”

 

                Mina’s expression was pained, “I—I didn’t mean it like that. Of course, you can drink… but you and Sana? Since when are you friends?”

 

                “Since last night, she and Momo came over and I apologized for being a dickhead and she suggested we take sake bombs,” Dahyun explained defensively, “Is that ok with you?”

 

                “I—it’s fine, I just wish I had known—why are you being like this today? Did I do something wrong? I thought we were ok?”

 

                Dahyun sighed, “I’m sorry, is this too much? I was trying to be cool and rebellious, but I think I’m just coming as a ,” she explained worriedly.

 

                Mina shot Dahyun a confused look, “Yeah kinda… I’m your girlfriend, not your mom though. Why are you rebelling against me? We are on the same team… we could be rebelling together,”

 

                “I wanted you to think I was wild and edgy… but I’m certain I don’t know the first thing about that,” Dahyun whimpered.

 

                Mina reached out and Dahyun’s cheek, “But I like you just the way you are, Dahyunnie,” Mina said smiling.

 

                “Then why didn’t you say it back… why didn’t you say you love me too?” Dahyun asked quietly.

 

                Mina suddenly sat up and fished in her backpack for her phone, “Dahyun, I thought you already knew… I told you I loved you way before we were even dating, and I was waiting on you to confess,” she admitted, pulling up their text messages from last Tuesday night and showing her the proof.

 

                “Y—you meant that?” Dahyun asked as the memories from that night came to her mind.

 

                “Of course! I said yes to being your girlfriend, didn’t I? Wait, are you actually hungover, or did you just make that up?”

 

                “No, I’m genuinely hungover for the first time in my life,” Dahyun complained, sliding her arms out forward on the table and pressing her forehead to the cool library table, “I’m never trying to go shot for shot for shot with Sana again… girl’s a tank,”

 

                “You guys are cool now?” Mina asked hopefully.

 

                “Yeah, I think so,” Dahyun said proudly without moving her head.

 

                “Good, I’m proud of you,” Mina said kissing Dahyun on the back of the head.

 

                ~

 

                The doctors had cleared Tzuyu to go home today, and Nayeon had informed Sana saying she was excused from practice for the day. Her dad had been keeping her posted on the girl’s progress, and Sana was eternally grateful.

 

                When she arrived Tzuyu was standing in her room talking to Jeongyeon who was dressed in her work scrubs. She had sunglasses on and looked mildly annoyed at the older girl's concern, but when she saw Sana her smile lit up. She wound her free arm around Sana’s waist and pulled her up for a kiss.

 

                Sana backed away quickly, blushing, “Tzu! We’re in the hospital!” She chastised looking apologetically at the Jeongyeon who shook her head knowingly and made her way to the exit.

 

                “So? I missed you,” Tzuyu said cheesily.

 

                Sana rolled her eyes playfully, “Let’s get you out of here then, yeah?”

 

                “Can I kiss you in the car?”

 

                “Tzu… I can hardly drive without the added distraction, we’re lucky Rosé trusted me enough to borrow her car, I don’t know if she’d appreciate me wrecking because my girlfriend couldn’t wait fifteen minutes to get home first,”

 

                It was Tzuyu’s turn to blush now.

 

                “What?” Sana said, raising an eyebrow amusedly.

 

                “I just—you never said it before now. I like it,” Tzuyu answered, “It makes me want to kiss you even more,”

 

                “I think that’s the concussion talking,” Sana said walking quicker out to the garage. Tzuyu was acting strangely clingy today and whether it was the concussion or how she genuinely acted around someone who was officially her girlfriend Sana wasn't sure. She knew she loved it though.

 

                “It’s not!” Tzuyu protested using long strides to easily catch up and reaching to squeeze Sana’s .

 

                Sana yelped and started jogging towards the car with Tzuyu chasing behind, “Sana, wait, I’m not cleared to run yet,” Tzuyu whined as the older pulled further away.

 

                Sana climbed in the driver seat of the lifted jeep and without the protection of a door that normal cars had, Tzuyu was easily able to follow after, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Sana’s lips.

