Chan couldn’t sleep that night. He tossed and turned, but everytime he shut his eyes, he’d see nightmares of blood and Minhee’s crying face.

“...please.” Chan thought he could hear Minhee’s voice begging for mercy. In the background, he could hear the screams of pain from battle.  He awoke with a start, his face covered in sweat. Chan quickly sat up in his bed and looked around.

Byeongkwan was sleeping soundly next to him, and no one else was around. Chan sighed. He was just imagining things. 

Chan slipped out of his bed and went outside. 

He decided he needed some fresh air. 

It was only a few hours after the attack, so it was probably very early in the morning and everything was still dark. His head hurt from the alcohol he drank earlier in the night, but the cool night air helped soothe him. 

He walked over to the edge of the boat and looked out into the sea. He leaned against the side of the ship with his head resting in his arms.

Chan wasn’t expecting anyone else to be awake, so he jumped a little when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned to see Donghun.

“Chan…” Donghun called to him. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Thinking.” Chan replied. “What about you?”

Donghun reached over and caress his shoulder. “My shoulder hurts too much to sleep.”

“Sorry.”

“Why?” Donghun asked. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“Yeah I know. But I still feel sorry.” Chan sighed, “...I feel so useless sometimes.”

“You did good today.” Donghun reassured.

“...yeah.” Chan admitted sadly.

Donghun could tell Chan didn’t feel too good about today’s events. He could tell Chan was conflicted. 

“You know, back when we first started to sail on our own,” Donghun started to speak, “we had nothing but anger and sadness in our hearts.”

Donghun sighed. “We were young, and we had just lost our families.”

“I heard.” Chan replied softly. 

“Yes,” Donghun assumed either Jun or Seyoon had told him. 

“It was a tough time for all of us. We turned to the only thing we had left: the feelings of revenge. It was the only thing that drove our survival. Back then, we didn’t care who we killed, or who we stole from. We told ourselves it was for the greater good. That the world would be better if we survived long enough to finish our revenge.”

Donghun gritted his teeth. “We were in the wrong, and we learned the hard way. We lost half of our crew.”

Chan looked at Donghun’s eyes. He could tell that the elder was hurting.

“I told Jun I couldn’t do this anymore. I wanted to quit then.” Donghun shook his head. “But that was stupid. It wasn’t going to fix all the wrongs we had done.”

Donghun looked directly at Chan and stared into his eyes. “We’re not good people, Chan. We’ve killed more people that I can count, and we’ve hurt countless more. But we’re not selfish. We’re trying to make the world a better place.”

“How?” Chan asked. “How will doing any of this make the world a better place?”

“First, I need you to understand something, Chan.” Donghun explained. “Nobles are not good people. They live by feeding off the less fortunate and taking money from other people’s labor. I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of bad experiences with nobles. Everyone has.”

Chan looked down in shame.

“Nobles are the worst kind of people.” Donghun continued. “We steal solely from nobles now. We’re taking back what is rightfully the people’s and returning it to them.”

Donghun reached in his pocket and pulled out a gold coin. “All the money we take and extra food, we give it to those in need. We stop by dock and distribute it even to the villages nearby. If we aren’t busy stealing from nobles, we are fighting privateers, like the ones that burned down our village. Our village didn’t survive, but that doesn’t mean others shouldn’t be given the chance.”

“Are noblemen that bad? Aren’t they the ones who are supposed to protect us?” Chan muttered. “Where has our country gone wrong?” 

Donghun frowned. “I don’t know, Chan. But I know there isn’t a single good noble out there. The people of Choice and the nobles can’t coexist.”

Chan looked visibly upset. Donghun knew Chan’s family was involved with nobles somehow, but Donghun knew Chan had to learn the truth sooner or later.

Donghun cleared his throat. “If your dad still works for a noble, I would recommend you tell him to leave soon.”

Chan looked up at Donghun confused. “What? Why?”

Donghun walked closer to Chan and lowered his voice. “The people can’t stand the oppressive rule much longer. I heard there will be a revolt soon. ”

“Where?!” Chan urged.

Donghun sighed. “Everywhere, Chan. Nowhere is safe from the people. The noblemen are getting what they deserve.”

Chan could see the sky start to brighten as the sun began pushing up into the night. Donghun walked over and patted Chan on the shoulder. 

“I’m going back to sleep. If you’re planning on staying up, could you take first watch?”

Chan nodded. He watched as Donghun walked away. 

Chan slowly walked over to the rope ladder that led to the crow’s nest. He climbed it bit by bit until he reached the top. 

By the time he got there, the sun had just started to peak over the horizon. The sky was aflame with orange and yellows, and the clouds were highlighted in a bright pink. It was a breathtaking sight. 

Chan curled up into a ball as he sat in the crow’s nest alone. He leaned over the edge of the nest and looked around. He saw nothing but an empty deck and an empty sea. Chan felt so small looking down on the vast ocean. 

There was a lot going through his head in the moment. He was thinking hard about the events that had happened last night, about his conversation with Byeongkwan, and also his conversation with Donghun. 

Chan never felt so conflicted before. But he also knew he had no one who could relate to his own situation, and no one to turn to for advice. 

Chan felt immensely lonely and overwhelmed sitting there alone, and for the first time since he came aboard the ACE, he started to cry.