Siwon doesn’t know what is taking the doctors so long. Is Yesung going to be okay? 

He can only wait in the long and empty hallway of the military hospital. The doctors are treating Yesung and Donghae, but they already moved Donghae in a room, but they still treating Yesung. Siwon is nervously trying to think about something else but it isn’t possible. At least Shindong distracted him when he came to know what information was Siwon hiding.

“We got new technologies from USA for the intercontinental ballistic missile and we would bomb South Korea and China in case of a war in Asia. We got the technologies and promised to help them with destroying you.”

Shindong is shocked and gulped because this is huge. He quickly needs to tell it to his boss and the president, but he is a bit worried that it is a lie.

“How can we trust you?”

Shindong is studying the spy with his cold eyes and Siwon smirks.

“I have Yesung, you fulfilled our deal so I kept my promise. Moreover, I helped with the transport to the secret research center.”

Shindong is silently staring at him and then nods few times before leaving. Siwon sighs and hopes that now they can start new and happier life. He is exhausted and wants to sleep but right after he closed his eyes a doctor came and told him to follow him. Words can’t describe how Siwon feels when the doctor tells him the long list of Yesung’s injuries and his hopes for a better life are quickly crushed. However the hardest part comes when the doctor starts to describe that Yesung’s rectum is full of fissures. Few of them are small, but most of them are deep and life-threatening. Siwon can imagine how did Yesung get them and feels even worse. It is hard to believe that Yesung is still alive when he suffers from all these injuries. The doctor leads him to a door of some room and told him that he can spend few minutes with his husband. Then he left and Siwon is standing there and doesn’t know what to do. Does Yesung want to see him? Siwon caused chaos and left him alone, Yesung suffered because of him. His family is dead and Siwon isn’t very sure if Yesung wants to see him.

He collects every bit of strength in his body and opened the door. The room is dimply lit and there aren’t many pieces of furniture. There is a couch and a TV is hanging on the wall above it and a bed is standing on the opposite side of the room. In the bed is lying Yesung, but it isn’t easy to recognize him due to all the wires and tubes connected to his tiny body. Yesung was always skinny, but right now he looks like the slightest touch could break him. Siwon stands there for a while until a nurse came and she checks if everything is okay. Yesung underwent a surgery and few more surgeries are waiting for him so they need to make sure he is getting at least a bit better. The nurse left and Siwon carefully leaned down and kissed his husband on the forehead. 

“I missed you so much.”

He isn’t sure if Yesung hears him, but he feels better after saying it. It still doesn’t stop him from bursting into tears.

“I am sorry, I am so sorry.”

Siwon cries and carefully takes his small hand. Yesung’s skin has a weird gray color, his fingers look like chopsticks - they are so cold and thin. Siwon cries for a few minutes and then calms down because no one can see him like this. He sat down on the couch and wipes his tears stained cheeks with the hem of his shirt. How can Yesung survive this?! He isn’t even breathing on his own! A breathing tube is wedged between his lips and leads down his throat and feeding tube is inserted next to it. Yesung is so malnourished that the smallest hospital gown is huge on his tiny frame. Siwon fell asleep, but after few hours a nurse came to check on Yesung and kicked him out. Siwon argues with her for a while, but she politely and angrily explained that almost anything could kill Yesung. There is a chance that Siwon could unknowingly transmit some germs to him. Siwon has no other option than to leave the hospital and goes home. Well, the almost empty flat isn’t a real home. A home is a place where Yesung is together with him. Siwon sat down on the empty bed and sighs. He can’t cry again, he can’t cry until he at least speak with Yesung. Maybe that Yesung will forgive him. Siwon knows that this is a false hope, but he isn’t going to let go of it or he will go crazy.