A/N Here, you guys can have a another chapter because I'm nice and also because this is more like a filler chapter. The next two chapters are already written, I'll post them tomorrow and I'm thinking after that maybe one or two chapters more to close this things up. 

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They couldn't give them a proper goodbye. That’s what they had said, YG didn’t want the news of Chaeyoung’s sickness to go out, and frankly the blonde girl didn’t want that either. The scandal of her collapsing on a live show was enough. 

It kinda , the fact that she wouldn’t be able to have one last show, at least to say goodbye, it that their blinks wouldn’t even know of what was wrong, they’ll stay with the idea that it would be along hiatus when really they weren’t coming back at all. And it big time. 

She was so close to crying and she was barely holding it together. After all this was another thing to add on her list, another thing to be angry at the universe at. Because, it was going to make her leave too soon, and then it wasn't even going to let her leave in the right way. She had unfinished business and loose ends. 

YG said they would probably give her a tribute after it was all said and done, but all Chaeyoung wishes is that she would’ve like to know the last performance they did would be their last. That the last fan meeting they did would be her last.

She was sitting by herself on a small cafe. She had an appointment soon with her doctor, and she was supposed to go under this treatment to slow the plants growth on her lung. It was supposed to give her more time. They said it was gonna hurt and that she could take someone with her, she just didn’t know who she wanted there. 

She actually did. But what’s another thing to lie to herself about.

She kept herself isolated, didn’t go out that much anymore, what was the point, it’s not like she could do much in her condition. But still she mostly did it so people wouldn’t look at her, pity her.  

She made sure to let the girls know she wanted to go to the meeting on her own, she needed to be around them for a while, as thankful as she was for them she needed a break from their caring gazes and they probably needed a break from her endless coughing. Hence the reason she was here.

“Drink this.”  A voice said. Frowning she looked up. Irene was there with a gentle smile and a cup of some sort of drink. The blonde looked up to her confused. “I’ve been through it.” The blonde once again looking at her with a look that was trying to figure out how did she know. “You have multiple napkins on your table after coughing non stop, plus a petal kinda got stock to your sweater.” She said shrugging.

Chaeyoung blushed a bit and quickly grabbed another napkin to take the petal off her sweater. She then nodded at the chair in front of her, and grabbed the cup off of the other girls hands. She was right about one thing the drink was pretty soothing on .

“Thank you,” She said, her voice hoarse and raspy after weeks of coughing.

Irene smiled at her, “I remember how it feels like.” she said. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Um… how long ago?"

"Like a year or so." She said looking at the street through the window.

Chaeyoung notices, the girl doesn’t elaborate and she doesn’t ask for more either and she’s grateful for that. She didn’t know how much she needed someone to not ask how she was or what happened. Weirdly enough this made her want to talk about it more.  "Joy?”

Irene nodded.  "Joy." She said simply. “Can I… like… you want to hear about it?”

Chaeyoung thought for a moment and then nodded.  

“I didn’t want to tell anyone. I thought I was going to die with the secret.” She said and took a sip of her own drink. “I got close. Doctors told me I had maybe a couple of weeks left.” She somehow seriously. “And one day I just snapped and told her the truth. I feel like at that point I was just tired you know? I was so sure of what was going to happen, she was with someone else, how could I compete with that right?”

At this Chaeyoung shifted uncomfortably on her seat. The story sounds oddly familiar. The disease seemed pretty consistent. Once again… how unoriginal.

“I thought there was no way she was loving me back, but since I was gonna die anyway, might as well come clean right? No loose ends and all.” Irene then looked at her pointly.  “Do you understand, Chae?”

The blonde her looked away. “I don’t know what you want me say.” She answered. Irene was lucky. Jisoo was lucky. But that young trainee wasn’t, she became another statistic. Just like Chaeyoung would. “I can’t tell her.” She continued.“She doesn’t love me back and me telling her would only cause her to blame herself. And she doesn’t deserve that.”

“You know, doctors told me this illness only affects those who think they don’t deserve to have their love returned.” Irene said softly her eyes full of understanding. “I know you are tired of having this conversation and of people trying to convince you to tell her.” 

Chaeyoung nodded and took a sip of her drink.

“So...let me just tell you this and then I’ll shut up. I figured this might sound better from someone who was just like you, that believed the exact same thing that you did. Who ever this person is, she will find out after you are gone.” She said pointedly. “And if she does love you back, she will know that she could’ve saved you. And that’s something that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. Now tell me can you leave this world knowing what you will do to her?”

Chaeyoung’s eyes brimmed with tears suddenly. She had to set the cup down because her hands started shaking. 

"I'm sorry. I know it sounds harsh, but I wished somebody would’ve told me that back then, would’ve made things quicker."