 

                “Tzuyu!” Sana squealed, having to work hard to pretend to be upset with her, when in reality she was loving the extra attention.

 

                “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist,” the tall girl said throwing her hands up in defense as she walked around to the passenger seat, “If I knew you were going to be like this I would have let you take my car… I would have allowed you to get kisses. It would be worth it,”

 

                “It won’t be worth it when you smack your head against the dashboard and reopen your stitches,” Sana grumbled, as she started the car and backed out of the parking spot cautiously.

 

                Tzuyu shrugged, “That’s a bit morbid… but realistically I’d probably hit the steering wheel if you think about it,” she said reaching a hand over to place on Sana’s thigh and squeeze lightly.

 

                Sana slammed on the breaks, causing them both to jerk forward slightly. Sana’s face was flushed bright red, and Tzuyu chuckled at how flustered she was getting, “TZUYU-YAH!” Sana scolded, “You’re going to be in trouble if you keep touching me like that,”

 

                “What if I want to be in trouble?” Tzuyu responded playfully as she wiggled her fingers on Sana's thigh teasingly, inching them up ever so slightly, “Will you punish me?”

 

                Sana gripped the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles turning white as she let out a controlled exhale, “I can’t do anything if we never make it home, Tzuyu, please,” She said through gritted teeth.

 

                Tzuyu smirked, before obediently removing her hands, “Not a fan of car , ok, noted,”

 

                Sana’s jaw dropped, “I—that’s not—I’m not—Tzuyu, this car literally doesn’t have a roof or any doors, I think car is—” she made eye contact with a harried looking nurse that was passing by and overheard them, “out of the question!” she hissed.

 

                “Yeah I definitely should have let you take my car then,” Tzuyu smirked devilishly.

 

                “No, because I don’t technically have my license, so all bets are off,” Sana growled, finally losing her patience and easing the car into drive again.

 

                “Wait, what? You're serious?” Tzuyu exclaimed in surprise, lurching to grab onto the oh bar.

 

                Sana smirked in triumph, “Yeah, hold on baby. This might be a bumpy ride,”

               

                ~

 

                “Practice started ten minutes ago, and all of the girls were already dripping sweat. Momo was having them crush routine after routine. They were taking tomorrow off to travel, so she knew today would be their last practice before they got to the competition.

 

                “Momo, can I talk to you for a sec?” Coach Kang, pulled her aside during their practice.

 

                “Sure Coach—everyone take a water break,” Momo commanded to the team.

 

                They walked outside the room and Seulgi accosted her, “What are you doing?”

 

                “What do you mean?” Momo panted.

 

                “You’re running them to the ground! At this rate, everyone is going to need ice baths, or they’ll all be too sore to move!”

 

                “I just want everything to be perfect,” Momo reasoned, “They’re still struggling a little bit with transitions, I thought they could use a little extra practice,”

 

[buzz buzz]

 

                “It is perfect!” Seulgi shouted, “I’ve been watching you for the past week, there’s nothing wrong with the transitions… and that’s coming from me!”

 

[buzz buzz]

 

                “I—have you seen the way Eunbi nearly tripped Chungha during the last turn in “thank you, next”? And when Jungeun stayed down a beat too long in—”

 

                “They’re tired!” Seulgi exclaimed, “It is not their fault!”

 

[buzz buzz]

 

                “Are you going to get that?” Seulgi asked impatiently, crossing her arms.

 

                Momo sighed heavily and angrily answered the phone without even checking the caller ID.

 

                “WHAT?”

 

                “I—I’m sorry, I’ll just—umm text you later,”

 

[Call Ended]

 

                Momo grunted and shoved the phone in back in her pocket before glaring back up at Seulgi.

 

                “Momo…” Seulgi warned.

 

                “Message received, ok? We’ll slow down,” Momo replied defensively.

 

                ~

 

                As soon as they got home Sana poured herself a glass of wine from Tzuyu’s fridge. She needed it after the ride Tzuyu had given her on the way home. Tzuyu quickly realized Sana wasn’t as bad a driver as she claimed to be – illegal or not. Sana’s hair had become dishevelled in the wind and Tzuyu kept trying to fix it claiming that if she didn’t Sana wouldn’t be able to see and then they’d definitely get in a wreck… Sana had to admit she made a point even though every touch sent shivers down Sana’s spine and sent them that much closer to wrecking.

