I didn't see much of Sehun over the next two weeks. He explained that early summer was a very busy time for the station -- barbeque fires, bonfires, campground fires -- so it wouldn't be unusual for him to be gone from sun; up to well past sundown. He never wanted to wake me when he came in late, so he slept in the guest room and was gone way before I woke up. A few nights I suggested he sleep at the station, so he wouldn't be on the road late at night. He would always text or call if he had a moment's break, making sure I wasn't too lonely, and that I was safe and sound. He always sounded exhausted, but he tried to hide it with flirting and banter.

I missed him terribly.

I tried to occupy my time by getting my grad school applications completed. I was reconsidering my original plan to move across country after graduation; an dream that was decided upon to get as far away from my parents as humanly possible. Stanford had been in my sights for the past few years, and once seemed so appealing, but now...

I didn't want to be one of those girls who altered their plans or put their entire life on hold because of some guy. I had goals. They may not have entirely my goals, but regardless, they had been set, and I wasn't comfortable just throwing them away. I worked hard, to a point where I was a sad recluse, and there was a part of me that wanted to see it through.

Still, spending another three years at Yale was sounding better and better.

***

On Day 17 sans Sehun I decided to check my phone to see if I had any voicemails. I had kept it off pretty much since my date with Sam. The only people who called me regularly were my parents, who loved to play a game called How Can We Make Soojung Feel Bad About Herself Today? So when I powered up my phone, I was surprised when I saw I had 27 missed calls and five voicemails.

"Soojung?!? Oh my God, where are you? Your mom called and said you were in an accident..."

"Seriously Soojung, can you call me so I know you're okay?"

"We're all worried, the hospital said you left with your boyfriend? What boyfriend? Soojung PLEASE call me."

"Okay, if you don't call me in the next 24 hours I'm filing a missing person's report..."

"You better be lying in a ditch somewhere, because if you're not dead I'm going to kill you."

I winced. All the calls were from the Delta president, Sydney. It never occurred to me to call my sorority sisters and tell them what happened. I was only a member because I was a legacy (a fact my mother never let me forget), and even then I never truly felt I belonged. Even though I had some administrative duties, Sydney and I weren't exactly close. Apparently we were close enough that she noticed I'd been gone for a month. I braced myself and called her number.

She picked up after the second ring. "Soojung Jung where in the HELL are you?!?"

I pulled the phone away from my ear. "Calm down, Sydney. I'm sorry I didn't call, but I'm fine."

"Fine? Fine?! Your mother calls me to see why you haven't been at your apartment, then I can't reach you for FOUR weeks, and you're fine. You won't be fine when I get my hands on you. I have called the hospital every other day to find out where you went and all they said is you left with your boyfriend. What boyfriend? Start explaining, fast."

I pondered how much to tell her about Sehun. "I'm in North Haven. Yes, I was in an accident, and I've been staying with...with one of the firefighters who saved me. It's fine. I'm fine. So stop yelling at me."

The line went mute for a second, and I secretly hoped we got disconnected. "You're staying with one of the guys who saved you."

"Yes."

Another brief silence, then she quickly rattled off an address. "Meet me here in an hour."

"Um...it might take me more than an hour."

"I don't care how long it takes you, just get there." She abruptly ended the call.

I mulled over going for a moment. She's not the boss of me. But...I probably should have called. Or at least kept my phone on. I do feel bad that she was worried. Damn guilt.

I texted Sehun. Hey, I'm going to borrow your car to go to New Haven to meet a friend. I'll call you in a bit.

I grabbed his car keys from the hook beside the door and reluctantly began my journey back home.

***

"Seriously, Sydney? I'm not even sleeping with him, I think birth control is a little premature."

I frowned at her, trying to look as serious as I could sitting on an exam table in a paper gown. The address she gave me was to one of the top gynecologists in the country, who happened to be about 10 minutes from Yale. But accolades and convenience aside, I was pissed she ambushed me.

She halted her texting and examined me from behind her gold Givenchy sunglasses. "Are you planning on sleeping with this firefighter?"

I felt my cheeks get hot and thanked God she couldn't tell. "Yes. I think so."

She pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose and continued typing on her phone. "Then you're going on the Pill. Then we're going to lunch, where I am getting a martini and laying into your for disappearing for a month, shacking up with someone you don't even know."

I yanked up the sleeves of the gown, trying not to add "Sydney saw me " to the list of embarrassing things today. "I told you I was sorry. I didn't think it would be a big deal, it's not like anyone is on campus anyway."

She snatched her sunglasses off and gave me the death stare. "Really, Soojung? You didn't think anyone would care that you could have died? If you weren't already injured I would kick you in the ." My eyes widened at the profanity, as she was usually very composed. "And I'm not going to have you getting knocked up your senior year. So be a good girl and let's get this done."

The door opened and the OB, Dr. Franklin, thankfully walked in. "Alright, Ms. Jung, you're here for birth control, yes?"

I narrowed my eyes at Sydney. "Why don't you ask my mother over there?" That earned me the middle finger and a silent "You Wish."

Dr. Franklin chuckled as she pulled her latex gloves on. "Alright then, let's start this exam."

***

"Start from the beginning. I want to know everything. And I mean, everything."

