For G, whom I haven’t heard from in years.


1
“Spam... spam... spam...” Rosé muttered, idly clicking through her email inbox.

“I don’t know why you bother checking that so obsessively,” Lisa observed. “You haven’t heard from her in... what, two years?”

“I just want to know if I can get a good deal on some enlargement pills, or hook up with y singles in my area,” Rosé said dryly.

“You kid but you really haven’t hooked up with anyone since-“

“Can we not?” Rosé cut off her friend. “Why are my hook up habits up for discussion anyway? I don’t believe hooking up is a requirement for a meaningful, well-adjusted life. I also don’t believe I solicited any advice from you.”

“Oh sure, make me out to be the bad guy, Chaeyoung,” Lisa said, rolling her eyes. “When all I want is for you to get back to being a happy, wholesome human being with healthy social relationships.”

“I have healthy social relationships,” Rosé objected.

“You have one friend, and that’s me.”

“I had drinks with people from work last month,” Rosé insisted.

“Okay, first of all, water is not a drink-“

“How is water not a drink? Water is THE drink! It’s the universal solvent!”

“Chloroform is a solvent too. I don’t see you drinking that.”

“Do you have a point?” Rosé asked petulantly. She didn’t enjoy losing arguments, especially when she knew the other person was right.

“Chaeng, c’mon, you can’t just bury yourself in a job that you hate, and live a semi-reclusive life. You should be dating supermodels, and discovering lost civilizations, or digging up buried treasure, or whatever it is that you people do”

“Community college sessionals date supermodels?”

“Gorgeous ones do, I’m sure.”

“Also, teaching isn’t a job.”

“No, it’s not,” Lisa agreed. “If it’s what you want to do, which you don’t. Also, I like how you’re not arguing with the gorgeous part.”

Rosé shrugged, and flipped back her hair. “How would I even argue with that?”

“I’m going to ignore your blatant narcissism, because I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy.” Rosé said, before she burst out into the most depressing fit of laughter Lisa had ever heard. It sounded like a death rattle.

“Jesus Christ, you couldn’t even say that with a straight face.”

“You’re right. Life is ,” Rosé conceded. “But I don’t see how spending time with inferior people would change that.”

“God, you’re such a snob! No wonder you’re alone.”

“I’m not a snob. I’m just not compatible with a lot of people.”

“I know, I know, I know. There was only one person you could stomach, and she was kidnapped by aliens.”

“No, she dumped me without provocation or justification, then took off, and I haven’t heard from her since.”

“And yet here you are pining for her still.”

“I just need closure, Lis. Or at least more time to grieve. You don’t just disappear on someone after being together for five years. That’s not a thing.”

“Well, it’s clearly a thing, because she did it. Look, I wasn’t gonna mention this, because I didn’t want to upset you, but...” Lisa paused to sigh. “This came in the mail.” She handed Rosé a crisp, white envelope, stamped with the city's astronomical society logo. “It was addressed to both of you.”

Rosé wordlessly ripped open the letter, studied its contents, and then promptly discarded it into the recycling bin.

“Okay... well, that was way less of a reaction than I was expecting.”

“I got an email, too. It’s an invitation to the opening of the new observatory. We signed up for that a lifetime ago. She won’t be there.” Rosé said quickly.

“How can you be sure? I mean, maybe you’ll finally get the closure you’ve been looking for.”

“It’s just simple mathematics. She would never risk being seen someplace I might be. She’s not gonna be there.”

“But y’never know still. Maybe you’re missing some variables to that equation.”

“Nope, probability-wise, it’s highly unlikely,” Rosé said stubbornly.

“You just have the answer to everything, don’t you?” Lisa said, shaking her head in defeat.

Rosé shrugged. “Can’t argue with numbers.”


2
(Flashback)

“Excuse me, are you a doctor?” Rosé heard a voice say, interrupting her frantic search for her phone.

“Well, not quite yet, but I will be soon...”  Rosé replied absentmindedly.

“Oh, good. Do you mind taking a look at this? I feel like I have a frog in my throat,” the other person interjected.

“Oh, I’m not that kind of doctor,” Rosé said, still rummaging through her bag.

“What kind of doctor? A vet? ‘Cause I have a dog who’s feeling under the weather.”

“No, I’m not a-“

“A dentist?”

“No, I mean I’m a doctoral candidate. I‘m an archaeologist. Or I will be soon. Hopefully,” Rosé answered almost impatiently, wanting the small talk to end.

“Ohhhh, so you’re not really a doctor, you’re just a nerd.”

Rosé was about to be offended until she looked up, and saw the slyest grin with a pair of gorgeous eyes, twinkling with mischief.

“Sorry, I compulsively turn into a around beautiful women,” the stranger said.

“Better stay away from mirrors then,” Rosé quipped.

“Whoaa hohoho, lookout folks, we’ve got a sweet talker here! What’s an archaeologist doing in an observatory anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be digging? Heigh ho, heigh ho?” the gorgeous stranger sang as she mimed digging with a shovel.

“Okay, that’s mining not archaeology, and what, can’t a person have interests outside their field of study? Anyway, haven’t you ever heard of River Song?” Rosé said with a wink.