 

                Tzuyu locked the door after her, and then was behind Sana in an instant, pressing kisses to the nape of her neck and shoulder.

 

                Sana giggled, before turning around and halting Tzuyu’s ministrations, “Maybe we should take it slow,” Sana said, gently moving Tzuyu’s hair away from her stitches, indicating that was her reason why.

 

                “I’m fine, Sana I swear!” Tzuyu groaned.

 

                “You were just wearing sunglasses… indoors,” Sana countered before taking a sip of the wine she had poured herself.

 

                “Hospital lighting is really bright, ok?”

 

                “Sure, and who was your doctor?” Sana asked.

 

                “Doctor… uhh Lee?”

 

                “It was Nayeon’s dad you idiot. See I told you, you need to take it easy,”

 

                “Is that not her last name?” Tzuyu asked hopefully.

 

                Sana shot her a pointed glare and Tzuyu groaned in frustration.

 

                “I could have told you the physician's scribe or whatever's name though,” Tzuyu grumbled unintelligibly flopping down on one of the island barstools.

 

                “What did you say?” Sana threatened stepping closer to come off more intimidating.

 

                “Nothing I just—” Tzuyu said cutting herself off by pressing another quick kiss on Sana’s lips.

 

                Sana rolled her eyes and was going to walk away, but Tzuyu hooked her fingers through the loops in Sana’s jeans and pulled her closer, “You’re not injured though…” She husked in her ear before sliding her hands under her shirt and beginning to roam them.

 

                Sana shivered at her cold touch.

 

                Tzuyu leaned forward and nosed Sana’s neck before starting to kiss over it again.

 

                “Ok, no, no, no, here’s how it’s not going to go,” Sana said shaking her head and backing away suddenly, “You, off the stool,”

 

                Tzuyu raised and eyebrow and smirked at her but didn’t move. She was feeling stubborn suddenly.

 

                Sana grabbed Tzuyu by the shirt and pulled her off her seat and down to kiss her. Before Tzuyu could even deepen the kiss Sana was letting go and pushing her away for a moment to guide her into her room where their lips reconnected again. Sana pushed Tzuyu down on the bed before taking off her own shirt and climbing up on top of her, straddling her.

 

                “What happened to taking it slow?” Tzuyu joked, at how rough Sana had pushed her.

 

                “Oh, I’ll make sure to be… very… slow,” Sana teased as she began to start pressing kisses painstakingly slowly down her neck and chest.

 

                ~

 

                Momo toweled off her hair, they had team mandated ice baths after practice. Mina had shot Momo dirty looks the whole time she slid into the ice bath in her spare tights and shirt. The rest of the team hadn’t questioned it, they were all too preoccupied with whining and complaining about getting into the freezing water.

 

                She must have been gritting her teeth outwardly or something because Chungha came up behind her and rubbed her back, “Mochine, we’re going to be fine. We know the routines like the back of our hands. Our soloists are perfect. We were nationally ranked last year, there’s no way we won’t place this year,”

 

                “We had Seulgi last year! And Bomi, and Miya, and Jieun, and SuA—”

 

                “—but this year we have Mina and Yeji and Chaeryeong, and Lua and Heejin. They’re all fantastic dancers, you know that! We picked them ourselves!”

 

                “I just—UGH” Momo exclaimed in frustration causing the rest of her lingering teammates to send her worried stares.

 

                This time Mina was at Momo’s side, gripping her wrists and looking into her eyes, “Hey, look at me, calm down. Everything is going to be ok… trust me. I of all people understand what you’re going through,”

 

                “You can’t say that to me,” Momo hissed, “I could lose the first dance competition, I could let down my family, Chaeyoung, Coach Kang, and my team, I could get hurt, OR I could end up dead in a concrete drum somewhere because I accidentally looked at you or your parents wrong,”

 

                Mina let out an impatient huff and let go of Momo, looking around cautiously to make sure no one else had heard, but the room had mostly emptied by now, “It’s really not like that Momo,”

 

                “Oh really? So your parents haven’t done things like that for much less? What do you think they’ll do if I beat you in solos?”