The ambiance at Union League Café was nothing short of impressive. It was elegant without being pretentious, its high ceilings and intricate woodwork spoke of its historical beginnings, while the food was innovative and modern. Sydney sipped her dirty martini, waiting for me to speak. I took a large breath and rushed out the story of the accident, how Sehun took care of me, how our relationship was evolving and him asking me to stay for the summer.

She examined her nails for a minute before responding. "Do you love him?"

My stomach flipped. "It's way too soon to start throwing that word around. I've only known him a few weeks."

She drummed her nails on the table. "That's not what I asked. Do you love him?"

I stared at my Nicoise salad, my appetite suddenly gone. "I don't know. I think I could."

She took my hand in hers, forcing me to look at her. Her face softened immediately. "Soojung, look. We've known each other for three years. I know we haven't been close, but...I know how you are. You're not an actively social person, and I've never even heard you mention a guy, let alone one that you actually like. You moved in with a complete stranger, you've started a relationship with him, are living with him for two months and planning on losing your ity to him. That's...that's a lot of trust. That kind of trust takes most couples years to build. Whether or not you're ready to admit it, that's pretty much love, hon." She paused before her next thought. "I'm not saying he's not a great guy, or that you two aren't good for each other. All I'm saying is to be careful. In the few short weeks since I last saw you...you've changed. For the better, but you're like a completely different person. Just...just be careful. I'd hate for you to get your heart broken, because trust me, it's really damned hard to bounce back from." She had a pensive look for half a second, before she closed the shutters on whatever it was she was thinking about. "And if you ever need to talk about guy stuff, or , or anything. You can talk to me, okay?"

Tears brimmed my eyelids as she released my hand. "Thanks, Syd."

She dabbed at the corner of with her napkin. "Because Lord knows you need a positive female influence in your life. I'm sorry, but your mom is a complete . She needs a Xanax and some good to remove that stick in her ."

I laughed so loudly some other diners turned in my direction, but I didn't care. We continued our lunch with a lighter tone, getting to know each other all over again.

***

It was almost eight when I pulled up to Sehun's house. I could see light in the windows, indicating he was home. I squealed happily, hopped out of the truck and ran up the porch. When I opened the door, the sight of Sehun pacing the floor is what greeted me. He looked up at me and exploded.

"Soojung, where the HELL have you been?! Do you know how worried I was! You send me a text saying you were leavin' and would call me and then you haven't answered your phone all day! I thought you were lyin' in a goddamn ditch somewhere!"

I hung the keys back on their hook and tossed my purse onto the couch. "Yeah, that seems to be a running theme today."

He ran both hands through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. I walked up to him, wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek onto his chest. "I was at school, having lunch with a friend. I forgot to call. I'm sorry I made you worry."

He drew me close to him and rested his chin on top of my head. "But you're okay?"

I tilted my head up and grinned. "I'm fantastic."

He bent down and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. "Woman, you're gonna give me a damn heart attack. Come lay down and tell me about your day." He led me upstairs to the bedroom, where we got snuggled up on the bed as I told him about lunch. Suddenly I bolted upright to look at him.

"Oh, and the best part! I went to the doctor and got birth control. I figured we'd use condoms anyway but it can't hurt, right?"

He drew his eyebrows together and stared at me. "Okay. That's not the reaction I expected. I thought you'd be happy, excited even."

He continued to stare. "Uh...I am happy. And excited. It's just...I know we talked about it, but you going on the pill...it just makes it real, kind of...and I'm...I'm a little..."

I slapped my hand over my mouth. "Sehun Oh...are you actually nervous about our first time?" I started shaking with silent laughter.

He huffed and crossed his arms. "Shut up. It's not funny."

I rolled onto my side, giving into my laughing fit until my sides hurt. When I had composed myself a few minutes later, I sat up and straddled his lap. The solemn look on his face made me feel bad. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. It was just unexpected, that's all. Tell me why you're nervous." He glowered at me and I laid my head on his chest. "I'm sorry. It's just that the girl is usually the one anxious about her first time, not the guy. Don't be mad. Talk to me."

After a moment he relented, uncrossing his arms and wrapping them around my back. "Y'know, just because I'm the guy doesn't mean I don't think about these things. Did you even stop to think that maybe I'm worried I won't be good enough in bed for you?" I lifted up my head to look at him. "I mean, I'm your first. I'm the one who sets the standard for, ugh, anyone else you sleep with. And losing your ity can hurt, and I don't like the idea of hurtin' you. And what if I can't make you come? What if that first time goes so badly it turns you off from forever?"

I sat up and clamped my hand over his mouth. "Stop it. You're spiraling." He raised one of his eyebrows at my use of one of his favorite phrases. "You're right. I never stopped to think you might be worried about our first time too, and I should have. The thing is, I have never wanted to be with anyone the way I want to be with you. I...I care for you, a lot. I want you to be my first because I trust you." He mumbled something against my hand, so I let it down. "Besides, you made me from just two fingers, so I really don't think that's something you have to worry about."

Sehun cleared his throat. "I just want to make you happy" he responded quietly.

I started to unbuckle his belt. "You do." I moved to undo the button on his jeans when he grasped my hands.

"Are we...do you want to do this now?"

I shook my head and pulled my hands back to their mission. "No. Not tonight. But, to again use your words, I was an tonight and I just want to make you feel good. Granted, I'm not as skilled as you are, so tell me i