As if he heard us, his eyes locked with mine. I gave him a small wave, and he winked. "Absurdly, and completely."

"He has the means to take care of you?"

I inhaled deeply, the sight of him playing with Austin melting the rest of my anger away. "He says he wants to marry me."

"I know. He came to see me at the office two weeks ago, asking for my blessing for the two of you."

"He did? What did you say?"

"That I felt you are entirely too young, and in no way should he not interrupt your education. But you are an excellent judge of character, and if you feel he is good enough for you, that's enough for me. I have to get back to work." He pulled an envelope from his coat pocket. He placed it in my hand and gave me a brief squeeze on the shoulder. "I'll be in touch. Enjoy the rest of your day." He walked up the opposite path and was gone.

I wrapped my arms around myself, either from the breeze or the conversation, I couldn't be sure. Sehun appeared at my side, basket in one hand, Austin in the other. When we reached the truck he threw the basket and blanket into the back, handing me Austin to ride in my lap. I don't know if he thought I was still mad, or just needed space, but he didn't ask until we pulled off. "Everythin' okay?"

"They're getting a divorce." A sharp pain stabbed me in the temples, I reached up to rub them as they throbbed. I rolled my window down all the way, starting to feel extremely hot. Sehun whistled low. "Damn, I'm sorry. You okay, sweetheart?"

"I, uh..." I balled my fists to keep them from shaking. "I think..." I felt that constricting feeling in my chest, like a boa constrictor was wrapped around my lungs. Oh God. Not now.

"I mean, I know you and your mom don't get along, but...hey, what's wrong?"

"I need to get home. I need to take my Ativan." I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to breathe deeply. It's a panic attack. It's not a heart attack, or a . You're not going to die. Breathe. Breathe.

Sehun spoke quietly. "What do you need me to do?" I felt the engine rev as he drove faster.

You're not dying. Ride it out. Keep breathing. "Talk. Just talk about anything." My voice was shaky, drawing in gasps of air after each word.

"Okay. Do you know how to change a tire?" I shook my head. Listen to his voice. Focus on the external. Ride it out. "First, put the car jack under the frame near the tire that needs changin'. Make sure it's flat against the ground, then raise it until it's supporting the car, not liftin' it up all the way. Next comes off the hubcap, and loosen the nuts. Here's how you do that..." By the time he got to back to tightening the nuts again we were home. He got out without turning off the engine, running into the house. Half a minute later he reappeared with my pills and a glass of water, handing them to me through the open window. I swallowed them quickly and drained the glass, leaning my head back on the seat in relief. My chest was still tight, but the hyperventilating was beginning to subside and at least now I knew it would be over soon. "Thank you."

He opened the door and reached over to unbuckle my seatbelt, taking care not to touch me. "What else can I do?"

I closed my eyes again, concentrating on my heartbeat starting to slow while the Ativan took over. "Can you take Austin and put him in his crate? I'll be there in a minute." All the shaking from my anxiety attack and the car ride had him sound asleep in my lap.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm right behind you."

He picked up the sleeping pup and reluctantly walked into the house. I remained seated, running down my Soojung's Panic Attack Recovery checklist.

Breathing? Normal.

Heartbeat? Normal.

Mental state? Shaky. Growing tired. Humiliated, but no longer feel like I'm dying. Good to go.

I took the keys out of the ignition, stepped out of the truck and shut the door, leaning against it as I got a hold of my wobbly footing. I made my way up the porch, where Sehun was waiting for me. I walked right into his arms, gently securing me against him without making me feel trapped. "I need a nap."

"I guess I should have let you sleep in this mornin', huh?"

I wrapped my arms weakly around him, clutching to his shirt for support. "This isn't your fault. It happens. Thank you for taking care of me."

"Thanks for letting me. C'mon, let's go upstairs." He cupped the bottom of my in his hands and lifted me onto him, my arms around him tightly while my head set in the crook of his neck. He carried me up the steps to our room, setting me on my feet while he started taking off my clothes. Leaving only my on, he wrapped me in a blanket that smelled faintly of him and helped me in the middle of the bed. "Do you want me to stay?"

"That's okay. Go do Sehun stuff," I murmured, half asleep. "I'll see you some hours. I love your face." I heard a soft chuckle, a faint brush of a kiss on my forehead. "I love your face too. Sweet dreams."
 

***
 

I groggily peeled my eyelids apart. The bedroom was dark, and I could see nothing but the time the digital clock on the nightstand. 7:00. Ugh. Damnit. The five-hour nap I had taken felt way too short. That's what I hated about anxiety attacks, besides the physical attack itself; while the Ativan helped immensely, I tended to zonk out for hours, and ended up feeling like I wasted my day. I sat up immediately, cursing the dizziness from the head rush, and planted my feet on the floor to go find my boys.

I pulled my shirt on, not bothering with the rest. Stepping into the dark hallway, I noticed a sliver of light coming from the guest bedroom. I stepped quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was reading, until I heard his voice through the slightly ajar door.

"I don't know what to do, Dad. I think I'm makin' her worse." I stopped moving. Oh God.

"She's been doing a lot better, then today she had a panic attack after seein' her dad." My face heated with embarrassment. His parents are going to think I'm a lunatic. "No, I'm not blaming myself, but I think I'm pushin' her too hard. I pushed her to see him, I pushed her to move in with me...I think I'm stressin' her out. And she's already stressed out at school...uh huh. Sometimes I think I should give her more space, but I hate being away from her. Yeah, it's totally selfish...maybe we should wait on movin' in together. " A hard lump formed in my throat as I tried to stay silent.

"No. No, I am not breaking up with her...because it's not an option. If someone told you maybe you should divorce Mom, what would you tell them?" A pause, then a boisterous laugh. "Exactly. But she's amazin', you know? She's funny, and God, she's so smart. And she's the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. She pisses me off so bad one minute and I can't keep my hands off her the next...yeah, she is a lot like Mom...ugh, gross, Dad." A smile touched my lips, envious of how close they seemed. "I worry about her all the time...y