 

                “You don’t need to worry about my parents, they’ll love you. You’re my perfect Japanese friend. They’ll be more concerned about me… and Dahyun,”

 

                Perfect. The word tasted bitter in Momo's mouth now.

 

                “If anyone is perfect it’s you, Miss Straight A’s, never had to try hard for anything in your life!” Momo exclaimed.

 

                Mina was taken aback by that comment, in all honesty because of her status everything in life had been handed to her on a silver platter, but since she came to Korea, she was trying to overcome that. She knew that once her parents saw how she was living now, she would lose everything.

 

                “T—that’s not true,” Mina said, voice shaky.

 

                “Oh, I’m sorry, you got one B… in Korean… on purpose,” Momo sneered.

 

                “Momo, I don’t want to be like this I promise,” Mina pleaded.

 

                “Well save it until after the dance competition, ok? I need air,” Momo said before brushing past Mina and out the door. She wasn’t thinking straight, she was saying things she didn’t mean, and all she could see was red. She needed to get out of there.

 

                ~

 

[18:01] My Cub 💘: hey i’m sorry if earlier was a bad time…

             My Cub 💘: you’re probably stressed with dance stuff

             My Cub 💘: do you want me to bring you food?

[18:27] My Cub 💘: are you and Mina icing again?

             My Cub 💘: i got extra jokbal this time

[Unread by My Knight]

 

                ~

 

                “Sana—” Tzuyu breathed, when Sana had finally reached her abdomen.

 

                “Mhm?” Sana asked, not stopping what she was doing.

 

                “I—is this y—your first time?” Tzuyu asked, trying to control her voice as Sana was making it very hard.

 

                Sana finally stopped kissing Tzuyu and looked up, cocking her head in confusion. She furrowed her brow. Did she not seem experienced? Tzuyu had seemed to be enjoying herself so far…

 

                “I—it’s ok, you can tell me,” Tzuyu pleaded with her eyes.

 

                “No, it’s not,” she answered before resuming kissing Tzuyu’s skin as if it was no big deal.

 

                “Wait—it isn’t?” Tzuyu asked suddenly.

 

                Sana sat up “No, it isn’t,” she huffed impatiently, “Is that a problem?”

 

                “No—I just thought—”

 

                “You thought that because what everyone was saying about my incident wasn’t true that the opposite had to be? Why would it even matter? Are you that kind of field hockey player? Am I worthless to you now that you know my ity isn’t yours to take?” Sana huffed, climbing off of Tzuyu.

 

                “I—you never said—you’re not worthless to me, I just wanted to make sure your first time was special,” Tzuyu stumbled over her words. She just wanted to take care of Sana, but Sana didn’t seem to want to be taken care of.

 

                “It was, she was very good to me,” Sana snapped, before grabbing her shirt and storming towards the door.

 

                ~

 

[Instagram DMs]

Lee.sunmi: your Instagram picture was cute 😉

Shibasana96: ty, you’re not so bad yourself

Lee.sunmi: wyd?

Shibasana96: nothing much, studying for a test, you?

Lee.sunmi: just at my apartment thinking about messaging a cute girl

Shibasana96: all that thinking can’t be good for you 😏

Lee.sunmi: says the one who’s studying for a test

Shibasana96: you’re right, save me?

Lee.sunmi: wanna come over?

 

                Sana gulped. She was nervous, she’d never done this before… Well maybe she had, but it wasn’t like she could remember it. And Sunmi was hot… and a nice girl. She seemed genuinely interested in her. She would take care of her, right? She just had to play it up like she remembered everything. She couldn’t act like this was her first time.

 

                “Nayeon, how do you even have ? Like girl on girl? We didn’t learn about that in -ed…” Sana asked innocently, but Nayeon’s face went far away.

 

                “Don’t even get me started. The district’s mandated education system really failed us. It’s 2016 you can’t assume every one of us is Taehyun and Jisoo Heteroual couple that likes to only have missionary on Sunday night after our eight kids are asleep…” Nayeon started ranting, and Sana knew she would be no help.