“It’s uh… it’s fine. I… uh… I get it. I'm... I'm really glad that it worked out for you.”

"Me too." She reached out across the table then, to lay her hand on top of Chaeyoung’s own  "I really hope I will say the same to you soon."

“Thank you," She responded it was simple. But it held so much meaning. 

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You know what? Doctors are s. They told how a procedure works and then they tell you what you can expect… but they never tell you how much discomfort and how painful the treatment would actually be. Because quite honestly the treatment they were putting her through was excruciating.

I mean think about it, Chaeyoung was breathing what pretty much was human safe weed killer,  humans are not meant to inhale weed killer. It was awful, her chest was more than sore, a constant feeling of being stabbed was starting to be felt. And if she thought breathing before was hard, oh boy was she wrong. Breathing right now, felt like breathing fire. Worst part it she wasn’t done yet. Oh no, she needed one more session and they couldn’t give her anything for the pain until she was done.

Goddamn her resolve and Goddamn her desire to keep fighting even when she knew it was useless. 

"Just a little longer, Rosie." said Jennie from her seat at the side of the bed, she was holding her hand and with the other she was brushing back her hair from her sweaty forehead. 

“It hurts, Jen.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But you’re doing great, babe. I promise.”

“I want to go home.” She said, while a tear fell from her eyes.

“I know, beautiful." The brunette responded, while softly wiping the tears from Chaeyoung’s face. "We are almost done.”

“Promise?”

“With my pinky.”

“Can we get Pho for dinner?”

Jennie chuckled. “Yes, Rosie. We can get pho for dinner, maybe even some ice cream for dessert.”

“Promise?” And the brunette noticed the blonde’s age was really showing, she looked so innocent, childlike, and was looking at her like she held the answers to the world. So Jennie made a promise to herself she will be strong for her best friend, she will stay by her side and she will make damn sure Rosie never needs anything.

“I promise.”

Chaeyoung nodded weakly, believing her, If Jennie promised, then it had to be true.

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“Do not make that face Chaeyoung, I’m not leaving.” Said Jennie, gently fixing the blonde’s pillow on the hospital bed.

“Lisa and Jisoo are coming back soon, so I won’t be alone for long. Jen, you had this trip planned for weeks, you have to go.” 

“He’s going. I’m not.” 

“But it’s with his family, so it’s important right?”

At this Jennie’s jaw tightened in frustration but then released as she exhaled, she then sat besides the blonde and looked at her, straight in the eyes…

“Nothing and I mean nothing is more important than your health, Rosé. Where you go I follow remember? And right now you are not going anywhere, so neither am I. I’m staying with you. End of discussion.” 

Ever since the secret got out, the girl had been with Chaeyoung every step of the way. If she was in the bathroom, she was there, with water and a cool towel. If she woke up in the middle of the night, she was there. She pretty much forced Rosé to let her come with her for the treatments and the brunette stayed by her side every single second. And now she was giving up a vacation to take of her. Call her selfish, but that actually made her happy. Jennie choosing her over him made her happy. She figures maybe she deserves to be a little selfish right now. 

It had been, about nine hours since she got here and 3 hours after the second session, which meant Chaeyoung was finally given pain killers. So she had slept for pretty much those three hours, but she could feel the burning sensation on her chest again so that means they are wearing off, hence the reason she’s up again.

"Hey." Said Jennie as soon as she saw her face contorted in pain. "You’ve been sleeping for the past couple of hours. Are you hurting?"

"Little." She said sleepy.

"Okay, it was time to wake you up anyway, nurse says in about an hour they should be giving you another dosage..."

“Okay…”

“Rosie, no. Come one open those pretty eyes, Chae. We need to wake you up every two hours remember?”

Chaeyoung hummed still struggling to keep her eyes opened.

“Come on, Rosie. One last stretch then I’ll buy you some pho okay?” 

“Promise?”

“Always.”

So she stayed awake with the help of Jennie, who was telling her silly stories, or just things she saw or experienced when she was abroad. Topics changed, but the one thing that remain a constant was Jennie’s hold on her hand. Holding it gently but firmly, like she didn’t want to let go. 

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Turns out pain medication was very, very strong. At least when given twice in one day. Chaeyoung was downright loopy, like one of those people in the videos talking nonsense after their trip to the dentist. She lacked coordination and Jennie found it adorable.

"I won't hurt you, Mr. squirrel. Do you want my cookie?.” Said Chaeyoung, while Jennie was guiding Chaeyoung back to the car, the blonde her made her stop at the sight of a squirrel standing calmly near a tree.

Right now Jennie was watching how Chaeyoung was crouched down with a half eaten cookie on her hand. 

"I’mma call you Larry."

