A/N: We are now back to our regularly scheduled programming of happy Chaennie nonsense. No more angst in the foreseeable future. Unless life pulls out a rug from under us. But that would never happen. Again. Right??? Who else is so ready for 2020 to be over?

“How are you and Jennie unnie doing?” Rosé asked her best friend.

“Oh, we’re great!” the Blackpink maknae replied with a voice loud enough to stop or start a prison riot. “Like, last night, I had a conversation for her.”

“You mean with her?” the blonde asked confusedly.

“No, I mean for her. Like, I anticipated what she would say, and I had a conversation on her behalf, with myself, while she was on her phone, ignoring me.”

“Um...” Rosé felt guilty. She was, in fact, the person Jennie had been texting ‘til the wee hours. The Australian didn’t normally respond to text messages, but Jennie had been sending her the funniest Chaengramji memes, and the blonde never could resist a good meme. Especially ones that involved furry, chubby-cheeked rodents in reference to herself. She didn’t know that she was contributing to a rift between Jennie and Lisa.

“Yeah, we were in bed, and she was on her phone, and I said ‘Good night’, but she didn’t hear me, so I just answered what she would normally reply, which is ‘Whatever’, and then I was hurt so I answered back ‘You can be so cold sometimes’, which she actually heard, and she said ‘I didn’t even say anything. You didn't even give me a chance to surprise you’, so I apologized and said ‘Good night’ again, and she said ‘Whatever’.”

“Um... yeah, sorry I asked.”

“No, it’s great. We know each other really well, and we’re comfortable being ourselves. We don’t have to fake politeness or s.”

“Wait... you don’t with unnie?” Rosé asked, blushing at the thought of Jennie’s ual prowess.

“We don’t have . She says is for poor people who can’t afford any other form of entertainment,” Lisa explained.

“Um... right. Why are you guys dating again?”

“She says we look very y together, and it’s hard to argue with that. Like, no offence, you and Jisoo unnie are beautiful and obviously super adorable, but Jennie and I really ooze appeal. Y’know, we’re raw and primal and animalistic.”

Rosé nodded awkwardly as she chewed on some almonds, her cheeks puffing like a chipmunk’s.

*

“How is dating Rosieposie going?” Blackpink’s main rapper demanded in an attempt to make small talk, or perhaps to do reconnaissance work.

“Well... I’m not sure. What is dating supposed to be like?” Jisoo answered offhandedly, which annoyed Jennie, because how could anyone be offhand about Rosé, who was a freaking angel.

“I dunno. You’re supposed to have fun together?” the cat-eyed girl answered, trying not to hiss.

“Like friends?” Jisoo asked stupidly.

“Friends that ,” Jennie shot impatiently.

“Like buddies?” Jisoo insisted irritatingly.

“ buddies that feel things,” Jennie retorted, one wisecrack away from murdering her beloved best friend.

“Hmmn... what if we don’t do any of those things?” Jisoo asked thoughtfully.

“You don’t feel things?” the mystified rapper replied. What monster wouldn’t feel things for Park Chaeyoung?

“I’m pretty sure I don’t, and I’d be utterly floored if she did.”

“You don’t ?” What idiot wouldn’t Park Chaeyoung?

“C’mon, it’s Chaeng. She’s like my kid sister.”

“Why would you date her in the first place if you think of her as a sister? What kind of sicko family do you have?”

“Hey, watch your mouth about my family! I don’t know why Chaeng and I started dating. It just felt like the logical next step to our friendship. Chaeng is totally girlfriend material, and you know me, I can’t pass up a good opportunity. I figured this would be a smart investment.”

“Romantic.”

“Says the person who’s spending her anniversary with me instead of her girlfriend.”

“An anniversary is a whole year. Two months isn’t anything to write home about.”

*

“Thanks again for helping me cook,” Rosé told the cat-eyed member of Blackpink.

“Aww, anything for my Rosieposie,” Jennie said. “I’m just flattered that you’re aware that I’m the only one in the group who wouldn’t burn a steak.”

“Unnie, you’re the only one of us who wouldn’t burn down the kitchen.”

The normally grumpy brunette laughed, and pinched her adorable friend’s cheek. “So cute,” she muttered. She was feeling chipper because she was getting to spend time with Rosé, who was one of her most favourite people. Jennie loved Jisoo and Lisa too, they were, after all, her best friend and girlfriend respectively. But they both possessed the incredible talent of getting on Jennie's nerves with their shenanigans, especially when they were together.

“But yeah, I owe you one. I wouldn’t normally attempt to make anything fancy, but this food isn’t actually for me. Or at least, not just for me. I just want to do something for Jisoo,” the Aussie explained, a blush dusting her cheeks.

Jennie’s face darkened. “Jisoo? Jisoo who eats like a trash compactor or a raccoon preparing for hibernation? That Jisoo? The one with no culinary standards? Why don’t you just buy her fried chicken and chocolate milk?” Jennie sneered. Why was Kim Jisoo getting a romantic, homecooked dinner when she’d be much happier sticking M&M’s on a pizza, in burgers, and up her nose?