 

                “Momo?” Sana asked, hoping the other girl would be more help.

 

                “What makes you think I know? I’m not the one who slept with the field hockey team over Christmas break,” Momo snorted teasingly, “Maybe try googling it? That’s what I usually do,”

 

                So, Sana googled, ‘how to have lesbian ’, and it sent her to a site she’d never heard of before. It had lots of informative looking videos. So yeah, she wasn’t studying for her Physics test anymore, but she was studying for something else.

 

Shibasana96: drop a pin and I’ll be over in 30

Lee.sunmi: [📌 location attached]

 

                ~

 

                As soon as Momo walked out the door, she ran straight into Chaeyoung, nearly knocking her over. Chaeyoung – with her hands full – reached out to Momo in support, but Momo recoiled.

 

                “Don’t touch me!” she spat.

 

                “Momo, wait,” Chaeyoung called, her voice hurt. She dropped the bags of food and followed behind Momo. Why was she acting like this suddenly? What did I do? She grabbed Momo’s shoulder and tried to turn her around, but when she did she saw fury in Momo’s eyes.

 

                “I SAID, don’t touch me!” Momo shouted and using both hands pushed Chaeyoung away from her.

 

                Mina – hearing the commotion – was there in an instant, catching Chaeyoung before she could fall, and looking at Momo with the same pained eyes.

 

                “Go. Get out of here, and don’t try to talk to Chaeyoung until you’ve apologized for what you’ve done,” Mina said, standing in between the two protectively, “She has no part in any of this. You need to calm down… or I will have to use force,”

 

                For a second, despair flickered in Momo’s eyes, but it was gone as soon as she her heel and stalked away.

 

                “Momo,” Chaeyoung croaked, reaching out a hand in desperation, but Mina held her back.

 

                “Let her go, she’s not herself right now,”

 

                ~

 

                “Wait! Please don’t run away again!” Tzuyu pleaded, following the older girl to the door like a puppy.

 

                Sana turned around, face to face with Tzuyu’s large hurt eyes. Eyes that were currently wondering how they’d managed to things up so quickly when they’d been about to have only moments ago.

 

                “Please don’t walk out that door. I promise you’re worth so much to me, and I’m sorry if I ever gave you a reason to think otherwise. You’re the only person I think of all day everyday. I think of all the ways I can make you smile or laugh—God when you giggle. It’s so much that I got stitches in my head because I was probably thinking of you. I just want to treat you right because I think you are so worthy of that. You are worth of everything and I would give it to you in a heartbeat if you’d allow me. I want every time we’re together to be special, not just the first time. I don’t care about the incident, everyone has baggage. Sana, I—I lo—”

 

                “You’re concussed, I’m not worth any of that. How could someone like me?” Sana mumbled so quietly, Tzuyu almost didn’t hear. She was looking down at her feet at this point, and Tzuyu could start to hear soft sniffles.

 

                “Yes—you are, I’m concussed, but not totally blind,” Tzuyu said with conviction, she caressed Sana’s cheek, brushing hair away from her face, and then tilting her chin up to look at her, but Sana wouldn’t meet her eyes, “Please, give me a chance to show you the kind of love you are worthy of receiving,”

 

                Sana’s puffy bloodshot eyes finally met Tzuyu’s and she found nothing but love and honesty in them. She nodded without saying another word, and Tzuyu pressed the gentlest kiss to her lips, so gentle it was as if she was afraid Sana could break if she pressed any harder.

 

                “W—will you cuddle with me, just this once?” Sana asked, she knew Tzuyu had told her she wasn’t a cuddler, but she needed it tonight.

 

                “Anything,” Tzuyu soothed, taking Sana’s hand and guiding her back to her bed where she wrapped her arms protectively around her, and spooned her to sleep.

 

                With Tzuyu’s arms holding her securely close to her warm body, Sana didn’t move an inch the entire night. Maybe Nayeon was onto something after all. But what Sana needed wasn’t just any warm body… it was Tzuyu’s warm body.