“I’m sure in some nerd universe, that’s a dope thing to namedrop, but unless you’re Lara Croft or Indiana Jones, you’re not a cool archaeologist.”

“Excuse me, River Song is like Lara and Indy rolled into one and more.”

“I doubt it, but anyway, in your almost professional opinion, Dr. Nerd, do aliens exist? See, that’s why I’m visiting this fine establishment. I’m here to look for evidence of extraterrestrial life.”

“Hmmn... well, I don’t know. I feel like UFO sightings are just a symptom of Cold War paranoia, and alien abduction claims are so lunatic fringe. It’s certainly probable that life exists elsewhere in the universe, but it’s highly unlikely that there is legitimate evidence for it on Earth, or at least evidence that humans would be able to recognize.”

“Wow, you’re a bummer. Super cute, but a bummer.”

Rosé furrowed her brows. “I’m sorry, what answer were you expecting? ‘Oh yeah, totally, aliens walk among us. In fact, I am one’?”

“See, I knew you were an alien or something shady like that. I’m Jennie Kim, nice to meet you, Dr. Alien,” the tiny brunette extended her hand in congeniality.

Rosé’s first instinct was to argue with this insufferable human, who was twisting her words, but something about the brunette’s roguish charm completely disarmed her.

“Roseanne Park,” she answered, shaking Jennie’s hand.


3
“Is she gone?” Jennie asked, peering out of her bedroom door.

“You’re an ,” Jisoo replied.

Jennie assumed an affirmative answer to her question, sighed, and emerged from her room.

“What were you saying, Heather?” Jisoo said, making Jennie fly ten feet into the air like a skittish cat confronted by a cucumber.

“!” Jennie exclaimed upon realizing she had been duped by her roommate, and ascertaining that it was, in fact, just the two of them.

“Jesus, man, that girl was like the fifth one this week, and it’s only Thursday!”

Jennie grinned like a Cheshire Cat. “Some of them want to bring a friend,” she said cheekily. “And who am I to stand in the way of friendship?”

“One of these days, one of your conquests will just murder the both of us in our sleep. Would it kill you to get a little decency?”

Jennie paused thoughtfully, pretending to consider, and her chin. “Y’know, it might.”

Jisoo threw a dishcloth at her.

“Hey! Watch the face!” Jennie shrieked, swatting the towel away. “C’mon, Chu, let me live a little. I just want to have a little fun.”

Jisoo threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m all for fun, Jendeuk. Y'know me, I’m a staunch adherent of fun, but you are breaking hearts left and right, and there’s just no excuse for that.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll send a fruit basket and a sympathy card to every woman I’ve ever hurt.”

“All of them? That’s enough fruit to deplete a rainforest.”

“Are you trying to discourage my penance and rehabilitation?”

“I want you stop dicking people around,” Jisoo said seriously. “You got an email from the observatory, y’know? It’s an invitation to the opening. You know she’s gonna be there.”

“Wow! Why are you reading my emails? That’s not cool. I love you, but respect my boundaries-“

“Oh, don’t even whine about respecting boundaries, Jennie! I’ve had to listen to your very loud nocturnal activities for the past two years, and I’ve played clean-up crew to your rejectees, because you’re too much of a wuss to handle a potentially awkward conversation.”

“So... what, do you not love me anymore?” Jennie asked in a small, dejected voice.

“Are you just never going to speak to Chaeyoung? She deserves an explanation. Geez man, you were with her for five years! Do you not care about her at all?”

“What does it matter if I do or don’t? It’s not gonna change anything.”

“Talk to her, Jendeuk. You’re only hurting yourself.”


4
(Flashback)

“Guess what?” Jennie asked excitedly.

“Chicken ,” Rosé quipped.

“Close, but no,” the brunette said. She rolled her eyes, but was still smiling from ear to ear. “I bought you a star!”

“You... is that a euphemism for something?”

“No, I paid to name a star after us.”

“With NASA?” Rosé said doubtfully.

“Well... no, with the... International Star Registry.”

“Is that legit? Would that even be recognized by the scientific community?”

“I’m not really sure, but cmoooon, don’t be such a buzzkill about this, it’s fun! And I don’t think I can get my fifty bucks back. Anyway, I got an official looking certificate,” Jennie said, waving around a sheet of paper.

“Omg, is that typeface Comic Sans?” the blonde teased.

“Why are you never impressed with my efforts,” Jennie bemoaned in jest. Maybe partial jest. She was starting to feel slightly hurt.

“You just paid for a slip of paper full of made up promises.”

“Is that a crack about marriage?”

“Let’s see what you named it,” Rosé said, grabbing the certificate from the embarrassed brunette. “Channie4000?”

“Yeah, it’s our couple name. Y’know, like Brangelina?”

“Shouldn’t it be Chaennie?”

“I say it’s Channie, so it’s Channie.” Jennie was now bright red.

“You’re ridiculous,” Rosé said, biting her lip, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to break out of her.

“Whatever, you know what this means though, right?” Jennie grumbled.

“That you’r