Rosé frowned a little. “I know Chichu loves her junkfood, but I also know she’d love it if I made something special for her. I mean, except for that time I made salmon steak for her, and she shrieked ‘How can you call yourself Joohwangie’s eomma???’ and then, she tried to distract me with a cucumber so she could feed the salmon to Louis.”

“And… did the distraction work?”

Rosé reddened. “I mean, it was fresh and crunchy and delicious… who could resist that?”

Jennie smiled and shook her head in amusement. She felt bad for the well-meaning blonde. She knew Jisoo pretty well, and knew that the oldest member was ridiculously pragmatic. On the one hand, she was extremely low-maintenance. She knew what she liked, she had simple needs, and it didn’t take much to make her happy. On the other hand, she was pretty set in her ways, and didn’t have an adventurous bone in her body. She had no patience for misguided romantic gestures, and while she might acknowledge the effort that went into this meal that Rosé would have slaved over, she’d be completely unimpressed by it, and just wouldn’t enjoy something that so clearly missed the mark in terms of her interests. “Rosie, are you sure you shouldn’t just get pizza and play video games with Chu? I feel like that’s more her speed,” Jennie suggested, not wanting her friend to waste her energy.

Rosé frowned once more. “But that’s all we ever do. And it’s fun, but it makes me feel like I’m just a kid sister to her.”

“Riiiiight...” Jennie wasn’t really sure what to say. She knew Rosé and Jisoo were about as compatible as oil and water (they wouldn’t immediately mix, but they could make for a nice vinaigrette), but she didn’t feel like it was her place to point out their differences. She loved her best friend, and she loved the sweet younger member, and would never want to see either of them hurt. “Well, I guess, let’s get started.”

“Okay!” Rosé said brightly, happily skipping her way behind Jennie to tie an apron around her waist, then back hugged her, making the brunette’s heart hammer wildly in her chest. “Thank you again for this, Jennie. Mmm, you’re so warm and snuggly. I wish Jisoo was more like you.”

“What do you mean? She’s not snuggly?” Jennie asked embarrassedly, in an attempt to deflect from the fact that she was melting into a puddle of little, red cartoon hearts in the taller girl’s embrace.

“Well, y’know her, she’s very utilitarian. ‘Why are you hugging me, Chaeng? What biological purpose does this hug serve? Go bother Jendeuk with this clinginess, you guys were made for each other,’” Rosé said in her best impression of her girlfriend.

Jennie laughed, but felt sad for the blonde who wasn’t as clueless as she looked after all. She wished she could twist Jisoo’s arm to be a little more affectionate to this cutiepie of a human being.

“Like, I know Jisoo cares about me. She listens to my problems, she supports and encourages me to follow my dreams, she defends me and protects me, but... I don’t know, I still feel like something is missing...”

*

“So, which did you think looked best?” Jennie asked Rosé. A week had passed since their cooking caper, and the rapper had now asked the younger to help her pick out lingerie that she was planning to surprise Lisa with. The intense brunette had locked the Aussie in her bedroom with her, and forced the blonde to watch as she modelled an endless Victoria’s Secret parade of the skimpiest corsets, camisoles and teddies in every conceivable colour, style and material. “What is Lisa even into? Leopard print?”

Rosé looked squirmy and helpless. “Well, the black, silk one is very… Jennie Kim. It matches your savage confidence, and your femme fatale charisma. It makes youlook powerful and imperiously alluring. The pink with the... fur trim, on the other hand, makes you look deceptively harmless... which also works because it emphasizes just how...” Rosé paused to gulp nervously. “Innocently beguiling you can be,” she finished.

Jennie smirked. “So pink it is?”

“But that red,” Rosé said in breathless awe of the brunette’s current ensemble. Her eyes had glazed over like she was in a trance. “Ohgod, that red lace... it matches your intensity, your fiery passion, your seductiveness. It hugs your body in all the right places. It accentuates your best um... features. It’s just completely, utterly, effortlessly... y.” Rosé looked defeated and exhausted after she admitted all this. Jennie looked extremely pleased like a predator that had just killed something.

“Help me with my garter straps, please,” Jennie purred.

Rosé blushed furiously, and with her eyes cast down, inched her way to the brunette. She couldn’t look Jennie in the eye with her burning cheeks, so instead, the Australian was forced, against her wholesome, guileless sensibilities, to lasciviously rake her gaze all over the rapper’s thighs and creamy skin, as she fastened straps to stockings, inadvertently grazing Jennie’s thigh with her fingertips, making them both shiver at the contact.

“So, you’re finally sleeping with Lisa, huh?” Rosé managed to croak in a small, broken voice.

“Yeah, tonight,” Jennie answered almost guiltily. “I mean, y’know, shes my girlfriend, and... we’d been dating for a while. She’s a... she’s a sweet kid. She’s been very patient with me.”

“She is very sweet...”

“But hey, how did your romantic date with Jisoo go?” Jennie asked, perhaps a little bitterly, in an attempt to change the subject.

“Oh... it went well,” Rosé lied. They had, in fact, broken up, having realized that they were much happier as friends, but Rosé didn’t want Jennie to feel bad for