Jennie chuckled and seriously considered filming this for future fun times, but the blonde made her promise she would not be filming her throughout this time, but maybe a picture couldn’t hurt. She was lucky that the moment she pressed click on the camera the squirrel actually got closer to get the cookie and then squirred away.

"Jennie! Jennie!  I did it! Did you see?! I fed Larry!"

“I did see that, Chae. Look at you Lord of the squirrels.” She said laughing.

Jennie looked over at the girl who was beaming, flashing her a big smile, her eyes scrunched up in excitement. Several seconds passed before Jennie snapped out of her trance with the girl to get going. “Alright, Rosie. Time to go, come on.”

“Noooooo, I wanna stay here Jen Jen.” 

“Why?” Jennie laughed

“Because Larry lives here!” She said pointing at the squirrel which only made Jennie laugh harder, would Chaeyoung be really mad if she broke her promise and recorded this? Jennie thinks maybe it’d be worth it.

“It’s just a squirrel, Rosie.”

“Shhh, he will hear you!”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll be quiet. Now get in the car.” 

“I don’t wanna” she whined

“Roseanne Park, if you don’t get in the car right now, there will be no Pho or ice cream for you.” 

“No Pho?” The younger girl’s bottom lip began to quiver, and she could see tears welling up in her eyes. “But you promised.” She said beginning to cry.

“No no no no, sweetie please don’t cry!” Jennie quickly used her thumbs to gently wipe away some of her tears. “ Listen, if you get in the car right now, I’ll buy you any quantity of Pho you want okay?” 

“Okay!” Chaeyoung’s tears where long forgotten and she continued to walk to the car and climbed into the passenger seat with the help of the older girl.

"Chaeyoung...stop, can you please just let me buckle you in."

"I can buckle a seatbelt," Chaeyoung mumbled "'m capable."

“Not right now, you are not so, let me just..."

"I got it."

Jennie sighed and she drew back and crossed her arms, after a gesture of 'go ahead,' and she watched as Chaeyoung continued to struggle with slotting the buckle into the right place.  The younger girl’s tongue poked out at the corner of . her eyebrows creased in concentration. She squinted and tilted her head, but eventually she realized she wasn't getting the job done. So, she huffed and let the belt go back into its automatic position. she looked up to the older girl.

"Fine."

Jennie shook her head as she reached out and easily pulled the belt back across the blonde’s chest, and leaned in more to secure the buckle, Chaeyoung just watched her. 

"You're beautiful." She blurted out.

"Thanks, Rosie." She said chuckling. "You are too."

Chaeyoung gave her a small, close mouthed smile. 

"Welcome."

Jennie chuckled "Alright, pretty girl, let's go home."

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As soon they get to the dorm Chaeyoung’s bed was practically calling to her. it was familiar and comfortable.

"Okay, Chae I know you are more than capable to do things on your own but there are new rules until you're not loopy on prescription drugs, okay?"

Chaeyoung only scrunched up her face in response. 

"One" Jennie said pointedly. "Not getting out of bed without help, your balance is not the best right now."

"What if i have to use the bathroom?"

"You let me know."

"What if i get hungry?"

"Just let me know, Rosie. I'll bring you food."

"So you say. For all I know you're gonna let me starve."

"And why would I do that?"

Chaeyoung paused as they finally reach her bed and Jennie sits her down gently, helping her to remove her shoes.

"I dunno."

"Okay, weirdo. Number two: If you are in pain, you have to let me know." 

Chaeyoung nodded "mkay."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

Jennie's resulting smile was soft, and Chaeyoung´s insides were too. 

The medicine was making her more susceptible to her feelings, so all she could feel right now was the warmth that Jennie brought, and it was nice. It was the calmest she'd felt in months.  

"Alright, hubby. I'll be in the living room just call out if you need something."

“‘kay”

She doesn’t remember when she went to sleep, but she remembers what made her wake up. She was walking down a hallway, and the flowers were posted every few feet, they were growing and they were getting closer eager to swallow Chaeyoung. She started to run, but it was hard. 

“It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.” She chants, closing her eyes.

Then all of a sudden she saw that she was in a church, flowers everywhere she looks to her right and Jennie is there. The blonde’s eyes looked to the person on her right, to take in the flowing white of the dress on Jennie's body. He was waiting at the end of the aisle. 

"I'll miss you," Jennie whispered.

“What? No, Jennie...” She tries to reach up and grab ahold of Jennie’s fingers, to keep her there, keep her close, but they slipped away, out of her grasp as they girl walked towards him and away from her.

"No, please...I love you!" She pleads.

But she doesn’t hear her, she keeps walking not looking back and Chaeyoung stays in place while flowers start taking over her whole body.